Victim of a Teenage Nobody
by Stephaniiie
Summary: AU/AH "Mr Cullen, your new task is as simple as it is difficult." There was a pause and then the photo came down in front of me. "I want you to murder Miss Isabella Swan." Full summary inside. T for bad language, dark themes and strong sexual references
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer- Stephenie Meyer unfortunately published Twilight before I could so Edward Cullen (and all of the others) belong to her… *sigh***

**A/N: Well, a new story. Be warned now, this is not a comedy like THWTLAL. It's angsty. And possibly a little insane, maybe even psychotic, but the idea came to me and I just kind of HAD to write the prologue to see where it went. And yes this is ALL HUMAN.**

**Full Summary: **_**"Mr Cullen, your new task is as simple as it is difficult." There was a pause and then the photo came down in front of me. "I want you to murder Miss Isabella Swan." **_**Bella Swan is a world-wide teenage superstar. She can sing, she can dance and she can act. Edward is just one of the thousand teenage nobodies who crushes on her. But a chance encounter on a dark night means that Edward is hired as Bella's bodyguard. But little does Bella know that Edward can't be trusted; he's not just a teenage nobody. He has a task that needs to be fulfilled: the termination of one Miss Isabella Swan.**

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Prologue**

"See you in hell, _Bella_," he spat, slamming the door.

I cringed into the carpet, my body's automatic response to escape pain. I tried desperately to work up a scream, but I was too weak to even do that now. Well, his plan had worked. Whenever someone found me, it would be too late. It was strange how calmly I accepted that I was dying. Actually, it was strange how I knew that I was dying at all; I had been so well-protected that I had never experienced real physical pain, but somehow I just knew that death was coming. It was like I could see it, though it was silent and invisible.

It was ironic, really, how I was getting what I wanted. Death was coming painfully and slowly, and I knew what was happening. I writhed at the impossible pain inside, but on the outside, I merely twitched, my muscles shutting down, refusing to do what my brain told them to. With great difficulty I clutched my hand to my chest and felt the blood seep over my hand. I pushed, trying to get it back in but of course I knew that it wouldn't work. I also knew that the deep stab wound in my chest was the most deadly, and that it had been my fault. If I hadn't fought, he would have killed me nicely, like he said. If I had believed that he had been serious, then I would have let him take me back to his office and drug me painlessly. But instead I got the knife in the heart. Well, I would've sworn that his knife had cut my heart in half, if it had still been intact. But it wasn't. My heart had been played with, stepped on and crushed so much in the last few months that there was no way that it could be injured any further. For the first time ever, I was glad. Because if the emotional pain of having my heart broken had already lessened (but not gone completely; it could never be gone), then it made the physical pain that much better, that much more bearable.

I shut my eyes and the only thing I could see beyond the red film of the pain was a pair of glittering green eyes and a messy mop of bronze hair. Even now, he was all I could think about. I was still in love with him. Even now that I knew that he had been planning this – my death, that was inching closer and closer with every second that passed – for months, I couldn't dislike him. I couldn't even stop loving him. He was going to be my dying thought and I didn't mind. I _did_ love him, and that was a feeling that would never disappear. The emotional pain I felt from the betrayal hurt more than the physical pain of approaching death. Not that I hadn't had my suspicions about Edward, but to have them confirmed was agonising. And to have him actually go from my protector to turn round and stab me in the back, almost literally, was worse. The man I loved had pretty much killed me. I was seconds away from death, because of the man I loved, and he was all I could think about.

I remembered the way his gorgeous green eyes would light up when he laughed, the way one corner of his mouth would pull up into an adorable crooked grin, the way he'd run his hands through his permanently messy bronze bouffant when he was worried, the way he'd stare at me as if I was the only thing in the world, the way his lips moved against mine, moulding together as if we were made for each other; the way he would whisper how much he loved me against my swollen lips; the way he would hold me; and the way he would be permanently on the lookout for someone about to swoop down and shoot me. At first I had believed that he was just taking his job seriously (perhaps a little _too_ seriously), almost crossing that thin line into paranoia. Of course, the real reasons behind this were glaringly obvious to me now. He only knew of his own motives, so how could he be sure that no one else was about to try the same thing? He didn't want anyone to hurt me so that he could do it himself.

I felt the pieces of my heart throb painfully as that thought crossed my mind. He hadn't loved me at all; he had just wanted to get close to me so that he could do away with me without my feeling the need to get revenge. So that I'd love him enough to forgive him. Well, it had worked flawlessly. I was heartbroken but still utterly, hopelessly in love. He couldn't do anything now that would stop my unconditional love from ringing true in every cell in my body. He had committed the worst crime against me and here I was still wishing that he would come and stay by my side while I died. I wondered briefly how many times a heart could be mangled before it finally gave up. I wondered how long it would take for mine to realise that he didn't truly love me. I wondered how I had ever fallen for his trick in the first place. I wondered why I loved him.

But the pain was overwhelming then. It burned at me and tortured my body, even though, logically, I knew that I should be numb by now. I willed death to come quicker so that the indescribable… not just pain, but absolute _agony_ would go away. I could feel my consciousness slipping away and I was glad. Glad to be going, to leave this hell behind me.

Hell. Abruptly, the small portion of fear I had about dying vanished. Because there was no way hell could be ahead of me now; hell was in my past. Fame is a funny thing. It was glorified, made to look better than it was. Having photos taken and getting bags of money. No one mentioned the hard work, the drive you had to have, the way you had to give your job your all, your everything. No one mentioned that fans would mob you wherever you went and the opposite of fans would jeer at you when you walked by. No one mentioned that people in the show business were all cold-hearted devils in designer clothes that were put off by nothing.

No, I corrected myself. Not all of them. Alice wasn't. Rose wasn't. Jasper and Emmett definitely weren't. And I had tried pretty damn hard to make sure that I wasn't too. I had tried to make sure that I was a nice medium of a normal down-to-Earth girl with a famous job. If only I had figured out earlier that two different personas were hard to switch between, they weren't just like clothes. If only I had figured out that fame would be my undoing; one of the causes of my murder.

My thoughts were beginning to spiral out of control as the darkness overwhelmed me. I couldn't see anymore, but I could still hear the laboured breathing that gradually got slower and slower so I knew I was still alive. But my thoughts were everywhere. Flashes of my life came and went, as did things I wanted to see. Things like Edward's eyes, Edward's face, Edward's hair, Edward's body… And then there were the things that I didn't want to see. Things like my expression in the mirror across the hotel room as realisation dawned on me and I knew that I really was going to die, Edward's torn face as he had left me earlier, the penned envelope addressed to a 'Miss Isabella Swan'…

And then, abruptly, I stopped thinking. The end of the thoughts, the end of the pain, the end of my life. Death. Finally, finally, pain-free death. Darkness and nothingness. The end I had been longing and waiting for. The pain flared one last time and then was gone completely.

My hectic schedule was at long last over. My gruelling life was gone. The show was over and the curtains closed on an empty stage.

Gone. Gone. Gone.

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**OMC angsty or what? Thanks so much for reading it. I promise that, if I carry on, the other chapters will not be this doom & gloom and depressing. Or short. I know it's really short. The real chapters would get longer. Also, there would probably be more EPOV than BPOV, though this chapter doesn't suggest that.**

**I know this chapter possibly covered some sensitive issues and I'd like to apologise if it offended you at all-- it's not intended to do that. Hopefully it hasn't, but I'd prefer to put that in sooner rather than later.**

**This IS all human so (before anyone asks) where it says that the pain is burning her body, it's strictly metaphorical.**

**I don't know if I'll carry on; I feel like I should probably stick to funny fluffy stuff rather than angst with a plot… :S PLEASE give me your honest opinion on this!!! Hit or miss? Good or bad? Amazing or psychotic? Maybe even both? If you're scared of hurting my feelings just say something like 'stick to comedy' because seriously, I won't be offended. I'll wholeheartedly agree with you.**

**Honestly, I'm begging here.**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!**

**Thanks**

**Steph**


	2. 1: Stories, Starbucks and Saviours

**Important: I am English so when I write 'football' or 'footballer' I mean soccer if you're American, just to clear up any confusion. Also, I have never been to LA so I used a bit of creative license there. I hope you don't mind :D**

**And the prologue was like the prologue in Twilight. The prologue takes place towards the end of the story though not at the very, very end. There will be something after that so you don't know how it's ended yet, though it may seem like you do. This is really where the story begins. I hope you like it!**

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 1- Stories, Starbucks and Saviours**

**Bella POV**

"Of course I'm safe Emmett!" I exclaimed with a sigh, at breaking point. "I don't need someone to protect me. Why wouldn't I be safe?"

"Bella, it's just a precaution," Emmett said _again_. "I just said we should look into it, that's all and you're blowing this way out of…"

I sighed, exasperated. "I'm not blowing this out of proportion. Emmett, honestly, who would dare hurt me with your muscles around?"

Emmett cracked a smile, but just a small one. Then he was serious again. "Bella, you're like a sister to me. I just don't want you to get hurt, that's all."

"I know, Emmett," I said. Emmett was really only my cousin but ever since my Mum, Renee, had died when I was eight, he had become more of an older brother when I had moved in with my Dad, Charlie, who happened to live in the same small town as Emmett: Forks. He was the chief of police there and when Mum died he had become a workaholic, doing everything he could to stay away from the home and painful memories. So it was then that my fourteen-year-old cousin had become an over-protective father figure as well as being my brother and my best friend. Now, ten years on, not only was he still my 'brother' and best friend, he was also my agent. He had lost the father figure as I had matured as I grew up and he… well, he hadn't, but he was still ridiculously over-protective. It didn't help that my job called for us to move from the safe, quaint little town of Forks to the highly-populated and dangerous Los Angeles. Leaving my real father behind in Washington meant that Emmett felt that he needed to look after me even better than he had when he beat up a kid in the playground because he wolf-whistled at me. He had gotten past beating up every guy that gave me a second glance now, which was lucky because nearly all of them did, what with my face being splashed all over the covers of glossy magazines and my name constantly echoed on the radio, but occasionally I caught his fists balling up as though he wanted to.

The silence between the two of us was awkward now. I bit my lip and went to the side of the room, grabbing up my bag and my sweater. I pulled the jumper over my head and swung the bag over my shoulder.

"Where are you going?" Emmett demanded, watching me in amazement.

"I'm going to get a coffee, Emmett," I replied. "Hardly a crime."

"Are you sure that's a good…?" Emmett started to ask.

I shut him up with a look. "Yes, Emmett. I want a coffee, so I'm going to get a coffee. I don't need a babysitter to walk down the road to Starbucks, get a coffee and walk down another road to get home."

Emmett sighed. "Fine. But you'll knock on my door when you get back, right?" he checked. That was the down side of staying in the hotel room next door to Emmett and Rosalie.

"Yes," I said warily. I was tempted to comment on his paranoia, but I thought he might take that the wrong way. Besides, I knew that he was only like he was because he cared about me. "See you later." And then I pushed the door open and stepped outside into the late September night. The wind was crisp and cold and it blew strong, biting raw against my cheeks, whipping my hair around my face. I shivered and pulled the neck of my sweater as high as it would go. I started down the alleyway that led to the brightly lit streets of LA, but stopped after a few steps, remembering the all-important sunglasses, even though it was almost half ten. I rummaged one-handed in my bag for a moment before my hand came into contact with the smooth plastic. I pulled them out and slipped them on before exposing myself to the street.

I walked quickly, head down, trying to stay inconspicuous, but that, of course, was something that would never, and could never, happen. A flash went off from behind me, but I knew not to turn. I ignored the quick flashes and clicks from behind me as thoroughly as I could. The media was so annoying; why couldn't they just leave me alone? I was just a person, for crying out loud!

As if trying to prove me right, I caught sight of the display in the window of a newsagents. It was just a rack full of magazines, but they all had my picture on the front. I cringed and looked away, not wanting to see the glossy airbrushed photos. It was bad enough for even Alice to pick up on my close friendship with Jacob Black, but the whole world? Now there were captions scrawled in every crummy gossip magazine and tabloid newspaper: 'Black and Swan get cosy', 'Soccer Star + Super Singer = Secret Snogs?'. They thought they were so clever, making up stories like that, but seriously, I could have done better, and I was a mediocre singer. Well, I thought I was. Emmett insisted that I was the very best and I had thought that he was being biased, but my constant chart-toppers and airplay-grabbers backed up his comments. I never ceased being surprised that people still liked me and by my permanently loyal fans, but Emmett told me that I was too modest.

One of the good things about Los Angeles was the number of Starbucks franchises. No matter where about in LA you were, there was always a Starbucks a few blocks away. Or, if not a Starbucks, somewhere that sold good cappuccinos. I wandered into the bright, welcoming cafe and up to the desk.

The woman at the desk had honey coloured skin and dark hair with a friendly face. She didn't hear me approach, busy writing something down on a napkin. I didn't look at what she had written; that would have been nosy. I cleared my throat slightly to catch her attention.

She started and looked up, her cheeks darkening slightly. "Sorry," she apologised and then smiled. "How can I help you?"

"I'll have a cappuccino, please." I grinned back. I looked at her name tag. "Angela," I added.

She beamed at me and said, "Sure," before grabbing me a large polystyrene and pouring it for me. She didn't speak while she did this, and I didn't anticipate any more speech from this seemingly shy girl, but then she handed me my drink, took my money and blushed again. Then she asked, "Can… uh… would you mind terribly signing an autograph for my brother? He's a big fan."

I grinned back and reached into my bag for the pen I always carried with me for moments like this. It was the fans that gave me my success; why should I deny them my name scribbled on a napkin or whatever? It was just a few seconds of my time to make their day, so I tried to sign whatever I was asked to. It annoyed me slightly when other celebrities complained about being approached by fans; they weren't the irritating ones. That was the rabid animals that we called the paparazzi.

"Sure," I answered Angela's question. "What's his name?"

"Ben," she replied quietly.

_To Ben, best wishes, Bella_ I scrawled in my loopy handwriting before handing the napkin back to Angela.

"Thanks so much," she said genuinely as she tried to give me my change.

I didn't take it. "Keep the change as a tip. You deserve it," I told her.

She smiled again, the action lighting up her face. "Thank you," she repeated. "It was so nice to meet you."

"You too," I responded honestly. I'd have to make more of an effort to come to this Starbucks rather than the ones with the stupid blonde bimbos that were obviously hired because of their chests than their kindness to the customers.

I turned away, took a sip of my heaven-in-a-cup (as Alice, Rose and I had nicknamed Starbucks' cappuccinos) and walked straight into something big and hard, my clumsiness ensuring that I ended up on the floor, spilling my cappuccino everywhere.

I blinked and then looked up at what I had walked into… or maybe _who_ was the better word. "Jacob!" I exclaimed in surprise, scrambling to my feet and ignoring the hand he extended to help me up. Then I noticed the coffee stain on his white shirt. I gasped. "I am _so_ sorry! I really should have been looking where I was going and…"

"Calm down," he laughed, holding his hands up. "No blood, no foul."

Angela was there then, armed with a bunch of napkins (that she handed to Jacob), a fresh cappuccino and a mop for the floor. She didn't look annoyed in the slightest, which made me feel a little better, as she wiped up the mess. I turned back to Jacob and watched him rub the dark patch on his shirt, the napkins crumbling when he rubbed too hard. I felt the blood rush up to colour my cheeks and I bit my lip. "I'm really…" I started to say again.

"Don't worry about it, Bella," Jake cut me off. "Go take a seat and I'll join you in a minute."

I hesitated, and then nodded uncertainly, before going over to the little table in the corner, the one that was the most out of the way. I looked around and was relieved to see that there weren't many other people in there. I wasn't so relieved to see that the few that hadn't already been staring at me now were. It wasn't surprising, really, considering the ruckus that I had just caused by running into the person that I was supposedly having a relationship with. Damn. As I took my seat, and a sip of the next coffee, I realised that this would probably not look good. The scattering of paparazzi that had followed me here were still loitering outside, pretending not to be looking or listening, and they could come up with all sorts of new, inventive headlines making out that Jacob and I had arranged for me to dump my drink on him just so that we could see each other. Of course, that wasn't true. Jacob and I had been friends since we were little, making mud pies in our back gardens and copying homework off of each other; romance was never really something I had considered. I knew that Jacob had considered it plenty of times, but he knew now that there would never be an 'us'. I also knew that he had moved on and that there _was_ a girl that he had his eye on but these stupid headlines surely weren't doing me any favours; Jacob had always been just a friend, and he'd never be more than that.

"Hey," Jacob said as he sat down opposite me, breaking through my abstractions. "What brings you to this part of LA?"

I cocked a brow at him. "I could ask you the same question."

He laughed loudly. "I play football here, Bella."

"My studio is just down the road. And I train here," I told him quietly. Everything you said had to be quiet in this strange world of fame and fortune; anything you said could be easily twisted by journalists to mean anything and everything. Having had made my fair share of mistakes in the music business, I was really careful not to do the same thing again. Perhaps too careful, maybe a little paranoid, but at least it didn't earn me bad press that I didn't deserve.

"Train?" he asked, also quiet.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Jacob, you do have to train to sing and dance. But the studio I record my songs in is in LA. I worked late; just left."

Jake nodded and took a sip of his drink. "Recording new music?"

I rolled my eyes again, this time in annoyance, and nodded.

"Hard work?"

I scoffed. "Ugh. You can say that again. Em's been working me harder than a pack mule on steroids, I swear!"

Jacob laughed and I couldn't help but smile in response.

"How about you? Since when do footballers wear tuxes?" I questioned, and then added, "A question that has been plaguing me ever since I walked into you."

He grinned. "Literally," he stuck on the end of my sentence before answering my question. "Presentation. You dress up and watch other people get trophies."

"Didn't you get any?" I wondered, my eyes narrowing.

"I got one," he said dismissively.

I smiled again. "That's good. Where was it anyway? You should have told me and then I could have used you as an excuse."

"Yeah, I knew that was all I was good for." He pretended to be miserable. Badly, might I add.

"Your acting skills need working on," I noted.

He barked out a laugh. "It was at the LACS, of course. Where else do they do these things?"

My brow furrowed in confusion. "Los Angeles Central Stadium? But that's miles away. Practically the other side of LA."

"So?"

"So why'd you come to this Starbucks?"

"Hoping to literally bump into you," he teased winking.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, 'cos we both love it when you do that. You know, you'll just encourage the press with comments like that."

He shrugged. "Why do you care so much?"

I frowned. "I don't know, I just do. But you're changing the subject. Why'd you come here?"

He finished off his coffee and looked at the floor. "Because the people here are nicer," he replied.

I stared at him for a moment. What did he mean by that? Was he talking about me? Oh _please_. I thought he had got over that crush ages ago.

Jacob changed the subject then, talking about some film he had seen in the cinema. We talked for ages about nothing at all, just what we had been doing since we had last seen each other about a month before.

"I gotta go," he said eventually, chucking his polystyrene cup in the bin. "I'll call you."

"Okay, see you round, Jake," I responded, watching him walk out of the coffee shop. I finished off my cappuccino, that was cold now, and glanced at my watch, wondering whether to get another. My mouth dropped open when I saw the time though. It was almost midnight. I supposed I shouldn't be so surprised, seeing as I had left the studio just an hour and a half earlier, but I was surprised that Starbucks had stayed open this late. I was the only person still left in here now, apart from Angela who was at the desk, looking like she was close to falling asleep at the counter.

Feeling terrible, I went over to her and put a crisp fifty dollar bill in her hand. She started and then stared at it. "What are you…?" she started to ask, trying to give it back.

I wouldn't take it. "No. I'm so sorry we kept you. Please keep it."

"I can't…" she said quietly.

"Honestly, I insist," I said. "It's the least I can do for all of the help you gave us. I'll come back here," I promised.

Angela seemed to be lost for words.

"It was really nice to meet you," I repeated her words from earlier. "See you round, Angela."

"Bye," she said, smiling slightly.

I indicated for her to pocket the money and then I turned and left Starbucks.

The night air was colder now than it had seemed coming out of the studio. It was so late that even the leftover paparazzi had gotten bored and gone home. I shivered, grateful that I didn't have followers for once. I started on the route back to the hotel. It lead me off of the bright street and down a side-road. Emmett and I had deliberately chosen an out-of-the-way hotel that wasn't five star so that I wouldn't get plagued by paps and fans. The hotel certainly could have been nicer, but it wasn't crummy and I wouldn't have minded if it was anyway. I felt uncomfortable in luxury hotels getting special treatment; I was just a normal person and I shouldn't be treated any differently just because of my job. Because that was all my singing was at the end of the day; a job. Sure, it had been my lifelong dream as well, but when you looked at the big picture, it was just another rung on the job ladder, just quite high up. It was another place in the business, because music sure as hell couldn't be called anything else. It _was_ business. Full of people who wanted too much and would do anything to get it, just like any other competitive business.

I wandered along the street, wrapped up in my own thoughts. It wasn't until I heard someone behind me that I realised that I was in the crummy part of the city and that I had taken a wrong turning. I glanced over my shoulder at the footsteps I could hear behind me to see two men in black hoodies. I instantly felt uneasy, and crossed over to the other side of the road before doubling back. I figured that it was only a certain amount of time before I knew where I was and could get back to the hotel.

I quickened my pace, not only eager to get out of this part of the city, but also to get back to a nice warm bed. Today had been long and draining and I had no doubt that tomorrow would be just the same. As well as recording the next two songs to go on my next album, I had a photo-shoot for a teen magazine, and Alice would surely insist on spending at least three hours 'dolling me up'. Just thinking about it made me exhausted.

Then I heard muttering behind me. I looked back again to see the same men. Though this time, there were two more. My stomach dropped and I started to half-run, tripping over my own feet. Desperate to get away, I went down a side-alley, realising my mistake too late. I started to run properly then, another mistake. There was no way I would ever be able to out-run them, or beat them in a fight.

"Hey, where you going, beautiful?" someone called after me.

I tried to run faster, and I tripped. This time, I fell, and they caught up with me quickly.

The biggest of the four men, the ring-leader, got to me first. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me up so that my face was close to his. "You trying to get away, darling?" he asked. His breath smelt like stale alcohol and I wanted to puke.

I spat in his face. "Get off of me!"

That made him angry. "You little slut!" he roared, shoving me back at the ground.

I lay there, silent and quivering.

The other three men turned on me then, jeering at me, telling each other that they'd love to 'get some' of me. I had never been religious, but I prayed now. I prayed that I wouldn't be raped and left for dead. I prayed that these men would decide that I was ugly and leave me alone. I prayed that Emmett would ring to see where I had got to. I even prayed that a member of the paparazzi would come after me and save me.

None of that happened, but someone must have been there to answer my prayers because I heard other footsteps, fast ones, and then a voice. "Hey!" a gorgeous voice. "Hey! Leave her alone!"

The men all turned in the direction of the voice and the footsteps.

"Ooh!" the gang leader mocked. "Sorry mate, this girl's taken."

"Like hell she is," the unseen stranger growled and then, suddenly, the leader was on the ground.

He swore violently and took a swing at my saviour, but he grabbed his arm and there was a loud crack, followed by a yell coming from the man in black.

The other three men were already backing off.

"Leave her alone," the new man growled. "I don't want to kill you, but I will if I have to."

The gang leader seemed to understand, and he followed the rest of his gang away wimpishly.

I could see my saviour properly now. He was tall, very tall from down here, and he had excellent physique, muscles big enough so that he could easily be a boxer. He wore simple clothes from what I could see in the dim light and had an unruly, messy mop of strange, copper-tinted hair. He watched the gang go, his back on me until they had all but vanished.

Then he turned and met my eyes. I heard myself gasp as I found myself lost in his beautiful, glittering emerald green orbs. They were huge and deep, and full of compassion. He held his hand out and I took it, letting him help me to my feet.

He spoke then, softly. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, dazed.

His eyes smouldered, even in the pitch black as he looked me up and down, to check that I really wasn't hurt. Eventually, he seemed to decide that I _was_ fine and he bent down and picked my bag up for me.

I watched him, still unable to speak, and swayed a little on my weak knees.

"Where do you live?" he asked. He held one of my elbows in his hand and took my free hand with his other so that I wouldn't fall.

I stuttered out the name of the hotel and he nodded solemnly, turning to lead the way. But then, he looked back down at me, and flashed the most dazzling grin I had seen in my whole life. One side of his mouth pulled up crookedly, revealing some perfectly white teeth and his green eyes sparkled. "I'm Edward Cullen, by the way."

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**Eeep! Edward! :D Well what did you think of the first proper chapter?**

**So yeah, like I said at the top, when I say Jake is a footballer, I mean soccer player if you're from America. I would write soccer instead, but that would probably confuse me so I'm not going to XD And, no, Jake is not going to be much of a problem for Bella. He's just a friend to be there when the going gets tough.**

**And so many people have asked why I've told you the end. Calm down guys, I haven't. That's just the end from Bella's POV. Also, why did Edward kill her? Well, I'm not going to be stupid enough to tell you that yet XD so you'll just have to keep reading… XD**

**But wow guys! 74 reviews for a prologue is definitely the best response any story I've ever written has gotten before! Thank you so, so much for reading, reviewing, favouriting, alerting and everything else. I'm really glad that you think that this is worth continuing so I will try my best to do that.**

**Sorry that I haven't updated THWTLAL. I will post the next chapter on Friday.**

**So what are your thoughts so far? Any fave lines or whatever?**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!**

**Thanks**

**Steph**


	3. 2:A Connection, A Cousin and A Challenge

**A/N- Well, a lot of you seem to be a little annoyed with Edward. Hopefully this chapter will convince you otherwise; yes, a whole chappie in EPOV ;D Oh and the return of the chapter playlist! This will be a song I'm loving at the moment and I'll find a quote from the song that is fairly relevant to the chapter :D**

**Chapter Playlist- **_**My Hero **_**by **_**Paramore (Foo Fighters Cover): **__"There goes my hero. Watch him as he goes. There goes my hero; he's ordinary."_

**Previously… (BPOV)**

_I watched him, still unable to speak, and swayed a little on my weak knees._

"_Where do you live?" he asked. He held one of my elbows in his hand and took my free hand with his other so that I wouldn't fall._

_I stuttered out the name of the hotel and he nodded solemnly, turning to lead the way. But then, he looked back down at me, and flashed the most dazzling grin I had seen in my whole life. One side of his mouth pulled up crookedly, revealing some perfectly white teeth and his green eyes sparkled. "I'm Edward Cullen, by the way."_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 2- A Connection, A Cousin and A Challenge**

**Edward POV**

She shook in my arms, trembling like a leaf caught in the breeze, as I towed her gently through the streets toward the hotel. My brain was still refusing to comprehend that this was real. From the moment that I had met her eyes, I knew who she was, but there was no way on Earth that _I'd _walk into her, that _I _would save her life. That just didn't happen to people like me. How many times had I dreamt of meeting Isabella Swan? How many times had I lay awake at night imagining what I would say to her? Never had this situation ever come into my head. Probably because Bella Swan wouldn't come around these parts. But here she was, clear as day. _Why_ was she here? Didn't she know that this part of LA was dangerous? She should really have been more sensible than that. She _was_ more sensible than…

Careful Edward, I stopped myself. It wasn't safe to think things like that. I didn't know her. Just because I owned all of her CDs and spent my entire life daydreaming about her didn't mean that I knew her. There was no way that you could get to know someone through listening to lyrics they sang, but probably didn't write. And there was no way that my stupid, boyish daydreams of her would do her justice. Even now, as fear prevented her from uttering a single syllable, I knew that she was a better person than I had ever imagined.

I looked down at her as I continued to walk to see her staring at my face, as though she were memorising it in the little light available. Blood rushed up to colour her cheeks and she looked away. I tucked her closer into my side.

Eventually, she got fed up with the silence. "Um… Edward?" Her voice was as beautiful as it was when she was singing.

"Mm?" I said, to let her know that I heard. In all honesty, I was just surprised that she had remembered my name.

"Thank you," she muttered, sounding way too calm.

Her relaxed tone worried me. "Are you okay? You're not going into shock?"

She frowned. "Should I be?"

I was amazed; she wasn't frightened? "Yes," I replied after a minute. Then I decided that she probably didn't know the extent of the danger she had been in. Well, I wasn't about to tell her.

"I don't think I am…" she mused. "Are _you _okay?"

That threw me completely. "What?" I asked. "Why wouldn't I be okay?"

She wiggled the hand that was inside mine and I released it automatically, instantly regretting taking it in the first place. If she hadn't been in shock, I shouldn't have held her like that. She'd think I was after something. I knew that I should remove the hand that had drifted from her elbow to her waist as well, but I couldn't pull it away; I wanted to make the most of these unreal seconds.

But she didn't take her hand away completely. She just took my hand and stroked my knuckles gently. "You're bleeding," she whispered.

I shrugged. "It's no big deal."

She dabbed at my injured hand again, this time taking it carefully between her own tiny hands and turning it over and over, as though she were analysing it. If it were possible for hands to blush, mine would have been bright red. As it were, it was not possible for hands to blush so they remained the same.

We were nearly at the hotel now, and the curiosity I had felt earlier about why she was here was rekindled. I decided to ask her before I chickened out. "Why were you so far away from the hotel anyway?"

She blushed, but didn't answer.

"Sorry," I apologised instantly. I cursed internally at myself. Of course the question was too personal. What was wrong with small talk? Even some crap about the weather would have been better than that!

"Don't apologise," she said hastily. "I don't mind. I…" The blush darkened her cheeks again and the second's pause made me more curious; almost painfully so. "I got lost," she finally admitted.

I didn't laugh as she expected me to. Instead I responded with another too-nosy question. "Where were you headed?"

She laughed though and the sound was beautiful, like pealing bells. "Back to the hotel. Believe it or not, I actually walked right past it."

I laughed with her, still unable to believe that this was actually real.

"I had just been to coffee with a friend and then I was just thinking and I just… forgot to stop walking I guess," she said.

I smiled, but then the lights of the hotel appeared as we rounded the corner and my earlier worries came back. "Are you sure you don't feel nauseous?"

She rolled her eyes. "Not one bit." It sounded like the truth…

"No pain or panic? You're not hungry?"

"Honestly, Edward" – a thrill went through me when she spoke my name as though we had been friends forever – "I'm fine."

My brow furrowed. "But… any normal person would go into shock after an ordeal like that."

She grinned beatifically at me. "Well, I'm not any normal person."

I laughed and shook my head in disbelief, taking my hand back from hers to run it through my hair and regretting it instantly. I felt the loss of her warm hands, sad now that our skin was no longer touching… Inwardly I chastised myself for being that obsessed that quickly. I was just walking the girl home, for crying out loud! Then I'd never see her ever again, so I should be grateful just to get this with Bella Swan. Not many people could say that they'd saved _her_ life. "You can say that again."

She reached for the hand that I still held at her waist, steering her, then and gently let it go before smiling at me. "My cousin's a bit… overprotective," she explained.

That confused me. She lived with her cousin? Why? Was she single then? Dammit, Edward, don't think things like that!

"Okay," I said feebly.

Neither of us spoke as the lift went up to floor six, where I presumed her room was. I didn't ask if she wanted me to come with her, and she didn't comment. I was glad about that; I wanted to see her back to her house and make sure she ate or drank something. I was a bit uncertain about leaving her when she could break down at any moment. It was bizarre how protective I was over her already. Probably because I had already had to save her. That was laughable; she had saved me in so many ways. The moment our eyes had met, I felt a connection between us, a spark. And it still hadn't gone.

The lift pinged as the door open and we stepped out, Bella careful to leave a few feet between our bodies. Because of her overprotective cousin? Or because I was freaking her out by following her home? I hoped that it was the first; she did seem very calm considering that she was a famous singer and I was a fan following her home. For all she knew, I could be a stalker. Or a member of the paparazzi. No, I had saved her life so surely I got some credit for that? A good reputation?

Suddenly, as I thought that, I remembered James' words from earlier. "You'll be getting your new assignment tomorrow, Edward. Your first assignment will be important. You better not screw it up." And I had promised him that I wouldn't. But I had to admit that I had my doubts; the things that James did were very rarely good…

I was distracted by Bella suddenly halting beside me and knocking on a door. If she lived here, why did she have to knock?

The door was opened almost instantly and a tall, well-muscled, dark-haired man opened the door and immediately pulled Bella into a bear hug. "Where have you _been_?" he demanded angrily.

"I'm fine, I was out and…" Bella started to explain, but then the man caught sight of me.

His eyes narrowed. "Who are you?" Bear-dude bent and hissed in Bella's ear. "You _know_ our dating rule, Bella!"

"Relax, Em," she sighed. She gestured to me hesitantly. "Um… this is Edward. He… well, he saved my life." Hmm. Maybe she did know the extent of the danger she had been in. Why wasn't she panicking?

If this 'Em' guy (though I was starting to refer to him as bear-man in my head) looked worried before, he was now having a full-blown panic attack. "What?!"

"Calm down," Bella said far-too-calmly. "Go inside and we'll explain."

I stayed silent as the brown-eyed beauty managed to persuade the man to let me inside. Eventually, I followed the two of them through the hotel room that was more like an apartment. Actually, just the toilet was probably bigger than my apartment. But that was something I should have expected; she was a world-famous singer.

The living area _was_ bigger than my whole apartment, three large cream sofas taking up most of the space in front of a huge plasma screen TV. And this was only a four star hotel?

Suddenly Bella tripped and, automatically, I reached out and caught her, holding her steady, before she could hit the ground, or even get close. Fast reflexes. But then bear-man happened to look over his shoulder. His eyes zeroed in on my hand on her waist – far too close to her ass – and my other hand gripping her wrist, and he was abruptly seething again.

"Explain," bear-man growled after Bella had managed to persuade him that ripping my balls off and force-feeding them to me would _not_ be a good idea. Bella and I had somehow ended up sat on one of the cream sofas, miraculously just a few feet apart, and bear-man paced furiously in front of us. I had gathered that his real name was Emmett but I thought that bear-man suited him better. His huge frame and dark curly hair didn't scream 'Emmett' at me. No, definitely bear-man.

Bella shifted nervously and cleared her throat. "Well, um… I went for a coffee and Jake was there and we got talking and…"

That was the complete wrong thing to say. "Jake?" Bear-man stopped pacing and looked at her. "Jacob Black?" He shook his head. "Jesus, Bella, you said you weren't going to see him anymore! What, do you _want_ the media to splash this story everywhere? Do you _want_ your target audience to get jealous and stop buying your music?"

Bella frowned. "No, of course I don't. I didn't even know he was going to be there. I walked into him – and spilt coffee on him – and we just had coffee together. We're just friends, Em, you know that."

"Yes, but _they_ don't, do they?" I gathered that by 'they', he meant the media.

"Well, who cares what they think?" Bella grumbled, but her tone was a little defeated. "I shouldn't have to stop seeing my friend because of them."

"I never said you had to stop seeing him…" bear-man started, towering over her.

Bella's face flamed angrily. "Yes you did!" she exclaimed, jumping to her feet. Of course, bear-man still towered over her, but her fists were balled and I could see that she wasn't all the shy, pretty little girl I had presumed that she was. Underneath it all, she was feisty. Feisty and strong. "You said exactly that! Emmett, I'm not a child! I can see who I want to see! You're not my Dad and you can't…"

"Woah, woah, woah!" a tinkling voice interrupted Bella's rant. All three of us looked up to see a stunning blonde come through from an adjoining room. She was obviously ready to go to bed as she was only wearing a thin satin dressing gown – wide open - over a figure-hugging bright pink camisole and matching boy-shorts. She really was some good eye-candy, but, with Bella here, her stunning beauty paled in comparison.

"What is going on here?" the blonde asked. And then she caught sight of me. "Who are you?" she demanded, tugging her dressing gown shut.

Her question seemed to remind both bear-man and Bella that I was here. Bella flushed a bright red, which I was coming to realise that was a common reaction in her. Bear-man, meanwhile, narrowed his eyes at me. "Yes, who are you?"

I stood too, noting that everyone else was and it was probably rude to sit on someone else's sofa while everyone else was stood. "My name is Edward Cullen," I said, feeling extremely awkward. "Bella got… lost and I… found her." Well, that really couldn't have sounded stupider. I looked desperately at the beautiful girl in question to back me up.

"What he's trying to say is that I went the wrong way on my way home and these… men…" She hesitated and I could hear the fear in her tone. So she _did_ definitely know how much danger she had been in. _Why wasn't she in shock?_

The silent room was tense now.

Bella looked at me, her gorgeous brown eyes already full of trust for me, even though she had only just met me. I felt my stomach flip and I knew there and then that I was falling. Just looking in her eyes had me smitten, crushing on her high-school-girl-style.

"These men came up to me and…"

"They were all over her." I heard myself say, though I hadn't given myself conscious permission to speak. Even I could hear the disgust and slightly protective edge to my tone. "They were disgusting perverts and they were all over her. I couldn't just walk past." I gritted my teeth, but didn't look away from her beautiful face.

"Bella?" the blonde gasped, looking to her for confirmation.

Bella merely nodded and the other girl came and sat beside her, taking her in her arms. I felt strangely protective, like _I_ should be doing that. I shook that thought out of my head; I didn't even know the girl, she wouldn't want a stranger's arms round her tiny little body.

Bear-man wasn't satisfied. "So what did you do? Wave your magic wand and they disappeared? Or did you want some of her as well?" He glared at me. "I know your type. You just want the fame or the sex, it's never about the girl. Well, I've got news for you." He came and bent over me. "You're not getting either."

I didn't say anything, just stared right back at him.

"Emmett," Bella groaned, seemingly embarrassed, "it's not like that. Edward didn't even know who I was." I didn't fail to notice the way her voice twisted bitterly when she acknowledged that she was special. "He would have done it for anyone, wouldn't you Edward?"

"Yeah," I said, truthfully. No girl deserved that to happen to them.

"So what did he do? Pull a face at them and they ran away?" _Emmett_'s voice was mocking.

"He punched them," Bella said bluntly.

Emmett looked at me then, looking me up and down as though appraising me. I watched him with a raised eyebrow, perhaps cockily. As he took in my facial expression, his eyes narrowed speculatively. "You got some good muscles then… what was it? Culling?"

"Cullen," I corrected. "And yeah, I can protect myself, if that's what you mean?"

"Hmm." His tone turned thoughtful. "Stand up, Cullen."

I stood and stepped forward.

Bear-man circled me, looking me up and down. Standing, I was almost as tall as him, but not as big as him. "Fair dos, Cullen," he said as he got back to my front again. "Got a job?"

I shrugged. I had a sort-of job that I was neither inclined nor allowed to tell him about so he could make what he wanted of my shrug.

"And you're good at protecting people?" Another deluded question and another shrug.

Bella seemed to understand what he was getting at more than me. "No, Emmett," she moaned, catching on. "Don't do that. How many times do I have to tell you?"

"How would you feel about a job as a bodyguard? No qualifications necessary, I just need you to prove that you're worthy," he offered.

I raised my eyebrow at him. "How?" I worked hard to put the right amount of antagonism in my tone, but inside I was worrying already. I had a job. What would James say if I took another? Would it interfere with the first ever assignment I was getting tomorrow?

"Emmett, please," Bella whined, getting to her feet and coming between us. She looked me in the eye and said, "Edward, don't listen to him. He's being stupid. Thanks for tonight and everything, but I really don't need a bodyguard."

I ignored her. "How would I prove that I was worthy?"

Emmett smirked. "Hit me."

I grinned; this was something I wouldn't say no to even if I had no intention of taking his job. I wasn't sure whether I intended to or not yet. On the one hand, there was James and that shit, but on the other, I wasn't stupid and I realised that by being Bella's bodyguard, I'd get to spend time with her and that was shockingly appealing.

"Edward…" Bella's voice wasn't calm anymore. I brushed her aside, thinking that she was worried for bear-man – I wouldn't hurt him… well, not _that _much – so I was surprised when she snapped, "Do you _want_ a black eye then? I'm just trying to protect you, you moron. You do me a favour, I do you one in return, you know?"

I looked at her, shocked, for a moment and then I regained my composure and said, "Thanks for your concern, but I think I'll be okay." And, with that, I pulled off my jacket and shoved it at her. She hugged it to her chest, worry for me wild in her eyes. And that just made me more determined to prove her wrong.

I flexed my biceps and shot a crooked grin at bear-man.

"Bring it," he said cockily.

So I did. I stepped in front of Bella protectively and remembered the way he had towered over her earlier. I imagined that he wanted to hurt her and my jaw clenched. My fist shot out and connected with bear-man's jaw, pushing him backwards. He stumbled, but righted himself, anger and humiliation written over his face. He came back ready to fight now and threw a not-so-subtle right-hook at me. I blocked it neatly, catching his wrist in my hand. He fought against me, trying to pull his wrist away but I held strong and twisted his arm round, pulling him so that his back was to me, his arm twisted half up his back. He grunted and I smirked. "Am I worthy?" I asked sarcastically, releasing him.

He turned and looked at me disdainfully, despite his recent defeat. "You'll do," he said. "Report back here tomorrow at eleven am and I'll speak with you then. I'll be watching you though, Culling. I will be watching you."

I didn't bother to correct him. "See you tomorrow then," I said, grabbing my jacket back out of Bella's arms. "I'll show myself out." And, with that, I turned and headed for the door I had come in from.

I heard furious hissing from behind me and then there were footsteps after me. I walked quicker.

"Edward?" _her_ voice came after me and I hesitated before carrying on walking.

"Edward!" she repeated, slightly louder this time. "Edward, wait."

I turned back and faced her. "What?"

She went red. "Um… just… don't take the job if…" She sighed and then continued speaking, though, this time, with conviction. "I don't need protecting," she said stubbornly. "I mean, thanks for tonight and everything, but it's really unnecessary. It's not like there're people plotting to kill me or anything, and besides, I can protect myself…"

I just had to test her theory. I bent down and knocked her legs out from under her, catching her as she fell before raising an eyebrow at her, meeting her shocked eyes. "You can protect yourself, huh?"

She glared at me. "That's not fair. But, yes, I can protect myself perfectly well, thank you very much for your concern."

I chuckled lightly as I set her back up on her feet. "You better watch your back, Isabella." I lowered my voice. "You never know what – or who – is waiting round the corner." And then I walked off, back to my crummy little flat… and reality, where bear-men did not offer you a job protecting your crush and said crush didn't know you existed…

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**See guys? Edward is actually nice and still sexy as hell, he's just… got a dodgy job? Well, I guess you'll just have to wait and see what happens and why the prologue is like it is later on…**

**And, as you may have gathered, no Edward and Emmett will not get on throughout this story. I know that's a bit unusual, but they're both competing for Bella's affections in the end. Not in the same way but, as Bella said before, Emmett is very protective over her and doesn't want her to get hurt. And Edward doesn't look very trustworthy in Em's eyes, so… instant dislike.**

**Sorry that I haven't updated in ages but, as those of you who read THWTLAL will know, my laptop is broken and has been taken away by Toshiba to be fixed :'( It's STILL not back but I'm hoping that it will be soon and, in the meantime, my Dad's laptop will suffice ;)**

**As of Monday, though, I will be on holiday (nowhere interesting- a couple of hours away here in the always-sunny – yeah right – UK). I'm not sure whether I'll have internet there but, if I do, I will try to update both this and THWTLAL on Tuesday because (drumroll) Tuesday is my 16****th**** birthday and I want to update on my birthday. I have no idea why, I just do :D**

**Also, I've made Bella a singer in this fic, right? Well, because I'm really not good at song lyrics, I'm going to use songs that have already been sung with lyrics that seem to fit how the story's moving at the time. Who sings them, how old or new they are, whether I like them, whether you like them… all of that is completely irrelevant, I will choose songs purely for the lyrics. And I will post links to a version of each song I use on my profile so you can listen to it if you want to.**

**So… I'll estimate about a week till the next update, but it I have no wi-fi, it won't be until after I get back from holidays.**

**Hope you liked the chapter!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!**

**Thanks**

**Steph**


	4. Chapter 3: Mission Impossible

_You got wires, going in._

_You got wires, coming out of your skin._

_You got tears, making tracks._

_I got tears, that are scared of the facts._

_-Wires, Athlete_

**Previously…**

_I just had to test her theory. I bent down and knocked her legs out from under her, catching her as she fell before raising an eyebrow at her, meeting her shocked eyes. "You can protect yourself, huh?"_

_She glared at me. "That's not fair. But, yes, I can protect myself perfectly well, thank you very much for your concern."_

_I chuckled lightly as I set her back up on her feet. "You better watch your back, Isabella." I lowered my voice. "You never know what – or who – is waiting round the corner." And then I walked off, back to my crummy little flat… and reality, where bear-men did not offer you a job protecting your crush and said crush didn't know you existed…_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 3- Mission Impossible (A/N: yeah I'm ditching the alliteration)**

**Edward POV**

"Oi! Cullen!" Tony Linley, my landlord, yelled at me as I headed for the stairs.

Knowing what this would be about, I was tempted to ignore him. Instead, I did the responsible thing and turned to face him. "Yes?"

"I'm still waiting for last month's rent," he told me angrily. "And the month before that, too."

I sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, Mr Linley, but I promise it'll come soon. I'm in the process of getting a new job right now."

Tony came over to me and looked me straight in the eye. "I don't care how you get hold of it, but I want my money Edward. And I want it soon."

"I'll get it," I replied stonily, and then I turned my back on him and went up the stairs. I pushed my front door open; I never bothered with locking it since there wasn't anything here worth stealing, apart from the money that was locked safely away. Besides, if someone wanted to get in it really wouldn't take much anyway- push the door with enough strength and the pathetic lock would give.

I kicked my shoes off, and then bent down to pick up my post: a bill, another bill, a note from Tony telling me pretty much what he just had, and – right at the bottom of the pile – an official-looking letter with the tell-tale hospital watermark stamped on the back. I felt my heart drop, and I walked over to the moth-eaten sofa, sat down and ripped open the top, dreading what I would read.

_Dear Mr Cullen, _it read.

_This is an invoice for the private surgery that was undertaken three weeks ago. This is the third invoice we have sent for the same surgery, and it will be the last. If the correct amount of money is not paid to _LA Private Hospital _in a week, then we shall be taking legal action. Here is your bill:_

_Electrocardiogram $120_

_Cardiac Catheterisation $250_

_Blalock's Landmark Operation $1,600_

_Cardiovascular Specialist $1,000_

_**Total $2,970**_

_In case you have forgotten, you can pay the money via visiting the hospital, telephoning the number printed below, or on our website, also printed below._

_We look forward to hearing from you and receiving your payment, and wish you all the best._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Melissa Hughes (head of financial management at _La Private Hospital_)_

I nodded; this had been expected. I stood up and took the four steps necessary to get to the kitchen-part of my one-room apartment. I opened the top cupboard and pulled out the heavy cardboard box labelled _Vegetables_. I rested it on the counter and sifted through the carrots and various other vegetables until I came across the safe. I gently eased it out and twisted the wheel round until it clicked and the lid sprung open. Inside the safe was two compartments, one that was full of papers, and the other side was crammed full of money. Small stacks of ten dollar bills, tied into clumps of $100 with elastic bands. I took the safe over to the sofa and tipped all of the money out, and then I started to count it.

This was why I knew that I shouldn't have let James take us to the hospital. I should have known that he would pick a private one; one that was stupidly overpriced and probably not as great as others. But they were keeping Cody alive and, at the moment, that was all I could ask for.

In my safe was a total of $3,860. That was enough to cover the hospital bill that had just come through, but not enough for last month's rent, let alone this one as well. I groaned, and let my head fall into my hands. I knew I didn't want to do the mission that James would be giving me tomorrow. I knew that it wouldn't be worth it, but hell I _needed_ the money. So, so badly. I'd sooner be kicked out of this crummy apartment and live on the streets then let Cody die.

So that was why I tucked $3,000 into an envelope, ready to take with me when I made my first of the next days stops at LA PH on the way into James' office. I was dreading that trip, dreading to hear what my next 'mission' would be. If just three months ago, someone had told me that I'd be living in the crappiest of crap apartments already behind on rent, and that I'd be doing illegal 'missions' to keep Cody alive, I would never have believed them. I had been at med school, living in the swankiest dorm of the lot of them, finally doing what Dad would have been proud of me for doing; rather then what James wanted me to do. Until everything fell apart, forcing me to drop out of med school in the middle of the first semester and agree to rob the biggest bank in LA for James, just to get $4,000 of the however many thousands I had taken. I had thought that it would cover everything Cody would need medical-wise, but I hadn't studied CHDs at medical school, and I couldn't have been more wrong. $3,000 barely covered the intensive process that they had done just to find out what was wrong, and he was still gonna need much more extensive surgery- surgery that would cost a bomb. And I had no idea where I was gonna get the money; even if I did take James' mission the next day, it was unlikely that he'd give me the amount I needed.

I sighed, and put the safe away, putting the envelope of cash on the coffee table where I would be able to see it all night. Then, I pushed a chair up against the door, stripped down to my underwear and pulled my sofa out to be a bed. I threw the thin blanket over the top and grabbed my iPod out of my jean pocket. My iPod was the one thing that had come into this dreary new life from my old. It was the only thing I had that reminded me that life hadn't always been this hard. I clicked it on as I climbed into my make-shift bed, and stared at the album artwork that came up: Bella Swan.

A job as Bella's bodyguard… what would that be like? Would I be willing to spend all of my time as her protector? Would I be willing to give up time with Cody to be able to save him? And I knew I would. I would do anything for him to live. I would give up anything and everything for him, as I had promised. But then again, I thought as I turned my iPod off again and settled down to go to sleep, any father would give up anything for their son. It was something that came naturally because, after all, blood was thicker than water.

***

"Hey there, baby," I cooed as I stared down at the tiny person in the incubator. He was gorgeous, with a mop of dark hair that was slowly turning into my coppery shade. He barely ever opened his eyes, but I knew that they were a crystal clear blue – just like his mother. Trust her to leave behind the one part of her she thought was the best part.

It was just gone ten o'clock; an hour until I had to meet James. Of course he wanted me to meet him at the same time as Bella and bear-man did. I decided I would go to James first, get that over quickly, and then go and see Bella and Emmett, if they were still waiting around for me. I doubted that they would and, though I knew which meeting I would have preferred to go to, I also knew that I didn't have much of a choice. At least, not if I wanted to live to regret the choice. Bella may have thought that Emmett was strong, that I was strong, but I knew that James had much stronger men at hand. Men that could 'dispose' of me within the blink of an eye.

I sighed, and gently pushed my latex-gloved hand through the hole in the plastic incubator. I took Cody's little hand between two of my fingers and stroked it. "I'm trying, Cody," I whispered, "I'm trying so damn hard, I promise." I felt tears spring to my eyes and I let my head fall on to my outstretched arm as tears fell down my face. Why did it hurt so much? Why did I wish so badly to be the one dying instead of my baby? Why did I wish that he had never been born? I knew the answers to those questions. Well, the answer, because there was only one response for each and it was the same for all three: _because I love him_. I had never felt anything so strong, and it tore me apart.

I had made so many mistakes in my life, but going out that night had been the worst one. I loved Cody with all of my being, but he was suffering so badly that sometimes I wondered if it was even worth it. I think, deep down, I knew that dropping out of school and getting into the mess I was in was yet another mistake. Because somewhere inside I knew that Cody was going to die, but I couldn't accept it.

I lifted my head and looked at my sleeping son, willing him through. There were wires everywhere; attached to his nose, his wrist, his neck… he was trapped in the plastic cot in a maze of wires. All apart from his little left starfish hand, that was wrapped around my pinky finger. I stared at his hand, watching as his little fingers squeezed as hard as they could. It was amazing how such a tiny person who couldn't even breathe by himself could hold on to me so hard, be so strong.

Two weeks ago, when Cody had been born, the doctors had told me that most children born with any type of CHD grow and develop normally after surgery, but Cody wasn't 'most children'. Cody had been born almost two months earlier than he was supposed to be, and God knew there had been complications.

I sat by his side until I had to leave, and it broke my heart to walk away. But I was the only one he had, and I knew that I had to get the money for the surgery he was going to need in a matter of months, maybe even weeks.

***

"Edward," James greeted me as I slipped into his dark, smoky office seconds after he had called for me. "How are things?"

I simply glared at him.

James sighed and sat back in his chair. "I gave you a job, didn't I? I let you take the kid to a hospital? What else am I supposed to do?"

"You're my legal guardian," I spat. "What do you _think_ you're supposed to be doing?"

James chuckled and shook his head. "Edward, you're eighteen. You don't have a guardian anymore."

"And don't I know it," I muttered darkly.

James rolled his eyes. They were so blood-shot that they almost looked red, the irises a scary deep black with no beginning and no end. "So nice to see you happy, Edward," he remarked dryly. "But. I didn't call you here to talk about your problems- that's what shrinks are for, and I'm not a shrink. I am of the impression that you need money, correct?"

"Well… yeah," I replied, trying to keep my tone casual. "Who doesn't?"

He nodded, as though he could relate. "You completed your last mission so successfully that I am going to give you the best of the best now." He leant forward across the table, the crack of light that split the dark room falling across his face and illuminating his scarred face. "I am going to give you mission x. Code name: Mission impossible."

I raised an eyebrow. "Very original," I said, venom and irony coating my words.

James laughed, ignoring my sarcasm. "Isn't it? No one will suspect anything with a name as obvious as that. It's called double bluffing." Then his tone was serious. "Now, listen very carefully Edward. This mission has been planned for a good few years, and I feel that it is one of the most important I've ever given. Which is why I am prepared to pay a lot of money." He reached under his desk and brought out a suitcase. He rested it on the desk, spun in the combination and pushed the lid open to reveal stacks and stacks of money.

"Great," I said emotionlessly. I didn't know what to make of this. Obviously, this much money would be incredible. It would cover Cody's medical costs and there'd be enough leftover to pay for the rent for the next year or so. But there had to be a catch; there always was. This much money only meant that there was more riding on the mission; that it was more dangerous.

"If you complete the mission, Edward, this would only be the start of the money. If you managed to finish it, then you would receive this much every two months. Think of what it could do. If anything ever went wrong with Cody again, you'd have enough to sort it. Not only that, but you could support him properly. You could buy a proper house miles away from here, never be involved in anything like this ever again. You could pay for day care so you could go back to med school and be a doctor. You could give him a much better life then you ever had, even with my 'perfect' brother."

James' words painted the picture in my head. Cody with a perfect life, one I had never even thought to dream of as a child. I wanted it so badly, but nothing was ever that simple. I knew that. "What is it then?" I asked. "The mission."

He pursed his lips and reached into the top drawer of his desk. He pulled out a photo- one that had been printed from one of those cameras that prints them as soon as they're taken, I could tell from the logo on the back. "Agent Cullen, your new task is as simple as it is difficult." There was a pause and then the photo came down in front of me. "I want you to murder Miss Isabella Swan."

**Bella POV**

_I'm just a little bit caught in the middle;_

_Life is a maze, and love is a riddle._

_I don't know where to go, I can't do it alone;_

_I've tried and I don't know why…_

_I'm just a little girl lost in the moment;_

_I'm so scared but I don't show it._

_I can't figure it out; it's bringing me down, I know_

_I've got to let it go and just enjoy the show._

I sang into the mike, moving my hand up and down as I did so, losing myself in the music. I loved what I did – why would I do it if I didn't? – but sometimes, I felt lost, and not in the good way. The world was a big place and I didn't understand the fascination a lot of people seemed to have with me; it was scary. That was what had inspired the lyrics to this song. Yes, it was one I had written; unlike a lot of teenage pop stars, I tried to write my own stuff, even if it was rubbish. The down side was that the things I wrote usually tended to reflect my feelings and enough people were trying to grasp at my personal life without having to encourage them.

I kept my eyes shut as I sang, so that I wouldn't have to watch Emmett watching me. Sometimes it was great having him as my agent, but sometimes it was embarrassing, terribly so. And then there were the times when it was downright annoying, like when he got stupidly overprotective and asked a stranger – a freaking _stranger _– to be my bodyguard. Not that I didn't trust Edward implicitly, because I did, but that was so… I didn't know what the word was. Paranoid, maybe? Embarrassing?

Thinking about Edward got me distracted though. I didn't know what to think of him. On the one hand, he was freakishly good looking, and I especially loved his eyes… he was my sparkly-eyed perfect saviour… my hero. Not only that, but something about him made me trust him while feeling sorry for him at the same time… there was something about him, something in his eyes perhaps, that made me think that there were things he didn't want anyone else to know. There was an air about him that seemed secretive, almost… _bad_, but how could someone that saved me from those men be bad?

But, on the other hand, there was the other Edward I had seen. The well-muscled, bad-boy who could take Emmett on any day. The tough guy who you _would_ find in dark alleys. The man that shouldn't have been the one saving me, but instead…

"Bella!" Em's groan lifted me out of my daydream.

"What?" I asked, pulling the headphones down over my neck. The little room seemed oddly quiet now without the melody bleeding into my ears.

"That was the best take yet and you missed a whole line!"

I frowned. "I did? Which one?"

Emmett rolled his eyes. "That doesn't matter." He looked at his watch. "We don't even have time to try it again!"

I looked at the clock on the wall. "Yes we do," I pointed out. "It's only ten thirty."

"Yes, and I've got to meet that Culling dude at eleven," Emmett said, frowning. I could tell that he was still annoyed that Edward had managed to beat him up, and slightly awed. Mind you, so was I. _Nobody_ had ever hit Emmett without hurting themselves, let alone managed to get him in a headlock. Sure, Edward had muscles, but enough to do that?

"Um… Emmett?"

"Yes?"

"It's Cullen," I told him as I exited the little booth and came to his side.

Emmett sighed. "Look, Bells, I don't really give a damn. I just need to talk with him about what he's going to be doing."

"And what _is_ he going to be doing, Emmett?" I demanded angrily. "What do I need? A spy? A stalker? Someone to fight off the press? I don't need that! I can handle the questions myself. Really, it's simple enough."

Emmett sighed as though I was an ignorant child. "Bella. You know as I well as I do that I don't really like, or trust, this _Cullen_ guy, but c'mon Bells. I can't shadow you 24/7 and what happens if there's a repeat of the other night? Your Dad made me promise to look after you, and I can't bear losing you that way. Just let me do this, Bella, please."

I sighed. I hated it when he pulled that one on me. "Fine. But I'm coming to talk to Edward too."

Emmett scowled and then put on a falsely high voice to mimic me. "I'm coming to meet _Edward_ too."

I whacked his arm lightly. "At least I can…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, at least you can get his name right," he said. "Seriously, though, Bells. There's something about that guy… he's… weird."

I thanked the woman that rushed over with my coat and held it out for me. I hated it that I had people practically waiting hands and feet on me; it made me feel uncomfortable. I mean, I could put my coat on myself, couldn't I? "How exactly is he weird, Em? He saved my life!"

Emmett pushed the door open and we walked out into the street, where one lone pap guy stood with a camera. Emmett flipped him the bird and carried on walking. I dithered and mouthed 'sorry' before following Emmett. "That was rude," I chided. "And you didn't answer my question."

"I don't know," he muttered, "he's just weird. There's something about him that doesn't seem… trustworthy…"

I raised an eyebrow at him. "So you offered him a job as a bodyguard?"

Emmett glared at me. "You think you're so smart…"

"Because I am." I smirked at him and he punched my arm lightly. I laughed and punched him back, leading him to push me harder. I tripped and fell and was unable to get back up for shrieking with laughter. Emmett tried to help me back up again but couldn't for laughing.

Thanks to our mucking around, we got to the hotel ten minutes late. I felt awful for keeping Edward waiting, but the person at reception said that no one had been in to see us. Rose said that no one had come to the room either.

Twenty minutes after we got to the hotel room, there was a knock on the door. Emmett and I looked up simultaneously as Alice walked in, beaming. "Hi Bella!" she sang.

"Hey," I sighed, and then I groaned when I saw that she was carrying an almost-suitcase-sized bag that I _knew_ contained make-up and hair stuff.

Alice shot me a stern look. "None of that. Bella, this photo shoot is for the best tween mag in the country. You _have_ to look great, Bells. And I'm your stylist so I do it, okay?"

"Sure, Al, just let me have this meeting first," I said, already dreading the three-hour make-over session that was sure to come.

That stopped her short. "What meeting?" she demanded.

"Um… a meeting with Edward…" I replied, shifting slightly and waiting for the inevitable question.

"Who's Edward?" Yep, there it was.

"Edward is…" I hesitated, not knowing what to say.

"Half an hour late," Emmett growled.

I rolled my eyes. "He helped me last night and Emmett's offered him a job," I summarised, not wanting to go into specifics.

"And he is half an hour late!" Emmett repeated.

Alice ignored Emmett and her eyes narrowed suspiciously at me. "Helped you how?"

That was exactly the question I didn't feel like answering right now. "Um…"

Suddenly, there was a buzz. I leapt up from the sofa and ran to the little electronic box by the door. I held down the button and said, "Yep?"

"Miss Swan?" the receptionist said, her voice ringing out of the metal box and into the room. "There is a man here claiming to have a meeting with you and Mr McCarty. He gave the name of… Mr Cullen?" She spoke cynically, as though she didn't believe that Edward could be here for a meeting with us.

"Yes, yeah. Send him up," I told her. "And it's Bella."

"Of course, Miss Swan." Then she was gone.

I groaned. "Why does everyone persistently call me 'Miss Swan'?"

Alice didn't answer my question. Instead, she cocked an eyebrow at me and said, "Don't be too long with this 'Mr Cullen'. You have to look beautiful, Bella."

I smiled at her sarcastically. "I don't need make up to look beautiful."

Alice laughed. "You don't. But it helps you to look drop dead stunning."

"Three hours of it?" I complained, slumping into an empty sofa, in the vain hope that the stunningly gorgeous green-eyed man would take the seat next to me.

Alice simply raised both her dainty eyebrows and disappeared into my bedroom, just as the knock came on the door. Emmett got up and went to let Edward in. Suddenly, my stomach was full of nervous butterflies at seeing my saviour again. Okay, maybe that was a bit melodramatic, but that man had saved my life and looked like an angel; of course I was nervous. I wrung my hair with my hands, before releasing it except for a few strands, which I twirled round my fingers. I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end as I sensed him come into the room. How did I sense that someone I barely even knew had just entered the room? I had no idea.

Emmett sat down on the sofa opposite me and I didn't look up, praying to every deity that I knew of, that Mr Cullen would sit beside me. But, of course, there was an audible creak, meaning that he had sat on the single armchair next to the sofa I was on. I fiddled with my fingers, and then slowly looked up at him. If it were at all possible, he was even better-looking than the night before.

My eyes started at his feet. They trailed up his jean-clad legs, and then up along his muscled torso, which was easy to see through his skin-tight, black cotton top. He wasn't wearing a jacket, so I could see that the short sleeves of his shirt ended halfway down his muscled arms. His muscles weren't the wiry veiny obvious type, but the lean well-built muscles of someone that worked for them. And, at the end of the sleeve, I noticed something that I hadn't the night before; a thin line of black trailed down his bicep. I squinted, trying to make out what it was, but then his hand came up and tugged on the sleeve. The tight-fit of the top meant that it clearly wasn't going to cover anything, but it was more of a hint. I blushed and my eyes snapped up to his face, surprised at what I saw. Instead of the soft smile that had been on his face the night before, his mouth was set into a hard, unemotional line. His eyes weren't the vibrant green that I had drowned in the night before, when they had been the first thing I saw. They were flat, and uncaring, and devoid of any emotion. I couldn't pull my eyes from his, absolutely astonished at the sudden change in him overnight.

"So…" Emmett said, and Edward's eyes snapped over to him, breaking the connection we had gotten. "Tell us about yourself."

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**I'm back! I am so so sorry for not updating for ages but I wasn't sure where this was going for a while. I had a plot, but then I had a new idea and I was sure that it would make Edward way too OOC so I decided that I might write it as a real story instead but then I realised that I can't let Eddie go, however hard I try ;)**

**Hopefully this chapter has explained some of Edward's motives. Also a few of you fail to see the point of reading when you know what is going to happen. The prologue, as I have said, is NOT THE END. And there are a lot more twists- sometimes things aren't always as they appear to be... ;)**

**So, as of now, this story is going to have a much darker tone to it, a much less fluffy core. I'm not sure about much else yet so I really hope that the rug doesn't get pulled out from under my feet and I end up with no more storyline. It is because of this that I don't know when the next update will be.**

**By the way, I researched CHDs (congenital heart diseases) as much as I could, but I'm not sure about costing because I'm sure it would vary in different hospitals. Also, there is only so much information I can get through Google, especially as each case is so different so I will be using a little creative license here and there ;)**

**Oh and the song used in this chapter is 'The Show' by Lenka, and there is a link to a version of this song on youtube on my profile.**

**Also, I have set up a facebook page for my fanfic account. Feel free to add me as a friend :) The link is on my profile ;)**

**Anways… I hope that you liked this chapter, and that you like this new twist, and thank you all so much for staying with me :D**

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Thanks**

**Steph**


	5. Chapter 4: Fish Food Friday

**AN!!! Sorry if you got 2 emails- I accidentally uploaded the wrong chapter XD**

_I wish I could save you;_

_I wish I could say to you: "I'm not going nowhere."_

_I wish I could say to you "It's gonna be alright."_

_**-Save You, Kelly Clarkson (who I am going to see live in exactly a week! So excited :D)**_

********

**Previously…**

_My eyes started at his feet. They trailed up his jean-clad legs, and then up along his muscled torso, which was easy to see through his skin-tight, black cotton top. He wasn't wearing a jacket, so I could see that the short sleeves of his shirt ended halfway down his muscled arms. His muscles weren't the wiry veiny obvious type, but the lean well-built muscles of someone that worked for them. And, at the end of the sleeve, I noticed something that I hadn't the night before; a thin line of black trailed down his bicep. I squinted, trying to make out what it was, but then his hand came up and tugged on the sleeve. The tight-fit of the top meant that it clearly wasn't going to cover anything, but it was more of a hint. I blushed and my eyes snapped up to his face, surprised at what I saw. Instead of the soft smile that had been on his face the night before, his mouth was set into a hard, unemotional line. His eyes weren't the vibrant green that I had drowned in the night before, when they had been the first thing I saw. They were flat, and uncaring, and devoid of any emotion. I couldn't pull my eyes from his, absolutely astonished at the sudden change in him overnight._

"_So…" Emmett said, and Edward's eyes snapped over to him, breaking the connection we had gotten. "Tell us about yourself."_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 4- Fish Food Friday**

**Edward POV**

It's a strange command: tell us about yourself. But that's what he said. How do you respond to a question like that? How do you answer it with details that are true and seemingly important while, really, the only details I either want to or can give them are completely insignificant? There isn't much to know about me; not much I strive toward, not much I've done. Really, there are only two things that define me: I will do anything for the son I have that no one knows about, and that I am a member of a sort of evil gang. That, less than an hour ago, I agreed to take up 'mission impossible' even though James refused to tell me his motives for wanting the beauty in front of me dead. That the only reasons I am here are because I'm fairly sure that Emmett will pay me upfront while James won't pay me until I've made some sort of active contribution toward his mission, and because it gives me easier access to the girl I love. Ironically the very same girl I have to murder if I want to save my son's life.

Emmett was still staring at me, waiting for a response. One of his dark eyebrows was raised as though he thought my silence meant I was so incompetent that I was unable to answer even the simplest of commands. I could feel _her_ eyes on me too, but I had no desire to meet them. Not when I knew what I had to do to her. It didn't have to be soon, but it had to happen, I knew it. As much as I hated it, I knew it.

"I'm eighteen," I said, my voice breaking the too-long silence. "I lived in Chicago with my parents until they died when I was thirteen, and then I moved in with my uncle here in LA. I graduated from high school last June, and then went to med school. But I dropped out just before Christmas because of… family issues. Since then I've been…" _robbing banks _"hanging around, looking for a job."

"Okay," Emmett said. "Anything else? Anything more personal?"

"Emmett!" Bella hissed.

I ignored her. "I like Bella's music." I finally glanced at her to see her face light up. "I don't watch TV, I haven't been to see a movie since I was thirteen, I don't have a computer, and I have never had a job." I had a feeling that mentioning the recent bank-robbery job would be a little _too_ personal. And telling them about Cody was something that just wasn't going to happen. He was my secret. Nobody knew I had a son except for James, and I liked it that way. Telling people that I had a dying two-week-old son made me feel too… exposed. And I hated sympathy.

"So then why should I – we – hire you?" Emmett questioned.

I sighed. "Because I am motivated, hard-working, I am pretty much willing to stand in the way of a bullet, and – with all due respect bear… Emmett – I am aware that you need to hire me."

His eyes narrowed a little. "Why do you get that impression?"

_Because I know that someone wants Bella Swan dead._ I shrugged. "Just look at what happened last night."

Emmett pondered this for a moment, and then he said, "Are you usually more punctual than you were today?"

I nodded. "I'm sorry about that. I got… caught up."

Bear-man caught my eye then, and in his dark eyes I saw a mutual agreement; he wouldn't ask, and I wouldn't push my luck. Which was fine because I had no intention of doing so anyway. He looked to Bella, as if only just remembering that she was here with us. "What do you think?"

She looked at me and sighed. "I don't need a bodyguard," she said slowly and then she looked back at Emmett, "but if you're going to insist, then I won't accept anyone but Edward."

Bear-man nodded, and looked at me. "When can you start?"

"Whenever. What's the pay?" I asked, getting down to the one thing I was most interested in at the moment.

He thought for a moment and then replied, "$10 an hour."

"$20," Bella corrected.

Emmett looked at her, and sighed. "$15 an hour," he allowed, "between 9 and 5. Anything earlier or later then that is $20. But I expect you to match your schedule to Bella's. Find out the hours she works everyday and you must shadow her everywhere, unless I tell you otherwise, or if she asks you to wait outside."

Bella gaped at him. "Since when did I sign away my freedom?"

He ignored her which, I was coming to realise, was a common occurrence. "It'll be pretty full on." He eyed my muscles and then asked mockingly, "Think you can handle that Cullen?"

I shrugged. "Sure."

He got up from the sofa where he sat and went over to the coffee table by Bella, picking up a flimsy blue folder that was stuffed full of roughly scribbled notes and pulling the one on the top out. He glanced over it and then handed it to Bella. "This is your agenda for next week; I wrote it up last night. Sort it out with him, okay? I have to go make some calls now that we're behind schedule." He shot a lingering glance at me and then headed for the cordless phone.

I turned my attention to Bella who was staring at the paper he had given her, a furrow between her delicate eyebrows. "Tomorrow?! But tomorrow's Saturday!" she said, sounding frustrated. "_And_ I worked last Saturday! You promised that I could have this one off!"

Emmett looked up at her. "I told you, I didn't promise. You know I don't have the power to promise these things. After all, it's not me that wants that meeting tomorrow; it's your record contract. After the meeting you're free to do what you want."

She clenched her jaw, and turned back to her timetable. "What about…?" she started, but then she looked up to see that her burly cousin had left us to it. She sighed, and looked at me, blood flooding her cheeks as the awkwardness I was already feeling set into her as well. "Um…" She stood up and hovered for a moment before heading over to the granite kitchen counter and flicking on the kettle. "Drink?" she offered.

"Coffee, please," I replied. "Black."

She nodded and pulled two mugs out. The kettle clicked then, telling her that it had boiled. That was the fastest damn kettle I had ever seen. Much faster than my crap pot. But, then again, pretty much everything I owned was crap.

A silent moment later, Bella returned to the sofa, this time with a couple of pens and a book of A4 lined paper, the sort you used at high school. She put the steaming mugs down on the now-empty coffee table, and patted the seat next to her. "Care to join me?"

I reluctantly stood and sat down next to her. I didn't know what I was doing, just that I was functioning on autopilot. I wanted to be here, by Bella Swan's side, so badly but any situation would be better than this. She had just let me into her life, practically handed herself to me on a plate, and I could do away with her at any point. But not now. Rash would be bad. Rash meaning killing her while her overbearingly protective cousin is in the next room, and I am the only person who could have even gotten this close. Rash meaning killing her before showing them how trustworthy I could be. I knew James. If I got caught, he wouldn't care as long as he didn't get dragged into it. So I was going to have to be sneaky, I was going to have to think it through. I would have to be Bella's bodyguard to get close enough to do it. Not to mention the money that would get me, and the minor perk of being close to the girl I had fancied since she had become famous about two and a half years back. Or the fact that I wasn't strong enough to do my mission yet. I couldn't take a life, no matter what. And that was why this required thought.

Bella crossed her skinny-jean-clad legs and smoothed the paper down in front of her, before pulling the cap off of the pen and setting her schedule next to the sheet of paper she was preparing to write on. "This is what I'm supposed to be doing next week," she told me, even though I had gathered that. "Do you want me to just write it out exactly the same?"

"Sure, whatever's easiest." I shrugged, leaning forward slightly to read the timetable as she starts to copy it out. The first thing was on Saturday, at noon, and that was the meeting Emmett had mentioned earlier on. Damn, that was within the nine 'til five zone. I scanned the rest of the sheet, surprised to find that the next scheduled thing was 'school'. I raised an eyebrow at her, ignoring the tingling I felt in my bones when her milky chocolate eyes met mine.

"What?" Bella asked innocently.

"School?" I tapped the word on the timetable.

She scowled. "It's not optional, you know. Just because you're famous doesn't mean you can ditch."

"So, what, it's like proper school?"

She shook her head. "No. I go to this place that does tutoring. There is a max of ten people in a class. There're all sorts of classes, like for famous people who can't attend real school, or people with disabilities… I'm in a class of four."

I thought about that for a moment. "Who's in your class?"

To my surprise, she blushed. It was almost as though I had asked the question she didn't want me to ask. "Um… well… Jake, Jacob Black… he's a…"

"Footballer," I inserted with a nod. Then I narrowed my eyes at her a little. "Aren't you two…?"

"No," she growled. "We're friends."

I held my hands up in surrender. "Okay! Just asking." I felt a smile creep on to my face as she blushed again and the corners of her lips pulled up. But I quickly pushed that smile away. I hated the way being around her made me feel. I hated that she had this kind of… voodoo control over me. Just being with her made me feel… almost happy. As though there was something I had to live for. Which would be okay if I didn't have to kill her. If there was something to live for, to look forward to, after all. "Who else?"

Bella grinned. "Alice Brandon. She's my stylist as well, and one of my best friends." She pointed to the door. "She's in the next room ready to pounce on me with a heap of make-up so the longer we spend here, the longer I escape for."

"So the people in your class don't have to be famous?"

"No, just not have enough time to be schooled normally because of a job or circumstances, or something. But my third classmate is Brianna Knight." Her face fell into another scowl as she said Brianna's name.

I felt both of my eyebrows shoot up. "Like 'Brianna or Bella' Brianna Knight?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "Is there another?"

I chuckled. Brianna Knight was Bella's rival for pretty much everything. That was always the question whenever Bella or Brianna did something – which of them would do it better. I had never seen much competition, but the media had bigged it up. "I don't know. It doesn't sound like you get on; is little Miss Swan jealous?" I teased.

"No." She pouted. "I have no problem with her. Her career is her career, and mine is mine. I don't care that the media makes out that we're the worst of rivals and hate each other and stuff, because it's not really true. But Brianna Knight is a bitch. She has something against me, but I don't know what. Whether it's because of my career, I don't know." She shrugged after her little vent.

I turned back to the timetable. "Do I have to escort you to school and back as well? And wait outside?"

She sighed. "You don't _have_ to do anything. But, to answer your question, I have no idea. I sincerely hope not. Brianna would have a field day if I turned up with a babysitter." She made a face and continued to copy up the timetable, including 'school' on my copy even though neither of us knew whether I'd need to know that.

I was silent for a moment, and then I tucked a finger under her chin, and tilted her head toward mine. Heat prickled through our touching skin and I lifted the tip of my finger away from her chin as I whispered, "Babysitter? Is that how you see me?"

She smirked and bent her head closer, too. "You're being paid to look after me, aren't you?"

"Actually, I'm being paid to _protect _you," I corrected her, noticing the closeness of her face, her eyes, her nose, her lips… and instantly drawing back to fix my eyes back on the schedule. I heard her sigh beside me and turn back to her copying up.

The rest of the timetable was pretty much just as I had imagined. In between her numerous inconsistent classes were the things I had been expecting. Interviews, photo shoots, recordings and all that kind of crap. Looking at the timetable as a whole, I realised that Bella barely got any free time at all. It was no wonder that she had complained about having to work on Saturdays. It was all early starts, late finishes and meals on-the-go. I looked down at her hand and watched as she scrawled the words down on the lined paper, her hectic scribble somehow endearing, and then I glanced up at her face. She was chewing on her slightly-too-full bottom lip, a small crease between her brows, and there was a slight shadowing under her eyes. She needed some time off from her busy life. But, then again, don't we all?

**Bella POV**

I could feel his eyes on me but I refused to look up, refused to lose myself in his magnificent eyes for the millionth time. I knew that I was falling hard and fast, but I wouldn't ever admit it. I shifted slightly in my 'hot seat' and Alice sighed. "Bella, how am I going to get anything done if you keep moving around?"

"Sorry," I muttered as she went back to carefully applying glittery-clear polish to my fingernails; she said glittery would go with whatever outfit we chose. Reluctantly I looked up at Edward. "You don't have to stay you know."

"Emmett said that I did," he replied.

"Yes, but Emmett doesn't know what he's talking about," I said. "You must have somewhere better to be that watching me have my nails painted."

Alice laughed. "Oh no, this means that he can spend all day gazing at your beautiful face."

I glared at her, worried that she had offended him, but Edward just chuckled and said, "Got it in one Miss Brandon."

I rolled my eyes. "Are you sure you want to stay?"

"Honestly, there's nowhere else I can go that I want to."

"Fine then, do you want something to eat?"

Alice sighed. "Bella stop flirting and playing at being the perfect host. I'm sure he's fine, and if he's hungry he knows where the kitchen is. Whatever you say is not going to get you out of this."

I blushed. "I'm not flirting!" I defended indignantly, but just ended up sounding very much like a frustrated teenager. Which, technically, I was. "I'm being hospitable. You should try it some time."

"If that's not your flirting then I'd like to see what is," Edward said, his voice deep with unauthorised humour.

Alice laughed. "Now, if that isn't flirting, Mr Cullen, then my name is Lady GaGa."

"Ra ra-ah-ah-ah," Alice and I chorused then, before bursting into a fit of giggles. Every time someone said her name, we just had to do it. It was pretty much automatic now.

"Um…" Edward said while looking at us like we had just told him we were from Mars. "Okay."

Alice finished painting my last fingernail, and then beamed at her work. "Ice cream time!" she squealed.

"Hallelujah." I got up and headed through to the kitchen where I opened the freezer and pulled out the bottom drawer that was full to bursting with cartons of Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Now that stuff was a gift from the Gods. "What flavour is it today Al?"

"It's Friday so it's fish food!" Alice called.

I grinned and grabbed a carton of fish food ice cream and three spoons before heading back into the other room. Alice had cleared up the nail polish and was now hunting through the closet for this afternoon's costume. I sat down on the sofa next to Edward and handed him a spoon, careful of my wet nails, and cracked open the lid of the ice cream. I took a bit on my spoon and passed it to Edward, watching as Alice pulled out a tiny fluorescent pink ruffled dress.

"Next," I ordered, slipping my spoon into my mouth and revelling in the taste.

"Well, I didn't think it was very you, but it's designer Bella…" She pulled the label out the back of the dress. "Look!"

"I said next!" I repeated, taking the ice cream back off of Edward and taking another scoop.

Alice sighed and dumped the showy pink dress on the chair I had been sat in just moments ago. Next, she brought out a pair of mini denim shorts and a baby pink top with an ice cream sundae on the front. She wrinkled her nose. "Bit childish." That went on the chuck pile too without me even having to comment. Which was just as well because there was no way I'd ever wear shorts that short.

The next was a quirky black and white blocked colour dress with striped black and white leggings and a pair of converses. I nodded. "I quite like that."

"Me too," Alice agreed. "That's the maybe pile." She reached back into the closet and drew out a blue dress. "This is the last one." It was knee-length and scoop-necked and really very pretty. But too pretty for me.

I cocked my head to the side. "I think the black and white and converses for this shoot," I said.

"No," Edward spoke up then, forcing the carton of ice cream into my hand and standing up to go and inspect the final dress. "Wear this one."

I stood up too, bringing the ice cream with me as I tripped lightly to his side. "I don't know…"

"Blue's your colour," Edward insisted, turning and looking me in the eye.

I pulled my gaze away from his eyes to look doubtfully at the dress. "It's very… posh. This is only a cover shoot for the interview I'm doing on Monday."

"Trust me," Edward said with a nod. "Bella is blue. No one wears it better."

I smiled at him, ignoring Alice when she raised her eyebrow at me. "Blue it is then. If this gets slated, though, Cullen, be it on your head." I took another mouthful of ice cream and then looked at Alice. "What now?"

She grinned devilishly and gestured to the chair. "Make up."

I sighed and passed the carton to Edward while muttering, "Save me now."

He chuckled in response, but when I glanced into his eyes I saw that they didn't light up and sparkle. They were ghostly, and full of untold, but well-hidden, agony, and that scared me. For a moment, all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him and tell him that everything was going to be okay, like I would with a small child. And, though the moment passed, the feeling that I would never see how truly deep his troubles ran didn't. Because this boy, who held such a strong and manly exterior, was breaking apart on the inside, weak and destitute, and I was going to do everything I could to get rid of the pain in his eyes. No matter what.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Hi again :) So… what are your thoughts? Obviously, the heavy stuff's not coming for a while yet because they have to get to know each other and Bella has to fall in love before anything happens :) But Edward's hiding a shitload of secrets that have to be revealed sooner or later… ;) We may well start calling him secretward and be done with it XD**

**Well, for once, I have like zilch to say so… um… yeah XD I hope that you liked this chapter and I will post more ASAP but I haven't really done much of the next chapter so… I don't know when that will be :S Hopefully soon :D**

**Please review!**

**Thanks**

**Steph**


	6. Chapter 5: Buying Time

**Previously…**

_She grinned devilishly and gestured to the chair. "Make up."_

_I sighed and passed the carton to Edward while muttering, "Save me now."_

_He chuckled in response, but when I glanced into his eyes I saw that they didn't light up and sparkle. They were ghostly, and full of untold, but well-hidden, agony, and that scared me. For a moment, all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him and tell him that everything was going to be okay, like I would with a small child. And, though the moment passed, the feeling that I would never see how truly deep his troubles ran didn't. Because this boy, who held such a strong and manly exterior, was breaking apart on the inside, weak and destitute, and I was going to do everything I could to get rid of the pain in his eyes. No matter what._

********

_I'm not in love. This is not my heart._

_I'm not gonna waste these words about a girl._

_I'm not in love. This is not your song._

_I'm not gonna waste these words about a girl._

_**-About a Girl, The Academy Is**_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 5- Buying Time**

**Edward POV**

I jumped slightly when the door opened and a middle-aged woman slipped into the room, wearing one of the regulation hospital gowns. She shut it behind her, and then turned into the room, tears staining her cheeks. She started when she saw me. "Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't know that…"

"It's fine," I said, looking over at the other clear glass cot in the room. "They told me that you might come."

She nodded, and took the chair by her daughter's side, sliding her glove-covered hand through the hole in the cot and gently stroking the back of the baby's hand. Strictly speaking, this was Cody's room – since I had paid for it – but the doctors had told me when I had come in that morning that there was a baby girl in urgent need of an incubator and they had nowhere else for her to go. Of course I didn't turn her away; I knew what it felt like.

We sat there in silence for a few minutes, and then I asked, "What's her name?"

The woman looked up at me, her hazel eyes watery. "Isobel. She was born last night. How about you?" She gestured toward Cody.

"Cody," I replied, glancing at him and instantly caught under his spell, unable to look away. "He's two weeks and three days old."

I heard Isobel's mother gasp quietly. "Two weeks?"

I nodded solemnly.

"Does… does it ever get any easier?" She hesitated a lot, and I knew that she felt that it wasn't polite to ask the questions she wanted to know the answers to. I didn't care though; there wasn't much etiquette when it came to asking about someone's dying child.

I sighed. "Not really. Especially not with the prices of this place."

"Can't you just… transfer?" she wondered. "To a different hospital, I mean."

"No. Cody can't be moved; he's too fragile. How about you? Why did you come here?"

She shrugged. "It was close. We had the money. It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Yeah, they have a pretty good reputation. It is a good hospital," I said, against my better judgement. "Just… overpriced, that's all." Suddenly I looked up at her. "What's _your_ name?" I had realised that I had asked what her daughter's name was, but not hers.

She smiled as much as she could in the given situation. "Jodie. A little like Cody. What's yours?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but there was a rap at the door and then one of the nurses poked her head in. "Mr Cullen, can I speak to you for a moment please?"

I nodded and stood up, giving Cody one last lingering glance before smiling at Jodie. "Nice to meet you."

"And you, Mr Cullen," she said, nodding at me before turning back to look at her daughter.

I stepped outside.

"We should probably take this into the office," the nurse told me. I vaguely recognised her auburn hair and I knew that I had spoken to her before, but I couldn't remember her name. I rarely bothered to learn the names because, really, I was past caring about that shit now. I followed her down the long white corridors, the smell of bleach and hospitals stinging my nose as I inhaled.

When we got to one of the offices in the hospital, the nurse motioned for me to take a chair and I did, glancing at the clock as I did so. Almost ten o'clock. I had been here for nearly three hours now; it was strange how time passed so fast when you didn't want it to. It was like every day was passing at the blink of an eye now.

"What?" I asked. "What is it?"

She sighed and leant forward across her desk a look of sympathy on her face as she tried – and failed – to attract my attention to her cleavage. "Your son is very ill, Mr Cullen, and Congenital Heart Defects can be fatal to a child this small so…"

"I know," I said through gritted teeth. "Skip the crappy formalities please and just tell me what you're going to do and how much it'll cost."

"Cody will need open heart surgery, and we think it will cost within the region of between $50,000 and up to $100,000. It's not going to be cheap and… well, it's very risky."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. I couldn't afford that even on Bella's pretty generous salary. "How risky? What are his chances?"

There was a pause before she answered. "Your son would have a thirty percent chance of making it through the surgery alive. I'm not going to lie to you, Mr Cullen; even if he does make it through there is still a fairly high chance that he won't survive afterwards. If he makes it through the week after the first surgery then he will have to undergo more surgery which he will have a fifty-fifty chance of surviving we would guess."

I blew a breath out through my teeth. "How many surgeries does he have to have?"

"Three in total, each costing about the same. The third operation should cost slightly less, and he would have a higher chance of survival. In all of the cases of this there have been so far, when a child survives the first six months after the third operation, they live a relatively normal life after that stage."

"Yeah, but how many of them survived compared to those that didn't?" I asked with a sarcastic smile.

The nurse pursed her lips and I knew I didn't want to hear the answer so I said, "And what happens if he doesn't have the surgery?"

She sighed again, a sad sigh. "The doctors say that they've done all that they can for him without operating."

I nodded. "And I can't transfer to somewhere cheaper?"

"Well… we're currently the only hospital in Washington that does this scheme and transferring outside of Washington would be pretty pricey, and very risky." She paused and then added, "Of course, no one will force you to let your son undergo these operations, but it is strongly advised. Unless you are prepared for the worst."

I fiddled with a hangnail as I thought it through. Was I prepared to say goodbye to Cody? I knew that, really, I had to be- either way, I was going to have to. But was I prepared to say goodbye to him knowing that I hadn't bothered to fight for him? That, in not bothering to do anything, I had carelessly sacrificed my own son as well as ensuring that his mother had died in vain?

I didn't have much of a choice. But I couldn't afford three times $50,000, let alone three times $100,000. Unless I did James' mission. If I did that, I would have a pretty unlimited supply of money and Cody would be able to have all of the operations he needed. Could I take one life for another? Kill Bella so that my son would live?

As much as I would love to be able to say that I could never condone doing that, I couldn't. I couldn't lie like that. Like I said, I didn't really have much of a choice.

"I'll think about it," I said after a long, long pause. I didn't meet her eye, but only because I was disgusted with myself; there was nothing to think about. I was just buying time.

***

"Edward!" James greeted me through the phone. The very same phone he had brought for me; it meant that he could call me whenever he wanted to. He had more power over me- he was the player of this game and I was his pawn, to order around as he wished. "And to what do I owe this pleasure?"

I sighed. "I need money."

"I gave you your mission yesterday," James pointed out. "And I'm not giving you any money until you make some kind of active contribution toward it."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and admitted, "I have."

"Oh really?" James didn't sound like he believed me. "What have you done?"

I looked around the park bench I was sat on, checking that no one was within hearing distance. "I got a job as Bella Swan's personal bodyguard," I told him, already regretting it. I had had no intention of telling James about this job since God knew he would take advantage of it in ways that I couldn't. But he wouldn't give me money unless I did something he saw as a positive commitment to himself.

"What?!" James spat; he sounded angry. "You're supposed to be killing her not protecting her!"

"It's an active contribution," I said stonily. "After all, who would suspect the bodyguard?" My tone was bitter; mocking and ironic.

James' silence was contemplative. "You want me to give you money for becoming her bodyguard?"

"I need the money now; Cody needs an operation," I explained in a monotone, trying not to let James know how much this hurt me. Pain was a weakness and if you told anyone, especially James, they would take advantage of it.

"I'm sorry, Edward," James said. "I can't give you anything until I'm sure you're going to follow through. The cash is my motivation, you see."

"I can't just kill her!" I exclaimed angrily. "I have to build up the trust so that they don't even suspect me."

He fell into another contemplative silence. Bastard. Then, after such a long silence that I thought that he had gone, he sighed and said, "Fine. I'm willing to give you twenty-thou upfront for the progress you've made."

"Twenty thousand?" I repeated, not sure whether to be peeved that it was such a small amount compared to the amount I needed, or happy that it was a fair amount. I hesitated and then told him, "I need at least fifty."

James laughed. "Twenty, Edward. I can't offer any more than that."

His careless, nonchalant comment blinded me with fury. "You _can't_ or you _won't_?" I spat into the phone. "This is my son- your great nephew. He will die without the operations, you son of a-" I stopped myself from speaking then. I needed this money and insulting my uncle wouldn't help anything.

I waited, expecting him to yell at me, or lower the offer, or something similar. So I was surprised when he barked out a second laugh. "Ah, the bond between father and son," he said and I could hear the smirk in his tone. "Your father was the same way with you, you know. Willing to give up anything; to _die_ for you."

I held back a string of profanities. How could he be so heartless about his own brother? How could he say that when my father _had_ died?

"That's why I have no intention of having children. Hate them," James told me lazily. "Sticky, disgusting creatures; such drains on your resources. Look at where you are now." He snorted again.

"I'm glad I amuse you," I snarled.

"Edward, I'm not raising it. Twenty-thou, take it or leave it."

I sighed. "When can you get it to me?"

"I'll have it ready for you in my office by tomorrow. Drop by then."

"Okay." And then, against my better judgement, I added, "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Edward. Just make sure you complete this mission. Because if you don't, your son will pay the consequences. After all- it's my money keeping him alive and I'd hate for it to have been given to you when you don't deserve it."

I opened my mouth to argue but he was already gone. I hung up on the dead line and stared at my screensaver- a blurry photo of my little boy. I bit down on my lip hard to stop from crying. And then I looked at the time; it was quarter to eleven. I decided to head over to Bella's hotel even though I would arrive just under an hour early. Because at least her busy lifestyle would be a distraction from my pain.

**Bella POV**

My lungs burned, longing for air. My legs burned as I kicked harder than I ever had before. My arms burned as I stroked stealthily through the water. My eyes burned as the chlorine stung at them.

But I liked the burn. I welcomed it.

The burn was a distraction from _him_.

My fingertips brushed the concrete edge of the hotel's swimming pool and I flipped over underwater and kicked off from the side, starting my sixty-seventh length. The burn continued even when I broke the surface and filled my lungs with fresh air. Cramp invaded my calf but I kept going, kept kicking it, fighting through the pain.

I kept going and going and going, until I felt someone watching me. I grabbed the side of the pool and looked up through my wet eyelashes at my audience. "What do you want?" I gasped at him between breaths.

He sighed. "Don't overwork yourself Bells."

I glared at him. "I'm not a masochist," I said, even though I was starting to wonder about it myself; the burning I fully accepted was contradictory to my statement.

Emmett crouched down by the poolside. "I just don't want you to hurt yourself, Bella. I just care about you."

"You care too bloody much," I grumbled moodily. "I don't need a freaking bodyguard, Em."

"You're not still going on about that are you?"

"Edward has problems of his own; I can tell. He doesn't need mine on his shoulders as well."

"If Edward had problems, _Edward_ would tell us. As it is, _Edward_ doesn't seem to mind too much."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever." And then I kicked back off of the wall again, slipping easily back into my fast-paced front crawl. I kept one ear out of the water so that I could hear when the sound of his footsteps echoed off of the walls, signalling his departure. It only took a minute. Then I slowed my pace and floated miserably on the surface like a piece of driftwood left and forgotten about at sea. Sometimes I wished the world _would_ just forget about me. It would take the pressure off just a little bit.

Just as I was beginning to enjoy the rare moment of peace and quiet, I heard someone squeal my name. I turned over in the water and stood so that I could see Alice come into the pool room, a smile all over her face.

I smiled at her. "Hey, Al," I said, swimming over to the side so I could talk to her. "I thought you were with J today?"

"Nah, he had to work today so I thought I'd come here instead. I was at his last night though." Her expression became dreamy. "Jeez, Bella, you should see the things he can do with his _hands_…"

"TMI alert," I interrupted her before I got any more disturbing mental images than I already did.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Bella, you should find a nice guy. Ooh, speaking of guys… do you fancy dishing on that hottie that you had that meeting with yesterday? Edward, wasn't it?"

I sighed and hauled myself out of the water. "Yeah, there's not really anything to dish. Besides, I thought Jasper was 'the one'?"

"Sheesh, Bella, just because you can't buy doesn't mean you can't look. Anyway, Rose said he helped you out or something so it sounds like there's some stuff you can dish."

I grabbed my towel off of the side and wrapped it around my waist, tying it into place at my hips before pulling the band out of my hair and raking my fingers through my chlorine-infested locks. "Yeah, these guys were… harassing me and Edward beat them up so Em offered him a job as my bodyguard. No biggie."

Alice let out a low whistle. "Bella, he totally fancies you."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"He likes you, duh. Why do I have to spell these things out to you?"

"Maybe because you're wrong?" I suggested, wringing my hair out.

"Ugh, I am _so_ not wrong," Alice disagreed, watching as I slipped my feet into my flip-flops and then following me when I headed for the door of the pool room. "He totally had the hots for you."

We walked along the corridor toward my room together and I frowned at her. "I dunno, Al. Besides, you know Emmett. He won't let me date anyone, especially not someone like Edward."

"Do _you_ like him?" Alice questioned.

I sighed. Whenever I thought of him, my pulse rocketed, whenever I saw him my knees went weak and whenever his skin accidentally brushed mine my stomach churned with longing. Did I like him? There was really only one answer to that question. "I dunno, Al," I said again.

"I think he'd be good for you."

I bit my lip and unlocked my room, stepping inside and leaving Alice to close the door behind her. "He's… different," I said after a long pause.

"How so?"

"I don't know," I admitted. "I can just tell. There's this look in his eyes; something about the way he presents himself… he's hurting, Alice. I can't take advantage of that."

"No," she agreed, "but you can make it better."

I smiled. "Thanks for the advice, but I think I'm okay at the moment." I glanced at the clock- ten thirty. "Would you mind popping down to the shops to pick up that dress you ordered for me? After all, it _was_ you that wanted me to wear it to this meeting. Seriously, who wears dresses to a meeting?"

"It's hardly a cocktail dress," Alice pointed out. "Besides, dresses look good on you. They accentuate your brilliant figure and posture, and if you pick the right one it makes you look drop-dead gorgeous."

"Whatever," I muttered. "I'm going to shower."

"Ohmigosh! I've had an idea; I'll get your dress!" she exclaimed.

I smirked at her. "No shit Sherlock."

"Hey, I have a higher IQ than Lady GaGa."

"Ra-ra-ah-ah-ah," we chorused. Then I shot her a look. "How do you know Lady GaGa's IQ?"

"It can't be very high, can it? I mean, _hello, _she wore a telephone on her head."

I laughed. "Sure. Have fun picking up the dress." I wandered into the bathroom and shut the door before she could start telling me about all of Lady GaGa's fashion blunders. With a sigh, I switched on the water and dropped the towel before stripping and stepping into the hot spray.

Of course I then spent my entire shower fantasising about Edward. Jeez, I needed to get a grip. I had met him a grand total of two days ago and he already had me obsessing over him.

Once the dull burn in my muscles had completely subsided, my legs were freshly shaven and my hair was clean, I shut off the water and stepped out of the shower. I wrapped a long towel around my body and a little one around my head before exiting the bathroom and wandering through to my bedroom. I hummed quietly to myself as I dried off, pulling my favourite lacey midnight blue matching bra and panties on and then leaving it at that since Alice hadn't returned with the dress yet.

Just then, I heard the door to my suite open and shut. I grabbed up my towel and took it back to the bathroom, hanging it on the hook behind the door. I glanced at myself in the misted-up mirror as I called, "Hey, Alice, this dress isn't too… revealing is it?" Then I pushed the door open again and wandered out into my lounge/kitchen. I went over to the kitchen counter and turned the kettle on, still just in my underwear. "Coffee?" I offered, pulling a couple of mugs out of the cupboard as I knew that she'd reply with her usual de-caf order.

So I was surprised when she didn't reply.

I smiled. "Cat got your tongue, Ali…?" I trailed off when I turned round and saw that the person in my suite wasn't Alice. I gaped at him, frozen in shock for a moment. Then I flushed bright crimson and stuttered, "E…Edward. What are you doing here?"

He looked away awkwardly, avoiding both my gaze and looking at my almost-naked body. "The woman at reception told me to… uh… come on up?" His statement was said like a question.

My blush deepened, but I couldn't force my body to move. Eventually, I squeaked out a tiny apology and stumbled back through to my bedroom. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a tank top, hauling them on over the top of my scanty underwear. Then I rushed back out of the room, knocking something over on my way as I always did. I hesitated by the door and looked at Edward. "Can we just forget that ever happened?"

He nodded, dazed.

I smiled and went back over to the kitchen counter, just as the kettle finished boiling. "So… coffee?"

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**:S I'm sorry again for the not-updating thing. But I have been totally inspired with this story now and already have half of the next chapter written :) I'm very excited about it now, and will hopefully be able to update more often now that I've finished THWTLAL.**

**Buuut as I said in my AN for THWTLAL, I have a lot of stories on the go and I have my GCSEs (major exams) coming up in about 8 weeks time. I have a poll on my profile asking which of the three stories I have on the go you would most like to be updated because I may have to leave off the updates for a while so that I can revise :S So please go and vote on the poll :D**

**I just got my New Moon DVD and duuudee… its totally awesome :D But have you noticed that in the special features behind the scenes stuff, Rob drinks a whole HEAP of coffee? Lol it's like 'Cut' COFFEE :L:L:L Ah he makes me lol. I have to say, though, that I was very disappointed that only Chris Weitz and some other dude whose name I've already forgotten are doing the audio commentary :( I loved Rob and Kristen's commentary on Twilight… well, okay I loved Rob's XD I mean "cheeseburgers"- that is just epic XD I'm sorry if you don't know what I'm going on about; I'm a little hyper at the moment XD**

**And that is why I will shut up for now :) But, because I'm so nice, I'll chuck in a sneak peek of the next chapter ;)**

**(EPOV):**

_Bella was still gathering up her notepad and sheets of paper. Her pencil was balanced on her ear, holding her hair out of her eyes._

_I smiled and reached for the pencil, pulling it swiftly from her ear and letting her hair fall over her face._

_She looked up at me, shaking her long fringe out of her face. She smiled. "Can I help you?"_

_I shrugged. "I just wanted your pencil."_

_She rolled her eyes. "You guys are all the same. Always wanting something you can't have." She poked her tongue out at me as she stole her pencil back and held it up, showing it to me. "You can't have this."_

_I blinked for a moment; was she flirting with me? But I quickly smoothed it over. "Fine," I said without too much emotion. "Hurry up, I probably have to walk you to your car."_

_She scowled. "You know, I don't get why they don't just superglue me to your side and be done with it. I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself! What, they think that there's some guy waiting outside with a machete or something?!"_

**Aww poor little Brokenward ;) So what did you think of the chapter then guys? ;)**

**Please review!**

**Thanks**

**Steph**


	7. Chapter 6: Forbidden Land of Magic

**Previously…**

_My blush deepened, but I couldn't force my body to move. Eventually, I squeaked out a tiny apology and stumbled back through to my bedroom. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a tank top, hauling them on over the top of my scanty underwear. Then I rushed back out of the room, knocking something over on my way as I always did. I hesitated by the door and looked at Edward. "Can we just forget that ever happened?"_

_He nodded, dazed._

_I smiled and went back over to the kitchen counter, just as the kettle finished boiling. "So… coffee?"_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 6- Forbidden Land of Magic**

**Edward POV**

I watched as her little pink tongue flicked out and twirled around the eraser on the end of her pencil. She closed her mouth then and sucked on the end thoughtfully. I lifted my eyes to hers and – not unlike a magnet attracted to another – her gorgeous chocolatey eyes looked up at me and connected with mine. She smiled slightly and her cheeks flushed slightly before she looked away. When she was no longer watching, I raked my eyes down her body, remembering how she looked _underneath_ the clothes. God… that was a mistake.

I shifted slightly in my seat, wondering whether it was possible to die from boredom. I glanced at the clock- only four minutes left. But the second hand ticked at the speed of a turtle; impossibly slow. I sighed quietly and listened to the guy drone on and on about how important it was for Bella to make an impact on more than just her teen audience. I felt sorry for her. I could just sit here and ignore the crap that rolled off of these guys' tongues, but she had to know everything that they were saying because it really was her problem. She couldn't ignore it when they were talking because they were talking about _her_.

Finally, finally, the meeting ended and people started to clear out of the room. I remained in my seat while Bella did four seats to my left. Then, when she stood, I did too, picking up my empty disposable coffee cup as I did.

"Told you it'd be boring," Bella sighed when I got to her side. She was still gathering up her notepad and sheets of paper. Her pencil was balanced on her ear, holding her hair out of her eyes.

I smiled and reached for the pencil, pulling it swiftly from her ear and letting her hair fall over her face.

She looked up at me, shaking her long fringe out of her face. She smiled. "Can I help you?"

I shrugged. "I just wanted your pencil."

She rolled her eyes. "You guys are all the same. Always wanting something you can't have." She poked her tongue out at me as she stole her pencil back and held it up, showing it to me. "You can't have this."

I blinked for a moment; was she _flirting_ with me? But I quickly smoothed it over. "Fine," I said without too much emotion. "Hurry up; I probably have to walk you to your car."

She scowled. "You know, I don't get why they don't just superglue me to your side and be done with it. I'm perfectly capable of looking after myself! What, they think that there's some guy waiting outside with a machete or something?!"

I chuckled as she lifted up her sheets and notepad. Then I held out my arms. "Here, let me take them."

She glared at me. "And now I'm not capable of carrying a few pieces of paper? Whatever." She stalked out of the door and along the long corridor.

I followed after her. "I didn't mean it like _that_. I was being nice; gentlemanly. It's how I was raised."

She sighed as we exited the main entrance to the building. Thankfully, the outside was paparazzi-free. "Yeah, well, I'm happy carrying my own…" She was interrupted by her phone ringing in the pocket of her jeans. She stood still for a long moment, looking as though she were debating whether to give up on her argument and pass me her things so she could answer, or ignore the phone. I raised an eyebrow at her.

She sighed again and said, "Take these, please."

I grinned and took the things off of her. "My pleasure."

"What, Alice?" she asked as soon as she answered her phone. Ah, the hyperactive girl who had not stopped talking all morning while forcing Bella into that gorgeous casual blue dress.

Bella paused for a moment listening to her friend. Then she rolled her eyes. "Alice, it's fine. Honestly, go with Jasper. I'll… see it some other time." She paused again. "Stop apologising! It's fine. I understand- it _is_ Valentines Day. Look, I'll just have a nice relaxing afternoon; how many of those do I get? Besides, Jazz has got the tickets." Another pause. "Yes. Sure. Okay, see you tomorrow." Then she hung up and turned to me. She held out her arms. "Can I have my things back?"

"It's alright, I'll carry them," I said with a smirk.

Her face was a picture. She slid her phone back in her pocket and crossed her arms stubbornly. "You know, I _did_ like you. Note the emphasis on the past tense. Now you're just as eager to undermine me as everyone else."

I laughed- a real laugh. And then I froze as the realisation hit me. When was the last time I had laughed? Truly, really laughed. I couldn't remember. Definitely not in the last two and a half weeks since Cody had been born. Definitely not since_ she_ had turned up on our doorstep nearly three months ago, six months pregnant and crying. Probably not since my parents had died almost six years ago. I stared at Bella, wondering what it was about her that could make me _laugh_. What she had said hadn't even been that funny, but still I had laughed.

She sensed my watching her then, and turned to look at me. Her eyes wandered over my face and then her expression softened. She took a step closer to me and put her tiny hand on my muscled shoulder. "What?" she asked softly. "What is it?"

"Nothing," I said flatly looking away from her intense gaze.

"Was it something I said?" she whispered.

I reluctantly looked back at her, into her eyes. How many times had I looked into those eyes in a photo and dreamt of being this close to her? I sighed. "It's nothing for you to worry about." I decided to change the subject. "What did Alice want?"

Bella bit her lip, obviously knowing that I wanted to let this thing go but not knowing whether dropping the subject would be a good idea. Eventually she blew a breath out between her teeth and answered my question. "Just to tell me that Jasper offered to take her out for dinner this evening and bought tickets to go see a film we were going to see together this afternoon. It doesn't really matter." She let her hand fall from my shoulder and she shrugged.

"I'm sorry about that," I said.

"Nah, it's okay. I should have guessed really. I mean, what with it being V-day and all." She peered up at me. "That being said, don't you have some pretty blonde girl you're going to take out for a nice romantic dinner?" Was I imagining the hint of bitterness in her tone?

I snorted at that idea, but decided to play around with her for a bit. "No. I don't go for blondes."

"You know I was asking whether you were going anywhere, not what colour hair this bi… girl has." Her cheeks reddened after she caught herself.

I felt a smile play at my lips. "What makes you think I'd date a bitch?"

"I didn't say that." She was automatically defensive.

"You were going to."

"Was not." She pouted like a child.

"Were too," I argued. "But that is irrelevant because there isn't a bitch, or a girl, or any kind of female company at all."

She quirked a brow, looking surprised. "You're gay?"

I rolled my eyes. "No. I just… keep to myself."

She rolled her weight back on to her other foot contemplatively. "So what you're saying… is that there is no girl, no guy and no candlelit dinner?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying."

"That surprises me," she admitted after a small pause. "You seem like that… that _type_ to me."

"What type?"

She shrugged as though she regretted getting into this conversation already. "You know… the kinda guy who is… eager to please and very… romantic and… ah, I dunno. I watch too many romantic comedies," she said with a blush.

"Hmm. I don't think I've ever seen one," I confessed.

She gaped at me. "You've _never seen_ a rom-com?!"

"No…" I replied slowly. "I haven't seen a movie since I was thirteen. Well… not really." I remembered the films James had liked to watch while I was a teenager but I hadn't stuck around for longer than the opening scene where all of the innocent people got shot. Those films were just about killing, killing and more killing. Just like James.

"Wow," Bella muttered. She cocked her head to the side and stared at me for a minute, as though she were planning something.

I shuffled uncomfortably under her scrutinising look. "What?"

"Well… how would you feel about coming to the movies with me?" she asked hesitantly. "Alice bailed and you… well, you're in need of seeing a rom-com. Besides, we're both lonely on V-day and… well… why not?"

I looked at the floor. "I can't," I said quietly. Not because I didn't want to go – of course I wanted to go! – but simply because every cent I owned had to go to Cody.

"Okay." Bella sounded disappointed. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have presumed…" She trailed off.

I shut my eyes when I realised that my reluctance to come would have offended her. "No, no, I'd love to come," I said quickly in an attempt to put her straight, opening my eyes again so I could look at her. "I just… I need the money. I can't blow it on a film."

She looked back up at me, hope in her eyes. "Really? You want to come?"

"Yeah, but…"

"I'll pay!" she interrupted.

"I'm not a charity case," I said icily. This was why I didn't tell anyone about Cody; I hated the sympathy, the thoughts that I couldn't cope by myself.

Bella bit her lip thoughtfully. "But if I went to the cinema… well, I need my bodyguard in case someone comes to me with that machete don't I?" She grinned mischievously.

And then I said, "Fine." Because, hell, this was a chance to spend time with Bella Swan and I wasn't going to throw it away.

She smiled, and took the things out of my arms while I wasn't on alert to snatch them back. Then she dashed to the car, dropped the notepad and papers on the backseat and said something to the driver before shutting the door again and loping back to my side, slipping her little hand into mine and beaming at me. "Let's go watch us some soppy romance," she said.

**Bella POV**

In the two and a half hours we spent in the dark cinema **(AN- theatre) **I spent more time watching the man beside me than the story unfolding on the screen. He seemed uncomfortable, fidgeting a lot as though he should be somewhere else. As time passed, though, he became more and more absorbed with the film; slowly relaxing.

When he glanced at me and saw me watching him, I smiled slightly and looked at the screen, not wanting him to think I'd been staring- even though I had. I watched the people move about on the screen but my brain was elsewhere; wondering what could possibly have happened to Edward to make him so uneasy about… well, about everything. I remembered the haunted look in his eyes just a few hours earlier when he had laughed. What on earth could he have experienced to put that depth of pain in his eyes?

I was so busy thinking that I didn't notice that the credits were rolling until Edward nudged me and murmured, "It's finished right?"

I blinked at the screen and then nodded. "Uh… yeah. Yeah, it's finished. What did you think?"

He stood up taking his jacket off of the arm of the chair he had been sat in. "It was good," he said vacantly. "I had a good time. Thank you."

I smiled as we walked out into the cinema foyer. "I'm glad." I glanced at him and then said hesitantly, "Why haven't you seen any movies in so long?"

He looked down for a moment as he slipped his arms into the sleeves of his black jacket/coat/thing. Then he sighed and looked back up at me. "I…" he started, but he didn't get to finish.

"Excuse me?" a girl's voice came from behind me.

I knew where this was going. I rolled my eyes at Edward and slowly turned round. "Um… yes?"

"Are you… Bella Swan?" the girl asked. She had long mahogany coloured hair and big unblinking green eyes.

I smiled politely at her. "Uh… yep."

"Would you mind signing this for me please?" she held out her cinema ticket and a blue biro pen.

"Sure," I replied easily, hitching my bag further up my shoulder and taking the pen off of the girl. "What's your name?"

"Amelie," the girl told me.

I scrawled a quick 'to Amelie, best wishes Bella' on the ticket and handed it back to her with a smile. "There you go."

"Thank you," she said with transparent awe. "It was nice meeting you."

I nodded. "You too." And then I gave her a little wave and turned back to Edward, taking his arm and practically pulling him out of the double doors.

"That was nice of you," he commented once we were outside.

"Mmm," I agreed vaguely. "What am I supposed to say? No?"

He smiled. "Guess not."

We walked down the road in silence for a bit. It was twilight; when it wasn't dark, but it wasn't light anymore either. I wasn't really sure where we were heading since the most sensible thing to do would be to call a car or hail a taxi since the hotel was miles away, but I was content just walking arm in arm with Edward for now.

"Do you ever… just wish that the world would leave you alone?" Edward asked after a while.

I sighed. "All the time." I looked up at him. "It's hard, you know. To be so… so… just… ah, I don't know. Sometimes you just wish that you could have a moment away from the real world you know?"

He nodded, looking blankly into the distance. "Yeah. I know."

"You can trust me you know," I whispered.

He smiled slightly. "Yeah," he repeated. "I know." He broke out of his little trance and looked down at me with a slight furrow between his eyebrows. "Do _you_ trust _me_?"

I thought about that for a second. I had met this man two days ago but already I felt like I had known him my whole life. He was secretive, yes, and shy, and perhaps a little intimidating… but I trusted him with my life. "Yes," I whispered, probably too intensely. "Yes, I trust you."

The corner of his mouth twitched, but it wasn't a happy smile. It was bitter; disappointed. "You shouldn't," he said so quietly that I barely heard it.

"Why not?" I demanded, steering us both off of the main road and down a side path that went down to the public gardens. There was no one along this path and, when Edward didn't reply, it was silent apart from for the rushing of the water in the stream.

"Edward?" I asked. "Why don't you think I should trust you?"

He abruptly stopped walking, pulling me to a stop with him. "Look at me, Bella."

I looked at him.

"Do I look like the sort of person you can trust?" he questioned. "Do I look like the sort of person you can hand your life to on a plate?"

I looked at him for a long time, noting the intimidating black clothes he wore, the way he was stood menacingly, the muscles that wrapped around his torso visible even through his clothes. He was right; he didn't look like the stereotypical trustworthy guy. But then I looked up at his face where I only saw compassion mingled with a little pain. I took a step closer to him, pulled toward him by some invisible force. I lay my hand flat against his arm. "You just look like Edward," I said. "And I trust Edward."

He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut. "Don't."

"You're my bodyguard," I pointed out. "If I can't trust you, then I can't trust that you'll keep me alive."

He sighed. "Look, Bella, I shouldn't have taken that job. I'm in with the wrong people and I don't know how I can get out. I'm in too far and now you trust me and that's… not right."

His statement made something pang inside my chest and it made me angry. "Of course it's right! Are you saying that my instincts are screwing me over? Because I've always listened to my instincts in the past and they've always been right."

"What do you _instincts_ say right now?" Sarcasm dripped off of his tongue, and that hurt for some reason.

I glared at him. "My instincts _were_ saying that you're hurting. They were telling me to let you in because you need someone right now, Edward; I can tell. My instincts told me to trust you so that's what I did. But now they're telling me that I should walk myself home since you're being a cruel bastard!"

He sighed. "Such a nasty word coming from such a pretty mouth." He touched my top lip with the pad of his index finger, making me tingle all over. "If I had any sense I'd tell you to screw your job, or at least give it to someone else."

"Do you have any sense?" I whispered, longing for the answer to be no.

Edward looked down the path toward the public gardens and I followed his gaze. I had always loved the gardens. All year round they were in full bloom, the colours lighting up the outdoors, and the relaxing sound of the rushing water making you forget all of your troubles. Now, in the dim evening light, everything was slowly turning black and white and it was like a forbidden land of magic.

I looked back up at Edward, still waiting for his reply. I reached out and touched his cheek.

His smouldering green eyes darted back to my face and he hesitantly reached around my body and pulled me into a gentle hug. "I don't know," he said into my hair. "I guess I'm going to fuck sensibility right now."

I felt a bubble of hope rise within me and I had an awful feeling that I knew what I was hoping for. And why I was hoping for it. "So you'll keep the job?"

Edward nodded against my head. "For now."

And I stayed there, revelling in his embrace for a long time. Where our bodies touched it felt as though there was a spark there. The cloth barriers may well have not been there. My stomach churned with longing and I rested my head in the crook between his shoulder and neck, inhaling his delicious scent. His arms around me felt protective, and I wondered why he felt that I shouldn't be able to trust him. Because, sure, he didn't _look_ like the most trustworthy type, but you could never judge a book by its cover.

The bubble of hope remained in my chest and I knew that it was already too late to stop myself from falling for the unattainable. Because I knew that I had a connection with Edward that I had never had with anyone before. And I wasn't sure what love was exactly – I couldn't define it – but I had always believed in love at first sight. And I was pretty sure that the moment I had looked into his gorgeous green eyes for the first time, I had started my descent. And this scared me.

Because what was the use in falling if there wasn't going to be anyone at the bottom waiting to catch you?

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Lol I can just tell that everyone's going to go 'no they can't fall in love yet!' like the total opposite to THWTLAL but… well, this story is going to take the 'love at first sight' course because… well, I believe that it's possible and it's an interesting thing with this plotline.**

**And why Edward's sudden mood change? Ah well, you'll find out in the next chapter, won't you? ;)**

**In case you haven't noticed already, I'm going to try and follow Twilight a little more here- with Edward being dangerous and Bella being attracted to the danger kind of thing ;) Ah it's all good, eh? Lol**

**I have to admit that this story was the one I expected I would be stopping when I come to do my exams because I was so stuck on it but now I am absolutely in love with it :D I've done my structured little plan and know exactly where it's going and I'm EXCITED :D lol. So yeah even though this is getting the lowest amount of votes on my poll and reviews in general (though flipping heck 316 is freaking awesome- thank you guys :)), I don't think I'm gonna stop :) So good news for you guys ;)**

**Um… I'm actually really tired at the moment so… it's gonna be a short AN again :S I'm starting to worry about myself… XD**

**Next update will either be tomorrow (! I know!) or Friday. PROBABLY Friday if I'm honest but it's still only three days away ;)**

**Please review!**

**Thank you :)**

**Steph**


	8. 7: A Picture's Worth A Thousand Words

**Previously…**

_And I stayed there, revelling in his embrace for a long time. Where our bodies touched it felt as though there was a spark there. The cloth barriers may well have not been there. My stomach churned with longing and I rested my head in the crook between his shoulder and neck, inhaling his delicious scent. His arms around me felt protective, and I wondered why he felt that I shouldn't be able to trust him. Because, sure, he didn't look like the most trustworthy type, but you could never judge a book by its cover._

_The bubble of hope remained in my chest and I knew that it was already too late to stop myself from falling for the unattainable. Because I knew that I had a connection with Edward that I had never had with anyone before. And I wasn't sure what love was exactly – I couldn't define it – but I had always believed in love at first sight. And I was pretty sure that the moment I had looked into his gorgeous green eyes for the first time, I had started my descent. And this scared me._

_Because what was the use in falling if there wasn't going to be anyone at the bottom waiting to catch you?_

********

_But as I'm waiting in, the devil on my shoulder stares,_

_Laughing at the one thing I can't get, it's what I need._

_She… she is the words that I can't find;_

_How can the only thing that's killing me make me feel so alive?_

_And I couldn't speak; I couldn't breathe to save my life;_

_All of my chances swim like a sinking ship._

_This time it's it;_

_I'll drown or make her mine._

_**-She (For Liz) by Parachute**_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 7- A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words**

**Edward POV**

My head hurt.

I didn't know what to do anymore.

I couldn't believe that I had thought that I could do this.

I couldn't believe that I had even considered exchanging Bella's life for Cody's.

The film had really opened my eyes. Watching the characters in love had explained so many of my emotions. And then, after the film, when Bella had signed that autograph I had realised how truly good she was. She was so nice to everyone, even those that didn't deserve it. Even to me. _Especially_ to me. It was in that moment that I had realised that I liked Bella too much. Just the thought of _anyone_ harming her conjured a dull ache in my chest. And that was why I was in far too deep.

Because I _didn't have a choice_.

I had to do James' mission. How else was I going to help Cody? That was why I had to quit this job as her bodyguard. Spending time with her wouldn't help anyone- it would just hurt me even more when I came to hurt her, and it would hurt her more when I told her that I was always going to kill her, right from the start. But, God dammit! I _couldn't_ quit. The thought of not being close to Bella after _one fucking day_ was too painful to bear.

This was beyond insanity. I had met her two days ago, known her for one- if that. And she already had this stupid _hold_ over me. It was almost the same as Cody. I didn't have a choice. I had to see her; she was like a drug.

I lay on my sofa-bed with my head propped on my hands, staring at the dingy ceiling. I jumped a little when my alarm went off and I smacked it with my fist, effectively silencing it. I sighed; I hadn't slept all night thanks to my million thoughts.

I could already hear the couple next door fighting about whose turn it was to do the washing up. They were always fighting about something pathetic. I hated them for the single reason that they could afford to be annoyed at washing up. They had it so fucking easy.

I sat up and ran my fingers through my messy hair, letting the thin white sheet fall off of my bare chest. My phone buzzed then and I grabbed it, hoping_ hoping_ that it would be her. It wasn't. Of course not.

"Hello?" I answered blearily.

"Edward," James crowed. "How's it going?"

I decided to cut to the chase; James didn't do social calls. "What do you want?"

"I was just calling to tell you that your cash is ready for you to pick up. And…" He paused.

"What?"

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to drop by this afternoon, when you've finished working of course, and make some arrangements?" he offered.

That instantly made me suspicious. "What kind of arrangements?"

"Well, I'm aware that you're in need of some money. Yesterday, I had to… dispose of… Felix. He had a lot of small jobs coming up; small but still worth doing for the money," he hinted.

"And you want me to take his jobs?" I guessed, trying not to wonder what he meant by 'dispose of'.

James sighed. "Well, I can give them to Aro, but I thought that you'd like the money?"

Aro was James' right-hand man. He did all the dirties. "Yeah," I said after a moment's thought. "I'll drop round later."

"Good, good," James said thoughtfully. "Well, I suppose I should go."

"Okay, goodbye." I went to hang up but James stopped me.

"Oh and Edward?"

"Yeah?"

James chuckled darkly. "You might want to stop by a newsagents on your way to work."

My brow furrowed in confusion. "What…?" But he had gone; and I wouldn't have time to stop anywhere on my way to Bella's.

I sighed in annoyance at his cryptic little clues and swung my legs out of bed. I went through to the closet-sized bathroom and splashed my face with cold water. Then I changed into the clothes I had left on a heap on the floor and shoved my phone into the pocket of my black jeans. I glanced at myself in the cracked mirror, running my hand through the disarray I called hair and undoing the top button of my black button-up shirt. I grabbed my coat off of the hook on the back of the door and left my apartment.

***

"Just a second!" Bella called when I knocked on the door of her hotel suite. The lady at reception had given me a pass now so I could get through whenever I flashed it at anyone which was pretty awesome.

I rolled my weight on to my back leg, butterflies already gathering in the pit of my stomach at the thought of seeing her again after the previous evening's… chat.

Then she pulled the door open and waved me inside hurriedly. I stepped in and she pushed the door shut behind me, dashing through to her bedroom. Today she was wearing much more sensible clothes than that dress; a pair of blue jeans and a baby pink top with a cupcake on the front and the word 'yum' across her chest in black. It was kind of childish but absolutely adorable and so… _Bella_.

I followed her through to her room where she was manically chucking things into a blue messenger bag. "Running a bit late?" I teased.

"My stupid alarm didn't go off!" she huffed. She threw a pencil case into the bag and then straightened up and looked at me. "Can… can you drive?"

"Yeah," I replied slowly, remembering when James had taught me how to drive when I had turned sixteen. I doubted that James' teaching was the most reliable even though I had passed the test with flying colours. "But I don't have a car," I added. "Why?"

"Well, I was talking to Emmett last night," she said turning back to her back and slinging the strap over her shoulder, "and he said that if you have to be with me at all times you may well drive me places too. Since hiring a bodyguard _and _a driver is pretty pointless."

I felt my brow furrow. "So now your cousin expects me to be able to drive that limo-thing?"

"No," Bella replied. "He got you a different car. It's right outside."

I stared at her. "You bought me a car?"

"Well… um… essentially it's for your work but… yeah. You can have it. Petrol and that stuff is funded by Emmett."

I hesitated. "I dunno if I can accept…"

She shut me up with a look. "Yes. You can."

I sighed and caught the keys she chucked me. I looked down at the key ring attached to the keys: Volvo. Huh. Apparently the safest cars in the world; that figured. I looked back up at Bella who was watching me cautiously. "You ready?"

She nodded. "Yup."

"Let's go then." I followed her out of the door and down the stairs. We went out of the main entrance and, right outside, was a sleek, shiny, brand new silver Volvo hatchback. Fucking hell it was a nice car. I blinked for a moment, and then pressed the button on the set of keys. The Volvo's lights twinkled in reply. "Wow," I breathed.

Bella quirked a brow at me. "Super," she said sarcastically. She grabbed my arm and pushed me round to the driver's side, before hopping into the passenger seat. I opened the door – paying close attention to the suction of the door as you opened it – and slid onto the smooth leather seat. The door shut quietly when I pulled it and I felt myself getting as excited as a small boy over a new toy.

Bella watched me like I was insane. "Jeez," she muttered. "Anyone would think you were in love with the bloody _car_."

"I think I am," I confessed.

Bella laughed. "Oh for God's sake. Just drive, Cullen."

"Yes, Ma'am." I obeyed, sticking the key in the ignition and twisting it. The engine purred to life and the wheel buzzed in my hands. This was bloody brilliant.

***

"Thanks for the lift," Bella said when I parked outside of the little building that was her school.

I rolled my eyes. "Kinda my job," I reminded her.

She shrugged. "I know. But thanks anyway."

"Well, then, you're welcome."

She opened her door and started to get out.

I leant forward and said, "Wait, Bella."

She turned back and her face was almost unbearably close to mine. I could feel her suddenly short, sharp breaths across my face and her lips were stupidly close to mine. I was suddenly overcome with the strongest urge to kiss her. So I pulled back. Naturally. "Have fun," I murmured.

She was frozen for a split second and then blood rushed up to colour her cheeks and she ducked her chin and muttered, "Yeah. Um… I'll see you at twelve?"

"Sure. I'll be just out here if you need me," I reminded her.

She smirked then. "I'm going to school, Edward, not walking into a war zone. I think I'll be just fine." And then, to my surprise, she blew me a kiss and wiggled her fingers before pushing the door shut and walking toward the building, her messenger bag bouncing off of her hip.

I stared after her until she was long gone, and then I sighed. I supposed I may as well entertain myself while Bella was in school and I started the engine up again and decided to go for a drive around the roads close to the school. So that was how I ended up weaving through the back streets of Los Angeles.

I had completely forgotten James' comment about newsagents until I drove past one. I had nothing better to do, so I parked the car on the curb and went in. At first, I wondered why James had said that, but then I turned and looked at the newspaper shelf and saw the photo on the front of every bloody tabloid in the store.

"What the fuck?" I hissed under my breath, going over and taking a paper in my hand. The heading on almost every tabloid was a variation of the bold lettering on the front of the one in my hands- which read: _Jacob Black's girlfriend scores away from home_. Yeah, and underneath the heading was a huge blown-up grainy photo of Bella in my arms in the public gardens. I stared at the picture, wondering how on earth these reporters had jumped to that conclusion. Then I let my eyes trail down to the start of the article:

"_This photo, taken by reader and Black fan, Alyson McBride, shows little Miss Isabella Swan displaying her true feelings for her boyfriend- the LA footballer, Jacob Black. Alyson told us exclusively that she saw Bella snuggling up to this mystery man…_

"Hey!" the owner of the newsagents called from the desk. "This is a shop, not a library."

I sighed and took the paper to the desk. This was something I had to buy and seventy cents wasn't going to make much of a difference.

The guy glanced at the front cover and then up at me and then he smirked as he scanned it through. "Ah, I see." He read the first paragraph. "Mystery man, eh?"

"This is a shop, not a library," I snapped his earlier words back at him.

"Ooh, touchy." The guy sneered. He put the paper in the bag and took my money. "Have fun reading… unless you're too busy making out with Bella Swan." He guffawed at himself even though he was really the farthest thing from funny.

I rolled my eyes and took the bag off of him before heading back to my car. Ha- _my_ car. Then I pulled the paper out of the bag and went back to reading:

_Alyson told us exclusively that she saw Bella snuggling up to this mystery man, who nobody can name, at about half past seven last night in the public gardens. "She was looking at him like they were the only two people in the world. They were whispering in each others ears and laughing and smiling," Alyson says. "Both were very openly affectionate when they thought that they were out of the public eye; she ran her hands all over his arms and shoulders and he was touching her lips and kissing her head every now and then. They were all over each other and looked very much in love."_

_Now this eyewitness account conjures up a lot of questions for those people who are fans of 'Belcob', as Bella Swan and Jacob Black have been nicknamed, such as- why did Bella spend Valentines Day with another man? How much does Jacob know about this? Is Bella simply trying to make Jacob jealous after his alleged love for her rival Brianna Knight- who the young couple share private tuition with?_

_One thing's for sure, and that's that all is not well in the land of Belcob for as long as Miss Swan continues to waver in her decision-making over whether to date the buff footie star or this mystery man._

_Check out the website for daily updates on Bella Swan and Jacob Black. Just go to /256493_BellaSwan or /394729_JacobBlack for your daily news!_

I screwed the paper up in my hand, disgusted. _Touching her lips and kissing her head_. As if. And now Bella was in class with Jacob Black and he had no doubt seen this, or at least heard about it. I didn't even know if they were dating or not… What would he think? Would he believe the lies? I sighed and started the engine again deciding to head back to the school just in case.

**Bella POV**

The moment I was round the corner and out of his sight, I released a shaky breath and leant against the brick wall, my knees wobbling like jelly. How in hell's name did he _do_ that? He just had to lean forward and look into my eyes and I'd be dazzled past walking straight. I couldn't let someone have this much control over me!

I stayed leant against the wall for a long moment. I would probably be late if I stayed here for much longer but I couldn't find it in myself to care. Besides, staying out here for one minute longer would buy me a minute more away from Brianna. But then I heard footsteps. I sighed and looked up as someone rounded the corner and then blew out a sigh of relief when I met Jake's familiar almost-black eyes. "Hey," I said with a weak smile.

He smiled back. "Hi." Then he looked at my backed-against-the-wall position and quirked a brow. "Um… what are you doing?"

"Nothing," I answered.

He didn't look like he believed me. "Riiight," he said slowly. Then he gestured for the door. "Shall we?"

I nodded and let him lead the way into the building.

"Did you have a good weekend?" Jacob asked as we walked down the long, empty corridor that smelt like disinfectant.

"Yeah, it was okay. Pretty uneventful," I lied. Yeah. I had almost been killed, acquired a bodyguard and pretty much fallen in love with said bodyguard all in three days.

"What's this I hear about you cheating on me?" Jake teased.

I looked at him, cold instantly running through my veins. "What do you mean?"

"Oh." Jake's face went a little red under his russet-coloured skin. "You haven't seen the tabloids today?"

"Oh hell. What are they saying now?" I asked as we walked through the door into our classroom. Brianna and Alice were already there.

Brianna smiled at me sweetly and waved a newspaper in the air. "Who's the 'mystery man' then Bella?"

I frowned and went over snatching the paper out of her hands and then gaping at the photo on the front. I scanned the text with my eyes.

"What is it?" Alice asked, coming over as well.

I raised my eyebrows and read aloud: "'B_oth were very openly affectionate when they thought that they were out of the public eye; she ran her hands all over his arms and shoulders and he was touching her lips and kissing her head every now and then'." _I looked up at Alice. "What the hell? That is complete shit!"

Alice took the paper off of me and her eyebrows shot up as well. She frowned and looked at me. "Are you sure?" She tapped the photo. "Because a picture is worth one thousand words and that picture's pretty convincing."

I glared at her. "Alice, that's Edward! Why would we be _kissing_?!"

She sent me a look that clearly said: _and why would you be snuggled up like this_?

I sighed and flopped into my usual seat. "Those reporters are out to make my life hell, I swear."

Jake laughed and fell into the seat next to me, taking the newspaper out of Alice's hands and reading through it. He laughed again, a deep throaty sound. "'_This photo, taken by reader and Black fan, Alyson McBride, shows little Miss Isabella Swan displaying her true feelings for her boyfriend- the LA footballer, Jacob Black.'_ I'd like to tell that Alyson a thing or two," he joked. Then he threw the paper down on the desk. "Don't worry about it, Bella. If they want to believe this crap, then they can; at least we know better."

I sighed and nodded, not wanting to admit that I didn't care about what people thought about me. I was just worried that Edward would be stalked by the paparazzi like I was so frequently. If I was ever going to unlock the secrets he held so close, I could do without the paps trailing us all the bloody time.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Argh I'm so sorry I didn't update on Friday :( But I completely forgot I was going out and then yesterday I discovered the fanfic 'A Rough Start' and got so caught up in it that I… well, I didn't update okay? :S It's in my favourites and is absolutely amazing- check it out :) Or on second thoughts… if you start reading that then you'll probably forget all about lil old me XD Haha, seriously though- that girl has talent :)**

**Anyways… what do you think of this chapter? I have to admit that with every bloody word I write I fall more and more in love with 'brokenward' as he has been nicknamed. He is just adorable and I adore writing from his POV :)**

**(Btw the magazine in this chapter is made up, as are the websites. I don't know if they are real and I don't claim to own them blah blah blah)**

**To the anonymous reviewer 1901TeamEdward1918 no, your guess wasn't quite right ;) There were bits here and there that are slightly correct but whenever I write a story, I try to throw things in that are unexpected so… hopefully no one could guess how it's going to play out exactly XD I'd probably be a little annoyed if anyone did lol. And you will be finding out who Cody's Mum is later on in the story- don't worry though. I promise that she's not going to cause any problems with their relationship developing. The love-triangle thing is often a little overused so I'm gonna try and steer it in another direction.**

**But now to everyone who is doubting Edward (and I think I've said this before)- but the prologue is **_**not what it seems**_**. I can't say anymore because that would ruin it, but have a little more faith in both Edward and me please :) I just had to reiterate that little fact ;)**

**Oh and because I feel so bad about not updating when I said I would, I will give you a little sneak peek of the next chapter :)**

**(EPOV):**

_Emmett sighed. "I just don't trust him."_

_I remembered Edward and I's conversation the night before about trust and looked away. Edward had thought that I shouldn't trust him either. But I couldn't help it if every bone in my body felt that he was good. There wasn't the shadow of a doubt in my mind that said that he wasn't a good person. Just because he had been through a lot didn't mean that he was evil._

"_Plus, look at what the tabloids said," Emmett added._

_I raised an eyebrow at him. "The tabloids are full of crap; everyone knows that. Look, Em, nothing you say is going to change my mind."_

"_Would you really drop your career just to get a guy inside the studio?" Emmett questioned._

_That caught me. If I didn't know that I'd be able to get around my 'brother' would I be putting him in this position? Would I be compromising everything just to get him in out of the cold? I knew that the honest answer would be no if we were just talking about coming into the studio. But I think that Emmett and I both knew that, in letting Edward into the studio, we were effectively letting him into my life. And I knew that I'd rather die than let him walk away. "Yes," I said steadily._

**That'll be up probably on Tuesday. If I can get a lot of writing done this afternoon, then it might be up tomorrow… we'll see :)**

**Please review!**

**Thanks**

**Steph**


	9. Chapter 8: Seize the Moment

**Previously…**

_I sighed and flopped into my usual seat. "Those reporters are out to make my life hell, I swear."_

_Jake laughed and fell into the seat next to me, taking the newspaper out of Alice's hands and reading through it. He laughed again, a deep throaty sound. "'This photo, taken by reader and Black fan, Alyson McBride, shows little Miss Isabella Swan displaying her true feelings for her boyfriend- the LA footballer, Jacob Black.' I'd like to tell that Alyson a thing or two," he joked. Then he threw the paper down on the desk. "Don't worry about it, Bella. If they want to believe this crap, then they can; at least we know better."_

_I sighed and nodded, not wanting to admit that I didn't care about what people thought about me. I was just worried that Edward would be stalked by the paparazzi like I was so frequently. If I was ever going to unlock the secrets he held so close, I could do without the paps trailing us all the bloody time._

********

_You found me when no one else was looking._

_How did you know just where I would be?_

_Yeah, you broke through all of my confusion._

_The ups and the downs and you still didn't leave._

_I guess that you saw what nobody could see;_

_You found me._

_**-You Found Me, Kelly Clarkson**_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 8- Seize the Moment**

**Edward POV**

I hadn't intended to fall asleep with my head on the steering wheel. I had meant to stick around for a bit until I was sure that Bella wasn't going to get any trouble from her 'boyfriend' and then go and see Cody. But the fatigue had taken over and the heated seats were more comfortable than my spring-filled mattress. Bella had woken me up when she opened the door behind mine at noon.

"What?" The quiet sound of the door woke me up in that way when you jolt awake with a shock.

Bella smiled softly as she put her messenger bag in the foot-well. "How long have you been out?"

I blinked and rubbed my eyes. "Um…" I glanced at the clock in the dashboard and then back at her wearily. "Three hours? Closer to four?"

She leant forward in her seat. "You look awful," she murmured.

"Huh. Thanks." I sighed and looked back in front of me; a sharp pain twinged in my neck. "Ouch!"

"What is it?" Bella asked worriedly.

"Nothing. I just slept at a strange angle," I replied.

Almost instantly, her little hands were on my shoulders. She sighed, restricted by the head rest, and then her hands were gone.

"What are you doing?" I questioned without looking back.

Then she pulled the head rest out of the socket and the heel of her right hand pressed against the back of my neck. "Hold still," she whispered. "I know how to fix this."

I groaned as she rubbed at the sore joints, pressing in all the right places. Then the car fell silent, apart from the sounds of our breathing; hers deep and relaxing and mine shallow and breathy. After a moment I felt her hands hesitate and heard her breath catch in her throat but her fingers continued to probe the muscles in my neck.

"What is it?" I asked quietly, reaching back and holding her hands in place so that I could look back at her.

She bit her lip and gestured to the passenger seat. "I'm so sorry." She ducked her head, ashamed.

Confused, I looked over at the seat and saw what she was talking about. I glanced back at her. "Why are you sorry?"

She reached over and grabbed the paper. "Because now every bloody reporter in the world is going to be hunting down my 'mystery man'." She jabbed the page, infuriated. Then she sighed and looked up at me. "I don't want that for you."

"It's fine," I blew it off. "If they want to believe that crap then they can."

Bella smiled slightly. "That's exactly what Jacob said."

"So he's fine with it?" I asked and then instantly backtracked. "I mean, not that 'it' actually was anything…"

Bella quirked an eyebrow at me. "Edward, I _told_ you; we're just friends. He couldn't care less who I go out with."

"Oh." Now she said it, I did remember her telling me that. "I'm sorry."

She rolled her eyes and flopped back in the chair, slotting the head rest back into place.

"Don't you want to sit here?" I wondered, moving the plastic bag off of the passenger seat for her.

She thought about it for a second, and then squeezed through the gap between the front two seats and fell into the passenger seat with a giggle. She composed herself and sat up straight, snapping her belt into place. "Drive, Cullen, drive!" she commanded.

"Where to?"

That stumped her. "Well… I don't have to be at the hotel for that interview for another forty-five minutes so… do you want to get a coffee? There's a good Starbucks just around the corner."

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "You girls and your coffee."

"Yeah, caffeine keeps us awake; maybe you should take a leaf out of our books," she teased.

"Maybe I will," I murmured as I started the car and followed her directions to Starbucks.

Ten minutes later we were sat at the table in the corner – out of the public eye – with our drinks. I had a black coffee and she a cappuccino; frothy and girly. We were silent, me watching people go up to the desk which was just within my view. Some were happy, some were sad, some were pissed off. Some in a hurry, some taking it slow, some wanted a cappuccino without the chocolate and others wanted white coffee without milk. A lot of them wanted chocolate sprinkles on their hot chocolates; three didn't go for marshmallows. Some dressed in business suits collecting the office lunch-time coffee order, some in slacks grabbing a coffee on their day off, some in jeans and a button-up shirt; they were the hardest to work out.

After a long time of people-watching, I felt eyes on me. I looked over at Bella to see her watching me avidly. "What are you doing?" she asked when she had my attention.

I shrugged. "Watching the world pass by."

"You look like you do that a lot," she observed.

"Mmm." A vague agreement. "Here we are, taking a break from everything, but life still goes on. It never stops until you die. Not even when you're asleep." I sighed and traced the rim of my cup. "Somewhere there's always someone doing everything. Someone working, someone sleeping, someone laughing, someone crying, someone being born, someone dying, someone falling sick, someone else getting better… it's all happening. All the time."

Bella was silent for a moment. Then she asked quietly, "How old are you?"

I glanced up at her. "Eighteen. Why?"

"You don't act like someone who's eighteen."

I shrugged. "I've put up with a lot of crap."

"I'll bet," she mumbled.

I looked out of the tinted window next to us instead. "Look," I said pointing out of the window at a woman passing by. "Everywhere you look, there's someone doing something. Feeling something. And you know what most people feel? Angry. Or sad. Or self-pitying. Not many people feel happy. Why not? Why can't they be happy? Who cares that the laundry guy ironed a crease in your best trousers? Who cares that a bird shit on your new handbag? Who really gives a damn that your cat died? Nobody. Nobody gives a flying fuck about anything but themselves anymore." I knew I should shut up before I offended her, or scared her, but I couldn't control myself. "Why can't they just be happy? They don't know what it's like to be so furious you could kill someone. Or so sad that they can't even cry. They don't need to pity themselves because they forgot to take the chicken out of the freezer for dinner, or they forgot their umbrella and got a bit wet. They don't _know what it's like_." I clenched my jaw and fisted my hands as I stared down at the table, shaking with rage. They didn't know what it was like to be on the cusp of losing everything, even when you had nothing.

Bella didn't say anything and I wasn't surprised. I had probably scared her shitless. Good. Then she could fire me and I'd have one thing less to worry about. Then I could just get rid of her and save Cody.

But then, a small warm hand covered mine. I looked up in shock to see that Bella's warm chocolate-coloured eyes had glossed over and I realised that she was far from being scared of me; she felt _sorry_ for me. Holy fuck this girl was backwards.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I wish I could make it better."

I laughed once, a bitter sarcastic snort. "So do I."

**Bella POV**

"_Keep holding on;_

'_Cos you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through._

_Just stay strong;_

'_Cos you know I'm here for you, I'm…"_

I ripped the headphones off.

Emmett sighed. "Jeez, what now?"

"I really think Edward should come in," I said, biting anxiously on my lip.

"Bella, he said he's happy in his car, and I'm happy to leave him there," he said. "It's where he belongs."

I put the headphones down on the desk and stalked out of the box room. "I don't care where you're damn happy to leave him. It's freezing out there and this is not fair. I'm not singing another word until you let him in."

"But he might…"

"Emmett, he's not going to leak the music on the internet!" I shrieked. "How is it going to be in his interest to do _that_?!"

Emmett glared at me. I stared him down.

Eventually he sighed and said, "I'm worried about you Bella; that guy's having an affect on you quicker than chocolate bribery did when you were seven… and that caught on pretty damn fast."

I blushed. "So? He's a nice guy and he's my friend. I'll treat him the same as I would Alice; and there's no way in hell I'd let you leave Alice out in the cold."

"But… I just don't trust him."

I remembered Edward and I's conversation the night before about trust and looked away. Edward had thought that I shouldn't trust him either. But I couldn't help it if every bone in my body felt that he was good. There wasn't the shadow of a doubt in my mind that said that he wasn't a good person. Just because he had been through a lot didn't mean that he was evil.

"Plus, look at what the tabloids said," Emmett added.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "The tabloids are full of crap; everyone knows that. Look, Em, nothing you say is going to change my mind."

"Would you really drop your career just to get a guy inside the studio?" Emmett questioned.

That caught me. If I didn't know that I'd be able to get around my 'brother' would I be putting myself in this position? Would I be compromising everything just to get Edward in out of the cold? I knew that the honest answer would be no if we were just talking about coming into the studio. But I think that Emmett and I both knew that, in letting Edward into the studio, we were effectively letting him into my life. And I knew that I'd rather die than let him walk away. "Yes," I said steadily.

My burly cousin looked me up and down. Then he sighed again and made a shooing motion with his hand. "Fine. Go get him. But we only have the studio for another hour so make it snappy."

I felt a smile stretching from ear to ear light up my face as I turned away from Emmett and walked down the long corridor as fast as I could. I burst through the doors and dashed to the car, but stopped short a few feet away when I saw that he was curled over himself with his head on the wheel, like he had been when I had come out of school earlier. But when I got closer I saw his face and realised that he wasn't sleeping; he was in pain. I felt a gasp pass my lips and I went over and pulled the door open.

Edward started and looked up at me, smoothing his face over. "What? What is it?"

"Are you okay?" I asked, panicked.

"Yes," he replied slowly. "Why?"

"You can come inside," I told him.

He smiled slightly and then shook his head. "I'm okay out here."

"Please?"

He smirked for some reason, and shook his head again. I frowned. I didn't want to stand over him so I perched on the edge of his seat, taking him by surprise.

"What are you doing?" he demanded, moving away slightly.

I rested my head on his shoulder and said, "I didn't just argue your case for you to reject me."

"You argued for me?" He sounded entertained.

"Of course. I don't want to leave you out here in the cold."

Edward sighed. "Bella, I'm not cold. It's warmer in this car than in my apartment."

I laughed, thinking he was joking. But when he didn't laugh with me, I wondered if he meant it. "Where _do_ you live?"

"Hey, we can play twenty questions another day. Don't you have songs to be singing?"

Twenty questions. I hated that game. But with Edward… it was suddenly stupidly appealing. "Yes, but I can't concentrate with you out here. Please, just come in."

He looked at me, an entertained glint in his eye. "Do you want me to come in because you want me to come in or is this an ego thing now?"

I blushed. "A little bit of both," I admitted.

"Fine," he gave in. "Can't have your ego suffering now, can we?"

I pouted but got out of the car all the same, reaching back to help him out too. He took my hand and locked the car before following me back to the door and into the building. Security merely nodded at me and didn't give Edward a second glance.

"So… this is what the inside is like then?" he asked me.

His hand was still inside mine and where our skin touched it felt like there was an electric current passing through. My hand tingled all the way down to my fingers and my bones buzzed. I shivered. "Yeah. Not so different from the outside, is it?"

He raised an eyebrow at me; we both knew that we weren't talking literally anymore. "Depends what bits of the outside you've seen, doesn't it?"

"You never did tell me where you live," I mused.

He rolled his eyes, but his mouth stayed clamped shut.

"You know, twenty questions isn't such a bad idea," I said as we got closer to the studio. "I feel like I don't know who you are."

"Do you have to know who I am?"

"I'd like to know who's protecting me, yes."

He stopped and tugged me to a halt too. "You do know me," he said softly.

"No," I replied, looking back at him. I moved closer so we were almost nose to nose, and then I breathed, "No, I don't."

Edward opened his mouth to say something in response, but a door opened down the corridor and we sprung apart as Emmett came out and waved at me. "Hurry up!"

I rolled my eyes and smiled at Edward, trying to lighten the mood. Then, I took his hand back and led him down the corridor and into the studio. "You okay to stand here with Emmett?" I asked him quietly.

"Where else's he gonna go?" Emmett snapped impatiently.

Edward's mouth twitched, like he was trying not to smile, and he nodded. "Sure, Bella, that's fine." He spoke directly to me, not turning his body toward Emmett. I got the feeling that he was _trying_ to wind him up; that it was a game to him. I sent him a warning with my eyes, and then turned and stepped into the little booth.

I went over to the mike, tilting it to be the right height, and fitted the headphones back over my ears. Then I watched through the soundproof glass as Emmett fiddled with the equalisers. I glanced up at Edward, who gave me a thumbs up before gesturing to his ears and mouthing 'very sexy'.

I blushed and giggled into the mike, earning myself a glare from Emmett as I messed up his controls. I looked away, ashamed and tapped my foot softly against the floor until Emmett's voice leaked into my headphones. "Ready?"

I nodded, and held my hands over my ears. I watched the light above the door as it turned red and then I waited for the melody. When it started to bleed lightly into my ears, I let my eyes pass over Emmett in front of me as I waited out the introduction. Every time we did this, I got nervous. I didn't doubt my ability to do it, but sometimes it felt like the pressure was piled on me for perfection. The butterflies went away, though, when my eyes met the gorgeous dazzling emeralds that were Edward's eyes. I felt a light smile play at my lips, and when I opened my mouth and started to sing from the start again, I knew that I was singing to him; only him.

_You're not alone; together we stand._

_I'll be by your side; you know I'll take your hand._

_When it gets cold and it feels like the end,_

_There's no place to go; you know I won't give in._

_No, I won't give in._

_Keep holding on;_

'_Cos you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through._

_Just stay strong;_

'_Cos you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you._

_There's nothing you can say; nothing you can do._

_There's another way when it comes to the truth so_

_Keep holding on;_

_Cos you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through._

***

I was humming to myself as I pulled a brush through my newly-washed hair that night when there was a knock at my door. I glanced at the clock – which read 11pm – and frowned before going to open the door.

"Emmett?" I asked, confused to see him standing outside my door. "What's up?"

He sighed. "Bella, I want to talk to you."

I eyed him cautiously. "What about?"

"It won't take long," he promised, avoiding both my gaze and my question.

"What about?" I repeated.

"About Edward," he admitted.

I rolled my eyes; I had known this was coming. Ever since I had sung every song given to me note-perfectly just by meeting his eyes. Since he had been the first person I had gone to when I came out of the recording booth to see if it sounded okay. Since I had hugged him goodbye and had a hard time pulling away – not that I had shown that, obviously. "Can't it wait 'til tomorrow?"

"It won't take long," Emmett said again. "Please let me in?"

I sighed and stood aside, letting him into my suite. "What about Edward?" I asked as he led the way through to the living area.

"I just… wanna know what's going on with you guys," he said, turning to face me.

"Nothing," I said honestly. "You hired him, I put up with it." Yeah… that wasn't so honest.

Emmett sighed, like a parent that knew their child was lying to them. "Bella, I can see that you like him."

I felt my cheeks go red. "Em, I don't know him."

"No," he agreed, "you don't. Look. You know that I know that you're stubborn. I know that nothing I say will stop you doing – or feeling – what you want to. But I just want to… warn you. I don't think he's good for you Bella."

"As you've said numerous times," I pointed out, trying not to sound like a whiny teenager.

Emmett heard my grouchy tone. "Bella," he sighed, knowing that I was going to 'go off on one'.

Well, I wasn't going to disappoint. "What, Emmett, makes someone good, then? Jake wasn't good, Edward's not good… who _is_ good?"

He suddenly looked sheepish. "Nobody?" he suggested and then backtracked when I glared at him. "I know that you want to date and stuff but… don't you think it's better to focus on your career at the moment?"

"I can multitask," I snapped. "When the right person comes along, I'm not going to let them walk into my life and then straight out of it again without a fight."

I felt my burly cousin's gaze appraise me. "You think Cullen's 'the one' don't you?" He rolled his eyes and muttered something about 'Alice' and 'influencing' and 'girly crap'.

I felt my cheeks heat up again. "I don't know." I looked at him, my brow furrowed. "Don't you think that Rose is your 'one'?"

Emmett rolled his eyes. "I love her, yes."

I perched on the edge of the sofa and fiddled with the sleeve of my jumper. "How do you know you love her?"

Emmett came and sat next to me. "Because… well, I don't want anything bad to happen to her. Because I can't bear to see her unhappy and I… I don't know _how_ I know, I just do."

I sighed and nodded. You just _know_- that's what everyone said. So why couldn't I work out exactly how I felt about anything at the moment? Was I the only person in the world that was confused by their own feelings? I bet Edward could control his emotions better than this. But then I remembered his rant earlier and the pain on his face when I had found him in the car… was that controlling his emotions? He was broken, I knew that, but was he _that_ broken?

Emmett hugged me then. "You'll figure it out, Bells. Just… be careful, right?"

I smiled slightly and gave a small nod, waving when he said goodbye and headed for the door. Be careful, be careful, be careful. If I had a dollar for the number of times he had ever said that… I'd be a millionaire. What did being careful get you anyway? Nothing.

Maybe now was the time to start living a little. Maybe now was the time to seize the moment and not let Edward slip through my fingers. Maybe now was the time to let myself fall.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Well… what did you think of that chapter then? :) Bless them lol. Oh, the song I used in this chapter is 'Keep Holding On' from Glee :) Obviously it wasn't originally by Glee but I'm not sure who the original original was by. There are links on my profile to the Glee version and the Avril Lavigne version. I don't know if there are any others :S But yeah I was listening to the Glee one personally ;)**

**So… a few of you have been asking about Jasper and Rosalie. Obviously they are in it, but not majorly. The major characters in this story are going to be Bella, Edward, Emmett and Alice. Of the Cullens, I mean ;)**

**Those of you that read **_**Foundation of Memories**_** will know that I'm miles ahead chapter-wise with this story :) Before anyone asks, I'm not posting it all quickly because I'm hoping to build up a nice lot of chapters to post when I have to get down to revising for my GCSEs. Anyways, I'm a few chapters ahead and I just want to warn you that Edward has a pretty… colourful vocabulary ;) Yeah, the language really gets pretty bad and there are a fair few references and that kind of thing in future chapters. Just a warning to the young readers out there, and those that don't like language. I'm not gonna change the rating, but lets say that 'T' really does mean teenager for this. NO KIDS.**

**Um… I think that's everything I had to say :)**

**Please review! I have an aim now. Can we get past 500 reviews by chapter 10? Well, including chapter 10 so before chapter 11 really. There are so few reviews compared to the number of hits :S I accept anonymous reviews too btw guys ;) Smiley faces are fine lol. I think we're pushing it a bit but you guys have already proven to me that you are the best readers ever so I trust you can do it ;)**

**Thank you all so much :D**

**Steph**


	10. Chapter 9: You're Never Alone

**Previously…**

_Emmett hugged me then. "You'll figure it out, Bells. Just… be careful, right?"_

_I smiled slightly and gave a small nod, waving when he said goodbye and headed for the door. Be careful, be careful, be careful. If I had a dollar for the number of times he had ever said that… I'd be a millionaire. What did being careful get you anyway? Nothing._

_Maybe now was the time to start living a little. Maybe now was the time to seize the moment and not let Edward slip through my fingers. Maybe now was the time to let myself fall._

********

_Why do you do this to me?_

_Why do you do this so easily?_

_You make it hard to smile because you make it hard to breathe._

_Why do you do this to me?_

_**-Why, Secondhand Serenade**_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 9- You're Never Alone**

**Edward POV**

James was busy talking to someone else when I got to his office on my way home from the studio, so I thought about Bella as I sat in the waiting area.

It was strange how watching Bella sing had felt so… normal. If just a month ago I had been in that same position, it would have taken all I had not to run into that booth and hump her leg like an animal, especially with the sex-me-please eyes she was making at me. I don't _think_ that was intentional on her part. They were probably just her normal eyes and my mind interpreted it differently. But watching her sing had just made me feel… proud. And it made my heart thump unevenly and a warm flush spread up my neck, but I think that went without saying.

I sighed and looked over at the reception desk where Gianna was reading a magazine under the desk oh-so-subtly. I rolled my eyes and coughed into my hand to hide a laugh. Gianna must have heard me because she jumped slightly and looked up at me. Her almond-shaped eyes blinked once at me and then she smiled politely. "Good afternoon Mr Cullen."

"Gianna," I greeted her back.

There was a moment of silence and then, "Er… Mr Cullen?"

I looked up. "Mmm?"

Gianna held up her magazine. "Is this you?"

I ground my teeth together when I saw that same photo of Bella and I. "Yes."

"Why were you with Bella Swan?"

I sighed impatiently. "Look, Gianna, isn't that kinda my business and not really yours?"

She frowned, her blue eyes narrowing slightly. "I guess so but…"

Thankfully, the door opened then and James came out, interrupting our conversation. He was accompanied by an older man in his fifties with a leather jacket on, his greasy hair pulled back in a ponytail, trying to make himself look younger as he always did. Said it got him more girls, the pathetic twat.

"Aro," I greeted him stonily and then turned to my uncle. "James."

James smiled. "Ah, Edward!" Why did the git always look so happy to see me? He hadn't been this interested when he had gotten custardy of me five years ago when my parents had died.

"Can we make this meeting quick?" I asked, ignoring Aro and Gianna.

"Of course," James said with a smarmy grin. I fought back a shudder.

"Why, you going off to meet up with your _girlfriend_?" Aro taunted.

I gritted my teeth together and didn't rise to the bait. "She's not my girlfriend."

Aro continued to dangle it in my face. "Are you sure? You looked pretty taken with her on the front cover of the tabloids. And everyone knows she's a nasty little slut."

That did it. The emotions in me snapped and I leapt at Aro, clenching my fist and smacking him right on the nose.

"You little shit!" he roared, hitting back at me.

I had youth on my side though, and easily ducked his punches before kneeing him in the balls.

Aro fell to the floor with a groan and James rolled his eyes. "Cullen, in my office. Aro, I'll see you this evening. Don't be late." Then he beckoned me into his office, emphasising his instruction.

I smirked at the old man on the floor before going on into James' office. I took the seat across from the desk, trying not to remember the last time I had sat in this seat, as James sat in his own chair.

"Those were some good punches you got in there, Edward," James commented, unsurprisingly. James wasn't bothered with fighting. Throughout my teenage years, he had actually encouraged it- as far as complimenting me when I got suspended from school for a week when my temper snapped. Having been brought up by my parents – whose attitudes were the polar opposite – I hadn't wanted to fight with anyone and had been horrified with my uncharacteristic outburst, no matter what James said.

After he had seen the damage I had done to the other kid in that one fight in freshman year, he had taught me how to fight properly; how to defend and how to attack. For the majority of my youth, I had been under the impression that he was teaching me in case I ever needed to defend myself. How wrong I was.

I wasn't stupid; I had known what was going on with James' little gang. I had just chosen to ignore it, knowing that as soon as I was eighteen I would hightail it out of James and Victoria's 'care' and go to med school. When James had finally admitted just a week or so before my eighteenth that he had been training me up all along so that I could 'join him' I had been disgusted. How ironic that my escaping from him had inadvertently been the cause of me becoming trapped in his twisted little games.

I merely grunted in response to his comment, and leant back in the chair. "What were the jobs you had to offer?"

James bent down and sifted through a pile of papers in a drawer. Then he drew out an A4-sized folder full of papers and passed it to me. I opened it and looked at the first sheet, which had a list of names on it, and 'confidential' watermarked on top. I flicked my eyes over some of the unfamiliar names and then looked back up at James. "What about them?"

"These people are all of the people that currently owe me money in this state," James told me. "Felix _was_ my debt-collector because he has the biggest muscles and looks the most threatening. But he betrayed me and was disposed of."

I shuddered at those words again.

James didn't notice. Or at least he pretended not to. "I want you to go round and find them, and get the money back for me. You can have two thousand per debt you collect, plus any bonuses I give you on top of that."

I glanced down at the sheet of paper, my eyes glossing over some of the amounts and I let out a low whistle. Some of the debts were huge, but that didn't affect what I got out of it. I would have to do a lot to get a decent amount of money. I looked back up at James. "How much and how often are the bonuses?"

James shrugged. "It'll vary. At least a thousand per bonus. Maximum of five. It'll probably be about two thou per bonus and you'll probably get… what, one per day? If you want the bonuses, bring me the money, not excuses as to why it's not here."

I sighed; it was generous. If I went after one of these people per day, it'd get me $2,000 from each debt and then plus the two thousand bonus would be about $4,000 per day. That was four times what I was getting from Bella and Emmett per week. I did the maths in my head. $4,000 per weekday plus the thousand per week from the bodyguard job would get me about $21,000 per week. Still not enough. But a lot more than $1,000.

"And Edward?" James spoke up then, while I was still calculating.

"Yeah?"

"I know the difficulties you're having with Cody, and I've had a quick look through my accounts and I think I can spare five thousand per week to go towards his medical care."

I stared at my uncle. Where had this sudden generosity come from?

He laughed at my expression. "Come now, Edward," he said. "If your son is anywhere near as good as you are, he'll earn me a lot of money one day."

I wasn't aware that I was on my feet until I heard my chair hit the floor with a loud bang and I was leaning over James' desk, fury blinding me and making me see everything through a film of red as I shook with rage. "You are _never_ roping my son into this. _Ever_."

James just laughed at my consuming anger. "Okay. The offer still stands."

"I mean it," I hissed. "As soon as Cody's better, I'm taking him and we're getting out of here. Then I never want anything to do with you and your _games_," I spat.

James quirked a brow. "We'll see. Do you want the jobs and the money, or not?"

I gripped the folder in my hand, desperately wishing I could throw it in his face, yell profanities at him and escape in that fantastic Volvo. But I couldn't. I ran my right hand through my hair. "I must be fuckin' insane," I muttered, turning to storm out of the office.

"I'll take that as a confirmative," James said. "By the way, Edward."

I stopped and turned back. "What?"

"That ten thousand also depends on mission impossible. I want proof that you're actively contributing toward this mission." He held my gaze for a long moment, a warning in his eyes. "And don't get too attached. It won't help you or Miss Swan. Remember, Edward, I have other assassins that can take up this job. And if someone else has to take it up, then Bella Swan won't be the only person they're after…"

"Is that what I am?" I asked venomously. "An assassin? A killer? Just someone you can order to remove people you don't like?"

"Careful with what you say, Edward," he warned lazily.

"Why do you want me to kill her, then?" I moved back over to the desk. "What's she ever done to you?"

"I'll gladly tell you once you have completed the mission."

"Don't you think I have a right to know my motives?"

"Your motives are to get money to save your son," James pointed out. "My motives are my own."

I shook my head with a sarcastic laugh.

"Whatever your feelings, the point still stands. If you get too close to little Miss Swan, then neither of you will benefit. Don't ever forget that I have people watching everyone, Edward. Because you haven't been left out. You're never alone."

"You're sick." I glared at him and then left him to his twisted fun.

His words replayed in my mind as I got into the Volvo, ditching the folder in the glove box for now, and the words sent shivers down my spine. _You're never alone_. How the fuck had I ended up in this fucked up world? Oh, right, because my life was just one big _fucking_ mess.

***

"$82,000," I murmured. "Eighty-two thousand dollars, and that's just the first operation, Cody." Earlier, twenty-six thousand per week had sounded like a lot. Now it seemed like a joke. It would take me four weeks to save up enough. And that was without mentioning the apartment rent, taxing, food and other general living costs.

I stroked Cody's little arm; it was far too skinny for a newborn. "You can't hang on for four weeks for me can you, buddy?" I whispered. Then I sighed. "Of course you can't."

He stirred slightly. When I say slightly, I mean his finger twitched. Isobel had gone from his room now, which I felt was a shame for Cody. I did wonder what had happened to her, though. Had she pulled through? Had she been operated on? Had she died?

"What's been going on here then?" I said quietly, as though he could reply. "Anything interesting? Did a birdy come and sit on the windowsill? Did you open your eyes yet?" I bit back the tears. For almost everyone else, this should be such a happy time. Spending time with your newborn son shouldn't be a chore. I knew that I should have done this differently. Should have followed through on our original plans to get him adopted. But no one would pay for him to survive if no one wanted him. I wasn't going to let Tanya die in vain, even if I barely knew her. She had been so dedicated to keeping this little life going that she had died in the process. I stared blankly at the window that was starting to gloss over with rain as I remembered Cody's Mum.

It was strange to think that she had gone. I had barely known her so it was even harder to accept that she had died after being in my life for such a short time period. I mean, it wasn't like either of us were going to really stay in touch but, in a way, that just made it weirder.

My sleep-fogged mind moved away from Tanya then, and focussed on another girl. I groaned as my brain threw images of her at me, hitting my forehead with the heel of my hand. Then I looked back at Cody. His little, red lips had parted slightly, showing me the black emptiness that his mouth was. He should be eating with that; not being fed with wires going into his veins.

I forced my mind back to Bella, not wanting to think about how sick my baby was. "I met a really nice lady," I said to Cody, like he was responsive, and old enough to understand me. "She's wonderful. Very pretty, and kind, and funny. You'd love her, I'm sure. And she'd probably love you too. I don't think she's capable of _not_ loving anyone. Except Brianna, maybe." I moved my hand up to his head, stroking his fine downy hair. It was nearly the same colour as mine, perhaps a shade or two lighter.

"Maybe one day you can meet her." I smiled slightly, and let myself paint a pretty picture in my head of a possible future for Cody and myself. "When you've had all of your operations, I'll give James back his jobs. I'll take you out of here and I'll look after you like a real Dad. I'll get a proper job in Forks, Washington. That was where I grew up, you know. Prettiest little place you'll ever see." Tears stung at my eyes as I remembered, but I swallowed them back and carried on. "I'll buy a proper house there and it'll have a big garden that you can play in. I'll buy you all the toys I can, and we'll go to Disneyland every year. You can even bring a friend. Bella can come too. We can all live in the house together. Maybe you can even have a… a… brother or… a sister." My words came out stammered as the tears ran down my cheeks and my body shook. "I'll ask Bella to marry me somewhere pretty and romantic, like in that movie. Then you… you can be our pageboy… and… everything… will be… okay." The images I had described flashed through my head and I wanted them so badly. "You'll be the happiest little boy that ever lived, I promise. Everything will be alright in the end. It will." But my promises sounded false in my own ears. Because I knew it could never happen.

I broke down then, sobbing against the incubator. "I'm sorry I can't do anything for you," I whispered. "Being a Dad is just something else I suck at."

***

Frank Phelps. The first name on the list. Owes $16,000. Lived at 167 Bushgrove Terrace. Nice place. Married to Helen, who knows nothing about the debt. Two kids- John and Sarah.

I pulled my jumper off of my head so that I was just in my skin-tight black cotton top. It stretched over my biceps and made me look like a fighter, even if I knew that I would never be able to actually hurt anyone intentionally. Then, I got out of my car, parked carefully around the corner so that if anything did happen no one could report the number plate, and walked over to the huge house that was 167 Bushgrove Terrace. I pulled on the extravagant doorbell and waited.

Eventually, someone looked through the peek hole. "Who are you?" a man barked through the door.

"I'm looking for a Frank Phelps?" I asked without emotion.

The man sighed and he unlocked the door and opened it. He motioned me in quickly, looking around outside before shutting the door again. "Who are you and what do you want?"

"I'm here on behalf of James Cunningham," I said; Cunningham was James' secret identity. "I am of the understanding that you owe him some money."

Mr Phelps paled significantly and he swore under his breath. "Tell him that it's…"

"No. He said no excuses, he wants it now." Okay, so he hadn't said that, but he had said to bring money if I wanted bonuses.

"Um… er…" he stuttered.

"Do you have it?" I asked bluntly. "Or shall I call Helen and tell her where you really got the 'raise' from?"

"I've got it, I've got it," he said quickly when I whipped the blackmail out. "Just… not now."

I knew what I had to do now. I mean, I knew he had the money- look at his bloody house for crap's sake! So now I should beat him up until he gave in. But I couldn't do that. The only times I ever beat anyone up were… well, there was that time that those guys had been attacking Bella but that had been different… Suddenly I stopped. That was it. I looked at Frank Phelps and imagined that he had hurt Bella, that _he_ had been one of those men. I imagined that _he_ had made Cody sick. I imagined that _he_ had been the one to murder my parents. The blind fury that consumed me made it easy to push him up against the wall. "Look, Frank, James wants his money and he wants it now," I spat. I kneed him where it hurt - the second time in the day I had done that to someone – and then I said, "Are you gonna give it to me now, or shall I come back in a few days with some of my friends to _sort you out_?" I made sure that my tone was thick with implications.

Frank squeezed his eyes shut and pointed to a vase stood by the door. "In there," he rasped. "It's all in there."

I dropped the scruff of his neck and went over to the vase. I pulled out the potted plant and took the bag from the bottom, pausing to count the money. Then I dropped the plant back in, and thanked Frank before letting myself out.

It wasn't until I was back in the car, the money in the passenger seat's foot-well and Frank's name ticked off on the list, that I looked in my rear-view mirror at my reflection and felt thoroughly repulsed. What had I just done?

I had never _liked_ looking at myself in the mirror, but this was the first time I had hated my reflection. All because of James. He had turned me into a monster.

***

I couldn't sleep that night. Every time I dropped off to sleep, my mind would be invaded by warped fantasies involving my imaginary mansion, Bella and a gorgeous little boy that I instinctively knew was Cody. But then the dream would give way to a nightmare when the sun disappeared behind the clouds and day turned to night, revealing the flipside of my life. When I burst out of my skin, like a werewolf, or the incredible hulk and became the horrible monster I knew I was. Then Bella would scream and run, and take Cody with her.

I would wake sweating and shaking, berating myself for thinking such stupid things. It wasn't until I had woken from the same dream at least four times in two hours that I wondered if they weren't such stupid things after all.

The only stupid thing about that fantasy was the dream part. I was stupid to believe that that could ever happen, especially since Cody living and Bella living were two things that could never be mutually inclusive. If I didn't kill Bella, then James would get another of his 'assassins' to kill us both, therefore killing Cody at the same time. It was a vicious circle.

But it was a vicious circle I wouldn't start revolving. I would cloak the feelings I knew I had for Bella- like James had said; growing closer to her wouldn't benefit either of us. And I would prevent growing closer to her by not thinking of her.

At least, that was what my mind said. A certain other part of my body thought otherwise, and that was why I stood there, at three o'clock in the morning, in a freezing cold shower thinking of the fat nurse at the hospital that made me want to puke.

"Fuck you, Bella Swan," I muttered darkly.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Angst, angst, angst… jeez XD I'm sorry about all the angst and stuff guys, really I am, but it's fun to write and I think it's pretty interesting… do you agree or not? :S**

**So… a lot in that chapter. James has given Edward the job of debt collecting, Edward's become a monster and Tanya's Cody's Mummy :)**

**Yeah, about the Tanya thing- don't worry about it at all. All will be revealed in future chapters, I promise. And, yes, she died in childbirth so she's not gonna come back and steal Cody or something XD**

**WOW. I went to see Remember Me last night and OMC it was so amazingly freakishly INCREDIBLE. I honestly did not expect it to be anywhere near that good and it was just… completely awesome. Rob was really, really good in it and I really wish he'd be that great in Twilight because he was brilliant as Tyler but as Edward… eh, not so much. I would really recommend going to see it. Yeah, it's sad in places but it's so worth it :D**

**Um… the next update probably won't be until Tuesday now so have a great Easter everybody :)**

**And please review :) I don't think we're gonna get to that 500 review aim but I'd love to be proved wrong (hint, hint). Think of a review as… paying for the story… since it's, you know, FREE… um… yeah :L**

**I'm totally willing to offer Easter eggs with a Twilight guy of your choice inside the egg. Think of all the chocolate it would take to hide Taylor's abs… ;)**

**Thanks guys! Have a great bank holiday! :D**

**Steph**


	11. Chapter 10: A Problem Shared

**Previously…**

_The only stupid thing about that fantasy was the dream part. I was stupid to believe that that could ever happen, especially since Cody living and Bella living were two things that could never be mutually inclusive. If I didn't kill Bella, then James would get another of his 'assassins' to kill us both, therefore killing Cody at the same time. It was a vicious circle._

_But it was a vicious circle I wouldn't start revolving. I would cloak the feelings I knew I had for Bella- like James had said; growing closer to her wouldn't benefit either of us. And I would prevent growing closer to her by not thinking of her._

_At least, that was what my mind said. A certain other part of my body thought otherwise, and that was why I stood there, at three o'clock in the morning, in a freezing cold shower thinking of the fat nurse at the hospital that made me want to puke._

"_Fuck you, Bella Swan," I muttered darkly._

********

_He's soft to the touch but frayed at the ends he breaks  
He's never enough and still he's more than I can take  
Oh, and I don't know, I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful, he's such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful or just a beautiful disaster?_

_**-Beautiful Disaster (Live version), Kelly Clarkson**_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 10- A Problem Shared**

**Bella POV**

Alice cocked her head to the side. "How many calories are there in an apple?"

"Um…" I frowned as I chewed on my chocolate bar. "About fifty, I think. Why? Alice, you're not going on a diet, are you?"

She blushed and looked down sheepishly. "Um… well, I don't fit into my favourite dress anymore…"

I stared at her. "Alice, are you kidding me? You don't need to diet!"

She shrugged. "I've made my mind up, don't try and change it."

I sighed and didn't push; I knew how stubborn Al could be. Besides, I had other things on my mind. It had been a little over a week since Edward had become my bodyguard/friend/whatever the hell he was, and he was still just as distant as he had been before; if not more so. Everyday I searched for that haunted look in his eyes and everyday it was still there, often worse than the day before. He was like a ticking clock, a bomb waiting to go off all the time. He was so tense all the time. So worried _all the time_. Often I could have a conversation with him for half an hour and then, just moments later, he would have no recollection of it. I was starting to get really worried. He was trapped in his bubble; close enough to touch but just out of reach. I sighed miserably.

"Bella, what is up with you?!" Alice demanded, putting her apple down on her otherwise empty plate.

I sighed again. "I'm just worried."

"What, about the concerts? Bella, you'll do great- you always do."

"Yeah," Jake agreed, taking his usual seat opposite me. His plate was full with some gloopy pasta dish; surprise, surprise. "The girls love you."

"No, no, not about that," I said. "About Edward." I blushed as I said his name.

"Oh." Alice shared a look with Jacob before turning back to me. "Have you tried speaking to him about it?"

"I asked him what was wrong this morning and he just… he said he was fine but… I could tell that he wasn't," I replied quietly, trying not to remember the distance in his eyes. "He just seems to get further away from me every time I try to get closer. I take one step forward, he takes two back, y'know?"

Jake looked at his pasta, shovelling some in his mouth and swallowing it down before speaking. "Maybe he doesn't like you? Ow!" He jumped as though he had been kicked under the table.

I raised an eyebrow at Alice. "Way to go Mr and Mrs Subtle." Then I bit my lip. "What if he _doesn't _like me?"

"Bella, judging by the way that guy looks at you… no. No, he really does like you. Maybe…" Alice speculated. "Maybe he likes you _too_ much. But thinks that you're way out of his league so…"

"Thinks that he can't make a move!" Jake completed for her.

"Exactly," Alice agreed, high-fiving Jacob.

I smiled slightly at their antics. "No, that's not it. There's something more than that…"

"Well, we only have one lesson this afternoon and then you're done for the day, right?" Alice said.

I nodded a confirmation.

"Take a walk with him. Have some bonding time. Let him know he can trust you."

I nodded again, not bothering to explain that I had tried everything to get Edward to trust me. Then I forced a smile and asked Jake how he felt about the game his team was playing tonight.

His face lit up and he started talking animatedly about how they were hopefully going to 'thrash' the other team. I smiled and nodded, trying to look like I was paying attention, but I couldn't stop my eyes from passing over my friends to look at the gleam of the silver car parked on the opposite side of the car park even though I knew that I wouldn't be able to see him from here.

***

I opened the passenger door quietly so as not to wake Edward a couple of hours later. He was always asleep while I was in class. It made me wonder whether he slept at night. I ditched my bag in the foot-well and shut the door behind me just as quietly. I didn't have the heart to wake Edward when he had bags under his eyes that big, so I sat and watched him sleep for a while.

I don't know how long I had been sat there when he suddenly shifted a little bit… and then started to talk. "Bella," he murmured my name, his voice deep and gravelly, and my face lit up. Then he turned his head to the side, his lips searching, and I felt colour rush up to my cheeks as I realised what he was dreaming about. I felt my breath catch in my throat nervously as I contemplated waking him, but then his expression changed and he muttered, "No. Leave Cody alone."

Cody? Who was Cody?

Then he growled in his sleep and literally snarled, "Get off of him."

I was starting to feel uncomfortable when suddenly Edward jolted awake, breathing heavily with a face like thunder. He blinked a few times and then looked round, probably wondering where he was. He breathed a sigh of relief and then did a double take. "Bella?"

"I'm sorry," I said, flushing again. "I didn't want to wake you up; you looked tired."

He seemed embarrassed. "Don't worry about me. How long have you been here?"

I shrugged. "Five minutes maximum."

"Oh." That made him feel better. Edward sighed and started the engine. "Good day?" It was the sort of question a parent asked their child, not the sort of question a friend asked a friend.

I frowned. "Yeah… um… Edward? Do you wanna take a walk?"

He glanced up at me, sleep still dominant on his face. "What?"

I reached over and put my hand over his, which was still around the key in the ignition. Then I twisted it, shutting the engine off. "Let's take a walk." I gestured to the thick forest that the school backed on to. It reminded me a little of my old high school in that respect. Back in Forks.

I blocked that out; thinking about my old life made me think of my Mum. And that drawer had to be kept shut and locked.

I didn't give him a chance to respond to my suggestion, just got out of the car and went round to his side to help him out. He looked confused, but complied all the same following me along the small gravel path that led into the woods until I reached back and took his hand. Then he stopped. "Don't you have to be somewhere?"

"No," I replied, looking back at him. "Oh. You have plans, don't you?"

Edward glanced back at the car and then shrugged. "Nah. It doesn't matter."

I instantly felt awful. "Yes it does. Don't cancel plans on my behalf."

"It's okay," he insisted. "Let's take a walk."

I thought about it for a moment, and then dropped his hand and carried on walking into the forest. I stayed a few paces ahead of Edward until he came quickly to my side and picked my hand back up again. "What's wrong?" he asked suspiciously.

I sighed and turned round to face him. "I don't know," I whispered. "You tell me."

He raised an eyebrow. "This again? I told you, Bella, nothing's wrong."

I gently wound my arms around his waist and lay my head against his chest. "I just want to help you," I said softly.

He chuckled into my ear, but it sounded false. I wanted to hear him laugh for real. The same laugh I had last heard more than a week ago just before we had gone to the cinema together. I wanted to hear it so badly. So I pulled away and smiled at him. "Turn around."

He shot me a confused glance, but did as he was told. I put my hands on his shoulders and marched him forward into the throng of trees. Then I stood him by a very big tree and said, "Put your hands over your eyes and count to thirty."

"What are you doing?" Edward asked.

"We're playing hide and seek," I replied.

He quirked a brow at me and said, "Isn't that a little bit childish?"

I smiled. "Maybe."

Edward sighed and shook his head and, for a moment, I thought he wasn't going to play along. But then he covered his eyes and started to count. Careful not to rustle any of the leaves underfoot, I crept around to the other side of the tree he was counting behind and stood there, waiting.

"Thirty!" he said after a while and I heard him walk away from the tree in the opposite direction. Perfect. I snuck around again, and then leapt on his back, flinging my legs around his middle and holding on tight. Edward yelled out in surprise and tripped on a tree root, falling to the ground. He twisted as he fell, making sure to catch me rather than fall on me. I looked at his face, which was like a startled child's and burst into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. After a moment of being shell-shocked, Edward's face broke into a grin and he started to laugh too. My plan had worked.

"What was that all about?" he asked when we had both calmed down a bit and moved to sit on a nearby tree root.

I rested my head on his shoulder. "I just wanted to hear you laugh," I admitted.

Edward's smile disappeared. "Bella…" His tone was warning, just like it had been when we had had that conversation about trust. "Don't."

"Don't what?" I asked with a pout. "You always say don't, but you never specify what."

"Don't do this to me," he muttered, looking away.

I was silent for a moment, hurt that he slipped back into his depression so quickly. Did that mean that he didn't like being with me as much as I liked being with him? Did he not look forward to coming into work to see my smile? Of course not, a voice in my head answered sourly.

Edward was the first to speak. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I've just… got a lot to deal with at the moment."

I nodded. "You want to share? You know what they say- a problem shared is a problem…"

"Solved?" he finished sarcastically. "That's bull."

"You're so negative," I complained.

"You're so positive," he copied my whine.

I poked him playfully. "I wasn't joking." I fell silent again for a moment. "Let's play twenty questions," I offered.

"What?"

"You said we could play it one day."

"But you do that shit at high school."

I pointed at myself. "Hello? Still _in_ high school."

"You're a senior," he pointed out. "We did that back in freshman year."

I rolled my eyes. "You're never too old for twenty questions. I'll start." I mulled over a light question that would tell me something about Edward without being too inquisitive. "What's your… favourite colour?"

He groaned.

"That's an easy question!" I objected to his groan.

"Fine. Brown."

I snorted. "Brown?"

"Sure. It's… warm. Nice. Deep. Like… like it would wrap you up and hug you; shield you from the world." He seemed to be being grudgingly honest.

I filed the information away in my mind. "You turn."

Edward looked at me for a long moment and then he said, "When's your birthday?"

"September thirteenth," I answered instantly; that was easy.

"Hmm. Virgo. Interesting…"

"Why is that interesting?" I demanded.

Edward smirked. "I once read that the Virgo motto could be 'perfect is almost good enough'. Virgos are generally a bit picky."

"Am I picky?" I scrunched up my nose.

He shrugged. "A little."

"What are you, then?"

He laughed, but it wasn't the natural laugh that made me feel fuzzy inside. "Gemini. Apparently, I'm the eternal child that never grows up or some crap like that."

"The eternal child that called twenty questions a high school game." I grinned at him. "Okay… my turn."

"No," he corrected me. "You just asked me one."

"That didn't count!"

"It counted when I asked it," he pointed out.

I scoffed. "Fine."

He smiled at my pouting face. "What's _your_ favourite colour?"

"Green," I answered without hesitation, and then I cringed because until recently, blue had been my favourite colour. Sat here, looking into his glorious emerald green eyes, it was impossible to forget the reason behind the change.

"Why?"

I blushed. "It's nice. And… um… yeah."

He squinted at me. "It's nice?"

I nodded and quickly moved on to my next question. "Where do you live?"

He scratched the back of his head and hesitated before answering with a slight sigh. "Layton Gardens." His eyes met mine. "The dodgy part."

I blinked. "Really?"

He grinned a little. "Why would I lie?"

I shrugged. "Dunno. I just… presumed…"

"Yeah," he cut me off. "I know." He moved on to his next question then. "So how long are you staying in LA for?"

He caught me by surprise for the second time in a minute. "Um… I don't know… I hadn't considered leaving…"

"But you have to," he reminded me. "You have those concerts soon."

I looked at the floor. "But I like it here." _Correction: I like being wherever you are._

"Is LA the best place you've ever lived in, then? I mean, you must've moved around a lot."

I thought about that. "Second-best. But I don't really judge my homes by where they are. Everything depends on the experiences I have there, and the people I meet there and… well, how long I spend there. I don't really… have a home, as such. I haven't lived in a house for… four years. Since my Mum died." I swallowed the lump in my throat at talking about Renee; so much for not thinking about that. "I just move from hotel to hotel, so they're not really homes, you know? I've been living in that hotel for about five months now, so that's the closest thing I've had to a proper house for a long time." I smiled weakly at him. "It must be nice to have a home to yourself."

He raised an eyebrow "In Layton?"

"Sure. At least you don't get uprooted all the time."

Edward sighed. "I guess." He was silent for a moment and then he murmured, "I'm sorry. About your Mum, I mean."

I nodded slowly, trying not to let the memories spring to mind. It was bad enough that the whole world knew about my mother's murder; I hated to speak of the details. There were some parts of my life that I had to keep to myself. Some things I had to keep even from Edward. "I don't talk about it."

"Mmm," Edward agreed, shifting slightly; his sleeve moved slightly up his arm revealing the tiniest amount of black ink. I felt the thrill of slight shock run through me when I saw the end of his tattoo again.

"Can I see your tattoo?" I asked into the sudden silence.

He blinked at me, completely shocked. "What?"

Well, at least I had turned the subject away from myself. "Can I see your tattoo?" I repeated.

"How do you know about that?"

I gestured to his arm, and then added, "I saw a little the night you came for the interview. I think tattoos are really interesting, but Emmett thinks that I'd be being a bad influence if I got one. But seriously, what difference does it make if I get a little butterfly or something generic on my hip anyways?" I looked at Edward. "So can I see it?"

"Um… I guess," he replied, but made no move to show it.

"Well?" I prompted.

"Hey, I answered the question," he pointed out.

"Very funny." Then I saw the expression on his face. "So you don't want me to see it?"

He shifted uncomfortably under my gaze. "Not really." He looked guilty.

"Edward," I said gently, "I'm not gonna make you do anything. You can trust me, you know."

He looked up into my eyes. "I want to be able to trust you," he whispered.

"But?"

"But I can't." He sighed. "I'm sorry. It's not you…"

"It's not you, it's me?"

He smiled. "Kind of." Then, he looked through the trees into the filtered light of the forest. "Have you ever been in love, Bella?"

I blanched. "Is that one of your questions?"

He shrugged. "Sure."

I thought about it for a moment. "Define love."

Edward licked his lips thoughtfully and then said, "When you're with them, you wish you never had to leave. When you aren't with them, you feel empty. You lie awake at night thinking about them. They sometimes take your breath away. You love them so much that you'd gladly die in their place. You would do anything for them, even kill someone. And… when you leave them… it's like you're leaving half of yourself behind." He looked at me, his brows creased together. "Have you ever felt like that?"

It took me a while to answer because it was like he had just described how I felt about him. Was that love? "Yes," I choked out eventually. "Yeah, I'm in love."

Edward nodded like he understood and then he let his head fall into his hands. "So am I."

"With who?" I whispered. I realised that I was holding my breath in anticipation. Anticipation of what, I wasn't sure.

He shook his head. "I can't tell you, Bella. I can't bloody tell anybody. I wish life was that simple." Then he looked at me. "But love is private, right? Love is the one thing about us that defines who we are. It's who and what we love that makes us… _us_."

I frowned a little. "I guess so…"

"Our memories are made up of love- even bad memories are only there because we fought with someone we love, or something happened to someone we love. Our thoughts are made up of love- the people we love, the things we love. Our bodies and minds react to love… We, as a race, are here to love," he concluded, and then he sighed. "So how can a species made to love conceal so much hate, and anger, and pain?"

I took the question as rhetorical and simply wound my arms around his muscled torso. My heart raced and my skin flushed as it came into contact with him, but I tried to quash the feelings. It was clear that he was in love with someone else, and he didn't need this now. He just needed a friend. I felt a tear threaten to appear at the corner of my eye, and Edward saw it as well when he looked at me.

"What?" he asked softly. "Are you okay?"

I took his hand in mine and traced the veins on the inside of his wrist. "I just wish I could help you."

"You do help me," he murmured.

"How?" I enquired. "How can I help you when you won't even talk to me about anything?"

Edward turned me toward him and cupped my face in his hands. "I can't explain how you help me. You're… support. You're always here, and you're always happy, and you're always kind. You're the grip I have on… on reality. If it wasn't for you… well, I don't know what I'd be like." He stared into my eyes and I could see nothing but the truth. "This started off as a job, Bella. Something I did to get the money. But now I couldn't walk away if I tried." He pinched the bridge of his nose like he was in pain.

"And what's wrong with that?" I breathed.

"Everything," he sighed. "I like you too much, Bella," he revealed. "Far, far too much." He gritted his teeth and looked away, like he'd said too much.

"I like you too," I admitted.

"And that's even worse." Edward's phone started to ring then, and he glanced at the caller ID before answering instantly. "What do _you_ want?" His tone wasn't friendly. He was silent for a moment and then his eyes bugged out of his head. "You've done _what_?!" A pause. "Of course you've taken it too damn far you absolute shithead! Just… don't do anything rash." Then he hung up and looked at me. "I'm sorry."

I nodded. "You have to go."

"Yeah."

There was an awkward silence for a long moment. Then I said, "Are we friends?"

The question seemed to take him off-guard. "Are we?"

"I'm asking you."

He nodded slightly. "I guess we are." He sounded sad about that. "I'm sorry I don't talk to you. I… I do consider you my best friend, I guess, but there are things that… you can't tell even your closest friends."

I was rendered speechless. He considered me his best friend? But we had known each other a week! But then I thought about my feelings for him; and realised that I felt the same way about him. Was it possible that he reciprocated my other feelings as well? My… _love_?

"I'll drop you back at the hotel," Edward sighed when I didn't respond.

"It's okay," I said. "I'll walk."

"But something might happen to you," he argued.

I shot him a glare. "I can look after myself. Besides… I could do with the time to think."

Edward glanced at his wrist-watch. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," I said, certain about it now that I knew I was making him late. "I'm sorry for keeping you."

"Don't be," he replied. "I had a good time." And then he held my hand in his as he leant in and placed a single kiss on my cheek. He smiled at me slightly and then he was gone. But when I looked back down at my hand, there was a wildflower in it. And it was the most perfect green colour; the same perfect emerald as his eyes. But what was it Edward had said about perfection?

_Perfect is almost good enough._

What was that supposed to mean?

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Aw some nice little bonding time there :) And a kiss? ;)**

**I'm sorry I didn't post sooner… I wasn't too sure about the time skip, but I think it's okay… But oh well, only two days late eh? :)**

**I have some damn awful writers block too… :S But while searching for inspiration, I came across an amazing fic called 'Online Offline' and I would recommend reading :) It's in my faves ;) Only ten chapters long at the moment but jeez, they're very long chapters. Like one of hers is three times the length of one of mine XD**

**Less angst and more fluff in this chapter which is a good thing :) Of course, we'll be getting right back in Eddie's head soon :) You'll be finding out who Edward was talking to on the phone, what he/she's done and what our lovely Eddie does about it ;) Any guesses?**

**You guys liked your easter eggs huh? A lot of happy people with their choccy-wrapped Taylors there ;) I dunno if I can offer something that betters the twilight-guy-egg so I won't bribe you this time. I am perfectly happy to resort to blackmail though… *does the evil Mr Burns finger thing and laughs***

**Can we get the 23 reviews to get to 500 for the tenth chapter?! :) Please *puppy eyes***

**Please review!**

**Thank you :)**

**Steph**


	12. Chapter 11: Queen of Hearts

**Previously…**

_I shot him a glare. "I can look after myself. Besides… I could do with the time to think."_

_Edward glanced at his wrist-watch. "Are you sure?"_

"_Yes," I said, certain about it now that I knew I was making him late. "I'm sorry for keeping you."_

"_Don't be," he replied. "I had a good time." And then he held my hand in his as he leant in and placed a single kiss on my cheek. He smiled at me slightly and then he was gone. But when I looked back down at my hand, there was a wildflower in it. And it was the most perfect green colour; the same perfect emerald as his eyes. But what was it Edward had said about perfection?_

Perfect is almost good enough.

_What was that supposed to mean?_

********

_I was born to tell you I love you_

_And I am torn to do what I have to_

_To make you mine, stay with me tonight_

_**-Your Call, Secondhand Serenade**_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 11- Queen of Hearts**

**Edward POV**

I couldn't believe I could be _so fucking stupid_.

_Why_ had I taken that job in the first place?

_Why_ had I let her big doe eyes and kind heart steal my own?

_Why_ had I not seen that it wouldn't even take a week to fall head over fucking heels in love with her?

And now I had to 'dispose of' her. Great. Just absolutely fucking great. And then, on top of that shit, I was blackmailing, bribing and beating up guys left, right and centre just because they owed my uncle a little money. My life was like a tornado; a whirlwind of destruction, devastation and disorder. And a fucking huge tornado at that.

I remembered what I had told Bella earlier on, when she had asked me to define love. _When you're with them, you wish you never had to leave. When you aren't with them, you feel empty. You lie awake at night thinking about them. They sometimes take your breath away. You love them so much that you'd gladly die in their place. You would do anything for them, even kill someone. And… when you leave them… it's like you're leaving half of yourself behind._

Yeah, that was my description of love. At the time I had been speaking of Cody but now… now that I looked back on what I had said, I realised that it all applied to Bella as well. It felt like there was a steel wire tugging my heart back as I drove away from her. It felt like I was leaving half of myself behind…

I was in love with the girl I had to kill.

Ironic, isn't it, how life plays out like that? How fate chucks the joker in the deck and pulls it out when it's most inconvenient to you. Like it's saying 'oh, sorry, mate' and then having a good old laugh behind your back. I had thought that there was only one joker in each pack, but apparently mine got mixed with some other peoples and I ended up with their crappy cards and gave away my good ones. Well, most of my good ones. I had a nice little card in there to distract from the shit. The Queen of Hearts, maybe? Yeah, that sounded like Bella. After that, though, I just had a continuous cycle of crap.

Like this thing Aro had roped me into. What the fuck was with this? That was the first question I asked Aro when I got out of my car.

"He'll pay up now, the slimy little toad," was all Aro had to say on the matter.

"I can't believe you did this," I said, running my hands through my hair.

"Hey, look, Edward," Aro said venomously, "it was _you_ that had the problems with the dude. _You_ that has to get his money. James gave _you_ the mission because he thinks you're the 'special one' and sometimes you have to go to these lengths, dude."

"Stop calling me that," I grumbled, though the nickname 'dude' was hardly significant in these circumstances.

Aro barked out a laugh. "Why?"

"Because you're old." I knew age was a touchy subject with Aro, so I wasn't surprised when he lunged at me. I easily knocked him to the ground by sticking out my foot. Then I sneered down at him, like the fucking bastard I was becoming. "Old man."

"I did you a favour, you pathetic runt, and this is how you repay me?" He struggled back to his feet.

"You did me a favour?!" I asked in disbelief. I stared at him. "Aro, I asked you to help me get his money- not fucking kidnap the guy's son!"

"I've done it before." Aro was way too calm. "Chill, Edward, he'll pay up now."

I took a step closer to him. "Look, I have a son and I know how fucking well that guy'll be dealing with this. You've gone about this in the wrong way."

"Look who's talking," Aro taunted.

I opened my mouth to argue, but was interrupted by a sniffling coming from the boot **(AN- trunk… eh, the back end)** of Aro's car. I gaped at him.

"He's been making a fucking racket all the way here. That's almost sixty blocks!" Aro complained, thinking that I was staring at him because of the noise.

"You stuck a _five-year-old_ in the _boot_?!" I didn't bother waiting for a response. I went straight to his car and opened the boot to find a small boy crying his eyes out and whimpering for his Mum. I sat down, careful not to scare him. "Hey… are you okay?"

The little boy looked at me with scared eyes. "Are you going to hit me too?" he whispered.

I glared at Aro and then looked back at the boy. "No, I'm going to take you home. What's your name?"

"Robin," the boy replied quietly, watching Aro with terrified green eyes. They reminded me a little of my eyes.

"Okay, Robin, what are your Mum and Dad called?" I knew his Dad's name, but I wanted to check that Aro had actually picked up the right kid.

"My Dad's called Paul and my Mum's called Jodie," Robin said. "And I have a little sister called Isobel."

I froze. Jodie and Isobel? As in Jodie and Isobel from the hospital? No… must have been a coincidence. They were common names… weren't they? "Okay," I said. "Come get in my car and I'll take you home. I need to have a word with your Dad, though."

Robin nodded and let me help him out of the car. He probably didn't fully realise what had happened to him. He eyed Aro carefully, but he trusted me too easily. A kid this age should be scared fucking senseless of being taken by a stranger. Robin seemed to take it all in his stride; he must have been through some shit. Unless he was just used to being with strange people since his mother and sister were in hospital… I quickly stopped myself. I didn't _know_ that.

I followed Robin's quiet directions back to his house, and then took him nervously to the door, after checking that there was no police car in the close proximity. I didn't know quite what to say to Robin's parents. Maybe I should just shoo him out of the car and drive off without getting involved. But then I looked at Robin and I remembered why Aro had taken him in the first place. I supposed that using Robin could be a way around this after all.

So we went up the path together, Robin's little hand in my own. My heart panged in my chest as I wondered whether I would ever get to hold Cody's hand without us being separated by a sheet of plastic. Robin knocked on the door, and a red-eyed woman came to get it. The moment she glimpsed her son, she burst into fresh tears and lifted him into her arms. While she showered him in kisses and asked desperately if he was okay, I got that awful feeling of guilt in my gut.

It was the same Jodie. Of course.

Then she looked up at me and blanched in surprise. "You," she said, her voice not hiding any of the shock.

I pursed my lips. "Um… my colleague may have… inadvertently… taken… your son?" It sounded like a question.

Jodie looked down, almost as though _she_ were guilty. What could she be guilty of? "You want the money, right?"

I looked around myself pointedly and she quickly invited me in. "How do you know about that?" I asked the moment I was inside the door.

She sighed. "Cullen, right?"

I pursed my lips again; I took great care never to disclose any personal information. Just in case.

"Of course you're not going to say," she said, more to herself.

"No," I said flatly. "I'm just here to get your money, and get out."

Jodie sighed, and then decided that an explanation was needed. "My husband was on good terms with Mr Cunningham when Isobel was born so we borrowed some money for her operation. I… I didn't realise that… it was… _this_ kind of money until recently…" She put her hand over her mouth and bit back a sob. "That was why I didn't call the police when I noticed that Robin was missing. We're in the wrong, I know… I just can't seem to be able to get the money together…"

"Don't worry about it," I said without thinking. "James cleared it. My colleague… got it wrong."

Jodie looked at me in astonishment. "He cleared it? But… but why?"

I shrugged. "He does things none of us can figure out."

And then, unexpectedly, Jodie hugged me tightly, tears streaming from her eyes. "Thank you, thank you, thank you," she whispered.

I nodded, and then I couldn't help myself. "Was she okay?"

Jodie nodded eagerly. "Would you like to see a photo? She's still in hospital but she's improved so much since the oper…"

"I have to go," I rejected stonily without waiting for her to finish, and then I turned for the door without another word. I couldn't bear to stick around and see Jodie's baby so healthy while mine was still dying. Isobel was younger than Cody, too.

It wasn't until I got back into my car that I realised that I had just cleared Jodie's debt of $10,000. Isobel had only needed one operation, much less serious than all of Cody's, but ten thousand was still a lot of money. I just wished Cody's operations would only cost that much… Why did some people get all the luck? I sighed and went to the bank, where I made a withdrawal of $10,000. In cash.

I couldn't afford to do it, but it felt as though, in paying Jodie's debt off for her, I was knocking a mark off of my conscience. And surely that was a good thing? Surely, in helping someone else, I'd get some kind of good karma?

***

I checked my statement as I waited, listening to the heavy rain beat on the roof the following morning. Twenty-two thousand. I was going round in bloody circles. Just as I had reached thirty-thousand, I was ten back. I just _had_ to be so compassionate. Just had to give in when Jodie's eyes lit up at the mention of her daughter's recovery. Why had James given _her_ the money, but he couldn't afford to give me any? I sighed; I knew that wasn't fair. He was giving me more than I had expected.

I ditched the statement in the glove-box then and cracked my knuckles, wondering what to do. I only had to wait another twenty minutes and then Bella'd be done at her interview. Bella had invited me to join them, but I had refused because – not only would our relationship look like something it wasn't – but because… I couldn't really explain why I didn't want to be there. I just… didn't. So I had opted to stay here.

I didn't want to fall asleep again in case she came back and didn't wake me up. I knew I spoke in my sleep, and God alone knew what she might hear if I continued to have the same kind of dreams about her that I had been having. But sleeping was what I did while I waited, considering the tiny amount of sleep I actually got at night. The front seat of my Volvo was a lot more comfy than my bed.

I squeezed my eyes shut and wished I had gone to see Cody instead of going to the bank. Going to the bank had just depressed me. I mean, not that seeing Cody didn't depress me, but… I _liked_ being with him. In the last week, he had started getting a little better. Obviously, not that much better, but he had grown a little, and I saw that as a positive even though the nurses warned me that he was just reacting to the higher amount of whatever the hell they were giving him and would soon drop a lot of weight again. I tried to remain blissfully ignorant of that fact, though. I was just happy to spend the time with him that I could.

I wondered what Bella would think of Cody if I ever told her about him. I wondered whether she would be surprised. But I wouldn't tell her. Not just because she wouldn't understand – no one would – but also because these were two different parts of my life. Never did I forget that I did what I did for Cody, but when I was with Bella… it was almost as though… she lit everything up. She was like the sun that shone on a dusty abandoned surface. A tiny teeny glow of hope and happiness. I didn't want to ruin that by pushing a cloud in front of my sunshine.

Besides, I clearly wasn't the only one with secrets.

I thought about the articles I had read about Bella's Mum's death. Renee had also been famous; an actress. I remembered back to the day when Renee Swan's murder had been breaking news. James had come straight in the door and turned on the news, as usual, and there had been photos of her and film of the crime scene. The story dominated the news for weeks and theories were everywhere. Eventually it had come out that she had been stabbed, though her killer had not been able to be identified.

At the time, I had just emphasised with Renee's daughter. I had not seen any of Renee's movies, nor was I all that bothered about them. But when I saw a photo of her thirteen-year-old daughter, my heart ached for the girl. Especially since I had been through the exact same thing as she had less than a year earlier. I remember wondering whether she had seen her mother being killed. Whether she knew who had done it and kept quiet. Whether she felt the same guilt I had done.

I opened my eyes again, trying to dispel the thoughts of my mother, and I noticed for the first time the small babble of girls that was gathering outside of the door that I was expecting Bella to come out of. Since we had – well, she had – experienced this a fair few times in the last week, it didn't take me long to realise why they were there. "Aw, no," I groaned quietly. Bella took it all in her stride, like a good celebrity should, but me? Well, I had to admit that the stalkerish fans gave me the creeps from time to time. Especially that one that had asked me to sign her tits with the name 'Bella Swan's boyfriend'. Even after I had told her that I wasn't Bella's boyfriend.

That was why I stayed in the car while the babble grew into a rather large group, watching the door like a hawk as I waited to go and rescue her from the throng. That was also why I was surprised when the passenger side door opened quietly and Bella got in with a hoodie pulled over her head. "Go," she whispered.

I laughed once, and started the car, miraculously managing to drive off before any of the girls saw us. "That was a little mean," I commented when she pulled her hood down.

She sighed. "I know. I can't deal with that today, though."

I gestured to the rain. "So you're gonna leave them standing out in this?"

"Edward, please," she said, "don't make me feel any more guilty than is necessary."

I laughed and shut up. Laughing, I was coming to realise, was a natural thing when it came to Bella. Just like it should have been every day of my life. But only the beautiful girl next to me had the power to get me to laugh for real, to get me to really feel happy.

"How did the interview go?" I asked, trying to take my mind off of the feelings I had for her

"Ugh. The guy actually asked me whether I was pregnant with Jacob's baby!" Bella groaned. "I mean, how rude is that?! Surely, if I was dating Jake, it'd be my business and not theirs. If I was freaking pregnant…" She didn't bother to finish her sentence, just shook her head in wordless disbelief.

"What did you say?" I asked.

"Very nearly told them to fuck off," she muttered.

I barked out a laugh. "You should have done."

She snorted. "Yeah, because that would really help my reputation."

"It's your life," I pointed out. "They shouldn't ask you things like that; it's intrusive on your privacy."

Bella looked up at me to reply, but when she opened her mouth, it just stayed there. She stared at me and I stared back.

"What?" I asked eventually.

Her cheeks flushed crimson, and she turned her attention back to staring at the passing landscape, staying ever-silent. Her purposeful avoidance of my question would have annoyed me if she hadn't been so bad at masking her feelings on her face. That was why I just felt guilty. Guilty because I could see with my own eyes that she liked me too much; a hell of a lot more than she should. Guilty because she trusted me far too easily. Guilty because I reciprocated those feelings but I could never, ever tell her because _we_ could never, ever happen, despite how much I wanted it.

We stayed silent for a while, my eyes stuck carefully to the road ahead and Bella staring out of the window.

Suddenly, Bella sat up straighter. "Layton gardens?" she read off of the street name sign. "Isn't this where you live?"

My grip tightened on the steering wheel as we stopped by a red light. "Yes," I replied grudgingly, looking ashamedly up at the murky building to our left.

"In there?" Bella questioned, following my gaze. Her voice was carefully cloaked; unemotional.

I nodded, trying to urge the lights to change with my thoughts.

"Can I see?"

When I looked at my passenger I saw the little smile on her face. "Why?"

"I want to see where you live," she said simply. "Where you go when you're not with me."

An ironic smile played at my lips. "I don't spend much time here," I told her truthfully.

"Well, can we go in anyway? I don't have to be anywhere." She put her hand over mine on the gearstick, making me look into her pleading eyes. "Please?"

I thought about it for a moment and then gave in, turning my indicator on with a sigh.

Bella smiled and squeezed my hand, happy that she had gotten her way. And, as I turned left when the lights went green, I realised that I couldn't deny her something she wanted any more then I could take a knife to her pretty little throat.

And then I remembered.

I remembered that I may well have to take a knife to her pretty little throat.

I was so messed up.

So screwed.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Aw :) That was a bit of a filler really… but ah I like the next chapter. And I think you guys will too :)**

**And we got more than 500!!!! I honestly cannot tell you how much your comments mean to me :D So, as a thank you, I'm gonna post the next chapter tomorrow. Also because I know this is a filler and you guys are so damned awesome that you deserve it :)**

**OMC the cinema people actually hate me though guys! My friend, Hannah saw the NM trailer when she went to see Harry Potter back in the Summer- and when I went to see it I just got freaking Bandslam. Today she text me saying they showed the Eclipse trailer when she went to see Remember Me. I went to see that on opening night and I didn't get a freaking glimpse :O :'( so unfair *scowl* lol**

**Okay… well… I hope you guys had a nice weekend and I will see you tomorrow evening :)**

**Please review!**

**Thanks**

**Steph**


	13. Chapter 12: Head Over Heart

**Previously…**

_She put her hand over mine on the gearstick, making me look into her pleading eyes. "Please?"_

_I thought about it for a moment and then gave in, turning my indicator on with a sigh._

_Bella smiled and squeezed my hand, happy that she had gotten her way. And, as I turned left when the lights went green, I realised that I couldn't deny her something she wanted any more then I could take a knife to her pretty little throat._

_And then I remembered._

_I remembered that I may well have to take a knife to her pretty little throat._

_I was so messed up._

_So screwed._

********

**Dedication- **you guys know as well as I do that I don't really do dedications because honestly I don't do favouritism but I feel I should say happy belated birthday to** 1901TeamEdward1918** as she very much deserves it :D I hope you had an awesome day :) Better late than never, right? :)

********

_Get up and go; take a chance and be strong_

_You can't spend your whole life holding on._

_Don't look back, just go; take a breath, move along._

_You can't spend your whole life holding on._

_**-Go, Boys Like Girls**_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 12- Head Over Heart**

**Edward POV**

Luckily, the landlord wasn't in when I snuck Bella toward the stairs. I was glad about this not only because there was a strict 'no visitors' rule, but also because I still hadn't paid the rent since I had moved in here. I knew I was digging myself deeper and deeper into a hole, but my living conditions weren't really anything I could care about above Cody.

When there was a series of rhythmic bangs from the third floor – meaning that the runaway kid who lived up there was practicing his football again – Bella slipped her hand nervously into mine. I looked back at her to see her chewing nervously at her lip and looking edgily at the stairs as though she expected to fall through them.

I felt my cheeks flame with embarrassment at what she must think and mentally berated myself for not making up some excuse. And then, her eyes came up and met mine. I smiled wryly. "'The inside' seems pretty different now, doesn't it?"

She fumbled with words for a second before saying quietly, "You can never judge a book by its cover."

I snorted as we reached the top of the second flight of stairs. The irony was that if she was going to judge me by this run-down nuthouse, she'd get me spot-on. I wasn't in perfect working condition, I was cheap, I was dirty and no one really wanted me. Except for her. But that was because she didn't know me. She just took me at face-value; she hadn't scratched away the shiny surface I tried to exert to find the reality of my life.

I kicked my door open when we reached it, dropping Bella's hand and she sent me a strange look. "What?"

"Don't you lock it?" she asked doubtfully.

I shrugged. "No point. Nothing in here worth stealing. Besides, the lock wouldn't keep out anyone that wanted to get in."

She nodded, pretending to understand. But I could see the fear in her eyes. And, worse, the compassion. The sympathy. I clenched my fists crossly and led the way into my room.

Bella followed me in, pushing the door shut behind her and locking it despite what I had just said. Maybe she didn't feel safe with me. Good. She shouldn't.

The both of us were silent for a long time as she looked around the room. Eventually, Bella cleared her throat awkwardly and said, "It's… different."

I snorted and flopped on to my sofa; the only piece of furniture in the room. "It's shit."

Bella came and tentatively sat next to me. "If you don't like it, why don't you go somewhere else?" she wondered quietly, fiddling with her fingers.

I shrugged. I only stayed here because it was close to the hospital. I didn't even stay here because it was cheap. I mean, it _was_ but I couldn't even afford free so that was irrelevant.

She stood up again, not comfortable being sat down, and wandered over to the tiny portion of the room that acted as a kitchen. The kitchen I had never used. Bella opened the empty fridge, and then froze. She looked back at me with a frown. "You don't have any food?"

I sighed and shrugged again.

She shut the fridge and came back over to me, sitting down where she had been before. She opened her mouth and looked for words for a while, but then she just whispered, "Why?"

I just shrugged, as though I couldn't do anything else.

Her beautiful eyes appraised my reactions to her questions, coming up blank. She sighed and shifted awkwardly. Then she bent down and picked something up off of the floor. I didn't look to see what it was.

"Who's this?" she asked after a moment.

I looked over to see what she was talking about, and blinked in surprise when I saw that she was holding my one framed photo of Cody. It had been taken when Cody was a week old and he had looked so gorgeous in that photo that I couldn't help but get it professionally printed and framed. It had cost a fair bit of money, but at least I had him here with me… in a way. I looked up and met Bella's inquisitive eyes. "My…" _son_ "nephew," I lied, looking back down at the photo, rather than into her eyes.

Bella looked back at the picture too, shaking her head slightly. "He's gorgeous."

I squeezed my eyes shut tight, irritated with myself for not stopping her from finding this. Now there would be questions, I bet.

"How old is he?"

There we go. I decided honesty was the best thing to go with here, so I didn't get my stories twisted up. Or, at least, not lies. "Three weeks."

She gasped. "That young?" She traced the frame with her index finger. "So this is a recent photo then?"

"Yeah. That was taken when he was a week old."

"What's his name?"

"Cody," I replied.

Her eyes sparkled with recognition. "Ah. You talk about him sometimes."

My brow furrowed and my pulse raced with panic. "No I don't."

"In your sleep, I mean," she explained, still without looking up.

I talked about Cody in my sleep? Funny. What else had I said?

"Your sister's baby? Or your brother's?"

I blew a breath out between my teeth. "Sister. Her name's… Tanya." Well, it was true… kinda. Okay, she wasn't my sister, but once I got to know her, that was a pretty accurate description of our relationship. At least I wouldn't forget that lie.

Bella smiled and propped the photo of Cody up on the floor, in clear view of both of us. Then she sat back in the chair. "Where do they live?"

"Um…" Hell, couldn't she ask an easier question? Where had Tanya been from again? "Denver in Colorado."

"Wow," Bella said, her eyebrows raised. "That's a long way. Have you met him yet? Cody, I mean."

Hearing his name fall from Bella's lips made something ache in my chest. Some kind of longing for something I could never have. "No." That was the realistic answer, and maybe it would halt the continuous stream of questions.

She smiled again, sadly this time, and rested her head on my shoulder, sending a jolt through me like she had shocked me. I moved away as though she had shocked me, too.

"What's wrong?" she asked softly.

"Nothing." I avoided her gaze and we were both silent for a long time.

Then she spoke. "Edward." She sounded offended.

"What?" I finally looked at her.

She moved closer and curled her legs up underneath her, slowly relaxing. "Why don't you trust me?" she whispered sadly.

I reflected her position so that I was facing her. Then I took her hands in mine and said, "Bella, you have to understand. I don't… I'm not…" I sighed. "I'm not like other guys. I don't trust people. Any of them."

"I _do_ understand. But you have to learn how to trust people again. You can't spend your life alone."

I looked at her sadly and then shook my head. "You don't understand, Bella."

"Well, then, help me to understand," she said crossly. "I want to help you."

"You do help me."

"No I don't!" she exclaimed, getting pretty mad now. Her anger was so cute. "How do I help you?"

I didn't want to go into that. "You just do."

"Edward, please trust me." Her hand came up and cupped my chin. "I don't want you to tell me everything, just… trust me. I trust you."

I had been fine a second ago. But then my mood changed like a light-stick being snapped; her last three words acted as the catalyst- the snapping that caused the colour change. "For fucks sake!" I cried, pushing her hands away from my face. "Stop it!"

"Stop what?" she asked. Her voice didn't shake but her eyes conveyed her sudden fear of me.

"This trusting crap," I replied through gritted teeth. "Don't trust me! If I had the power to walk away from you, _God_, Bella I would run. But I can't do that because I'm in too deep now."

"And you think you're the only one?" she shot at me. "I can't turn away from you. It's too late for that."

"_Never_ say that," I hissed venomously, getting up from the sofa and turning my back on her. "It's never too late."

She was quiet for a moment, and then she stood too. She touched my arm and I cringed away. I knew it would hurt her feelings, but I didn't know what else I could do. This girl trusted too easily. She attracted danger like a fucking magnet and she didn't seem to notice. Or if she did notice, she didn't seem to care. I couldn't let her trust me and I couldn't let me trust her. I wasn't good for her, I wasn't safe. And she deserved better than me.

She broke the silence first. Of course. "Why are you so mad at me for trusting you?"

I slowly turned to face her. I looked her in the eye, so she would see that I was being serious. "Because letting you trust me is like leading a lamb to the slaughter house." I sighed and decided to give her an analogy. "Have you ever played that game? Where you fall backwards and someone catches you from behind?"

She nodded.

"No one's going to be waiting to catch you, Bella."

She frowned, trying to find the meaning in my words. "But… you're my bodyguard. I'm supposed to be able to trust you."

I couldn't help but feel, in that instant, that I was giving away far too much. This girl wasn't stupid; she could figure out what I was hinting at easily if she tried. But the image of me she had in her mind had a halo floating over its head. It would take a lot to topple the halo she had super-glued on. Why was she so _stubborn_?

When I didn't reply, she moved closer, coming in front of me and looking me in the eye. Then she spoke again. "I can't let you go and I can't stop trusting you. Nothing you say is going to make the blindest bit of difference to me."

"Why not?" I hissed. "Why won't you listen to me when I tell you that I'm not good?"

Her eyes were glazed over with tears she wouldn't let fall. I felt awful that I was the reason behind the tears, but it was better if I hurt her now; it would make the future that much easier.

"Because you are," she answered my question after a pause. "I've only known you a week but I can see that you're so… compassionate. So caring and selfless. You're hurting, I know you are, and I don't know why. But being in pain doesn't make you bad, Edward. It makes you strong." Her hand came up and touched my face again. She held my chin and I leant my head into her palm, as though she were comforting me.

"You're different from everyone else," she carried on, speaking fiercely. "But you're not _bad_ Edward. You're the best person I know. You won't let anything happen to me, I just know you won't."

"But…" I started.

She covered my mouth and shook her head. "No. My turn to talk. Every time I meet your eyes, I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach. When I'm with you, it's like… well, it's like we're meant to be there. And when I walk away, I feel like I've left half of myself behind, like you said. When I touch you, it's like an electric shock. I believe in fate, Edward, and fate brought you to me. So I believe in you."

I groaned quietly against her hand and reached up to pull her hand away.

She caught my arm lightly, her eyes staring into mine, creating a link between us and I had never felt a link so strong. "Don't tell me you don't feel it too. I can tell that you do. It's in your eyes, it's in your touch and it's right here." She brought my hand up and pressed it against my chest. "Feel that."

I felt my heart beat an unsteady rhythm against my palm.

Bella lifted my hand back up again and, this time, placed it over her chest, just above her breast. "See?" she whispered as her unruly heartbeat pulsed against my hand, its timing exactly the same as mine. Then, she took her hand away from my mouth.

I didn't speak, just stared at her. How had she suddenly been so brave to say all of that? How had she realised that we were both in love with each other when I had tried so hard to not allow myself to fall for her?

"Say something," Bella begged quietly after a moment.

"Like what?"

"Tell me I'm right," she whispered. "Tell me you feel it too." She moved closer still, pressing her whole body up against mine.

I fumbled for words for a while, and then I said, "Do you go with your head or go with your heart?"

"Heart," she replied. "Always." She put her little hand against my chest, feeling the beat of my pulse. "The heart is where your true feelings are. Your head tells you what everyone else does. Your head tells you that your heart is being stupid. But your heart is simple; it wants one thing and there's nothing to contradict it. Your head is complicated; it doesn't know what it wants, and can see all sides of the argument. If you follow your head then you're never certain of the choice you're making because there's always another choice you feel you should be following. But with your heart… it's easy. You just do it and there's no rebuttal. No guilt. Or regret." She frowned a little. "What's your heart telling you?"

My heart was telling me to tell Bella I loved her, telling me to warn her about James and run away with her. But Bella was wrong. I couldn't just listen to my heart. I glanced over her shoulder at the photo of Cody on the floor beside us. My head told me to think about Cody. About what had happened to Tanya. About reality.

"I love you," Bella said suddenly. "That's what my heart tells me."

I looked into her enchanting eyes. "I just don't know," I said. "My head rules my heart, Bella. My head knows what's right. But…" My eyes traced the soft plains of her face down until I was staring at her mouth. I lifted my right index finger and touched her much-abused bottom lip. "But… I've never wanted anything so much." I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to sort through my jumbled thoughts. "I can't take it. I can't take you."

"No," she agreed. "You can't _take_ what you already have." And then she stood on her toes and gently touched her lips to mine.

My body blazed with heat and I was suddenly overcome with passion, an instinct so raw and human that I was taken by surprise. It was so fresh, so new even though I had done it a hundred times before. I bent my head down as our lips moved together in perfect synchronisation and her hands came up and knotted in my hair as she pressed her torso as close to mine as it would go. She fitted me perfectly, like a puzzle piece. Her tongue was there, begging me for entrance and I gladly accepted, allowing our kiss to turn into a passionate tango of teeth, tongues and lips as our mouths danced around the other's. Her breaths came quick, short and shallow when she pulled away for a moment and then she inhaled deeply before attaching her lips back on mine and kissing me again.

It surpassed all of my expectations.

At least, until I came back to my senses.

Then I pushed her away, shaking my head. "Stop it, just… stop."

Bella stared at me, hurt. Her chest heaved slightly as she dragged in sharp breaths. "What?"

I took a hold of her shoulders and shook her gently. "Please. Stop this."

"But… _what_?" Her face crumpled in confusion.

"This is so wrong." I shook my head in anguish. "It's not _safe_. I'm dangerous, Bella- please grasp that."

"I don't believe that," she disagreed. "You're not dangerous."

"I am!" I insisted, backing away from her.

"No, you're not. Edward, you won't hurt me!" She took a step toward me and I pushed her away a little too hard. She stumbled backwards and tripped over the photo on the floor, falling to a heap on the floor.

Neither of us moved for a moment. Bella watched me and I watched her right back. But then she reached for the photo that she had fallen over and she bit her lip. "Edward…"

I grudgingly went over and took it off of her as she got back up to her feet. I didn't offer her any help. I turned the frame over in my hand to see that the glass had smashed; there was a tear through the photo. And, like the photo represented the organ, my heart broke in two. This brought everything into clear focus for me.

I had followed my heart and dared to kiss Bella, and Cody had gotten hurt. Not literally, but this was only a sign of what would happen if I didn't listen to my head.

"I… I'm sorry," she whispered, scared of my reaction.

I clenched my fist. "Get out."

Bella was silent for a moment. "How will I get back to the…?"

"Get out!" I yelled, glaring at her.

She looked petrified; her eyes were wide, her wet lips parted as she drew in a quick breath.

"You ruined _everything_!" I shouted, dropping the frame on the floor. "You and your fucking job!"

"I didn't do anything!" she defended shrilly, though tears were starting to leak out of the corners of her eyes. "I'm trying to _help_! It's all you, Edward!"

I took a step closer to her and towered over her head. "Just leave me alone. I never want to see you again."

"You know what?" she said, automatically stepping backward. "That's good, because I never want to see you again either."

The broken pieces of my heart shattered at her words.

She wiped at her eyes and stood there awkwardly, waiting for me to shoot something back at her. When she realised that that wasn't going to happen, she bit down hard on her lip and grabbed the Volvo keys off of the worktop. She looked at me, and I shrugged; she could take the car. Suddenly becoming materialistic wasn't going to help me now.

She turned on her heel, storming toward the door. She yanked at it and the bolt she had carefully locked came loose easily. She looked back at me one last time, and then she was gone.

I picked up the shards of glass from the floor, shaking with anger. Then I went to dump them in the only bin I had- in the bathroom. Once the noise of them hitting the bottom of the metal can echoed around the bathroom, I looked up at myself in the mirror. I looked furious, devastated and absolutely broken. A voice inside my head laughed at me: _Ha. Look what happens when you listen to your heart, bastard_.

"No!" I yelled back at the voice, but the laugh reverberated around inside my mind. I clenched my fist and hit my reflection, over and over and over. The glass cracked and eventually shattered. The sharp edges bit into my skin viciously, crimson blood staining the sink and the broken glass. Once I could no longer see my distorted reflection, I let my knees give out and I sank to the floor as I cried uncontrollably.

Breaking a mirror was supposed to get you seven years bad luck.

_Tough shit_, the voice in my head said.

I had never hated myself so much.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**So messed up… so adorable :S God… I know I always say this but this Edward is so fun to write. That's why most of this is in his POV lol. He's just soo… I dunno. But he always writes himself :)**

**Big surprises in that chapter, huh? Did any of you expect that? If you're worried about their little spat then don't be- they're pretty awful at trying to stay away from each other :L I did like writing this chapter though… it wasn't as I wanted it to be but… well, it's not too bad :)**

**I've been thinking guys… do you think that this should be an M rather than a T? I mean, the language isn't great and the plot's hardly happy either… I know that no one really pays too much attention to the rating anyway (hell, a good story's a good story), but I want your opinion anyway. If it makes any difference, I will **_**consider**_** going into a little more depth when B&E finally decide to… y'know ;) But only consider…**

**OMC. Today I went out for a picnic thing with my friends and family. I was wearing my team Edward hoodie and this totally hot guy walked past us with this pretty blonde girl and when he thought I was out of hearing distance I heard him say to the blonde: "Did you see that girl's hoodie? I **_**told**_** you team Edward rules!" I nearly proposed on the spot LOL Why are the nice ones always dating the pretty blondes with the long legs??? FML XD**

**And what about robsten huh? Are they seriously going to keep denying it now? I mean, every Twilight fan on the planet must have seen those pictures by now… way for keeping it quiet guys XD**

**And just in case you aren't already bored of my pathetic social life… I'm going to see Remember Me again tomorrow!!! :D excitement :D I totally lurve that movie :)**

**Well, next update will probably be Wednesday, maybe Thursday… but you'll have another chapter before Friday so it's not too bad :) God, nearly back to school though and then it'll be like once a week or something :'(**

**But, I am in a really hyperactive mood… have been all day tbh. I think I finally know what it is like to be Alice. So I'm feeling nice enough to give you a sneak preview of the next chapter :D It's all in BPOV this time so… check it out:**

Bang. Bang. Bang.

_What was that noise? I wished it would just go away and leave me to wallow in peace._

_Another bang. "Bella?" Alice's voice, quieter than usual._

_So it was her that was waking me at this godforsaken hour. I didn't get up._

"_Bella?" she called again, knocking a further three times. "Please let me in."_

_Reluctantly, I got up and went to the door. "Alice, can't this wait?" I groaned as I unlatched the bolt and opened the door. It took a moment for my sight to un-blur everything. Then I saw Alice properly. I stared at her tear-stained face, her expression of absolute despair. "What? Alice, what happened?"_

"_Can I come in?" she whispered._

**Okay, okay, more of a cliffie then a sneak preview but… better than nothing??? And I want to give you a chance to guess what the hell is up with our favourite hyperactive friend :D I'll name all of the people who guess correctly in my next A/N so have a stab folks!**

**And… in true Looney Tune fashion… that's all folks!**

**Reviewers get a nice sexy brooding Edward in the post/mail ;) And, seriously, who doesn't want that shit??? Unless you're team Jacob… in which case you can have him *grumbles***

**Thank you all :D**

**Steph**


	14. 13: Caffeine, Alcohol and Chocolate

**Previously…**

_I picked up the shards of glass from the floor, shaking with anger. Then I went to dump them in the only bin I had- in the bathroom. Once the noise of them hitting the bottom of the metal can echoed around the bathroom, I looked up at myself in the mirror. I looked furious, devastated and absolutely broken. A voice inside my head laughed at me: Ha. Look what happens when you listen to your heart, bastard._

"_No!" I yelled back at the voice, but the laugh reverberated around inside my mind. I clenched my fist and hit my reflection, over and over and over. The glass cracked and eventually shattered. The sharp edges bit into my skin viciously, crimson blood staining the sink and the broken glass. Once I could no longer see my distorted reflection, I let my knees give out and I sank to the floor as I cried uncontrollably._

_Breaking a mirror was supposed to get you seven years bad luck._

_Tough shit, the voice in my head said._

_I had never hated myself so much._

********

_Pretending I'm ok; no regrets today,_

_But your green eyes own me; and I just feel lonely._

_Deep in thought of you;_

_Not your fault it's nothing that you've put me through._

_Didn't think that I'd need you._

_I said a prayer for you; felt I needed to._

_I was wrong, baby._

_I wish I'd held your hand; tried to understand._

_So here's a sorry from me_

_**-I Said A Prayer For You, Girls Aloud**_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 13- Caffeine, Alcohol and Chocolate**

**Bella POV**

I wiped furiously at my eyes as I ran out of the main door and into the rain. I was almost thankful for the rain because it hid my tears.

I sniffed and rubbed at my wet eyes again as I walked slowly down the road. It wasn't until I was only a few feet away from the shiny, silver car that I realised that I was walking slowly on purpose; I was waiting for him to come after me. To grab me from behind, sweep me into his arms and apologise profusely. I bit back a sob when I looked over my shoulder and saw nothing of the sort. I had been watching far too many rom-coms.

I clicked the button on the key ring and the Volvo's lights flashed at me. I sighed and climbed into the front seat, unable to stop myself from glancing back again. He didn't want to come after me so much that he was letting me steal the car he had fallen in love with. And that hurt so much.

I had given everything to him in that apartment. Told him that I loved him, despite his obvious hatred of himself. Despite his living conditions. Despite the pain I saw echo in his eyes. And he had knocked me down the moment I let him see my vulnerable side. Men were bastards. All of them. They didn't care about how we felt. As long as they got what they wanted from us they were happy to see us hurting.

But then… what _had_ Edward wanted from me? The fame? He had gotten his photo on the front page of a newspaper; was that him satisfied? The money from the job? But then surely he'd keep the job for a while longer? He couldn't have been after sex because otherwise he wouldn't have tossed me so early in our relationship.

Our relationship. I laughed at myself mentally. We didn't have a relationship. Well… I was his employer. That was how he'd seen me all along. The employer he didn't really like. _You ruined everything! You and your fucking job! _What did he _mean_? How had being my bodyguard for a tiny little _week_ done anything to him? How could a week change anything?

It hadn't even taken a week for him to get me under his freaky voodoo spell. You know, the one where you can't think about anything else, no matter how hard you try. The one where walking away from them hurts. The one where you can't see the rest of your life without them, even if you don't really know them.

Love sucks. I remembered Edward's theory that humans existed only to love. But what was the point? When you loved someone, you'd only lose them. You'd be torn apart someway or another. I had just been stupid enough to believe the false emotions he had poured into that kiss. To believe that when he had said that he had never wanted anything so much, he had been referring to me. To believe that he knew how I felt and felt the same way about me.

I wiped at my eyes again and stuck the keys into the ignition. Edward wasn't going to come now. I snorted at myself. Of course he wasn't going to come; I had split the only photo he had of his nephew in half. I don't know why I presumed that it was the only photo he had, but there was something in his eyes when he talked about Cody… like loss… or grief. I also had the most uneasy feeling about that baby… like… it was almost as though Edward were lying. But why would he lie? What did he have to hide about a baby nephew?

I firmly pushed Edward out of my mind as I drove home. Well… back to the hotel. I had been thinking about investing in a home in LA. I liked it here and I had the money to spare after all. It would be nice to have somewhere to come between concerts, somewhere to leave all of my stuff, rather than cart it all around with me. Maybe somewhere to share with someone; live with someone else for the first time in more than four years. But now that Edward and I had fallen out I couldn't see the appeal in staying here. I was almost tempted to just drive, drive, drive and not stop until I was far away. But I had responsibilities here.

I slammed the door of my empty apartment behind me and dropped the keys in the dish by the door, pleased to finally find a use for that bloody ambiguous dish. I had sat and stared at it a few nights ago, wondering what it was for. Yes, that had been an attempt to distract myself from my rather inappropriate thoughts about Edward Cullen. I wished I could use that same distraction now but I think I found out what that insignificant white bowl was for.

So I sat down on the sofa and turned the TV to some comedy quiz show, hoping that that would work. But nothing they said was funny. Not when I was in this state of mind. I got up and went into the kitchen, opening the fridge and taking out the complimentary bottle of white wine that I hadn't touched in all of the three weeks I had been staying in this hotel. They hadn't been aware of my age when they put this in the fridge, thank God. I grabbed a glass out of the cupboard and opened the wine, pouring a glass to take through to the living area. Then, after a moment of staring at the wine bottle, I muttered, "Screw that," and took the bottle through with me.

Half an hour later, I had drained the whole bottle, and I was starting to see the funny side of what the guys on the TV were saying. I was starting to understand the references. Maybe this was what you had to do to enjoy this crude television; down a whole bottle of wine.

I got up off of the sofa in the next ad break and hunted through the fridge for some more complimentary alcohol. The only thing I could find was lager, and I didn't really like that. But, hey-ho, it would do its job, so I took the six-pack back through to the living room.

***

_Bang. Bang. Bang._

Ow. My head was throbbing like someone was kicking me in the head. Only once in my life had I had a hangover this bad and that was when someone spiked my drink with half a bottle of Vodka. My body didn't deal well with alcohol. I blearily opened my eyes. The TV was still on, but my head hurt too much for me to bother trying to work out what was showing; the empty bottle and glass sat on the floor by my feet, as did two empty lager cans. The third was half-full in my hand.

I groaned out loud and shut my eyes again, letting my head fall back against the sofa. You would think that this motherfucking hangover would be enough to make me forget why I was in this state. Huh. As if.

_Bang. Bang. Bang._

What _was_ that noise? I wished it would just go away and leave me to wallow in peace.

Another bang. "Bella?" Alice's voice, quieter than usual.

So it was _her_ that was waking me at this godforsaken hour. I didn't get up.

"Bella?" she called again, knocking a further _three_ times. "Please let me in."

Reluctantly, I got up and went to the door. "Alice, can't this wait?" I groaned as I unlatched the bolt and opened the door. It took a moment for my sight to un-blur everything. Then I saw Alice properly. I stared at her tear-stained face, her expression of absolute despair. "What? Alice, what happened?"

"Can I come in?" she whispered.

I nodded and wordlessly stood aside to let her in.

Alice went right through to the living area and sat on the sofa. I knew something was really, _really_ wrong when she didn't comment on the empty bottle and cans. I left her sat on the sofa for a moment as I went to my kitchen and turned on the kettle, throwing some aspirin down my throat because God knew I wouldn't be able to speak to Ali in this much pain.

Both of us were silent as I made us both black coffees; I didn't bother to make Alice her usual de-caf. I could tell she needed this caffeine boost- and that meant something bad.

"What's wrong?" I asked quietly as I passed her the coffee, sitting down next to her. I pressed the off button on the TV remote and curled my legs up underneath me as I waited for her reply.

"I… I…" Alice stuttered, like she didn't know what to say.

I looked at her – truly looked at her – and I knew that it wasn't something small. I had never seen her so rough. "It's okay. Whatever it is, Al, it'll be okay in the end. You know that." I smiled slightly and then quoted her favourite saying. "'Everything will be okay in the end. If everything's not okay, then it's not the end.' Remember? Alice?"

Fresh tears trickled down her cheeks. "Oh, Bella," she squeaked. "I don't know what to do."

"Just tell me," I said. "And we'll sort it out together."

She looked down and traced the rim of her mug. "I don't know but… There's this thing… well, a possibility…" She sighed and looked back up at me. Her voice was flat when she said, "I think I'm pregnant."

I stared at her for a moment. Then I took a deep breath and said, "Okay. Um… okay." I bit my lip. "What makes you think that?"

Alice took a sip of her coffee, and then put it down on the table. She ran her tiny fingers through her short hair. "I've skipped two periods. I tried to put the last one down to not eating right and… stuff. I suspected it, but I didn't acknowledge it. I just pretended like everything was fine, even to myself. But now I've skipped a second, and I threw up this morning, and everything smells funny, and I have these strange dreams and I'm getting _fat_! And… I just… I just _know_, you know?"

I nodded, even though I didn't know at all. I glanced at the clock, sighing internally when I saw that it was only nine am. "Do you know for sure?"

"I haven't taken a test or anything. But I don't need to." She took my hand and pressed it to her belly. "See?"

I frowned. Her usually flat stomach was a tiny bit convex, and the unusual teeny tiny bulge was hard; obviously not just a big lunch. "It's Jasper's right?"

She rolled her eyes at me. "Of course. But… I can't tell him. He's only in his first year at Uni. You know his dream to be a lawyer; I can't ruin that for him."

"He can still do that," I told her. "But what about you, Al? You're still in high school," I pointed out.

"I know."

"Maybe you should go to the hospital?" I suggested gently. "Just to check?"

Alice nodded slightly. "Maybe." She looked around herself, taking in the state of my living area for the first time. Then, she changed the subject by picking up the empty wine bottle. "Who's been round for a drink, eh?"

I blushed. "No one."

Her eyes widened. "You drank a whole bottle of wine yourself?!"

"And more," I admitted shamefacedly, gesturing to the cans littered across the floor.

Alice stared at me. "Jeez, I'm sorry. You must have a killer hangover."

I nodded warily.

"What _happened_? Bella, I know you, and you don't drink. Ever. Not intentionally, anyway." She looked at me, and I could see the accusation in her eyes.

"No!" I said before she could voice it. "No, Alice, nobody forced me to drink anything."

"Well, then, why did you?"

I sighed and got up off of the sofa, taking the cans and ditching them in the trash. I put the full cans back in the fridge, and put the glass in the sink as I mulled over what to tell Alice.

"Bella." Her tone had done a complete one-eighty from small and sad to stern and commanding; she'd make a great Mum. "It was Edward, wasn't it?"

I should have known she'd guess at least that much. We had had numerous girl chats about Edward and my feelings for him; Alice could tell when I was lovelorn. I went and sat back down next to her. "Yes," I confirmed. "Yeah, we… fell out." _Understatement of the century._

"How did you fall out just like that?" Alice asked. "Yesterday you were all: 'oh, Alice, he's so wonderful'."

I snorted at her imitation. "I tried to get closer to him and he pushed me away. He won't let anyone in, Al."

"You have to stop obsessing over him, Bella," Alice said.

I shrugged. "Don't worry about that; my obsession's been cut short," I told her.

"Why?" She leant forward and picked her coffee up again, more relaxed now that her bombshell was off of her chest. That was the best thing about Alice. No matter what was going on at her end, she was always eager to help out a friend in need.

"He quit."

Alice was silent for a moment. "Why?"

"Because everything is my fault," I quoted him sadly. "Me and my fucking job."

"Bullshit," Alice said bluntly. "That's absolute _bull_ Bella! What did you ever do to him?

"I dunno." I sighed and looked out of the window at the cloud-spotted blue sky. "Maybe I was too pushy?"

"Why? What did you say?"

I looked over at Alice again. "I told him I loved him."

Alice twirled a strand of ebony hair in her finger. "What did he say?"

"He kissed me." I frowned. "And then he pushed me away."

Al rolled her eyes. "Jeez. Doesn't this sound a little weird even to your ears? You know, a little bi-polar?"

I nodded.

"Well… how do you think he feels?"

"I don't know. He's so…" Was there even a word for what Edward was?

"Frustrating? Confusing? Wonderful?" Alice suggested teasingly. She tossed my mobile phone at me. "Just call him. I'm sure he feels as shitty as you do."

I shook my head and slipped the phone on to a table. "You didn't see him, Al. He was mad. Really mad."

Alice was silent for a long moment, and then she said, "You wanna know what I think?"

"What?"

"I think you need to forget about him. Screw that. Let _him_ come crawling back to _you_."

"But what if he doesn't?"

"Then he's not worth this shit."

I nodded slowly, pretending to agree. The thing was that even if Edward wasn't worth the mud off the bottom of my shoes, I wouldn't care. People said that when you met 'the one' you'd just know. I hadn't understood what the hell they were going on about but now… well, now I could see it. Edward was my 'one' and nothing he did to me was ever going to stop me loving him. He had stolen my heart now.

And what do you do when you have something stolen from you?

You steal it right back, that's what you do.

Or, at least, it was what I was going to try to do.

***

The following days passed in a blur. I think Alice had spoken to Emmett about Edward leaving, since he didn't ask about my bodyguard's absence, nor did he comment. However, his expression said more than words could have.

Alice didn't bring up the baby again, so neither did I. She knew that if she needed someone to talk to, then I'd be here for her.

I was so busy. I did numerous interviews regarding my upcoming national concerts, a fair few photo shoots and, of course, I recorded more songs for the album. And then there was school.

You'd think that with how busy I was, I wouldn't have time to dwell on Edward. You'd think wrong.

During the daytime, everywhere I looked I would see him. I could turn around and he'd be right there, on the corner of the street I was walking down. But then I'd blink and he was gone.

During the night time, I couldn't sleep without dreaming of him. Nightmares. So I took to sleeping less and swimming more. Whenever I woke gasping at five in the morning, I'd give up on sleeping and go down to the hotel pool, swimming furious lengths until my limbs burned everywhere and I could barely think straight. I thought that was a good thing. Naturally, Emmett disagreed.

This had been going on for exactly a week now. At least, it had been exactly a week since I had seen Edward. In the last week, I had dropped more than half a stone **(um… I think that's seven pounds?)** in weight. That was what the argument was about this morning. That and the fact that I wouldn't eat anything.

"Bella, you're wearing away!" Emmett said furiously as I made myself another cup of coffee; I was practically living on a diet of caffeine, alcohol and chocolate. Yeah, yeah, cigarettes would be more impressive than chocolate but I had tried that years ago and smoking was so not my style.

"I'm fine, Em," I said, stirring the coffee absent-mindedly as I stared out of the window down at the street below.

Rosalie decided to interject then. "Bella, I agree with Emmett. You're always on the go; when you're not working you're swimming up and down that bloody pool like there's no tomorrow. Take a break."

Emmett mumbled an agreement.

"I sleep at night, don't I?" I pointed out, still not lifting my eyes. "That's a break isn't it?"

"A _proper_ break," Rose said. "I tell you what…"

But then something caught my eye out of the window and Rosalie's voice became a background hum as I stared at the back of the man's head. You couldn't really pick people out from all the way up here, but that hair colour… I had only ever seen it once before. The sun reflected off the coppery shade, making it shimmer in the light, and I felt my pulse pick up. My hand was frozen around the teaspoon in my coffee, my eyes fixed on the Edward lookalike.

And then he turned a corner, disappearing from sight, and everything went back to normal. Like time sped back up again. I shook off the feeling of discomfort I had, and turned my back on the window, facing Rosalie and tuning into her words.

"What do you think?" she asked eagerly, a smile on her devastatingly beautiful face.

I frowned when I realised I had missed her whole idea. "Um… sorry, Rose, zoned out for a second there. What did you say?"

She sighed, but repeated her idea. "I said that I'll book us in for a day at the spa round in the posh part of Layton. A nice relaxing day for the both of us. Emmett said you're free all day Friday so how about then?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Spa? Um… no offence, Rose, but that's really not my thing…"

"We can invite Alice?" Rosalie said, begging me with her eyes. Rose loved Alice. See, Rosalie was a rising star in the supermodel industry, which was something I would never be able to appreciate. But Alice? Alice had the right amount of enthusiasm and more.

I bit my lip, thinking of Alice's baby problems. "Alice is going through a… tough time…" I sighed when I saw the expression Emmett was shooting at me. It clearly said: _don't get started on excuses because you're going whether you like it or not_. "Fine. Book it. But just for the two of us."

***

I had known that agreeing to the spa thing had been a bad idea when the masseuse commented on how skinny I was the moment we walked in. The rest of the 'relaxing' day passed in the same fashion. Why people chose to go to those places, I would never know.

What made it worse was that I just wished I could have gone with Alice instead. She had booked her hospital appointment for the same afternoon, and I felt awful that I couldn't go with her. Considering that I was the only person she had told. Well, Jacob had caught wind of something going on at school, but he didn't know _what_.

Alice had insisted that it was okay and she didn't mind, but I hated the thought of her being alone in a hospital waiting room. Stupid spa day.

I was relieved when it was over to be honest.

"I had a lot of fun today," Rosalie said outside of her and Emmett's hotel room. Even though she and Em had been dating for about a year now, we still hadn't really clicked. She was nice and all, but with her career and my career, we hadn't really had too much bonding time, and this resulted in our relationship becoming like the awkward one of parents' new partners trying to bond with teenagers. At least, that was the closest example I could think of. I think she had classed the spa day as bonding but I had been so distracted that that idea had been thrown out of the window before it had even been much of an idea.

"Yeah, me too," I lied, eager to get in and call Alice.

"We'll do it again sometime." Rosalie roped an arm around my waist and gave me an awkward hug.

I nodded a vague agreement as she pulled away and unlocked her door.

She smiled. "See you tomorrow, Bella. Sleep well." Then she was gone.

I sighed and went to unlock my own door. But it was already open. I licked my lips nervously, wondering whether to get Emmett, but then I remembered that Alice had a key. Oh God, what had happened?

I twisted the handle and went in, shutting the door carefully behind me. "Alice?" I called tentatively. "Al?" I walked down the narrow corridor and into the living area. There was no one there. I felt my breathing pick up. "Alice? Is that you?"

Then I heard a sigh come from my bedroom and I whipped around to look at my bedroom door. I reached out and took a hold of the cordless lamp on the table next to me, and then I advanced slowly toward my bedroom. I pushed the door open, and waited for someone to jump on me. When nothing happened, I stepped inside and looked around the empty room.

I snorted lightly at myself, and put the lamp down on my bed. I was jumping to conclusions. Maybe I had just forgotten to lock the door.

Suddenly, there was a hand on my shoulder. I jumped and shrieked loudly, looking around to meet the eyes of the last person I expected to see. I let out a shaky breath and took a step backwards from him. "What are you doing here?"

Edward tucked something into his pocket and turned away, a sarcastic smirk on his face. "I guess I just couldn't stay away, huh?"

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Duh duh duuuuh!!!!! Well that was unexpected… sort of… you knew it was Edward all along? Dayum… lol**

**I can't help but feel that I rushed their separation a bit :S But then again, I don't want to write like six chapters of moping and whining and missing each other because I'll get bored. And if I'm bored then God knows what'd happen to you guys XD See, I have a theory that as long as the writer is interested in what they're writing, then the readers are too :)**

**Now, as you guys know, I went to see Remember Me again yesterday and as I was watching I couldn't help but find similarities between Tyler and this Edward. Am I just going crazy or are you guys seeing it too? I mean, the crappy apartment, the tattoos, the moody shit… or, as Aiden calls it the 'brooding introvert crap' :L It's just me, isn't it?? Lol, I over-analyse things :L**

**A few of you are worried about Jacob and I think I can safely say that Jake is not going to pose a threat to Bella and Edward. I mean, they've got enough shit to worry about without him really, haven't they? No love triangles in this story I'm afraid- unless you include Cody lol.**

**The next chapter is the last few days in Edward's POV mostly **_**and**_** you'll be finding out most of the story with Tanya ;) Though he won't be telling Bella… if you can guess who he does tell then you can have a mention.**

**As for the Alice thing… nobody got the baby thing. Which really surprised me but also made me pretty smug that no one saw it coming :L hopefully it's a good surprise… If you don't think it's a good surprise now… well, I can assure you that it's going to be a good thing soon ;)**

**And, finally, I owe you the biggest thank you ever! The response for the last chapter was incredible :) You really made me smile guys, thank you :D *generously hands out sexy brooding Edwards* Now… can we keep it up??? Thank you all so much!**

**Also thanks for the opinions on the rating issue I was having. I think I'll go chuck a quick warning at the top of the prologue for any unsuspecting people (lol) for now. Then I'll just go with it. And if I happen to write anything that warrants an M rating then I will move it up. If I get the guts up to post it though. But nothing will be too explicit; I don't do majorly explicit.**

**This time… reviewers can have Edward waiting for them at home… think of that hair guys. You can run your fingers through it all you want… mmm :) Haha**

**Please review?**

**Thank you :)**

**Steph**


	15. Chapter 14: Angry White Lines

**Previously…**

_I snorted lightly at myself, and put the lamp down on my bed. I was jumping to conclusions. Maybe I had just forgotten to lock the door._

_Suddenly, there was a hand on my shoulder. I jumped and shrieked loudly, looking around to meet the eyes of the last person I expected to see. I let out a shaky breath and took a step backwards from him. "What are you doing here?"_

_Edward tucked something into his pocket and turned away, a sarcastic smirk on his face. "I guess I just couldn't stay away, huh?"_

********

_I will hold on hope and I won't let you choke_

_On the noose around your neck_

_And I'll find strength in pain_

_And I will change my ways_

_I'll know my name as it's called again_

_**-The Cave, Mumford and Sons**_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 14- Angry White Lines**

**Edward POV**

My phone rang loud and annoying, breaking the serenity of my otherwise silent apartment. I groaned, rolled over, and ignored it; I knew who it would be. The sun filtered through the curtain-less windows on to my face, making me squint. My phone stopped ringing then, and the room fell silent again. But, less than a minute later, it started to ring incessantly again.

"Bloody hell," I muttered, sitting up and grabbing the phone. As I had expected, the word _James_ flashed across caller ID. Knowing that he wouldn't leave me alone until I spoke to him, I answered it. "Hello?"

"Why aren't you answering your phone?" he demanded right away.

"Because I was asleep," I lied flatly. "What do you want?"

"I don't just mean today, smart ass," James snapped. "You haven't answered any of my calls since last Tuesday morning, and today is Friday. That's more than a week. What's going on?"

"Look, I've been busy," I said, though that was a fat ass lie. I hadn't wanted to admit that I had quit the job that kept me close to Bella. Ever since, though, I had followed Bella around where I could. Checking out her schedule, her emotional state and just her in general. In both senses of the phrase 'checking her out'.

"Prove it. I don't know if you were fully deserving of the ten thousand I gave you for Cody on Saturday."

I pinched the bridge of my nose and avoided the jive at whether I was doing my Bella-job properly. "I'm doing all of your bloody jobs aren't I?"

"Yes, but I have a source that tells me that you are no longer in close proximity to Isabella Swan," James said and I could hear it in his voice. That… _pride_ that he knew things. That I was never alone.

I sighed, realising that keeping things from my omnipresent uncle was impossible. "I don't work for her anymore, no. But I've been keeping tags on her and I have photos. And videos."

"Can you send them along?" He sounded impressed.

"Yeah."

"Good. Do that as soon as possible, Edward."

I nodded, and then remembered that he couldn't see me. "Yeah."

"Oh, and I had something dropped by for you this morning. It should have come through your letter box, but not as general post." He chuckled darkly. "Goodbye Edward." Then he was gone.

"Bye," I muttered sarcastically, opening the media files on my phone and attaching the relevant photos and videos of Bella to an SMS message to James. When it was sent, I glanced at the door and saw that there was indeed a package on the floor. It couldn't have possibly come through the letterbox, so that meant that someone had busted the lock to drop it in. That didn't worry me as much as it should have.

I went over and picked it up. The box was rectangular and about the same size as a small box of tissues. My brow furrowed as I peeled the thick brown tape off with my grubby, bitten nails and popped the top open. I tipped the box upside down and a metal object fell into my palm. I took the note off of the object and read James' scrawl:

_Time's ticking Edward. Mission impossible won't wait forever._

I looked back down at the metal in my left hand, and then I realised what it was. I dropped the box and tossed the knife into my right hand instead, using my thumb to push the blade out of the holder. A knife. I ran the tip of my index finger along the edge of the blade, watching masochistically as the sharp metal sliced through my skin as though it were butter. It was a good knife.

I pushed the blade back round into the handle, and slid the whole thing into the pocket of the jeans I had worn to bed. Then, I went through to the bathroom and turned on the cold tap, holding my freshly cut finger under the stream of water. The crystal clear water turned crimson red as it rushed down the plughole, and the rusty, salty smell of the blood filled the tiny room.

I turned my hands over and over under the water, my eyes running over each of the scars; hitting the mirror hadn't been such a great idea. Now both the backs of my hands and the palms were decorated with healing scars, the raw red cuts sealing over to just angry white lines.

Angry white lines that would stay there forever.

***

Cody slept soundly next to me as I read through my bank statement. I had seventy-six thousand saved up now. I only needed seven thousand more, and then Cody could have his first operation, but the bank wouldn't give me any more than one thousand as a loan. Apparently eighteen was too young to borrow any more. Well fuck them.

Suddenly, an idea hit me. Was there any way the hospital would operate if I told them that I could get the seven thousand in the next few days? Would they at least put a date on it? Cody was getting worse and worse by the hour and the longer he had to wait, the less likely it was that he would make it through the operation.

I looked down at my son and bit my lip. "It's worth asking, isn't it?" I asked no one in particular. Then I sighed. "I'll be back soon, Cody." I got up and shoved my statement into my back pocket before making my way down to the main infant reception area. There was only one person at the desk and that was the fat nurse. Yeah, the one that hit on me. Disgusting.

"Hi, what can I do for you?" she asked sweetly. If you can call practically whimpering 'sweet'.

There was no way I was having this conversation with her. "Hi, yeah, I was wondering if I could have a word with Cody's supervisor?"

"Of course," she said, picking up her phone. "Hi Carla. Yes, Mr Cullen's here to see you. Cody's father?" She said something else, and then put the phone down and turned to me. "If you wait here, she'll be along in a moment."

"Thanks," I said, and then I went and took a seat. Carla. I had to remember that, rather than just thinking of her as 'that ginger-haired nurse'.

I hadn't been waiting long when Carla came along. I liked Carla. She cared about Cody, which was a lot more than could be said for other people working here. "Edward," she greeted with a smile as I stood up, "what can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you could set a date for Cody's first operation for me?" I asked tentatively, not bringing up money yet.

Carla's smile got wider. "Of course. Come with me to the desk."

I followed her back to the now-empty desk as she went behind and flipped through a huge, official-looking diary.

"It needs to be as soon as possible…" she muttered to herself. "Um… we can possibly do it tomorrow?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah, that'd be great. But…"

Carla looked up, noting my wary tone. "But what?"

I sighed. "I only have seventy-six thousand."

She frowned sadly. "Mr Cullen, it costs eighty-three."

"I know that," I said, running my hand through my hair. "I can get the last seven in the next few days and I…"

"Edward," she cut me off, looking at me with eyes full of sympathy. "I'm sorry, but we can't date these things until you can give us all of the money."

I groaned. "But it's just seven thousand dollars!"

"I know," Carla said quietly. "And I wish that I could let you do it, but I just can't." She glanced up as someone else walked in. "I'll be with you in a second," she said, and then turned back to me. "I'm sorry. Really, Edward, I am."

I let my head fall into my hands. "Will he be okay for a few days?"

Carla was silent for a moment. Then she whispered, "I can't confirm or abate anything. I'm sorry, Edward, I can't let you do this; it's my job."

I looked up at her. "And what if he's not okay? What if he dies and you could have done something to prevent it?" My voice rose as I carried on talking. "Isn't your _job_ to save people? Why does 'people' not include my son?"

Carla shook her head slightly. "There is nothing I can do to change it. If you can get up to eighty thousand, then we can do something, but seventy-six is just not close enough."

"I'll get it," I said firmly, turning away from the desk and going to head to the exit. But I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw a familiar face watching me with critical eyes.

"Miss Brandon?" Carla called from the desk, and Alice stood up and walked over to her, leaving me to stand there and wonder how much she had heard.

Luckily, she must have been finishing whatever she was doing here, because she gave something to Carla, and then turned and looked at me with narrowed eyes. "You have a son?"

Well fuck. I didn't meet her eyes. Neither did I reply.

Alice laughed once and came over to me. "Where does 'infant son' come on your list of important things to tell people in a relationship then Edward?"

I shot her a filthy glare as I slowly realised that she was as well-informed about how badly I had treated Bella as the girl herself was. "I'm not in a relationship."

"You kissed Bella."

"That doesn't put me in a relationship."

Alice looked ready to kill me with her bare hands. "Oh I see. You're like _that_ aren't you? So I bet you're not in a relationship with this kid's Mum either?"

My fists clenched at my sides at the mention of Tanya. "You have no right to say…"

"Bella's my best friend and you hurt her," Alice said stubbornly. "I can say what I want."

"You understand fuck all about me, Alice," I growled.

"Yeah? I understand that you're an asshole, and maybe that's all I need to know." She took another step toward me. "You're an irresponsible prick who cares for no one's feelings but your own."

I snorted and turned away from the tiny girl. "Irresponsible? Coming from the girl who's pregnant in senior year?"

Alice was silent for a moment. Then she said too casually, "What makes you think that?"

"Please," I scoffed. "Why else would you be here?" I looked back at her, taking note of the faint mascara lines and bags under her eyes. "And looking so shitty."

Alice wiped under her eyes when she saw me looking there. "That is none of your business."

"Sure, sure," I agreed. "Word of advice, though. Don't waste your time at this hospital. They do fuck all about anything."

Alice stared at me for a long moment. Just as she opened her mouth to say something, Carla came back through and said, "That's fine, Miss Brandon. You can go now. Come by or call tomorrow and we can tell you your results."

She nodded, and thanked Carla before sending me a lingering glare and leaving.

I stood there for a few minutes, debating whether to go back to Cody or follow Alice. It was the knowledge that I couldn't leave our conversation as I had that had me surrendering with a groan and following Alice out of the doors and along the long hospital corridors.

"What. Do you want?" she snapped when she heard me following her. She didn't stop walking.

I pursed my lips. What did I want? Eventually, I sighed. "To explain."

Alice turned to me when we were outside. "Look, Cullen, I don't know what you think needs explaining, but I don't really give a crap, okay? I have my own problems to sort out; I don't need yours too."

"You don't understand," I said through gritted teeth.

"I understand that you're a home-wrecking bastard that didn't give a shit for my friend. You just wanted a bit on the side; someone outside of the nice little family you have." Alice shook her head at me. "Goodbye, Edward." Then she turned her back on me again and started walking toward her car.

I lunged after her, desperate to make her see the truth. I grabbed her arm.

"Get off of me!" she hissed. "I'll scream, Edward, God dammit, I will."

"I don't care," I said roughly. "Just hear me out. I love Bella, Alice, but I can never _ever_ be with her."

Alice reluctantly appraised me with her eyes. Then she sighed. "Go on."

"Why do you think I have such a perfect life?" I asked after a moment.

She shrugged, clearly not in the mood to talk.

I gestured to a nearby bench, hidden by a pathetic-looking shrub, and she led the way over there, sitting on the bench warily. "You talk, I'll listen; agreed? No stupid rhetorical questions."

"Fine." I nodded.

"And make it quick."

"Sure." I paused. Where did you start? "Okay, well, I know that you believe that I have this kind of alternative life with a nice little family and a pretty blonde wife and kid and crap, but I don't. There is just my son, Cody. His Mum died in childbirth, and I didn't even know her all that well."

"How can you not know her?" Alice asked sceptically.

I nearly thanked the Lord for making her listen. "One-night stand," I muttered. "Last summer, my uncle… said something that pissed me off so I stole his wallet and used his ID and money to get… well, drunk off of my head. I can't really remember what happened, but I woke up next to a girl from Denver whose name I didn't even know; I only knew the Denver thing because she had a tattoo reading Denver on the small of her back." I sighed. "So I left her there and didn't expect to hear anything more of it.

"I wanted to be a doctor so I went to medical school that fall. But Denver girl apparently knew my name and did her research because just before Christmas break, she turned up on my doorstep, six months pregnant with nowhere else to go. At first, I didn't believe her when she said it was mine, but she insisted that she hadn't had sex with anyone else and would get a test if I wanted. So I let her stay, hiding her from my uncle and aunt since they were… well, not really all that nice. They didn't notice a thing.

"Tanya, that's Denver girl, and I talked while she was staying and we agreed to put the kid up for adoption and go our separate ways. But then… she had the baby two months prematurely, on January 28th. I had to tell my uncle, obviously, and he took us to the hospital since I didn't have a car. But there were shitloads of complications and… Tanya died because we didn't get to the hospital in time." I shuddered at the memories, and then took a deep breath before continuing. "They got Cody out and he… he was blue. They told me it was perfectly normal blah blah blah, but it wasn't. They did their operation to stop him being blue and then they realised that it wasn't going to help all that much." I raised my eyes to look at Alice's face. "That was four weeks ago. Now he needs three operations if he has any chance of living, and the first one alone is gonna cost me $83,000."

Alice gasped slightly. Her brow furrowed and she said, "But… I thought you were putting him up for adoption? And what about your school?"

"Huh, dropped out of school months ago," I muttered, picking a pebble up off the ground and turning it over in my palm. "And… that had been the plan. But… she died for him, Alice. And he was so sick that if no one wanted him – wanted to pay for these operations – he wouldn't have lived. I won't let _anyone_ die in vain." I sighed and chucked the pebble back at the ground. "So here I am, trying to get all this fucking money I don't have a hope in hell of getting hold of."

Alice was quiet for a moment and then she said, "I'll help you."

I blinked at her. "What?"

"You were right; I don't understand you. But I want to. And I want to help you." She looked at me. "Bella would too, you know. She would give you everything."

I snorted. "I'm not a charity case. I don't want your sympathy, or your money. I just wanted you to understand."

"Oh grow up!" Alice said sourly. "You might not want our money, but jeez Edward, you _need_ it. What are you going to do when he dies, huh? Are you going to be pleased that you didn't accept my offer, or are you going to regret it like hell?"

She was right. I knew she was right. But… letting her do that felt criminal. It _was_ criminal when you remembered how I was going to repay them in the end. My hand brushed against the knife in my pocket; I had forgotten about it until now.

Alice sighed. "How much do you need for the first operation?"

"Eighty-three thousand bucks," I said reluctantly, "but I've already got seventy-six."

"So you need seven thousand, right?"

I nodded.

"I'll get it for you. By tomorrow," Alice said firmly. "But there's one condition."

"What?"

"Make up with Bella. Please, just go and talk to her. Take your job back or something. Because, God knows you need the money, and she really needs you."

I scoffed. "She doesn't need me."

"You haven't seen her."

I bit back a smile; I had seen her. But telling Alice that I had practically been stalking Bella probably wouldn't go down too well, especially not after she had offered to help me. "Fine," I gave in. "I'll make up with her soon." _As if I could have stayed away for much longer._

"No, now," Alice ordered. "And tell her about Cody. Keeping secrets aren't going to get you anywhere."

I stared at her. "I can't do that."

"Why not?"

I clenched my fist and whispered, "I just can't."

Alice seemed to understand that. "Okay. Well, you'll have to tell her eventually. Just make up with her today and we'll cross that bridge later on."

I nodded and held out my hand. "Agreed?"

Alice smiled and shook my hand. "Agreed."

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**I'm sorry to kind of leave you with the same cliffie twice but this bit was kind of necessary beforehand so you know what Edward's thinking… :) But I am so stoked about the next chapter. I love it :) Little nervous about posting it in case you don't feel the same but I'm sure you'll be kind if you don't like it lol**

**So… Edward's past isn't too unpredictable really. Been through the mill a bit though, hasn't he? And, believe me, that is **_**sooo**_** not it :L Edward has a lot more skeletons in his closet. Bella's harbouring a few of her own, but her closet is practically spotless compared to his XD I haven't even started on that storyline yet but I look forward to it :D**

**Yeah, I have been very inspired in the last few days and I now know exactly how it's going to end. Every stage until the end I have clear in my mind which is very exciting :) I think I'm gonna like writing this one (she says at chapter 14… :L)**

**Congrats to those of you who guessed that he'd tell Alice :) That was: A lot of you guessed Cody, which is understandable but Cody already knows ;) Kinda… well, he was there! Whaddya mean that doesn't count?!**

***clears throat embarrassedly***

**Ooh! Guys! I am gonna be running another round of awards! And these are special :) They're called the class of 2010 awards and there'll be three different rounds, one for every third of the year and then the top three of each round in each category will go against each other at the end of the year for the best of the best. And I want this to include variety so if you're a writer, please start spreading the word! And even if you're just a reader- any mentions are very much appreciated. I don't allow any of my fics to be nominated so it's not for me but if you could please mention it so we get as many nominations as possible please! :D Thanks guys :)**

**Um… I will either post chapter 15 on Sunday or Monday to brighten up going back to school :'( I've actually finished chapter 18 so we'll be okay with every-few-days updates for a while even with me revising ;)**

**You wanna sneak peek? No? Well skip this bit then :L It's in EPOV:**

_Then, I heard the voices outside the room; one was clearly Bella's. I hid behind the door as I heard the key in the lock; the lock that I had forgotten to re-do behind me. Bella came in alone anyway, calling for Alice. I was almost angry with her for being so careless. Didn't she understand that I could be anyone? I could be dangerous? I could be… me?_

_I dug into my pocket and pulled out the knife, staring at it for a moment. I sighed, too loudly. Bella's footsteps stopped for a moment, and then I heard her coming in this direction. A moment later, she was in front of me, her back turned. Defenceless. I advanced silently, the knife gripped in my hand._

_Time's ticking Edward._

_Then, I brought my hand down to the rivet between her neck and shoulder. The wrong hand. The one without the knife in it._

_Bella jumped about a foot in the air and a little cry escaped her lips as she whipped round. Her shocked eyes met mine for a fleeting second and then she calmed instantly and blinked. As though I posed a lot less danger than a burglar. "What are you doing here?" she asked._

_I couldn't help the ironic smirk that lifted my lips as I clicked the blade back into the knife and pushed it into my pocket out of sight. "I guess I just couldn't stay away, huh?"_

**Yeeeaaaah… I know I know, I'm sorry!!! But it will be up in like two days… if you review?**

**I'm running out of ideas of what to offer you… soooo… I'll flutter my eyelashes shamelessly? :L**

**Thanks guys!**

**Steph**


	16. Chapter 15: Losing Control

**Previously…**

_Alice seemed to understand that. "Okay. Well, you'll have to tell her eventually. Just make up with her today and we'll cross that bridge later on."_

_I nodded and held out my hand. "Agreed?"_

_Alice smiled and shook my hand. "Agreed."_

********

_And if tonight ever makes a difference;_

_The way that I feel, the way that I'll remember it._

_I'll take this down 'til the glass remains_

_Swallow the words that I was meant to say_

_It's a long drive back to Vegas skies_

_So why don't I make one more wrong turn tonight?_

_**-Vegas Skies, the Cab**_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 15- Losing Control**

**Edward POV**

Alice and I agreed for me to go round to her and her boyfriend's shared apartment the next morning, where she'd have the money for me. Providing that I made up with Bella.

I didn't have to go home to get my key to Bella's apartment. I had kept it on my person ever since she had given it to me, and that afternoon wasn't any different. I stuck the key in the lock and walked into Bella's suite, not sure whether it would be better for me if she was here or if she wasn't.

She wasn't.

I didn't dwell on whether that was good or bad, because either way I couldn't change it. Instead, I decided to snoop around her room. I went straight through to her bedroom, wondering where to start with my nosing. I ignored the guilt that niggled at me; going through her stuff was nothing in comparison to killing her.

I pulled open a drawer and looked in. Her underwear drawer. How ironic that that drawer would be the one I was drawn to. I looked through her knickers, feeling like a teenage boy all over again as my fingers brushed against a midnight blue pair that my mind could almost _see_ on her body. Some of them were pretty boring- plain and white or the odd flower pattern or stripes. But some of them… the pretty little g-strings and the lacy pairs… I slammed the drawer shut again before I did something crazy in a haze of lust.

I sat on the edge of the bed and had the strangest urge to look under her pillow, so I did. I was surprised to find a tiny notebook and, of course, I had to have a look. So I flicked it open, reading Bella's tiny scribbling of lyrics here and there. Some I recognised, some I didn't. I flicked on and on through the notebook and then I stopped when I read my name. And again. Again. A whole page filled with just my name written over and over again.

I sighed and traced the words. They pressed down into the page, as though she had pressed harder from time to time. I wondered why.

I turned the page but after this it was blank. No more lyrics.

Then, I heard the voices outside the room; one was clearly Bella's. I hid behind the door as I heard the key in the lock; the lock that I had forgotten to re-do behind me. Bella came in alone anyway, calling for Alice. I was almost angry with her for being so careless. Didn't she _understand_ that I could be anyone? I could be dangerous? I could be… me?

I dug into my pocket and pulled out the knife, staring at it for a moment. I sighed, too loudly. Bella's footsteps stopped for a moment, and then I heard her coming in this direction. A moment later, she was in front of me, her back turned. Defenceless. I advanced silently, the knife gripped in my hand.

_Time's ticking Edward._

Then, I brought my hand down to the rivet between her neck and shoulder. The wrong hand. The one without the knife in it.

Bella jumped about a foot in the air and a little cry escaped her lips as she whipped round. Her shocked eyes met mine for a fleeting second and then she calmed instantly and blinked. As though I posed a lot less danger than a burglar. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

I couldn't help the ironic smirk that lifted my lips as I clicked the blade back into the knife and pushed it into my pocket out of sight. "I guess I just couldn't stay away, huh?"

Something in my tone must have rubbed her up the wrong way because her jaw clenched in that adorable anger and she glared at me. "Give me the damn key and piss off already."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Don't you want to know why I'm here?"

"No," she lied unconvincingly.

"So you're not gonna beg me never to leave you again? Not gonna tell me how much you missed me?"

Her eyes narrowed further. "Get your pretentious, cocky ass out of my room." I was coming to realise that Bella only used colourful language when she was mad. Unlike me. I used colourful language all the time. I just used it in excess when I was mad.

I pretended to consider her order. "I'm good, thanks."

Bella huffed angrily and stormed out of the room and into her living area.

I rolled my eyes and followed her, watching her as she made a coffee. She didn't offer me one. What a surprise.

"Get your eyes off of my ass, and fucking leave already," Bella spat without turning round.

I lifted my eyes from her backside, one side of my mouth lifting into a smile. "Now who's being pretentious and cocky?" I snuck up behind her and roped my arms around her waist, pressing myself against her back. I swept her hair over one of her shoulders and gently brushed my lips across the nape of her neck.

"Get off," Bella said angrily. I would have believed her anger had she not been trembling against me.

"Not until you agree to listen to me," I responded.

Bella pressed her hands against the worktop to hold on to her balance. "I'm not in the mood for this, Edward."

I decided that words would only work against me at the moment, so I did what my body told me to. What my instincts told me to, James and his missions be damned. I brushed my lips across her neck again and then kissed the side of her neck, licking gently at her skin, sucking it into my mouth and biting down gently.

Bella drew in a shaky breath, but didn't move to stop me.

So I dropped feather-light kisses down the side of her neck until my mouth was at her collarbone. I moved my left arm from around her hips slowly up so that it was around her tiny little waist instead.

"S…stop," Bella whispered, but it was a half-moan, and there was no urgency behind the word.

I gently turned her round and pushed her back against the worktop. My head wondered what the fuck I was doing, but my heart loved that I was finally losing control.

She tilted her head up slightly and swallowed nervously. "What…?" But she didn't seem to be able to finish.

So I pressed my lips against her jaw, tilting my head to the side and planting kisses all the way along her chin until my mouth reached the corner of her lips. I froze, then, my nose touching the side of her face, my lips a mere millimetre from hers, her chest heaving slightly against mine. The room was silent, save for our heavy breaths, and you could have cut the tension with a knife.

I don't know how long we stood like that, her letting me torture her with my proximity, me allowing myself to give into my longings. Then, two things happened in the same instant. Bella turned her head, ever so slightly, and let her lips touch mine; and my eyes connected with a familiar pair in the window of the hotel opposite Bella's own open window.

As a moan escaped from Bella's mouth and her lips started to gently move against mine, I looked down at his hand, his finger on the trigger, and saw what he was going to do.

"Fuck!" I spat, grabbing Bella's shoulders and pulling her to the floor. I landed awkwardly by her side and she turned and looked at me like I was crazy.

"What are you…?" she started but I clamped a hand over her mouth and held the index finger of my other hand up to my lips, signalling her to be quiet. Then, I took my hand back and got on to my knees, slowly edging up until I could see through the window. But he had gone without even firing the gun.

"Fuck you," I growled, getting to my feet and running a hand through my hair. I clenched my fist and kicked the skirting board before leaning out of the window, trying to see if he had escaped onto the street below us. "Fuck you!" I yelled across the street at the window he had been stood in.

"Edward?" Bella's voice shook as she too got up. "W… What's going on?"

I shook my head and kicked the skirting board again, ignoring the way it made my foot throb. "Nothing. Just… nothing."

Bella shook her head, too. She didn't look convinced. She took my hand in hers and tried to pull me away from the window. "Edward, what's wrong?" When I didn't budge or reply, she came closer to me instead, hugging herself to my side. "Please talk to me?"

I sighed and looked into her terrified eyes.

"What's going on?" she whispered.

"I don't know," I said quietly, looking back across the street, and what scared me was that it was the truth. I only knew one thing, and that was that I was gonna be in a shitload of trouble.

Oh yeah, and Bella was in more than a little bit of danger.

**Bella POV**

I didn't really know what to say. How to react. Maybe he had mental problems. Why else would he be rubbing himself all over my ass one minute and yelling swear words out of the window the next? Maybe he was just bi-polar, like Alice had suggested?

I turned his hand over in mine, and looked down at it. But I gasped at what I saw. "What happened to your hand?"

Edward blinked out of the trance he had fallen into and looked down at his hand in mine. "Oh," he said flatly. "I broke a mirror."

I turned his hand over in mine, tracing the scars and cuts with my fingers. "Did you have stitches?"

He snorted. "No."

I touched one on the tip of his index finger; it looked newer than all of the others. "What happened here?"

His eyes flickered over the cut. "Knife. I cut my finger."

I frowned. "You should be more careful."

The side of his mouth twitched. Then, he sighed and gently pulled away from me. "I should go…" He smiled weakly and then headed for the door.

"I thought you wanted to talk to me?" I said pointedly.

Edward turned back and ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah but that was before…" he trailed off.

"Before?"

He glanced from me to the door and then back again. "I don't know if I should leave you alone," he murmured.

I swallowed, wondering what the hell he was talking about. Then I whispered, "Stay."

He grinned. "I thought _you_ wanted me to get my pretentious, cocky ass out of here?"

Which I had. Until he had won me over with a few little kisses. I went over to his side and looked up into his beautiful eyes. "I didn't mean that and you know it."

Edward gently pulled me into a hug. "I don't know what to do anymore."

"Well, why don't you start by telling me what you came here to say?" I suggested.

He looked at the door again, seemingly unsure of what to do.

"I can make you a coffee?" I offered desperately.

Edward looked back at my face, a warm smile on his. "Okay."

***

I didn't just make him one coffee. For a few hours we sat on my couch, me snuggled between his legs, his chin atop of my head, and we watched some romantic comedies from my DVD collection. After the third film had finished, as had our eighth cups of coffee, neither of us could be bothered to move. We had barely spoken another word to each other since before the movie marathon. But that was okay.

"You gonna put on another one?" Edward asked softly into my ear once the credits had rolled into blackness.

I glanced at the clock, which read just after midnight, and then looked back over my shoulder at his face. "Do you want me to?"

He shrugged. "I don't mind."

I lay my head back against his chest and sighed contentedly. Edward's arm around me tightened protectively. He hadn't really settled all evening, and had been looking toward the closed and curtained window every few moments, like he expected someone to come jumping through yielding a machete or something.

I sighed quietly. "Can I ask you something?" I whispered.

Edward hesitated, and then replied, "You can ask me anything. I can't always promise an answer, but never feel that there's a question you can't ask."

"Why… why did you come back now? I haven't seen you in more than a week and you decide to come back now. Why? Why now?" I twisted in his lap to look at his face.

He brushed a strand of hair out of my eyes, and said, "I don't know." His eyes traced the features of my face and then settled looking into my own eyes. "I missed you," he whispered, "so I came back. I don't really know what I'm doing… but I'll act on impulse and let the chips fall where they may… to an extent."

"This was impulsive?"

He smiled slightly. "Yes. Things could have been very different."

"I don't understand the things you say half of the time, you know," I said, slightly irritated.

"I know." His smile got bigger. "I'm counting on that."

"Ugh!" I exclaimed, letting my head fall on to his shoulder. "You are so annoying!"

He chuckled in my ear. "I know," he said again.

I shifted slightly so that my legs were draping over the side of the sofa, and I was sat the right way round but still seated on his lap. Then I put my head back on his shoulder and gently traced the scars on his hand with my fingers. "Why did you break a mirror?" I asked, wondering whether he'd answer this one.

"I was annoyed at myself." His answer was very flat; emotionless and uncaring.

"Why?"

He swallowed before answering. "Because I let you go without apologising."

"Oh," I squeaked.

His free hand came up and cupped my chin and he lifted my face so that I was looking at him. Then he said, "I'm so sorry. About… what I said to you. I had no excuse to be so… so…"

"I forgive you," I cut him off. His tone was furious, but I could tell that the fury was directed at himself. I didn't want him to do that to himself.

"But I made you _cry_," he said venomously. His fists were both clenched and his jaw was taut.

"It doesn't matter," I whispered.

"Yes. It does." He shut his eyes and shook his head.

I was silent for a moment, and then I said, "Edward, really, it doesn't matter."

He opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by his phone ringing. He looked at the caller ID and pressed ignore. Then, he switched his phone off and threw it halfway across the room. It hit the wooden floor with a clatter, and bounced once, but didn't break.

I looked at him, my eyes questioning, but he just shook his head. "Shouldn't you go to sleep?"

"I don't want to." I was afraid that if I went to sleep, he wouldn't be here when I woke.

"I'll stay," he told me, guessing that that was what I was worried about.

I looked at him. "Will you, though?"

He hugged me close to him. "I promise I'll be here when you wake up."

Then I nodded slowly. "Okay."

He stood up, then, lifting me easily in his muscled arms and carried me through to the bedroom, bridal style. I giggled into his shoulder, and then he dropped me onto the bed. I bounced slightly before sinking into the mattress. I smiled up at Edward, and he looked back down at me.

"I'll leave you to get changed," he said after a pause, and then he smiled slightly and left the room.

I stripped off my clothes and dumped them into the laundry basket in my en-suite bathroom before searching through my bottom drawer and pulling out the Victoria's Secrets pyjamas Alice had bought for me months ago. They still seemed as skimpy as ever. I snorted at myself, and then ripped the tags off, dumping them in the bin before stepping into the deep blue satin shorts, and slipping the matching tank top over my head. Then, I went to find Edward.

He was stood by my kitchen counter, looking out of the window at the hotel across the street. The room was lit only by the street lamp just outside the window. I moved to his side and looked out as well. "What?" I asked softly.

Edward blinked, sighed and then tore his eyes away from the window and back down at me. "Nothing." His eyes ran up and down my body, and then they settled on my face. He pulled the curtain back across the window and then stepped even closer to me, burying his hand in my hair, and gently tilting my head up. "You look gorgeous," he murmured.

I felt a shiver go down my spine and I pressed myself against him. "Come to bed with me?" I suggested, and then I realised how he could interpret that. My cheeks flushed a deep crimson as I tried to put him straight. "I don't mean like that! I mean… I don't want you to stand out here and you look like you could do with some sleep and I don't know if you'd get much sleep on the couch because it's not very… um comfortable and… well, and I've got a double bed all to myself and… um…"

Edward laughed softly. "I'll come to bed with you," he copied my words, his hand leaving my hair and trailing down my back until it was resting on the small of my back. Then he turned me round and pushed me carefully back through to the bedroom.

I slipped under the duvet and wriggled over to one side, switching the bedside lamp on as Edward turned the main light off, cloaking the room in a warm golden glow. Then I watched as he pulled his top over his head, revealing his well-muscled torso, and kicked off his jeans before silently climbing in next to me, stretching his arms up behind his head and closing his eyes. We both lay there without speaking for a few minutes, and then I slid closer to him, tracing the plains of his face with my eyes.

"Stop staring at me," he murmured without opening his eyes.

I blushed and smiled, but didn't take my eyes off of his face.

After another moment, his eyelids lifted and he met my eyes, a sarcastic glimmer in the green depths of his irises. "What?"

My blush deepened and I moved closer still, hesitantly resting my head on his bare chest. If it was at all possible, he was even more gorgeous underneath the clothes. When he didn't move to get me off of him, I lifted my hand and trailed my fingers over his impressive six-pack, feeling the muscles flex and contract under my touch.

He groaned quietly, and his hand came up to my hair again, running his long fingers through my knotty locks. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know," I responded quietly. I lifted my head to look at him, but then something on his shoulder caught my eye. My brow furrowed slightly, and I pushed myself up on my elbow so that I could see it better. It was his tattoo; the one he hadn't wanted to show me. At the memory of his refusal, I shifted my eyes back to his face. He was watching me, his expression completely neutral.

When he didn't rebuke me, I sat up fully, reaching for his arm and twisting it carefully so I could see the ink properly. There was no colour in the tattoo; it was all black, which looked eerie in the gold lighting. It started at the top of his shoulder, and curled round on to his back. I tentatively traced the part of the design that I could see with the tip of my index finger and Edward sighed and rolled over on to his stomach, giving me a full view of the tattoo that decorated his bicep.

It was of a black love heart. Not a girly kind of love heart, but a love heart all the same. It was surrounded in broken barbed wire, which trailed down the length of his bicep, twisting together here and there. It was a part of the wire I had seen before, poking out under the cuff of his top. And now I had full view, I noticed that I had been wrong about the colour. In various places, the inked barbed wire looked as though it pierced his skin and there were tiny drops of red. Blood.

I could feel Edward's eyes on my face, watching my reaction to the image that would stain his skin forever. The problem was that I didn't know how to react. I didn't know whether I should be in awe of the clear devotion and care that had been put into this piece of art, or whether I should be scared that he had chosen to mark himself with an image that could only represent pain I wouldn't even be able to imagine.

After a long and pregnant pause, I whispered, "Did it hurt?"

One side of Edward's mouth twitched. "What do you think?"

I nodded slowly, pressing my palm flat against the image of the heart; it was bigger than my hand. "When did you get it done?"

"My seventeenth birthday. The parlour didn't ask my age."

I followed the barbed wire down his arm with my index finger. "Why did you choose this?"

He shrugged, and the movement made the wire appear to move. "It seemed appropriate."

I didn't say anything in response to that. What could possibly happen to make you feel that this kind of tattoo was appropriate? I moved my eyes down his bare back, and my eyes saw a little line of black on his right hipbone, just above the elastic of his boxers. I moved the tip of my finger down and pressed it gently. "You've got another one?"

"Mmm," Edward confirmed vaguely. He pulled his arm out from under his chest and pulled down the edge of his boxers, revealing the other tattoo. This one was just a word. A name.

"Cody," I read in a whisper. This tattoo was obviously newer than the other one; the skin around it was still red and a little raw. I looked up and met his eyes. "Isn't that…?"

He nodded into the pillow. "Yeah."

That triggered a million questions in me, but I held my tongue. Something in his tone was begging me not to ask why he had a tattoo of his nephew's name on his hipbone. And I respected that. I put my hand over his, and lifted it up, letting the top of his boxers slide back into place over the tattoo.

He pulled his hand free from mine then and draped his arm over me, pulling me close into his side. "You should sleep," he muttered.

I tilted my head up so our noses were touching, and then I said, "One more question?"

"Go on then."

"Why did you push me over earlier?"

He didn't answer. Instead, he closed the gap between our lips and kissed me passionately, his hands planting themselves on my hips and pulling me closer to him. I gasped into his mouth and my hands roamed eagerly all over him. Running over his muscled back, down his sides, up into his hair, down to his ass.

Then he gently but firmly pushed me off of him and reached over and switched off the bedside lamp. "Goodnight, Bella," he said quietly.

"Night," I replied. We were silent for a minute and then I whispered into the darkness, "Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Does your head still rule your heart?"

He was quiet for a minute and I wondered whether this would be another question I wouldn't get an answer to. But then he said, "It's trying to. But my heart has a mind of it's own at the moment."

I smiled slightly. "Mine too." I turned over and fit my head into the gap between Edward's neck and shoulder. Then I sighed contentedly and shut my eyes. "Night, Edward."

He froze for a moment, but then relaxed and curled his other arm around me. "Goodnight."

And then I yawned and fell asleep in his arms. And it was the best night's sleep I'd ever had.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Awwww :) I never intended for that to happen but I felt that they needed some love and we needed some fluff sooo… that was what happened :D But I like it and I really hope that you did too :)**

**I hope it's not moving too fast for you guys but this story is more about the problems they have (well… Edward has) with the killing thing (lol) rather than the getting together :)**

**I just got back from a day out and am absolutely exhausted so this is gonna be short and I'll probably leave out a load of important stuff but hey.**

**Nominations over at the twilight all human awards start TOMORROW guys!!! The link is on my profile (you'll have to scroll down a little bit) and any nominations will be gladly received. And, as I said last time, I'd love it if you could mention them in your A/Ns and persuade your readers to check it out too so that more and more stories have a chance of being nominated :) One thing you can't do is nominate any of my stories since I don't think it's fair :L sorry guys :(**

**Yeah… like I said: short. But this chapter was very long and had a lot of content so I hope you liked it :D**

**Please review!!! Can we get to 700 now? :S or is that asking for a lot? We're on 662 but we've been getting about 40 per chapter… do you think we can up that to 50??? Especially for this chapter ;)**

**Oh, and guesses as to who was going to shoot Bella are more than welcome ;)**

**Thank you all :D**

**Steph**


	17. Chapter 16: The Right Thing

**Previously…**

"_Does your head still rule your heart?"_

_He was quiet for a minute and I wondered whether this would be another question I wouldn't get an answer to. But then he said, "It's trying to. But my heart has a mind of it's own at the moment."_

_I smiled slightly. "Mine too." I turned over and fit my head into the gap between Edward's neck and shoulder. Then I sighed contentedly and shut my eyes. "Night, Edward."_

_He froze for a moment, but then relaxed and curled his other arm around me. "Goodnight."_

_And then I yawned and fell asleep in his arms. And it was the best night's sleep I'd ever had._

********

_I can feel her breath as she's sleeping next to me_

_Sharing pillows and cold feet_

_She can feel my heart; fell asleep to it's beat_

_Under blankets and warm sheets_

_**-Like We Used To, A Rocket to the Moon**_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 16- The Right Thing**

**Bella POV**

When I woke up the next morning, I was still in Edward's arms. I opened my eyes to see him staring down at me.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hi," I said in return, feeling slightly awkward. Then I saw the bags under Edward's eyes. My brow furrowed. "Did you sleep at all last night?"

"Yeah," he replied. "I only just woke up."

"Oh," I said, pretending to buy it.

Edward sighed and then sat up and flung his legs out of the side of the bed. The morning sun that filtered through the gap in my curtain settled over him, reflecting off of his messy, bronze-coloured hair. He stretched, his biceps flexing impressively, and then he leant down and picked up his top off of the floor, slipping it over his head.

I glanced at the clock, which told me it was just after half seven in the morning, before looking back at him as he pulled his jeans up. "What are you doing?" I asked suspiciously.

He looked up at me. "I promised I'd be here when you woke up," he said evenly, "but now I have to go."

I sat up too, my eyes narrowed. "But… it's not even eight o'clock yet."

"Yeah. And I have places to be," he told me, grabbing his socks off of the floor.

"Oh."

He pushed his feet into his converses and didn't bother with the laces. He leant over and kissed my forehead chastely. "See you later." Then he headed for the exit, picking his phone up off of the floor as he went.

I pushed the duvet off of me and almost fell out of bed in my hurry to follow him. "Edward?" I ran out and along the narrow part of the room that was almost a corridor.

He stopped with his hand on the door handle and turned back and looked at me. "Yeah?"

"I…" I went over to him and stood in front of him, running a hand through my hair. "How do I know you'll be back?"

"I promise I'll be back in time to take you to school," he said.

I couldn't help the panic that rose in my chest. Why did I have an awful feeling that he wouldn't be coming back?

Edward obviously saw the doubt in my eyes because he pulled me into his arms and kissed me. When he pulled away, he leant his forehead against mine and said, "I'm leaving my heart with you. Look after it because I'll be back to get it and I want it in one piece."

I nodded. "I will. I'd give you mine in return but you've already got it," I whispered.

He nodded too. "I'll take care of it." Then he smiled before squeezing me one last time around the middle and leaving. But I had seen the sadness in his eyes when I had told him that he had my heart.

I sighed, and went back through to my bedroom, climbing back into bed, but on Edward's side. I buried my face in the pillow and inhaled his scent, feeling my heart flutter excitedly against my rib cage.

**Edward POV**

Fuck I needed a cold shower.

And I needed to _get a fucking grip._

Staying with Bella and kissing her like I had was a mistake. A huge mistake.

So why didn't I regret it?

I didn't hate myself for spending a whole night just watching her sleep, as I should have done. No, I was almost proud of myself. I felt… better for letting her in. I loved her, so letting her see my tattoos was only the first stage of opening up and telling her everything. Answering all of her questions. But I couldn't answer all of her questions. And I couldn't tell her everything.

And I knew that I would never be able to kill her.

I was so confused.

I switched my phone on as I left the hotel through the main entrance, to find that I had fourteen missed calls. The number on the screen was like a punch in the gut. Surely that meant he would have told James? There was no way one person could make all of those calls in one night… was there?

I pressed view and breathed a sigh of relief when my uncle's name didn't come up. Alice's did, though, and that surprised me. I turned down a nearby alley way and leant against the wall as I scrolled through the list.

Suddenly, someone shoved me. I tripped over my feet and fell to the ground before looking up at his face. I smirked as I got back to my feet. "Why am I not surprised?"

"You shouldn't be smirking, Cullen," Aro spat. He held up his phone. "I have evidence."

I pushed him up against the brick wall, my hand at his neck. "You fuckin ass!" I hissed. "What are you doing? This is _my_ job."

"You can't do it though, can you?" Aro rasped. "The special one can't complete the one little job he was given. Why? Oh, only because he's fallen in love with the enemy."

I gripped his throat tighter, unable to come up with a good comeback.

Aro snorted. "Go on then. Kill me. I bet you can't even do that, can you?"

I punched him square in the face and let go of his throat, watching him fall to the ground. "I'm not in love with her," I hissed angrily.

"No?" He wiped at his bloody nose. "Sure could've convinced me. You were practically fucking her up against the kitchen counter."

I kicked him; he was asking for it. "Why were you up there anyway?"

Aro got back to his feet. "I want to prove to James that I'm not the old guy that can't get a job done like everyone thinks I am. But it shouldn't be too hard to make myself look good in comparison to you."

"If you had pulled that trigger…" I couldn't finish my sentence. I couldn't think of what would have happened to Bella had I not been there.

"Then she could have died in your arms? Yeah, you'd have liked that, wouldn't you, you big _girl_?"

I didn't give in to his taunting. "Aro, stay the fuck out of this. This is my job."

He raised an eyebrow. "So why haven't you done it already? If I were doing it instead of you, she would have been dead weeks ago. 'Hey there, Miss Swan, want a cup of coffee?' A little poison, done. She's gone. Why didn't you do that, eh, Cullen?"

"She's paying me," I said bluntly. "And where am I supposed to get this poison anyway?"

"I know a guy that'll get it for me. For free." His eyes sparkled with what he was offering.

"I can't just do things, Aro. I have responsibilities," I refused.

He laughed. "Oh, yes, your ickle baby. Well, that was a bit of a fuck up in the first place wasn't it?"

My fists clenched at my sides. "Don't speak about Cody like that."

"You're just a big pansy, aren't you, Edward?"

I turned my back on him. "I don't have to deal with this."

"You leaving Isabella alone then? For me to do away with?"

Reluctantly I looked back at him. "Why do you want to kill her so much? Why do you care?"

"I've done a similar job for James before. He paid me well. And I've been his second in command, so to say, ever since. Four years. I like my post. I don't want a runt to take it."

I sighed. "I have no interest in staying with James once Cody's better. When he can be transferred I'm moving away. Far away. You can…" Suddenly something he had said clicked in my mind and my blood ran cold. Four years. Bella's Mum had been dead for four years; the murderer still hadn't been caught. "What was the similar job?"

He grinned. "You're not stupid are you Edward?"

I ran my hand through my hair. "What does James have against her?!" I yelled. "Why. Does he want to make her life hell? What's Bella ever done to him?"

Aro shrugged.

I shook my head at him. "Didn't you ask those questions when you were in my place? Didn't you wonder why you had to murder someone?" The fury and venom in my tone got stronger as I spoke.

"It was my job, man. I just did it." Aro took a step toward me. "Take a leaf out of my book. Just doing it works. Dwelling on emotions and shit just puts you in a mess."

It was too late for that now. I sighed again. "I'm going."

"Are you really gonna leave me alone?" Aro asked.

"Why wouldn't I?"

He pressed some buttons on his phone and then handed it to me. I looked down at the photo on the screen. A photo of me and Bella staring into each others' eyes. And even I could see the love on my face. I passed it back to Aro. "So?"

"I could take it to James."

"You think I don't know that? You won't, though. If you were gonna do that, then you would have done it already." I turned my back on him and started to walk away. "Oh and Aro?" I called over my shoulder. "You need a special card to get into that hotel." I waved mine at him. "Tough luck old man." I laughed once and then jogged off down the road, heading for the address Alice had given me the day before.

***

I went up the staircase to apartment 5a, my eyes wandering over the peeling wallpaper and yellowing skirting board. I wondered why Alice chose to live here when she clearly had enough money to stay in a better place. But then I remembered how she had said something about it being her boyfriends' place, and I realised that she probably preferred this to a shiny posh house.

I heard her voice before I even turned on to the fifth floor though. "It's not my fault!" she shouted. "Jazz, you can still do what you want to do! This doesn't make any difference to anything!"

"Yeah, it's just a baby," a male voice retorted as I turned on to the fifth floor. "When did you plan on telling me, Al?!"

"I… now… I… Jazz? Jazz, where are you going?!"

A door along the corridor opened and a man with honey blonde hair stormed out of it. He brushed past me and headed for the stairs.

"Jasper!" Alice called, running out after him. She stopped when she saw me. "Oh. Um… hi."

I looked at her face. Tears ran down her cheeks and her eyes were red and raw; she was a mess. I pursed my lips. "Um… I'll… come back later."

"No!" Alice said, almost too fast. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hands and then sighed. "No, come on in. I… I've got your money…"

I looked back over my shoulder in the same direction as the blonde guy. "Honestly, I can come back…"

"Just get in my goddamn apartment," she snapped.

I nodded and went through the door, like the good guy I was. _Yeah. Right._

Alice followed me in, shutting the door behind her. She sniffed slightly and went over to the kitchen cupboard. I looked around the apartment; there was smashed china on the floor.

"Um, Alice," I said hesitantly, "you can go after him, if you want. I'll wait. Or come back."

She shook her head, pulling a cake tin out of the cupboard. "He probably needs time to think." She sighed and turned to look at me. "I… I called the hospital this morning. The results were positive; not that I didn't expect as much. Jazz overheard and… well, it took him a little by surprise."

I nodded, looking at the floor. I knew what it was like to suddenly have that shit thrust at you. Fucking terrifying, that was what it was like. We were both silent as Alice turned back to the tin and shifted through it.

"Um… seven thousand…" she said a moment later, coming back over to my side and pressing a wad of cash into my hand. "It's all there. I withdrew it from my account last night."

I looked up at her again. "Thank you," I said sincerely. "So much. I… I'll pay you back…"

She was shaking her head before I was finished. "No. Just… take it. I can spare that much. And it's not for you. It's for Cody."

I opened my mouth to argue, but Alice didn't look in the mood for an argument, so I just nodded and pocketed the money. I'd pay her back one day, though.

"Did you make up with Bella?" she asked quietly.

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Why… why did you fall out in the first place?" Alice bit her lip nervously. I wondered whether she picked it up off of Bella.

I sighed, and decided that I might as well tell Alice the truth. "She broke the only picture I had of Cody and I… overreacted."

"You and your fucking job," Alice mumbled my words.

My brow furrowed. "She told you about that?"

"Yeah. She told me everything. You should have seen her." Alice laughed slightly. "God, she has it bad. Please, please don't hurt her. She's so in love with you and I can't work out whether you're good for her or not."

I gritted my teeth; way for making this harder, Alice. God, my life was fucked up beyond belief. "I don't want to hurt her," I told Alice truthfully. I didn't want to… but I had to.

Alice sighed and moved to pick the china up off of the floor.

"Do you want some help?" I offered, bending down to help her.

"It's fine," she said. "Just… go pay in the money. I should get ready for school anyways." She snorted. "School on a Saturday. Which retard came up with that?"

I smiled at her, but helped her finish clearing up the china.

"Thanks," she said when we were done.

"No problem. If you ever want anything…" I just trailed off and shrugged. "You've got my number, right?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Likewise to you."

"I'll remember that," I said. "Um… good luck with… everything."

"Yeah. You too."

I smiled slightly at her, and then awkwardly left the apartment. I hoped Alice and I would get a little closer; she seemed a nice person, but everything between us was so awkward and tense. Maybe it was just because we could both emphasise with each other in a way. I knew what it was like to be bombarded with something like that. And Alice… even though she had only just found out about her baby… I had seen in her eyes that she already knew the kind of love I had for Cody.

Because she already felt the same way about her kid.

***

Carla was at the desk when I went into the infant reception area. I thanked any deity that was listening as I approached. Carla looked up from her screen and smiled weakly at me. "Oh. Hi."

"I've got it," I told her. "The money. All of it."

She nodded. "Okay. Do you want to come into my office?"

I followed her along the corridor and into a little office. She went behind the desk in there, and gestured for me to take the seat opposite. As she searched through her top drawer, I looked up at the notice-board above her head. One thing caught my eye. A small photo of a little girl, about two years old. She had Carla's red hair and smile, and she looked absolutely gorgeous.

"Is that your daughter?" I asked, unable to keep the surprise from my voice; Carla hadn't mentioned a daughter before. Mind you, I was hardly friends with her. She was my son's supervisor.

Carla looked behind at the photo, and then looked back down. "Yeah," she mumbled.

"What's her name?"

"Jessie," Carla replied as she drew a diary out of her drawer.

"She's gorgeous," I said, looking back at Carla's face. Then I noticed the tear fall down her cheek. Shit. What had I said? God, Cullen, you're such a jerk.

Carla swallowed and hastily wiped the tear away. "There's something I should tell you…" she said quietly. "I… I already arranged for him to have his first operation this afternoon. I tried calling you this morning but your landlord said something about your power being disconnected…?"

"Oh. Yeah, that's because…" Suddenly I realised what she had said. I stared at her. "You did it? But… But I thought you said…"

"I know what I said," she sighed. "But I thought about it and… well, you're right. Money doesn't matter in the face of saving a life."

"What would you have done if I couldn't get the money?" I demanded.

She didn't reply. Instead, a blush rushed up to colour her cheeks in a way that reminded me painfully of Bella.

I realised what she didn't want to say. "You paid it, didn't you? All of it?"

Carla nodded. "I know I should have asked you but…"

I breathed a sigh of relief. "No, no, it's fine. Thank you so much." I pulled my rarely-used cheque book out of my pocket and wrote the cheque out to her instead. "Here." Then I handed her the remaining seven thousand.

She smiled slightly at me. "You're welcome."

"Why… why did you do it?"

She lifted her eyes and met mine. Then she pursed her lips and said, "I was in the same position as you once. But… I couldn't afford the operation." She blinked and another tear slid down her cheek. "I know what it's like to lose a child, Edward, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I couldn't sit by and let the same thing happen to anyone else. Especially not someone else who cares so much."

I looked back at the photo of Jessie again and the photo had a new meaning. I nodded in understanding. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I understand." She wiped her eyes and cleared her throat. "Now, um… Cody will be operated on this afternoon at three twenty, and you can watch through the window if you choose to. As you've been informed, he will have a thirty per cent chance of making it through the operation and he will be at high risk for the next week. However, after twenty-four hours you will be allowed to see him as long as you have a mask and latex gloves.

"After that, if everything looks good and the doctors say he's well enough to go through with the second operation then it will be scheduled for two weeks from today, as they need to get the second operation done in as quick succession as possible." Carla's green eyes met mine. "And you'll have to have paid the money by then, or they can't operate."

"What happens if they can't operate?"

"The hospital will need the life support machine elsewhere. If Cody has to stay on it for longer than two weeks then either you'll have to pay for it or he'll be taken off it."

I ran my hand through my hair; I knew that he wouldn't survive off of it after major surgery. "Two weeks? How much is the second operation?"

"It's a bit less this time. Seventy thousand, rather than eighty-three," she told me.

I nodded. "Okay. Okay, let's do it."

"Are you sure?" Carla asked.

"One hundred per cent," I responded.

Carla smiled at me, and then passed the paper work over the desk.

For the first time in weeks… no, months, it felt as though a weight had been taken off of my shoulders. I was finally, finally starting to do the right thing for my son.

And I knew that I'd always do that. No matter how much it cost. Like Carla had said, money doesn't matter in the face of saving a life.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**I just want to point out (again) that I really don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to the hospital stuff. I hope that doesn't come across in the writing so that's why I'm telling you here- this is fiction and please don't count on anything like that in this story to be true.**

**Well… I hope you guys are happy with the progress our little brokenward is making :) Both with Bella and Cody… and Alice here and there ;)**

**I think everyone that guessed who had the gun guessed correctly :L It was a little predictable so… yeah :L But I just want to say that Aro isn't what he appears to be. There's a reason why I put James as the evil guy in command… I'm not going to say any more than that as it's kind of the crux of the whole story :L But I'm interested to see what you make of that ;)**

**I just want to quickly thank all of you for the phenomenal response for the last chapter. We got the 50 reviews overnight! I honestly was so surprised and cannot thank you enough :D Do you think we can keep it up for a bit? :) Thank you :D**

**Now… if you're wondering what's in the next chapter… there's a little more B&E fluff, a bit more Alice and what's going on at her end and a little more of Cody ;) And that'll probably be up on Friday or Saturday :)**

… **You know the drill now ;)**

**Thank you! :D**

**Steph**


	18. Chapter 17: Chocolate Yoghurt

**Previously…**

_I nodded. "Okay. Okay, let's do it."_

"_Are you sure?" Carla asked._

"_One hundred per cent," I responded._

_Carla smiled at me, and then passed the paper work over the desk._

_For the first time in weeks… no, months, it felt as though a weight had been taken off of my shoulders. I was finally, finally starting to do the right thing for my son._

_And I knew that I'd always do that. No matter how much it cost. Like Carla had said, money doesn't matter in the face of saving a life._

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 17- Chocolate Yoghurt**

**Bella POV**

I didn't realise that I had fallen asleep again until my alarm blared at nine am, pulling me awake. I groaned and rolled over, shutting my alarm off before unwillingly climbing out of bed and dragging myself to the shower. Why the hell had I agreed to school on a Saturday??? And five hours of school at that.

The warm water cascaded down my back in a relaxing way, wiping off the grime of sleep. I inhaled deeply, smelling steam, strawberry shampoo and the unmistakeable scent that was Edward. God, everything about him was gorgeous, even the way he smelled.

I thought about the previous night, when he had stayed by my side. I didn't believe for one minute that he had slept and I wondered what he _had_ done. Had he watched me sleep all night? I sighed and washed my shampoo out.

Half an hour later, I was all ready for school. I wondered what to do while I waited for Edward to come get me. If he came at all. _He promised…_ a voice in my head reminded me, but I had an uneasy feeling that Edward's promises weren't all that reliable. Thinking of Edward gave me an idea, and I grabbed my laptop from the desk it sat on, switching it on and tapping my fingers as I waited for it to warm up.

Once my screensaver came up and everything had loaded, I clicked on the internet icon and Google came up onscreen. I took a deep breath and then typed into the search box: _Tattoo meanings_. Sure, I knew that people rarely got a tattoo because of the meaning behind them, but perhaps it would tell me something about Edward. Anything would be good.

Even though I had spent a lot of time with him prior to our falling out, I still felt like I didn't know him. He was so close, but so far away. Almost like a ghost; I could reach out to touch him, but my hand would go right through. I could tell that he was hiding a lot behind that sexy exterior.

I clicked on the first link that came up, which was an index of common tattoos and their meanings. Firstly, I typed 'heart'. There were a lot of results. I skipped right past average hearts- I knew that Edward's wasn't a symbol of passion and love. Then I found some more promising ones:

_-Broken heart tattoo: loss of a loved one_

_-Pierced heart tattoo: represent unforgettable and saddened memories_

I bit on my lip, and then typed 'barbed wire' into the search box. This was a bit more complex.

_-Barbed wire: if the wire is tattooed specifically around a body part or another design then it symbolises control. If the wire seems messy and everywhere then it could represent a feeling of a lack of control. If the wire is tattooed around the arm in a circle then it can represent time spent in prison. If the wire appears to break the skin then it can symbolise great pain- if the break in the skin bleeds then the person may consider themselves to be weak or responsible for their pain; if the break does not appear to bleed or hurt the person, then it can symbolise strength against pain._

So Edward's tattoo meant that… he felt out of control… and he considered himself weak, or responsible for his pain… and the black, broken heart suggested that he had lost a loved one and had unforgettable and sad memories.

I shuddered and shut the window. That had been enlightening… and slightly depressing. I shut the laptop down again and looked at my wrist-watch. When I saw the time, my mouth dropped open. I was supposed to leave ten minutes ago… and Edward wasn't here. Not that I didn't expect as much.

I ditched the laptop and grabbed my messenger bag, which all my books were in, before pulling on my shoes and heading to the door. I fumbled with the keys in the lock, dropping them a few times before finally getting it locked and stumbling down the corridor.

I glanced at my wrist-watch. "Shoot, I'm gonna be so late…" I rounded the corner to run down the stairs, but collided with something hard… some_one_ hard.

"Sorry, I… Bella?" Edward looked up at me.

I grabbed his hand. "Come _on_. I'm running so late!" And then I continued down the stairs, pulling him behind me. "Where were you?" I demanded.

"Um… uh… what?" Edward asked, checking his own watch. "Bella, we're five minutes early."

I stopped short. "What?"

Edward showed me his watch and it indeed was five minutes before we had to leave.

I blinked. "But…" Then something clicked in my mind. "Oh. I remember. I set my watch fifteen minutes fast so that I'm not late for things." I felt the blood rush up to colour my cheeks and I looked up the stairs and then down again, wondering whether it was a better idea to go back up or continue downwards.

But Edward's hand caught my chin. "Bella," he murmured, turning my face back to look at him, "did you really think that I wasn't going to come? That I would break my promise?"

I sighed, and avoided his gaze. "You left so fast…" I whispered. "I thought that…" I trailed off.

"You thought that I would ditch you?" He shook his head and pulled me into a hug. "I keep my promises, Bella."

I melted in his embrace, resting my head on his shoulder. I wondered whether things would change between us now that he had stayed over. We stayed stood like that for a while, and then I heard footsteps on the stairs behind us. I gently pushed myself away from Edward and leant against the stair rail, watching him watch me.

"Culling?" Emmett's surprised voice made me turn and look up at the stairs where he had appeared in some sweatpants.

I felt my brow furrow. "What are you doing?"

"Getting Rose and I some breakfast," Emmett replied in a tone that clearly said: _I have a reason to be here- what's his?_ "Why's Cullen here?" he asked me, as though Edward wasn't there. At least he got the name right this time.

I looked at Edward, wondering what to say.

"I've come to take Bella to school," Edward said smoothly.

"I thought you quit?" Emmett's tone was cynical.

Edward shifted, shoving his hands deep in his pockets. "No… I…"

"Look, can we talk about this later?" I interrupted. "I'm gonna be late." I waved at Emmett. "See you later." Then I headed down the stairs, without looking back.

Edward smirked at me as he climbed into the drivers' seat next to me a few minutes later. "Uncomfortable?"

"Why, did you have something to tell him?" I snapped, ditching my bag.

Edward shrugged. "Sure. I was gonna tell him that I was on holiday in Spain for a week."

I rolled my eyes. "With what money?" Then I grabbed his pale arm and held it next to mine. "Hmm… very tanned."

One side of his mouth twitched. "Spain isn't having great weather at the moment."

I laughed. "Yeah, feed those lies to someone who gives a shit."

"Maybe I should have said that my heroin supply ran out so I came to you for more…"

I shot him a glare. "Yeah, because that would have gone down nicely."

Edward chuckled, and then the both of us fell silent as he drove the familiar road to school. I watched out of the window as the landscape rushed by. We even got to school early.

"Here we are," Edward stated the obvious after we had been sat there in silence for a few minutes. "What time do you need picking up?"

"Um… three," I replied quietly, suddenly finding my bitten nails very interesting.

"Three?" Edward repeated. He sounded… annoyed?

I glanced up at his face. "Yeah. Is that okay? Because I can make my own way back if it is…"

"No," Edward replied. "No, it's fine." He sighed. "I'll see you later."

"Okay." I didn't move. I didn't want to leave Edward when I didn't have to go anywhere for another five minutes.

"Bella?" Now he sounded amused. Yep. Definitely bi-polar.

"Yeah?"

"Are you not going?" He gestured to the building.

I shook my head slowly, staring back down at my hands. "I don't have to go yet."

Edward didn't reply, sending the car back into that awkward silence.

After a moment, I looked back up at him to see him staring at me with an intense look in the depths of his gorgeous green eyes. "What?" I whispered into the sudden buzz of electricity.

He smiled gently and tentatively brought his hand up to my cheek. He cupped my face in his hand and I leant into it. "You're so beautiful," he breathed.

I blinked at him. Then I said, "I guess you want your heart back now, huh?" I couldn't stop myself from hoping that he'd say no.

"I can't take it, Bella," he told me intensely. "You'll have it forever."

I reached up and covered his hand with mine, pulling it away from my face so that I could lean forward. I touched my nose against his. "It's the same for mine," I whispered, and then I moved to kiss him.

But he pulled away.

I tried to keep the hurt off of my face, but I could tell that I was failing. I leant back again in my chair, keeping my eyes down.

"I'm sorry," Edward murmured after a second.

I took a deep breath so that my voice wouldn't shake, and then I said, "I'll see you at three." I grabbed the handle and pushed the door open and got out. Then I bent down to pick up my bag. But when I went to stand back up again, Edward caught my chin in his hand and pressed his lips to mine, kissing me chastely.

"See you at three," he confirmed as he let me go and sat back in his seat.

I was too stunned to move for a moment, but then I shook the dizziness out of my head and smiled at him. "Yeah… um… bye," I stuttered, and then I pushed the door shut before heading into the school.

And I could have sworn that I heard him laugh from behind me.

***

"How did it go?" I asked Alice in a whisper as I sat down at the cafeteria table at lunch. It was the first moment I had gotten to be with her unaccompanied.

Alice swallowed and prodded her tacos with a fork. "It was positive," she muttered.

I nodded. "Oh, Ali, I'm sorry I couldn't be there."

"It's okay."

I took a bite of my lunch and looked out of the window. I was surprised to see that the silver Volvo wasn't anywhere in the car park. I looked back at Alice. "Did you tell Jasper?"

She sighed. "Kind of…"

I heard the tone of her voice. "What do you mean?"

"I called the hospital this morning for the results while he was still asleep. I was going to tell him the minute I knew but… well, he woke up while I was still on the phone and overheard me and he… didn't react so well. I think it was more the shock, you know?"

I frowned. "Oh, God… is he okay now?"

She shrugged. "I dunno. Haven't seen him."

"You're always welcome to stay at mine, Al," I told her, putting my hand over her little one.

A tear trickled down Alice's cheek as she ran a hand through her short inky hair. "Thanks. I just… don't really know what to do right now."

"Jasper loves you too much to leave you," I assured her. "He'll be so sorry, Al. You'll see."

Alice smiled slightly. "I know. It's just-"

"Have you guys _seen_ this?!" Jake exclaimed, sitting down next to me and bursting the tense bubble Alice and I had gotten into.

Alice quickly turned away and wiped her eyes.

I looked over at Jacob. "Seen what?"

He held out a chocolate flavoured yoghurt. "They're selling something with chocolate in here!" he rejoiced. "That just doesn't happen! Ever since they started going all 'healthy' it's been…" he trailed off as he looked from my face to Alice and then back again. "What? What's going on?"

I bit my lip and looked down, knowing that it wasn't my news to share, but also knowing that Jake should probably know what was going on.

Alice turned back round again, a false smile plastered on her face. "Bella made up with her green-eyed Sex-God."

I blanched. "What?"

"That's what you were just telling me," Alice said with a slight roll of her eyes. I had to hand it to her; she was a pretty good actress. I made a mental note to ask her how she knew that later on.

Jacob raised an eyebrow at me. "Made up or _made up_?" he asked, his tone thick with implications.

I blushed furiously and hit his muscled arm. "Jake!" I whined.

"What? Just asking. I mean, anything can happen now that there's chocolate yoghurt."

"No. He was just… there. At my apartment when I got back from the spa day – which, before you ask, Alice, was absolutely awful – and he just kind of…" My brow furrowed. "Um… said he wanted to talk to me…"

"And you let him?" Jake asked doubtfully; he had seen me when I was mad.

"No," I responded. "I told him to get his pretentious, cocky ass out of my apartment."

Jacob laughed. "Did he?"

I rolled my eyes. "He kissed me. Well, he drove me fucking crazy and _then_ he kissed me. I had to let him stay after that." I felt a smile play at my lips. "He stayed overnight too."

Alice's eyes widened and Jake wolf-whistled.

"We didn't do anything!" I defended quickly. "God, Jake, you're so presumptuous."

"That's why you love me, baby." He winked at me. "So what did you do if you didn't bonk each other's brains out?"

I kicked him under the table. "We watched some movies and then slept, surprisingly enough." I left out the tattoo-inspecting and my suspicions that he hadn't slept at all.

"You're so boring," Jacob teased. He looked to Alice. "Isn't she Al?"

Alice was deep in thought. I kicked her gently under the table and she started slightly. "Uh… what? Yeah," she answered, though she had no idea what she was confirming. "Yeah."

I ignored Jacob's taunts at how I'd spend my honeymoon discussing the national debt and watched Alice as she stared at the table, her tacos untouched. I was seriously starting to worry about her.

**Edward POV**

"I guess I'll just have to accept that she loves me, huh?" I tapped my foot against the floor. "I don't know if I can deter her now… or myself." I laughed humourlessly. "I love her, Cody," I said quietly, looking at my little boy. "_God_, I love her so much that it hurts. There isn't a second when I'm looking at her that I don't want to hold her. And when I'm not with her… I feel kind of empty." I frowned. "Just after one night."

I glanced at my watch. It was half past two. I bit my lip. "I'm sorry, Cody," I whispered, stroking his little red cheek. "I don't know if I could watch them hurt you anyway. I'm not choosing her over you. I love you too, you know. So much. I'll get the money for your next operation in time, I promise."

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. I looked up as Carla came in. "Hey, the doctors need Cody now," she said gently.

I nodded and looked at Carla, feeling the tears sting at my eyes. "He'll be okay, won't he?"

Carla pursed her lips. "You know I can't promise anything. But I think he's strong, Edward."

"He is," I agreed, moving my gaze back to his face.

"I'll give you a minute," Carla said, stepping outside.

I sighed and kissed my fingertip before pressing it to Cody's cheek. "Fight for me," I whispered. "You're strong, Cody, I know you are. I'll always love you." And then I took one last look at him, and left the little room.

Carla was waiting outside. "Are you staying?" she asked quietly.

I shook my head. "No," I replied. "I don't think I can…" I couldn't finish my sentence.

"It's okay," she assured me. "I wouldn't be able to either."

I nodded and stuffed my hands in my pockets. "I should… go…" I muttered.

Carla smiled softly at me. "I'll look after him," she told me, and I could hear the promise in her voice. The promise that she would try her damndest not to let what happened to Jessie happen to my son.

I nodded again, not trusting myself to speak; I knew that knew how thankful I was. Then I waved slightly and made my way toward the exit of the hospital. It hurt to be walking away from Cody, perhaps when he needed me most; after all, a thirty percent chance of survival didn't give me much hope. But I had spent the whole day with him. If I was never going to see him again, then at least I had been with him during his last day.

I stopped that train of thought before I broke down. I had to go and get Bella now and I couldn't turn up sobbing. I would push Cody to the back of my mind now. There was nothing more I could do for him.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Is this the last time we'll be seeing Cody??? Well, you'll have to wait and see, won't you? ;) Sorry, I know that's mean :S**

**Oh, and the tattoo meaning stuff at the start- the heart stuff I got off google and the barbed wire tattoos really mean something along the lines of having served in jail, so I changed that slightly =)**

**AAAHH!!!!! Now, how epic is the second Eclipse trailer?!?!?! I thought it was a lot a better than the first one :D Aw at the Bedward bits ;) Even the Jacob bit at the start is cutee… and you guys know how team Edward I am ;) But is it me or has Tay's super-awesome six-pack kind of… gone? :S**

**Btw, the awesome 'Vision of a Butterfly' has interviewed me in her aspiring authors interviews :D If you're interested in reading that, then the link is on my profile under the 'links' section :)**

**Oh, and THWTLAL has been nominated for an award over at the Silent Tear Awards! If you've read it and want to vote, then the link is on my profile, also under the links section :D**

**I'm currently watching the Hangover with my brother (very funny film if you haven't seen it :L) as I write this A/N so I'm gonna keep this short and say goodbye now ;)**

**Thanks again for the awesome reviews- 745 now!!! Please keep on leaving them! :D**

**Thank you all :D**

**Steph**


	19. Chapter 18: More Than Just A Pretty Face

**Previously…**

_Carla smiled softly at me. "I'll look after him," she told me, and I could hear the promise in her voice. The promise that she would try her damndest not to let what happened to Jessie happen to my son._

_I nodded again, not trusting myself to speak; I knew that knew how thankful I was. Then I waved slightly and made my way toward the exit of the hospital. It hurt to be walking away from Cody, perhaps when he needed me most; after all, a thirty percent chance of survival didn't give me much hope. But I had spent the whole day with him. If I was never going to see him again, then at least I had been with him during his last day._

_I stopped that train of thought before I broke down. I had to go and get Bella now and I couldn't turn up sobbing. I would push Cody to the back of my mind now. There was nothing more I could do for him._

_Chills run down my spine_

_As our fingers entwine_

_And your sighs harmonize with mine_

_Unmistakably_

_I can still feel your heart beat fast_

_When you dance with me_

_**-If My Heart Was A House, Owl City**_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 18- More Than Just A Pretty Face**

**Edward POV**

I made sure that I was waiting outside Bella's school at three on the dot. Then I watched as she said goodbye to Jacob Black before her eyes swept the car park. Her face lit up in a huge smile when she saw me and she came over and got in the car. "Hey," she said as she climbed in.

"Hi," I replied, feeling a response smile turning up the corners of my mouth; her happiness was contagious.

"Did you have a nice day?" Bella asked brightly as she ditched her messenger bag.

Had I had a nice day? I couldn't really distinguish where today had started, especially considering the fact that I hadn't slept at all the night before. "Um… yes," I said slowly. Then I started the engine and grinned at her. "Did you? Wait, don't answer that. It must have been bad since you're in such an _awful_ mood," I teased.

She poked her tongue out at me as she pulled her seatbelt across her body. "It was alright." She licked her lips slightly as I drove out of the car park. I wondered if Alice was okay now. I wondered if Bella knew about Alice's baby.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked after a moment. "You seem… distracted."

"I'm fine," I mumbled. "I've just… got a lot on my mind."

She nodded. The rest of the drive back to her hotel was silent.

"Have you got anything scheduled for this afternoon?" I asked her as we climbed the stairs to her suite.

"No. Emmett was going to come and set my timetable for the next two weeks but now he's busy."

"Doing what?" I wondered.

Bella shrugged as she unlocked the door. "There was some kind of problem with one of the dates for one of the concerts somewhere so he got a plane over there to talk it over or something. He called me earlier."

"Oh," I said. "When do you start these concerts?" There were posters for them everywhere.

"The first one's here in LA two weeks on Monday." She dropped her keys in the white dish by the door and I followed suit. "We're going to almost every state in the country; one night only in some places, two or three in others. I think they're mostly sold out."

"Wow," I muttered.

"Yeah." She bit her lip. "It's a little bit scary sometimes." She grabbed a pile of paper off of a coffee table and handed a sheet to me. "That's the list of dates. I'll get Emmett to copy one off for you."

I took it but didn't look at it. "What?" I stared at Bella. "You mean… I'm coming with you?"

She nodded slowly. "Er… yeah. That's what you're employed to do isn't it?" She took a step closer to me. "Besides, I want you there."

I swallowed nervously and looked back down at the sheet as I sat on her sofa. Two weeks from Monday in LA was the first one. And there were weeks of them. The first was on the 23rd March. The last wasn't until the start of May, and that was all the way over in New York. I couldn't go and travel the country for more than a month. Not only was there Cody and all of his operations to think about, there was James and his missions too. I would have to quit the bodyguard job. But then… then I wouldn't be close to Bella. I needed to be close to her. And not only because I had to kill her. Did that mean that I would have to complete James' mission before she started her concerts? The first one was only two days after Cody's second operation; I had to stay with him.

I let go of the sheet, letting it flutter to the floor. My head was starting to hurt with everything I had to think of. If I was sensible then I would just get rid of her now. Then I'd have all the money I'd need to get Cody better and I wouldn't have to deal with all of the Bella shit. I looked up at her, watching as she faffed around in her little kitchen, pouring drinks. I had the knife with me now. I could just go over and cover her mouth with my hand. Whisper sorry in her ear and then just stab her in the back. Through the heart to make it as quick and painless as possible. I could even sit her down and explain my reasoning to her if that would make me feel better.

But I couldn't do it. The thought of taking Bella's life from her made me feel sick.

Plus, if I had to do it, I wanted to do it after Cody had been discharged from the hospital so that I could get out of there and never have to look Bella's friends and family in the eye ever again.

She turned round then, and smiled lightly at me as she came over, clearing the coffee table and putting two full mugs down.

"I made you a coffee," she told me.

I nodded. "Thanks."

Then, she hesitantly came and sat on my lap, so that she was facing me; straddling me. Of course, _certain_ parts of my body responded to that. She cupped my face in one of her hands. "You look sad," she observed quietly.

I sighed and pushed Cody, and James, and all of the other messed up shit to the back of my head. I would spend this afternoon with Bella. I would spend it as I would if I didn't have to kill her. "I'm not," I said.

She nodded, not looking like she bought it.

"Really," I insisted, "I'm happy."

"Why?" she challenged.

I lifted my arms and put my hands on either sides of her waist. "Because I'm with you."

She smiled and her hands came up and wound round the back of my neck. She played with the hair that lay at the small of my neck for a moment, and then she leant forward and pressed her lips to mine, sliding down my lap as she did. I groaned and kissed her back, pushing her mouth open with my lips. She tilted her head to the side and pushed her palms against my shoulders to give herself leverage to hold her head above mine as my tongue swept along her bottom lip. She granted me entrance instantly and I pushed my tongue into the wet cavity of her mouth, tasting her. And, I swear, I had never tasted anything better.

"Edward," she breathed against my lips when she pulled away slightly to take a breath. Then she pressed her lips back against mine. Her hips had slid down and were right against me now, right where my body wanted them. I moved my hands up her body until they were at the cuff of her blouse. Then, I started undoing the buttons, one by one moving downwards. I didn't stop kissing her even when I had reached the bottom of her blouse. When she realised what I was doing, she gasped slightly into my mouth, but moved her hands and letting me push her blouse over her shoulders and down her arms.

I pulled my mouth gently from hers then, and Bella moved her hands down to the bottom of my top. I let her pull it over my head before I looked down at her body. When I realised what she was wearing, I looked back up at her face and smirked. "Bikini?"

She blushed. "I was in the bathroom and this bikini was just… there, okay?"

I chuckled and pinged it against her back.

She slapped my hand away playfully, before looking at me contemplatively.

"What?" I asked when I saw a plan forming in her head.

She wriggled her way off of my lap. "Let's go swimming!"

I blinked at her. "But I don't have anything…" I trailed off as she disappeared into her bedroom. Then I sighed and went to follow her, just as she came out again and thrust some plain black trunks into my hands.

"The hotel gives us a heap of complimentary crap we never use," she said by way of explanation. Then she pushed me toward the bathroom. "Now go change!"

"Yessir," I muttered, earning myself a tiny glare.

"I'll wait for you," she warned me.

I rolled my eyes and went into the bathroom to change.

A few minutes later Bella was leading me down the corridors to the hotel's private pool, both of us just in swimming gear with a thick, white towel-like dressing gown over the top. I felt a little revealed.

"Why are we swimming?" I asked.

Bella shrugged. "Why not?"

"I was perfectly content on the sofa."

"Well, then, you shouldn't have suggested this," she said brightly, typing a code into a security thing and pushing a door open. "Come on!"

I didn't bother reminding her that I wasn't the one that had suggested anything of the sort. But I was happy enough to go and swim with Bella; I got to see her in a bikini didn't I? I followed her through the door into the room with the pool. The smell of chlorine hit me like a battering ram, reminding me of the swimming lessons I had had when I was six. The room was very big, and it was more like a conservatory, with a glass roof letting the sun filter through.

I lifted my eyes from the pool and watched as Bella untied her dressing gown and, very sexily, dropped it from her body, revealing her gorgeous curves. I forced myself to look away before I started panting, and threw my own dressing gown at a sun lounger before heading to the deep end and catching Bella's eye before smiling and executing a perfect dive. Yeah, I was showing off a little bit.

When my head broke the surface again, I ran my hand through my wet hair and looked up to see Bella sat by the side, dangling her legs in the water and shaking her head at me. I swam over to her.

"Isn't it cold just diving right in like that?" she asked.

I snorted and shook my head fast, spraying water all over her. She shrieked with laughter before grabbing my chin and halting my head. "Okay, okay! I get the message!"

"Why don't you try it out for yourself?" I suggested, moving in front of her and leaning my elbows on the edge of the pool, one on each side of her legs.

Then, I carefully roped my arms around her waist and pulled her in. She screamed as she hit the water and slid under. I laughed and pulled her back up to the surface.

Bella glared at me from under her dripping hair. "That was mean, Cullen."

"Was it, Swan?" I said cockily, quirking a brow at her.

She splashed me and then grabbed my shoulders trying to push me under.

I laughed at her feeble attempts and grabbed her waist, pulling her toward the shallow end. She fought with me for a moment, but then gave up and let me drag her gently through the water. When my feet could touch the floor, I turned round and took her little body in my arms. "You're so pretty," I murmured.

"You're a bastard," she replied nonchalantly.

I faked a hurt expression. "Ouch. That was mean. You wounded me, Bella."

"No I didn't." She grinned at me. "Just your ego; and that needed to be taken down a notch or so anyway."

I gasped. "You really did not just say _that_."

Bella giggled. "I really did. But it's okay. I like a guy with an inflated ego." Her tone suggested there was more to her delicious innuendo.

"Oh really?" I said.

"Yep." She popped her lips on the 'p' and started to drift away from me through the water. "It means that they're easier to burst."

I laughed and then I swam after her. She raised her eyebrows and picked up her pace and it soon became a chase. I don't know how many lengths we did before I finally caught her ankle and dragged her backwards.

"You're fast," I said breathlessly when we stopped by the side at the shallow end.

She shrugged and looked away, the smile on her face fading. "I came here every night for the last week or so. Swimming is good for taking your mind off of… stuff."

I knew that by 'stuff' she meant me. I hugged her closer. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

She nodded, and wrapped her legs around my waist, hugging herself to me. We stood in silence for a long moment, and then Bella turned her face to the side and kissed me. I kissed her back and, of course, it wasn't long before my body started to react. I tried to hold Bella up so that she wouldn't notice, but she was making it really quite difficult, squirming all over me as she kissed me.

I felt a growl escape my lips as her ass brushed against me.

Bella pulled away. "Are you okay?" she asked innocently.

"Fine." I panted slightly when I answered her.

She shrugged and moved her mouth to my neck instead. As her lips started to caress the skin at my neck I groaned and my head fell backwards. Bella lifted her head again. "What's the matter?"

"No… I… nothing," I said through gritted teeth before looking over and meeting her eye. Then I saw the glimmer of humour deep in her chocolatey brown eyes; she knew _exactly_ what she was doing to me.

She giggled when she saw the realisation on my face. "Hormones, huh?"

I shook my head with a smile. "You are so dead."

And then the splashing war ensued.

**Bella POV**

I stared at the ceiling, thinking. Edward and I were snuggled together on my sofa now, in amongst a few towels to prevent the sofa from getting wet. I was sat in between his legs in just my bikini, my bare back pressed against his chest. I sighed and looked down at our hands, which were threaded together.

If I had said that I was a little bit confused about all of this, I'd have been lying. Only because I was so confused that my head hurt. What were we, Edward and I? Definitely not friends, but were we just 'friends with benefits'? Were we together? Or… not? I bit my lip and took a deep breath, deciding to ask him before I chickened out. "Edward?" I asked quietly. When he didn't reply, I mashed my lips together and tried again. "Edward? Are, um… are we…?" But I trailed off when I looked up at his face to see him absolutely dead to the world. I smiled; no matter how much sleep he reassured me he had gotten the night before, I still didn't believe that he had slept at all. He needed this.

I sat in his arms and watched him sleep for a while. Watched his toned abs rise and fall with the breaths he took, his mouth go slack with sleep and the creases that seemed to be permanently etched on his forehead vanish. He looked so peaceful when he was sleeping; it was almost the direct contrast to when he was awake.

"Bella…" he murmured through his sleep and I felt my heart leap into my mouth. I waited for him to say something else, but he didn't.

Just then, my stomach rumbled. I glanced at the clock to see that it was half past seven; we had been lying here for two hours now. Jeez, no wonder Edward had fallen asleep. I was a bit of a crappy host really. I carefully slid out of the seat his lap made me and climbed off the sofa, debating whether to cook something or call for take-out. I looked in the fridge, but all I had was leftovers, so I grabbed the phone off of the side and pressed speed dial for the Chinese down the road.

I ordered the usual, but for two this time, and Liu told me that it would be delivered to the hotel in ten minutes. I thanked him and hung up before crawling back on to Edward's lap.

Eight minutes later, I headed downstairs, not wanting the buzz to wake Edward up. I exchanged the money for the food with the delivery boy and then headed back upstairs. But I was stopped on the stairs. "Bella?"

I turned round, expecting to maybe see Alice if she hadn't made up with Jasper. I blinked in surprise when I saw that it was Rosalie. "Oh. Hey Rose." I frowned slightly. "Didn't you go with Emmett?"

She shook her head. "No. I was working when he left; I've been in the Jacuzzi for the remainder of the afternoon."

"Oh," I said, shooting her an awkward smile. "Right. Was there something you wanted?" I asked. "Only, I'm kinda hungry."

Rosalie looked at the bags I had gestured to. "Actually… yeah, there was."

Oh hell. I shifted my weight on to my other foot in preparation for the onslaught; I had heard that tone a million times from Emmett. "What's up?" I said warily.

"Who was with you in the pool this afternoon?" Rose asked bluntly.

Shit. "Oh… um… that was Edward. Bodyguard. We… decided to go for a swim?" My attempt at a bold statement went badly wrong.

Rosalie raised one perfect eyebrow. "He's your bodyguard?"

I nodded, deciding that it would be best not to ruin the lies with actual words.

"Why were you making out with him?"

I sighed and rested the bags on the floor, leaning against the wall. Can you say 'busted' much? "We're kind of… um… well, I'm not really sure what we are but…"

"But it involves making out?"

"Yeeeaaahh," I replied slowly, dragging the word out.

Rosalie frowned. "You know what Em's gonna say, don't you?"

I stared at her. "Please don't tell him. He thinks everything is a distraction."

"I can't lie to him, Bella."

"You don't have to!" I said. "You just… don't have to tell him." I sighed. "I know what he'd say. I mean… we haven't even… I don't know… ugh!" I exclaimed when coming up blank for words for what I wanted to say. I took a deep breath. "I don't even know what's going on right now. I can't explain it to Emmett, Rose, I just can't! And then he'd fire Edward and say he's a distraction and he's _not_!"

"He might not _fire_ him…" Rosalie started.

I shut her up with a look. "Please. You know as well as I do what Emmett thinks of him. I wouldn't be allowed to see him again. I just want one aspect of my life where _I_ am in control! I don't want Emmett pushing into our relationship and there is no way in hell I will let my _cousin_ tell me who I can and can't see! I'm not a child anymore Rosalie! I'm seventeen."

"You're not a legal adult," she pointed out quietly.

I narrowed my eyes. "I turned into an adult when I was thirteen," I muttered. I bit my lip. "Rose, I feel things for Edward that… that I can't even put into words! He just… means _so much_ to me. You're right when you say that Emmett wouldn't fire him, because I'm certainly not doing this job without him, and Em knows that."

Rosalie cocked a brow. "You'd give up everything for a guy with a pretty face?"

"I'd give up my life for him," I whispered intensely. I grabbed up the bag. "Actually, you know what? Tell him. I don't give a shit. Whatever Emmett says, I'll still take Edward's side. He's a lot more to me than just a pretty face." And then I sighed, and started up the stairs again, leaving a speechless Rosalie standing alone on the stairs.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**So a lotta lovely fluff there for you :)**

**This is gonna be the most incredibly short A/N ever btw :L**

**Not sure when the next update will be- probably this weekend. Friday-ish :)**

**Um… please review? How long will it take to get to one thou??? Twenty-five chapters? Can we try please? :)**

**Thank you all :)**

**Steph**


	20. Chapter 19: Low Blow

**Previously…**

_I bit my lip. "Rose, I feel things for Edward that… that I can't even put into words! He just… means so much to me. You're right when you say that Emmett wouldn't fire him, because I'm certainly not doing this job without him, and Em knows that."_

_Rosalie cocked a brow. "You'd give up everything for a guy with a pretty face?"_

"_I'd give up my life for him," I whispered intensely. I grabbed up the bag. "Actually, you know what? Tell him. I don't give a shit. Whatever Emmett says, I'll still take Edward's side. He's a lot more to me than just a pretty face." And then I sighed, and started up the stairs again, leaving a speechless Rosalie standing alone on the stairs._

**~~VTN~~**

_Baby talk to me, can you tell me honestly;_

_Am I crazy to believe something's wrong?_

_I can't read your mind, can you give me a sign;_

_Are you thinking things over or do you need some more time?_

_**-The First Thing, Esmee Denters**_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 19- Low Blow**

**Edward POV**

I was rudely awoken by my stomach growling; that was a first. I yawned before opening my eyes to look right into a takeaway box of Chinese-style noodles with a fork sticking out the top.

"I got us take-out," Bella said in way of explanation from above me.

I lifted my eyes and blinked at her beautiful face. "What?"

"It's almost eight o'clock," she said as she pushed the noodle box into my hands and sat down next to me with a noodle box of her own. She gestured to the coffee table, which she had moved to in front of us. "Help yourself to whatever."

I looked down to see various Chinese things in Styrofoam boxes on the table. "Um… thanks."

Bella laughed slightly at my bewildered tone. "I guess I should have let you wake up a bit first, huh?"

I nodded as I leant forward and speared a piece of meat in black bean sauce with my fork. I tossed it into my mouth and my tongue revelled in the taste of something other than baked beans or McDonalds chips.

Bella snorted and I looked back at her with one eyebrow raised.

"You look like you're enjoying that," she said.

"Mmm it's good," I agreed. "I haven't had Chinese since I moved out of my Uncles house. We had take-out pretty much everyday then. He couldn't be assed to cook, the bastard."

"You lived with your uncle?" Bella questioned, sounding a little surprised.

I nodded slowly and sighed. "Yeah. My… my Mum was murdered when I was thirteen. My father committed suicide a while after that." _Not that he didn't fucking deserve to die._

Bella looked down at her food, embarrassed to have asked. "I'm sorry," she mumbled.

I shrugged and shovelled a mouthful of noodles onto my tongue. "Shit happens," I said darkly when I had swallowed the food.

"Yeah," she agreed in a voice just above a whisper.

We ate in silence for a while then. I couldn't look at her, knowing that she was thinking of her mother. I just knew that she would hate me if she knew that I associated myself with the person that had stabbed Renee to death four years ago. She would probably hate me more for that than she would if she knew that I had to kill her. At least, that was what I had gotten from her selfless personality so far.

When the silence became uncomfortable, Bella switched on the TV and put it on some comedy quiz show. Some of the things they said were kind of funny. A lot of it was crap. I tried to pay attention to it, not wanting my mind to go back to Cody, as it unequivocally would, but it didn't really work.

When I had finished my food, I reached into my pocket and turned to Bella. "Is it okay if I go outside and make a call?"

"Sure, go ahead," she replied, still eating her noodles.

I went outside of the suite and into the corridor, where I opened my contacts and called the infant reception desk, praying with every beep that Carla would answer. She didn't. "Hello, LA Private Hospital, how can I help you?" I vaguely recognised her voice, but I knew that it wasn't Carla.

"Hi, is Carla there, please?" I asked.

"Yes, if you'll hold for a second I'll get her for you. Can I take your name please?"

I gave it to her and then waited for a few minutes.

Finally, the phone was picked up. "Edward?" Carla asked. Her tone was careful not to give anything away.

"How is he?" I said, and I could hear the worry in my voice.

"The operation went as smoothly as it could have done, Mr Cullen," she told me calmly and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"So he's going to be okay?"

"We won't know if he's going to be absolutely fine for another week," she reminded me, "but, yes, he seems to be coming out the other side as well as can be expected."

"When can I see him?"

"You'll be allowed in tomorrow afternoon, twenty-four hours after the operation." I could hear her hesitate on the other end of the line.

"What? What is it?"

"He's hooked up to life-support, Edward," she told me. "And he's even weaker than before. Just… please don't get your hopes up by all means."

The relief started to sink away. "What do you mean?"

Carla laughed slightly. "You're worse than a lot of the mothers I speak to. The long and short of it is that Cody's looking good at the moment but I don't want to give you false hope in case he weakens overnight. I'll be watching him tonight."

My brow furrowed slightly. "I thought you didn't work on Saturday nights?"

"You stalking me or something?" she joked.

I laughed a little. "No, but you weren't there last Saturday when I came to see Cody."

She gave an exasperated sigh. "I took up an extra shift, okay? I… I want to be here for Cody, Edward. And for you. I know how hard it is for you and… I know I'm not supposed to get so emotionally involved, but I can't help it."

I felt a lump in my throat and I hurriedly swallowed it down as I leant back against the wall. "Thank you so much for everything. I can't tell you how much this means to me."

"Edward, I'm a parent. I _know_ how much it means to you."

"Can I call you tomorrow morning? To see how he's doing?"

I could almost see her sad smile as she said, "How about I send you a text message on my mobile phone telling you how he's doing? I can get your number from this phone."

I mentally berated myself for not coming up with the idea myself. "That'd be great; thank you."

"No problem," she replied. "I better go; can't be accused of slacking on the job."

"Yeah, sure, sorry to bother you."

She chuckled. "You don't bother me. I'll text you every few hours or so with Cody's progress, okay?"

"Yeah, that's great. Thanks Carla. So much."

"You're welcome," she said. "See you later."

"Bye," I responded, but she'd already gone. It wasn't until then that something she had said sunk in: _I'm a parent_. She had lost her daughter, but she still considered herself a parent. In that moment I realised that, no matter what happened, I'd always be Cody's father. He'd always be with me- because he was a part of me.

I smiled to myself before going back into Bella's suite. She looked up at me from the sofa. "Everything okay?"

I grinned back at her. "Everything's fine." I slipped my phone back into my pocket and checked around the room for anything else that belonged to me. "Thanks for dinner, by the way."

"No problem," she responded automatically. Then her eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "Are you going already?"

"Yeah, I don't want to intrude any more than I already have," I said.

Bella put her noodle box on the table and came over to my side. "You're not intruding," she told me. "I like having you here."

I smiled slightly and hugged her gently to my chest. "And I like being here."

"Then stay the night?" she offered, her hands trailing down my sides as they had earlier that day in the pool.

I wanted to. Badly. But she was safe here and I had to get back to my apartment and check that I hadn't gotten any nasty mail from James if Aro had told him anything. I wondered why he hadn't said anything when he clearly could have done, but I couldn't come up with a reasonable excuse. I dreaded to think what could be waiting for me back at my apartment, and that made me want to stay with Bella even more. But I knew that if I delayed it, things would only get worse.

I kissed the side of her beautiful neck. "I'm sorry," I breathed against her ear. "I have things I have to do."

She trembled slightly in my arms, but then she cleared her throat and asked, "What do these things involve?"

The moment the question passed her lips, it was like I snapped shut.

Bella noticed it too. She pulled her head back slightly and looked me in the eye. "Edward, you can trust me."

There was that damned word again. Trust. "I know," I whispered. "I do trust you."

She waited for me to say something and then sighed when I didn't. "Okay. Go… do your crap. I'll see you tomorrow." She pushed out of my arms and went back to the coach. Her tone wasn't angry, but I knew that she was mad. She only swore when she was mad, remember?

"Bella," I sighed, going over and sitting down next to her. I took her hand in mine and she reluctantly looked up at me.

"What?" She sounded even more reluctant.

I hesitated for a moment, not entirely sure how to explain it. "You know when… when you really, truly want to tell someone something but… you can't. Not just because you're not allowed to, but because you just literally _can't do it_?" I clenched my fist in annoyance when she just stared at me blankly. "When… when sometimes something happens that you can't even explain to yourself?"

This time she nodded slowly.

"It's like that. I don't even know what's going on right now."

She stared into my eyes for a long moment, as though looking for some sign that I was lying. Then she sighed and let her head fall on to my shoulder. "Please stay," she whispered.

"I'm sorry," I said, kissing her forehead and then moving to stand up.

Bella held me down, chewing on her lip anxiously. "Edward, I have a really bad feeling about this."

"It'll be fine," I promised, though I knew that I didn't have the power to promise such a thing. "What time do you need me tomorrow?"

"Nine o'clock," she answered instantly.

"I'll be here on the dot," I swore. Then I kissed her head again and stood up. She let me this time. "Bye," I said, before turning and heading for the door. But just before I left, I remembered something. "Bella?"

She looked up, hope in her eyes. "Yes?"

I felt bad that I couldn't tell her that I had changed my mind. "Do me a favour?"

"Anything."

"Don't leave this suite by yourself. Ever."

She frowned and came over. "Why not?"

I looked into her eyes and said very seriously, "Bella, there are some very bad people out there."

"I'm not five," she snapped, irritated. "I can look after myself."

I couldn't help the smile that pulled up my lips; she thought she was so dangerous. Then, I bent down and swept my arm underneath her knees, catching her arms just like I had a few weeks before when I had first gotten this insane job. I raised an eyebrow at her.

She scowled. "You've done that before and it didn't prove anything. And you know what? It didn't prove anything this time either."

I chuckled and set her back on her feet, but I slid my arms up her body and held her by the waist. Then I turned serious again. "I mean it, Bella. Don't go out alone."

She eyed me suspiciously. "What do you know that I don't?"

Damn, she was observant. I didn't answer her question. "I like you too much to have anything happen to you, okay? So just… don't go out alone." I pulled away from her and smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow at nine."

She sighed and smiled back half-heartedly. "Fine. I'll stay in and watch crappy TV all night. Happy now?"

My smile got wider and – I couldn't help it – I pulled her back into my arms and hugged her tight one last time. "Ecstatic, love," I murmured, kissing her once more, before leaving and pulling the door shut behind me.

**Bella POV**

I was offended. How young did he think I was? He was only one year older than me, for crying out loud! _Don't go out alone._ He wasn't my parent; he had no right to boss me around, even if it was only because he didn't want anything to happen to me.

I kicked the bottom of my sofa and whimpered slightly when my toes throbbed. I had thought that Edward was different. But he was just going to try and control me as well. Just like Emmett, and Rose, and everyone else who thought that they were responsible for me now that I was miles away from any authoritative figures.

Couldn't I be in charge of myself for once?

I wandered over to the window and watched as Edward unlocked his car and opened the drivers door. He hesitated and then, as though he sensed me watching, looked up at my window. My eyes met his and he smiled slightly, and then waved goodbye. I smiled back but it was half-hearted.

Edward looked away again and climbed back into his car. He didn't drive away straight away though, and I wondered what he was doing in his front seat. But a moment later, my phone buzzed. I rolled my eyes and smiled and went across the room, grabbing up my phone and opening the new text from Edward.

_Be safe. Miss you already x_

I went back over to the window and looked out, but he was already gone. So I opened up a blank message and replied:

_Always am. I missed u b4 u were gone x x x_

And then I slipped my feet into the well-worn converses by the door, before calling the first number in my contacts and heading out and down the stairs. I didn't need to go out, but it gave me a sense of liberation. As though, by going against what Edward had said, I was being independent for once. Proving that I wasn't a child that needed to be told what to do; that I could look after myself.

Alice picked up on the first ring. "Hello?"

"Al, it's me."

"Oh, hey Bella," she said. She sounded exhausted.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly as I nodded at Gianna at reception before exiting the main entrance to the hotel.

Alice sighed on the other end of the phone. "Yeah. Jasper came back a few hours ago. He's gone to buy us some food."

"That's brilliant! Have you spoken to him about the baby?"

"Yeah. We're… we're keeping it. I… I don't think I could get rid of it now. And… I'd feel awful getting rid of a healthy child when there are so many people that would kill to be in my position." She paused and then said, "Have you spoken to Edward recently?"

"Yeah, he just left," I replied. I sat down on a bench and shivered as the cool evening air blew at my bare arms, instantly regretting not picking up a sweater. "Why?"

Alice sighed. "No reason. What did you guys do all afternoon?"

I didn't reply, just sat and blushed.

Alice laughed, as though she could hear my blush. "It was like _that_ was it Bella?" She giggled again. "Remember to be safe."

My blush deepened. "Alice! Not like _that_. Besides, _you_ can't tell me that. It would make you a hypocrite." I instantly regretted saying that, worried that she'd take it the wrong way.

Thankfully, she laughed again. "That was a low-blow, Bells."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Alice said. "Hey, you want godmother rights?"

I felt my eyes widen. "Are you serious?!"

"Of course! Bella, you're my best friend. I don't know if we're actually gonna get him or her christened yet – we've hardly had time to wrap our heads round the fact that there even _is_ a him or her, let alone get to christenings – but you can have the same rights blah, blah, blah."

I beamed. "That means a lot to me, Al. Thanks."

"You're welcome." Then she sighed. "Jazz just got back with some food. Sorry, Bella, I should go."

"That's fine. Say hi from me. And then give him a whack around the back of the head."

Alice chuckled. "Will do. Love you."

"Love you too."

Then she was gone. I smiled as I slipped my phone back into my pocket and looked up at the star-studded night sky. It was good to hear Alice laughing again. Even though she had only been absent for a couple of days, I had missed my carefree, life-loving best friend.

Suddenly, a motion beside me made me jump and turn to the man who had sat down beside me without my noticing. He looked old; his pale skin was filmy and sallow like an onion's, his dark eyes sat in deep-set hollows, and his greasy black hair was slicked back into a ponytail. He wore a black leather bomber jacket and casual jeans, trying to look young. If anything, it made him look even older. He took a long draw from a cigarette and then blew a stream of smoke in my direction. His presence was starting to make me nervous.

Then his eyes lifted and connected with mine. "Alright, darlin'?" he asked in a tipsy drawl.

"Yes thank you," I squeaked nervously.

"I'm Aro," he introduced himself, holding out his hand.

I shook it shakily, and then moved to get up and go back to the hotel.

But his hand tightened around my wrist and he pulled me back down on to the bench. "Whassa matter?" he slurred. "Aren't you gonna tell me your name, pretty girl?" Then he blinked at me. "Ahhh… I know who you are. You're the pretty little thang Eddie-boy's got his eye on. The singer."

My brow furrowed. "You know Edward?"

Aro shrugged. "Not really. I knew his father more." His voice seemed a lot steadier all of a sudden. Almost as though he had just stopped being drunk. He took a drag from his cigarette, his other hand still gripping my wrist. "What are you doing out here all alone then, pretty girl?"

I didn't know the answer to that myself. I could have called Alice from inside, but my stubborn streak had decided to rear its head and I wanted to prove to Edward that I could look after myself. "I… I don't know."

Aro snorted, stubbed out his cigarette, and then lit a new one. "Not a very smart move, love. Edward would be kind of pissed, don't you think?"

I frowned. How did this guy know anything about Edward? "Why?"

"_Because_, sweetheart, he is in love with you."

I shook my head slightly. He wasn't making sense. "Where does that come into anything?"

"Bella… it is Bella, right?"

I nodded nervously.

Aro looked down at my wrist and let it go. Then he took my hand instead and traced a line down the middle, his cigarette sticking out of one corner of his mouth. "Your life's in danger, girlie. You shouldn't be by yourself when someone wants you dead."

I snatched my hand back, my heart racing at his words. "Stop it," I snapped.

"Stop what, darlin'?" he laughed. "Stop telling you the truth? Stop trying to save your life? Stop warning you?"

"Stop trying to scare me," I clarified angrily. "You're a drunk pisshead who knows fuck all about anything so don't feed me such bullshit."

To my surprise, the drunk bastard threw his head back and howled with laughter. When he had calmed down a bit, he said, "You know, you've got spunk, girlie. I can see why Edward likes you. You should probably leave the dirty words for your boyfriend though; it sounds a lot more impressive coming from him." He laughed again.

I scowled. "Do you take anything seriously?"

He stopped laughing then, looking me in the eye and saying, "Do you?"

I stood up. "I'm going now."

"Good idea," he said in a gruff voice, watching me retreat. "You should start to listen more, Bella," he called after me. "Learn to trust Edward, or you're gonna get hurt."

I ignored him, though a shiver of fear rushed down my spine. I shook it off and went into the hotel, wondering why I hadn't just listened to Edward in the first place.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Dun dun duuun!!!! :L**

**It's Aro again huh? There was a clue in here as to how he isn't as evil as you think… though when I say 'not evil' I don't mean that he's not dangerous to Bella. He probably would have killed her, but he knows it's Edward's job after his freak-out last time ;)**

**A few of you have been asking about how long it's gonna be and/or how long until we get to the bit in the prologue. I have to admit that the answer to both of this is: **_**I have**__**no idea**_** lol. There is A LOT to happen before the prologue so I'd say that we won't be getting there for at least ten chapters. That doesn't mean that it'll be fluff from here on in. Ohhh no :L Getting right back to the angst next chapter, but it'll be more balanced between fluff and angst for a while.**

**To give you a few ideas, I will tell you that in the next few chapters Bella will find out one of Edward's secrets, Edward will attempt to solve his problems in one way or another, and Bella makes a big (and slightly risky) move when the concerts come around. Oh, and Emmett goes ape-shit about… hmm EVERYTHING, of course ;)**

**Guesses on which secret Bella finds out (that one's easy- like number 3 on the hard scale), what Edward tries to do (slightly harder- maybe a six?) and what Bella's risky move is (pretty difficult- an eight?) are very welcome :)**

**But when I say next few chapters, I mean in my chapter plan. You must know that I deviate from this plan fairly frequently :L**

**I don't know when the next update will be. Probably Wednesday or Friday :S In the meantime, though, I have set up a new website where I am in the process of moving all of the crap on my profile to- because that profile is faaar too long- so you could have a look at that if you want? :) THWTLAL readers- there is a MAJORLY LONG sneak peek of the Mason story and loads more deets on that ;)**

**Please review! I'll make a deal with you… if we reach 875 before Wednesday, I'll update early :) Is that mean? Hell yeah it is. But so are the people that read and don't review ;) Major kudos to those of you who ALWAYS review. Thank you and I'm very sorry that I can't update early for all of you :S**

…**Thanks guys! :D**

**Steph**


	21. Chapter 20: A New Home

**Previously…**

_To my surprise, the drunk bastard threw his head back and howled with laughter. When he had calmed down a bit, he said, "You know, you've got spunk, girlie. I can see why Edward likes you. You should probably leave the dirty words for your boyfriend though; it sounds a lot more impressive coming from him." He laughed again._

_I scowled. "Do you take anything seriously?"_

_He stopped laughing then, looking me in the eye and saying, "Do you?"_

_I stood up. "I'm going now."_

"_Good idea," he said in a gruff voice, watching me retreat. "You should start to listen more, Bella," he called after me. "Learn to trust Edward, or you're gonna get hurt."_

_I ignored him, though a shiver of fear rushed down my spine. I shook it off and went into the hotel, wondering why I hadn't just listened to Edward in the first place._

**~VTN~**

_A chair is still a chair_

_Even when there's no one sitting there_

_But a chair is not a house_

_And a house is not a home_

_When there's no one there to hold you tight_

_And no one there to kiss goodnight_

_**-A House Is Not A Hair, Burt Bacharach/ Glee Cast**_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 20- A New Home**

**Edward POV**

She consumed me.

My every thought.

My every move.

My every fantasy.

I had three options.

The first was to embrace that shit and realise that it wasn't going anywhere and make the most of whatever twisted thing we had going while it lasted. Consequences be damned.

The second option was to continue being the bi-polar ass I was at the moment and have my emotions switch from sickeningly in love one second to murderously angry in another.

Or just kill her already.

The problem was that I didn't really want to do any of them. I didn't want to damn the consequences when I had responsibilities and I didn't want to keep this dark, internal conflict up for any longer; because that was exhausting. As for the killing her?

You can forget that.

I sighed as I pulled up outside the apartment block and locked the car behind me. I pushed the door open and headed up the stairs. Then I kicked the door to open it. "Fuck!" I yelled when the door didn't give way, grabbing onto my now-throbbing foot. Once the pain started to give way, I inspected the door more closely and realised that the locks had been replaced; with locks that didn't give when you applied a little pressure. You know, the kind of locks that work.

I lifted the biggest silver padlock and inspected the hole for the key. My key certainly wouldn't fit in there. I frowned and did an about-turn and went down the stairs. I knocked on the door of the apartment on the ground floor, and my annoyance grew when no one answered.

I banged again and yelled, "Oi! Linley! What the hell do you think you're playing at?!"

A moment later, I heard the deadbolt slide across, and Mr Linley opened the door.

"What's the fucking deal with the padlocks?!" I demanded angrily.

"The fucking deal with the padlocks, Cullen," he said, his tone matching my anger tit-for-fucking-tat, "is that you haven't paid your rent since you moved in here! That's four months rent you owe me!"

_Shiiiiiit._ I ran my hand through my hair and groaned. "Shit. I completely forgot about that…"

"Ignorance is _not_ an excuse!" Mr Linley growled. "And unless you can give me the previous four months' rent in cash right this very second, you've been evicted."

I sighed exasperatedly. "Can I have my stuff, in the very least?"

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Sure, I've got it back here." He stepped backwards and then handed me a box. "There's your carrots." I took the vegetable box as he grabbed a tatty bag off of the floor and dumped it on top of the box in my arms. "And here's your clothes."

"Did I have any post?" I asked, hoping that James hadn't dropped any nasty messages by.

"No," Mr Linley said, "unless you count the notes from me telling you that you're evicted. Now scram before I get a restraining order put on you." He slammed the door in my face.

I sighed and went back out to my car. I dumped the box and rucksack in the back of the Volvo and then got in the front seat, pinching the bridge of my nose with frustration. Now what?

I could go to Bella's, with the excuse that I missed her. And it wasn't even an excuse; I _did_ miss her. But then what would I do? I couldn't take advantage of her selflessness and hospitality forever. And I definitely couldn't pay for another place. Not with Cody depending on me just to survive past the next week.

I could go back to James'. No. I'd never go back to that bastard.

I could… that was it. I didn't have anywhere to go.

I sighed and started the engine, completely undecided. I drove around slowly, looking for a place to stay. And then, as I passed Bella's hotel, I stopped searching. I pulled into the car park, and parked the Volvo. Then I got out and got in the back, looking through my bag and pulling out the blanket. I lay across the seats, locked the car and stared at the ceiling.

_Well_, I thought, _at least I have a roof._

It wasn't great accommodation, but it would do. As for hygiene and crap… eh, I'd cross that bridge when I got there. For now, this Volvo was my home.

**~VTN~**

My automatic body clock woke me at half seven the next morning, an hour and a half before I had to be with Bella. I knew what I had to do before I saw Bella again.

I yawned and rubbed my eyes before getting out of the car and getting back into the drivers' seat. I started the engine and headed for my uncle's house, knowing that he wouldn't be at the office yet. I parked the car around the corner and pressed the 'lock' button three times, just to be sure. Then I rounded the corner and looked up at the house I used to live in.

It was an average house; terraced, two bedrooms. When I had asked James why he didn't just buy a huge mansion – he could more than afford it – he had laughed and ruffled my hair and said, "Because, Edward, that would stick out like a sore thumb." I remembered that my fourteen-year-old-self had thought that James was smart. Now I knew that he was a sick asshole that over-planned everything, down to how many bedrooms his house had.

I swallowed down my irritation, and my anger, and knocked on the front door. Then I waited.

Victoria opened the door, wearing nothing but a thin nightgown.

I averted my eyes. "Is James in?"

"Ah, hello, Edward," she said in that nasal voice. God, it made me shudder. "How are things with you?"

"Brilliant," I replied, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "You know, things are absolutely fucking awesome, yep. I've been kicked out of my apartment because I spent all of my rent money on keeping my son alive and I've been threatening people to give James money he doesn't need for the same reason." I left out the fact that I had to kill the girl I loved on purpose. "Yeah, sounds great doesn't it? Absolutely, fucking amazing!"

Then I heard a familiar laugh and James came to Victoria's side. "Edward!" he cawed. "I thought I heard your self-pitying, sarcastic voice."

I glared at him. "I wouldn't have to be self-pitying if I hadn't been brought up by such an asshole."

"Now, Edward, that's no way to talk about your father," James taunted. His eyes narrowed as he stared into mine, daring me to hit him.

For years, I had stuck up for my father. If James had said anything nasty about him, I had thrown such a fit. But I wouldn't give him the satisfaction this time. I swallowed and clenched my fists. "He was just as bad as you," I muttered.

James raised an eyebrow. "What makes you say that?"

I couldn't believe that we were having this conversation on his doorstep. I wondered if him talking about this with me was some kind of revenge for me failing my task. Then I remembered that this was the kind of torture that James frequently used with me; and his revenge would be much, much worse. "You know bloody well what," I hissed. I looked over my shoulder. "Can I just come in for a moment?"

James and Victoria stepped aside and let me into the hallway. I kicked the door shut behind me.

"What did you want, Edward? Your money's at the office, you know that."

I ran my hand through my hair and sighed, deciding to just come out with it. "This is far too risky," I said evenly. "I keep trying to find ways to do it but there's always some way it can be traced back to me."

James' jaw set. He patted Victoria's ass. "Vicky, baby, can you go and make me breakfast? I want an extra rasher of bacon this morning, dollface."

'Vicky' simpered at him. "Yes, of course, baby, I'll be right on it," she said too-sweetly and then disappeared.

James turned to me then. "What do you mean 'too risky'?" he snapped. "I _know_ it's bloody risky! That's why the pay-out's so fucking huge."

I rolled my weight back onto the other foot. "I know but…"

"Look, Edward," James interrupted, "I don't give a damn about you getting caught; you know that. I just want this done. If you're worried about getting caught, then talk to Aro. He did a similar mission for me years ago. And he did that right. I don't care how the hell you do it, as long as you get it done."

"Fine," I said reluctantly, as I realised that I couldn't get out of this. "Fine, I'll speak to him."

James' bad mood didn't lift. "Good. Now get the hell out of my house."

I nodded and opened the door again before heading down the path. James slammed the door shut behind me. Bastard.

I headed round the corner and turned on my phone, going straight to my contacts and the first entry underneath Alice. I hesitated for a long moment once I was in the front seat of my car. What should I say? I couldn't admit that I had no idea how to kill her; Aro would laugh so much. But James was right- Aro was the only person I could speak to with experience. So I'd just have to suck up my dislike for the pigheaded prick and talk to him. Just before I pressed the call button, I remembered something he had said the last time I had seen him.

"_Aro, stay the fuck out of this. This is my job."_

_He raised an eyebrow. "So why haven't you done it already? If I were doing it instead of you, she would have been dead weeks ago. 'Hey there, Miss Swan, want a cup of coffee?' A little poison, done. She's gone. Why didn't you do that, eh, Cullen?"_

"_She's paying me," I said bluntly. "And where am I supposed to get this poison anyway?"_

"_I know a guy that'll get it for me. For free." His eyes sparkled with what he was offering._

And then he had said: _"Take a leaf out of my book. Just doing it works. Dwelling on emotions and shit just puts you in a mess."_

I had dwelled too much. And jeez I was in a fucking huge mess; I had to kill her before I lost her. Was that what I had to do to get out of this? _Just do it?_ So I did. I pressed the call button.

Aro picked up almost straight away. "What's up kid?" he muttered.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a deep breath before saying slowly, "You know the other day…" I paused and then continued, "you said something about… poison?"

Aro laughed. "I see. You've finally got the guts up to go through with this, have you?"

_Hell no. _"Yeah. I have to."

"And you want me to get it for you?"

"I remember you saying that you knew someone that could get it for free," I said, not believing the words that were coming out of my mouth. "Or was that just a little bit of bull?"

"No, no," he replied. "I can get it for you in a few days. I'll send you a text when I got it, yeah?"

I hesitated, and then said, "Can you get some kind of medicinal drug? So that it can look like an overdose?"

"Sure. He's got some stuff that's a pretty strong painkiller. It's legal and shit. For headaches or something, but you're only supposed to take one every twenty-four hours so if you put five in or something, she'll be gone in minutes. Want me to get that?"

"Yes. Yeah. That'd be good. Thanks."

"No problem. It's nice to have you on my side, for once." He snorted at his own joke and then added, "The girl's nice, though. She's got spunk, Eddie."

I frowned. "How'd you know that?"

"Ah… I might have run into her last night."

"No. No you didn't. She promised she was going to stay in."

Aro laughed at me. "Eddie, you are so naive. You really think a girl's gonna do what you ask? You really think that she _likes_ being told what to do? Everyone orders her around; the girl's gonna jump at the chance to break a rule."

"You're lying," I growled into the phone.

"Why would I do that?" Aro sighed. "Just sayin', Eddie. Better sooner than later. And, really, rather you than me, bud. I dunno if I could stick anything into her that ain't my dick."

For a moment, his flyaway comment made me see red. "You fucker. Leave her alone. Don't go near her again."

He chuckled. "You sure you can do this Eddie?"

His nickname for me finally snapped my nerves. "Don't call me that."

"Avoiding the question?"

"Of course I'm not damn sure you piece of shit," I spat. "But I have to do it."

Aro sighed. "I'm sorry."

That really took me aback. The bastard hated me. So why did he feel sorry for me? "Why?"

"Because you're young. You shouldn't have to deal with this crap now."

I ran my hand through my hair. "Well… shit happens."

He snorted. "It certainly does. I'll get that stuff for you. When I text you, I'll use a codename; just in case. See you round Edward."

"Sure, bye," I said shortly, before hanging up. And then heading for Bella's, knowing that I shouldn't be able to look her in the eye when I had just ensured that she only had a few days to live.

**~VTN~**

As I reached the top of the staircase, I heard screaming. I paused on the top stair, ready to help anyone that needed it. But then I heard the agonised shriek. "No, no, no! Wake up!" And the agonised shriek unmistakably belonged to Bella.

I bolted along the corridor and fumbled with my key, unlocking the door at lightening speed before slamming it behind me and running along to her bedroom.

She was lying in the middle of the double-bed, the sheets sideways around her and barely covering anything. Her face was screwed up in panic and her cheeks were flushed, and she whimpered and whined and thrashed from side to side in her sleep.

I went straight to her side, and brushed her hair away from her face, stroking her face gently. "Bella?" I whispered. "Bella, love, you have to wake up."

She grasped my hand tightly, strongly, her nails digging into my palm. "Edward," she whimpered, "Edward, don't let him… no!" Her body twisted sharply in my arms and she shrieked again.

I shook her more vigorously, my pulse racing with panic. "Bella!" I said urgently.

Her eyes shot open then and she gasped loudly as she shot back into the real world. She panted, and then let out a little whimper, before tears started to slide down her cheeks. "Edward?" she whispered.

I relaxed slightly, hearing her voice in a normal tone. I crushed her to my chest and hugged her tightly. "It's okay, I'm here. It was just a dream," I soothed into her hair.

She trembled in my arms. "It was so… real…" she squeaked.

"What happened?" I murmured.

She shivered and I crossed my legs, pulling her on to my lap and then covering the both of us with the duvet cover.

"Do you want to tell me?" I kissed the skin behind her ear gently.

"I… I was watching myself. I was asleep… in my bed and he came… with a knife. But I wouldn't wake up…" Her voice was quiet and unattached, like she wasn't with me.

"Who's he?" I wondered.

But Bella just shook her head. "No one."

I held her for ages, until she stopped shaking. When her breathing became slower, more normal, I squeezed her tightly and murmured, "Are you okay?"

She took a deep breath and blew it out again. "Yes. Yeah, I'm fine." She lifted her head from where it sat in the crook between my neck and shoulder and smiled at me slightly. "Sorry. Good morning, how are you?"

I chuckled. "Better for seeing you. You, however, are going to be late for whatever it was you needed me to take you to this morning."

A tinge of red lit her cheeks and she looked away. "Um… there isn't really… anything I need you for."

My brow furrowed in confusion. "Was it cancelled?"

The corners of her mouth turned up slightly as she shook her head. "No. There wasn't anything; Sunday, remember? I… just wanted to see you." Her cheeks were even redder now.

For a moment I was shocked into silence. And then I laughed. "Good. I want to see you too."

She breathed a sigh of relief and took my hand in hers, threading our fingers together. "I'm glad you're not mad," she whispered.

"I could never be mad at you," I responded quietly. "Ever."

She turned her head to mine and pressed her lips gently to mine. She went to pull away but I lifted my hands and buried them in her hair, holding her face to mine, moving my lips against hers hungrily. As though I was a starving person and she was food. She reached up and entangled her fingers in my own hair, tugging on it and pulling it in every direction. I groaned into her mouth and pushed it open, turning my head to the side and kissing her harder.

When she pulled away to catch her breath, I smiled at her. "So… since you're free and I'm free… Isabella Swan, would you do me the honour of coming on a date with me?"

She giggled and kissed my cheek. "Of course, Mr Cullen."

I remembered my earlier conversation with Aro, and remembered that the girl in my arms wouldn't be with me for much longer. I was suddenly very, very glad that she had called me over. Because I wanted to make the most of the time we had together. "What do you want to do?"

She put a finger on her chin and pulled a cliché 'thinking' pose. Then she grinned at me. "Nothing. Anything. Everything. It doesn't matter, as long as you're here."

A huge grin lit up my face, and I pressed my lips to hers again. In that moment, I was sure that I could define love in just two words: _Bella Swan._

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Gods… you guys like to keep me busy, huh? I really wasn't expecting you to get to 875 that fast. Honestly, I had less than a page written for this chapter this morning and I saw that I had 870 reviews so I kind of got on with it :L**

**Sorry it's a little shorter than usual (and I only checked it through once :S) but this is a DAILY UPDATE people! This happens very rarely :L And the next chapter will be their first official date ;)**

**I don't really have anything more to say that I didn't yesterday so… I'll make it a little harder for you now. I will update on Friday but if we get to… shall we say 950? Yeah, 950. That's 70 reviews and I have no doubt that you can do that before Friday… if not then Friday is only five days away anyway :)**

**Oh! I did forget to tell you that I'm going on holiday next Saturday. Just to my uncle and aunts house and just for a few days but there will not be very frequent updates then- if any. Just a little heads up but I'll tell you more nearer the time :)**

**So… keep your guesses coming :) Most people have got the easy one right and the Edward thing will be a hell of a lot easier now that you've read this chappie, but no one's got the hardest guess right yet ;) And update on Friday at the latest!**

**Please review!**

**Thanks guys :D**

**Steph**


	22. Chapter 21: Slob Day

**WARNING: I've said it before, I'll say it again. This story is for the **_**mature**_** teenage audience, this chapter especially. If you think it should go up a rating then let me know as I won't be branching out into the lemony side of fanfiction with this story but it gets pretty close.**

**Previously…**

_When she pulled away to catch her breath, I smiled at her. "So… since you're free and I'm free… Isabella Swan, would you do me the honour of coming on a date with me?"_

_She giggled and kissed my cheek. "Of course, Mr Cullen."_

_I remembered my earlier conversation with Aro, and remembered that the girl in my arms wouldn't be with me for much longer. I was suddenly very, very glad that she had called me over. Because I wanted to make the most of the time we had together. "What do you want to do?"_

_She put a finger on her chin and pulled a cliché 'thinking' pose. Then she grinned at me. "Nothing. Anything. Everything. It doesn't matter, as long as you're here."_

_A huge grin lit up my face, and I pressed my lips to hers again. In that moment, I was sure that I could define love in just two words: _Bella Swan_._

**~VTN~**

_Show me a smile then; don't be unhappy_

_Can't remember when I last saw you laughing_

_If this world makes you crazy and you've taken all you can bear_

_You call me up because you know I'll be there_

_And I see your true colours shining through_

_I see your true colours and that's why I love you_

_So don't be afraid to let them show_

_Your true colours_

_True colours are beautiful like a rainbow_

_**-True Colours, Cyndi Lauper/Glee Cast**_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 21- Slob Day**

**Bella POV**

Edward looked at me adoringly when he pulled away from the kiss he had initiated. "Seriously, what would you like to do today?"

I looked down at the bed and sighed. "Can I have a slob day? I don't get many of them."

Edward chuckled. "Of course you can have a slob day, love."

I tried – and failed – to ignore the way my heart raced at the word 'love' coming from his lips so naturally. In that instant, I realised that he had never said it before. He hadn't told me that he was in love with me, as I had told him so many times. This was the first time. And it had been a slip of the tongue.

Edward paused for a moment, and then said, "What's a slob day?"

I shrugged. "You sit around in bed or on the sofa watching crap, eating crap and speaking crap."

He grinned. "Sounds fun."

I wriggled off of his lap and on to the bed. "Oh, and we can throw some making-out in there as well."

He gently pushed me on to my back and then climbed on top of me, pressing just enough of his own body weight on me to push his body heat through me and force me to bite back a moan. "Bella," he breathed in my ear in a voice that was so seductive that it should have been illegal, "I _never_ merely make-out with you." And then his lips captured my own and kissed me passionately.

I instantly stopped trying to decode his comment and fell into the kiss, meeting his mouth with the same intensity he poured into mine with teeth and tongues and pure, unadulterated love. I moaned into his mouth as he ran his arm up my side and stroked up and down the right side of my hip. My legs started to tremble just as he pulled away.

He smiled down at me as we both panted heavily. "I like slob days."

"Yeah," I squeaked. "Me too."

I watched as Edward proceeded to pull his top over his head and kick his trousers off so that he almost matched me in the pretty-much-half-naked state that I was in. Then he switched on the TV, lay down next to me and tucked his arms behind his head. I wriggled closer and raked my eyes up and down his body.

"Seen something you like?" he teased, not one to miss my eye-fucking him.

"Mmm," I mumbled in confirmation, not bothering to look at his face.

"You know that looking is prohibited unless you intend to buy, right?"

I finally lifted my eyes to his and grinned. "Oh, believe me Mr Cullen," I purred, "I very much intend on making a purchase."

He muttered a low "fuck" and averted his eyes to the ceiling, his jaw tense.

I giggled like a little girl.

"That giggle is far too innocent for someone so guilty," Edward commented.

"Guilty?" I asked naively, making my eyes wide and guilt-free. "How am I guilty?"

"You know _exactly_ what you do to me," he said. "And yet you continue to tease."

I sighed and pushed myself up on one elbow. "I think it's only fair," I reasoned, "considering the fact that you dazzle me."

He looked down at me. "I dazzle you?" He sounded bemused.

"Frequently," I admitted, my face burning.

Edward smirked. "Am I dazzling you now?"

I scowled and hit his arm. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because you're being a cocky asshole."

He threw his head back and laughed. A proper laugh.

I smiled; I didn't get to hear a proper laugh coming from Edward enough. He was too much of a brooding introvert to ever laugh properly. I knew that there was something he was hiding from me, something fairly serious, but I wouldn't even hazard a guess at what it was anymore. He would tell me when he was ready to. It probably didn't even concern me; probably wasn't any of my business.

Once he had stopped laughing, Edward looked down at me, and caught my indulgent smile. "What?" he asked.

I kissed his bicep. "I just…" I sighed. "I love you."

Edward leant down and pressed his lips against my skin again. His rough hands were back at my torso, rubbing up and down and stroking and touching me everywhere. I gasped and buried my hands in his hair, tugging on it as I had gathered that he liked. Edward instantly moved his mouth to the crook of my shoulder, nuzzling his face against my neck and nipping at the bare skin there.

"Edward," I whispered his name into the sudden intense bubble we were trapped in. My skin felt like it was on fire and my pulse raced as blood bubbled under my skin. The centre of my body was red hot – desperate for him – and I could feel my panties getting damp. I ran my hands down his back as his tongue continued to assault my neckline and his hands held my ass to him, where I could feel his own pressing arousal. So I wrapped my legs around his waist and pressed my burning centre against him.

A cross between a growl and a groan escaped his lips and he lifted his head to look at me with wild eyes. "What are you doing?" he said in a hoarse voice.

"I want you," I replied quietly, feeling the blood rush up to colour my cheeks at my admission. Inside I cursed myself for being so awkward and self-conscious.

Edward didn't seem to notice. "Fuck," he cussed deeply. "God, Bella, I want you too."

"Then take me."

He pushed himself off of me and lay on his back beside me, his chest heaving as he took deep breaths. "I can't."

I looked at him. "Why not?"

He was silent for a moment, and then he said, "Then I really would be too far gone."

"I don't understand what you mean," I breathed.

Edward sat up and looked at me, running a hand through his hair as he organised his words in his mind. "Look, I'm very far from perfect. I've done some stupid shit that I shouldn't have done and… well, I regret it." He met my eyes then. "Bella, I've fucked girls before. More than once. And then… something bad happened and… and I vowed that I'd never just fuck anyone ever again." He tugged on some of his hair anxiously. "I don't want to jump you – or vice versa – the first chance we get. If it's special… we'll wait. Sex shouldn't be about getting some. It should be about love."

I thought about that for a moment, and then I nodded slowly. "But… but this is special," I whispered, taking his hands in mine. "I've never felt this way before. Ever. Not even close."

"Me either." He looked down at our entwined hands. "But loving you is wrong on so many levels."

I sighed. I hated it when he said things like that. So I tried to lighten the mood. "Why? Are you a vampire or something?"

One corner of his lips turned up. "No."

"Well then why is it wrong to love me?"

He shook his head with a sigh. Then he looked at me. "Bella?"

"Yes, Edward?"

"What would you say if… if I told you that there was someone out there that wanted you dead? And someone that had to… kill you?"

I remembered Aro's words from the other night and a cold chill went down my spine. I tried to meet Edward's eyes, but he suddenly seemed very fixated with the pattern on the duvet cover. Was my life really in danger? I swallowed. "Um… is there? Or is this some kind of metaphor?"

Edward took a deep breath and blew it out through his lips. "It's not a metaphor."

I bit my lip. "You mean… someone wants to kill me?"

"No… not exactly…"

"Not exactly? What does that mean?" I demanded, quickly becoming irritated with him for bringing this up if he wasn't going to say anymore. "If it's my life, then surely I have the right to know?"

Edward sighed and looked up at me. "I don't know if there's any way I can keep anything from you now."

"Then don't," I said. I grabbed the TV remote off the bedside table and switched off the TV, turning to face him. "Look, I love you. Nothing you say is going to ever change that. Clearly, there is something wrong- and there has been since I met you. I want to help you, Edward, really I do, but I can't if you're not going to trust me." I hesitated, waiting for him to blow up on me and get angry for bringing up the 't word' again.

But he didn't. He just smiled slightly and said, "I trust you. I just… I don't want to scare you away."

"You won't. I wouldn't care if you _were _a vampire. I don't care who you are, or what you've done. Nothing can stop me from wanting you."

He laughed once. "That's lust, not love."

I shrugged. "I feel both."

He smiled again and then crossed his legs and settled himself across from me. "Where to start…"

"At the beginning?" I suggested.

"Sure." Edward moved again, pushing his bum up against the pillows and leaning against the headboard. I wriggled over and curled myself into his side and his arm came around my shoulder and held me to his side as he started to tell his story.

"I had a fantastic childhood," he said. "I did all the usual kiddie crap; soccer, baseball, went round friends houses. I had sleepovers, too. My Mum, Esme, would make us loads of midnight snacks and let us stay up until three in the morning watching films. My Dad was my baseball coach and he was a doctor at the hospital. He was my hero; I idolised him. We had a great relationship, me and my Dad. I worked hard at school, wanting to get the right grades to get to med school and be a doctor." He sighed. "But then, everything changed."

"What happened?" I whispered.

"I came home from school one day, when I was thirteen, and I heard my Mum yelling something upstairs. I knew that something was wrong, so I dropped my bag and ran up the stairs. I got there just in time to see him stab her. In the chest from behind. Blood went everywhere." His eyes were glazed over as he remembered a different time. "I threw up and he looked at me. I caught his eyes and then I fainted.

"It was my father, Bella. My Dad killed the woman he loved."

I heard the gasp escape my lips. "What did you do?"

Edward shook his head. "I came to on the sofa. The police were there. So were my uncle and aunt, and my father. He claimed that he was innocent; he was a brilliant actor. White as a sheet and everything. He even used gloves so that there were no prints. I didn't turn him in, though. I just said that I had seen her dead, but there had been no one else there. I couldn't just turn in my father. The man I idolised. Watching him talk about her at her funeral made me so… _angry_," he choked the word out. "Dad noticed. After the funeral – after everyone had gone – he came to me. He asked me what was wrong. I got so angry at him. Told him that I remembered; that I knew that he killed Mum. I told him that I hated him and that I didn't want to be his son anymore, and then I stormed up to my bedroom and shut myself in.

"I didn't come out until the next day. And that was only because the police sirens outside had woken me up. A neighbour had come round to bring us a pie she had made – something about feeling sorry for us with no woman in the house – and she found my Dad in the kitchen. She called the police and an ambulance. He was pronounced dead at the scene. Suicide. Not suspicious. Hell, his wife had just died and his son had just said that he hated him – not that I told them that." Edward stopped then, and sighed.

I squeezed him tighter round the middle. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"I know." He squeezed me back. "After that, I went to live with my uncle and aunt. They're awful. James is in with some bad shit and Victoria's just as bad. They didn't care about me. I was left to my own devices. I was confused. In some ways I did hate my father, but in others I still wanted to be like him, be a doctor. So I carried on as I was going to. Obviously, I got a little rowdy. I got into a lot of fights when word got out at my high school that my Dad had killed my Mum, which my uncle actually encouraged. He said it was 'good for me to let it out'.

"Then, on the night I graduated from high school, I spoke to my uncle about going to college in the fall- I had been accepted into Harvard. But he said that he had been planning for me to join his 'gang'. I got really mad- saying that he can't control me. And so I stormed out. I went out to a bar and got absolutely pissed. I woke up next to a pretty girl, with a tattoo across her ass that read 'Denver'."

"Was that the mistake?" I asked quietly, remembering his words earlier.

Edward sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Yes and no. I wouldn't change what happened, I don't think. But… yeah. It changed my life. One night."

"Why?"

Edward puffed out his cheeks. "A few months later…"

Suddenly, a loud knock at the door made me jump. "Bella?" Emmett's voice echoed through the suite. "I need to talk to you."

I groaned and let my head fall against Edward's chest. "It's open," I called back. "Talk about shitty timing," I muttered to Edward.

"Should I… hide?" he asked hesitantly.

I felt my cheeks heat up. "No. He already knows, I'm sure. Rosalie saw us in the pool," I explained.

"Oh. I'm sorry," Edward said. He grabbed his top off the floor and pulled it back over his head anyway, just as Emmett came into the bedroom.

He froze and stared at Edward. Then his eyes moved to me. "What the fuck? Rose told me that you have something to tell me and he's here in your bed!" Then he caught on. "You're together? That's it, isn't it?"

I sighed. "Um… yeah…" I said slowly. "Look, Em…"

"Don't you 'look Em' me, young lady. You _know_ that you can't date."

I gritted my teeth. "I'm not a child, Emmett. You can't tell me what I can and can't do! And you can't tell me who I can and can't love."

He quirked a brow. "You love him?"

Edward squeezed my hand under the duvet.

"Yes," I replied steadily.

Emmett moved his gaze to the Adonis-like creature sat next to me. "I thought you quit?"

"I came back," he told my bear of a cousin.

"I can see that." Emmett sighed. "I don't want to argue with you Bells…" He was speaking to me, but his narrowed eyes remained focused on Edward.

"Then don't," I said sharply.

He reluctantly looked back at me. "Fine. Fine. But you know that you can't be distracted. And you." He turned back to Edward. "Any funny business – any at all – and you'll regret ever being born. I mean that."

Edward nodded solemnly. "Yes, Sir."

"And put some clothes on! Both of you," he barked, before turning and leaving the room, slamming the door behind him.

I blew out a sigh of relief and leant back against Edward. "That went fairly well."

He pursed his lips. "Fairly." Then he got out of the bed and pulled his jeans on again. He turned back and planted a kiss on my forehead. "See you later."

I pushed myself out of bed too. "What? Where are you going?"

"Um… I don't think I should stay," he dodged the question, and I noticed that he was suddenly very detached. I couldn't work out whether it was down to re-living his awful past, or my idiot cousin, or a combination of the two.

"But you haven't finished your story yet."

"I know." He pulled his shoes on. "But I'm really not welcome anymore."

"You're always welcome," I told him, grabbing a lilac top off the end of my bed and pulling it over the camisole I had worn to bed. "Remember that this is my suite, not Emmett's."

Edward nodded. "I have to do things all the same."

"Can I come with you?" I was grasping at straws now; anything to spend more time with him.

"No." His answer was short and sharp as he pulled the door open and went out.

I went after him, stopping him in the hallway. I ignored Emmett's gaze – which I felt on my back from where he stood in the living area – and reached my arms around Edward's neck, hugging him. "I'm sorry," I whispered in his ear.

"It's fine. I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked.

"Aren't you coming back later?"

He was shaking his head before I was even finished. "No. I don't want to take advantage of…"

"You're not taking advantage of anything. I like having you here. I miss you when you're gone."

Edward's arms came around my waist and he hugged me to him. "We'll see," he said, "but I probably won't be back 'til tomorrow morning. Eight thirty, right?"

I didn't really need him until nine but I nodded all the same. "Interviews tomorrow for the concerts." I pulled a face.

Edward chuckled and tried to pull out of my embrace. But that just made my hold on him tighten; I didn't want to let him go yet.

"I'll see you soon," he assured me.

I sighed. "Okay." I let him go, but not before standing on my toes and pressing my lips briefly to his.

"See you in the morning," he said again, before leaving me alone with Emmett.

I turned back to my burly cousin. "Coffee?" I offered.

Emmett shook his head. "No. Thanks." He sighed and came to my side. "Bella, please tell me you know what you're doing?"

"I know what I'm doing," I said evenly.

"He doesn't just want sex?"

I scowled at him. "We haven't _had_ sex, okay?"

Emmett seemed to relax slightly at that.

"Did you get the date for that concert?" I asked, changing the subject.

Emmett nodded. "Yeah. Just threw a bit more money at them."

"Okay. So I can copy a schedule for Edward?"

He pulled a face. "He's not coming is he?"

"Of course he is. Not only is he my bodyguard but he's my… boyfriend now." I blushed as the word left my mouth. We hadn't really agreed on a term, but surely we were past the 'just friends' stage now?

"Fine," Emmett gave in. "Just do what you want with Culling… Cullen, but don't come running to me when he hurts you."

I rolled my eyes. "Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Yeah. Have a good day off; it's one of the last you'll get for a while." Emmett headed for the door. "Oh, and Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Be safe." He grinned and winked at me, and then ducked out of the door before I could throw something at him.

I sighed and shook my head before going back to my bedroom. I found some leggings and a skirt and I pulled them on, while remembering what Edward had told me. I remembered his tattoo, remembered wondering what on earth could have happened to make him feel that an image like that was necessary. Now I understood. He had lost so much in his life, endured so much pain.

Suddenly, as I stared at my reflection, an idea came to me. I lifted my top and looked at the expanse of plain, bare skin across my hip. I thought of the little word on Edward's left hip and I pressed my index finger against the bone on my hip.

_They didn't ask my age_, Edward had said. Well, it was worth a try.

I went over to my wardrobe and opened the door, reaching to the back and pulling out the short, blonde wig and huge sunglasses that I hadn't felt the need to use in almost a year. I turned back to the mirror and started to fix it on my head, covering up every inch of dark hair.

Then I grabbed my bag, and left the suite. This was something I had to do before I chickened out.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Ooh… where's Bella going? This is a 1 on the scale of easy guessing :L**

**Now, I'm gonna say this before I get asked- I know that I didn't explain Bella's dream from her POV but this is going to be a recurring dream so you will find out what she was dreaming ;)**

**Also, like I said at the top, please tell me if you think that this should be going up a rating. Because I know it's getting ruder but… um… it's writing itself? :L Well, I'm not about to kick it out because it's a part of the story. There will not be a fully-fledged lemon, though, I don't think. Because a) the only experience I've had is reading them and I only do that when it's a part of the story and b) I know that there are a lot of readers that would prefer we left this story without sex. But I think that a lot of people read Ts that probably shouldn't be reading this… if you get me? Well, ultimately it's up to you guys so let me know :)**

**Wow guys! 942! That's superb! I would say that I'll update when we get to one thousand but I start exams on Friday so it's probably best that I don't put myself under that sort of pressure :L But I'd love one thousand reviews anyway? *hint hint***

**Oh, and a few people have asked about the new page breaks- the long and short of that is that the fanfic people have put page breaks on the list of things we are no longer allowed to use for some insane reason and they don't show up anymore… so voila :D**

**I think that is all…**

**So please review!**

**Thanks**

**Steph**


	23. Chapter 22: Honorary Girl

**Previously…**

_Suddenly, as I stared at my reflection, an idea came to me. I lifted my top and looked at the expanse of plain, bare skin across my hip. I thought of the little word on Edward's left hip and I pressed my index finger against the bone on my hip._

They didn't ask my age_, Edward had said. Well, it was worth a try._

_I went over to my wardrobe and opened the door, reaching to the back and pulling out the short, blonde wig and huge sunglasses that I hadn't felt the need to use in almost a year. I turned back to the mirror and started to fix it on my head, covering up every inch of dark hair._

_Then I grabbed my bag, and left the suite. This was something I had to do before I chickened out._

**~VTN~**

_So she said what's the problem baby?_

_What's the problem I don't know; well maybe I'm in love (love)_

_Think about it, every time I think about it; can't stop thinking 'bout it_

_How much longer will it take to cure this; just to cure it cos I can't ignore it if it's love (love)_

_Makes me wanna turn around and face me but I don't know nothing 'bout love_

_**-Accidentally in Love, Counting Crows**_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 22- Honorary Girl**

**Bella POV**

"Okay, you can look now," the guy told me. I slowly unclenched my fists, and opened my eyes- which had been clamped tightly shut. And then I looked at my hip in the mirror. I was surprised by how much I liked the text on my hip; the black ink contrasted brilliantly with my pale skin.

After ages of floating between different ideas, I had gone for a tiny black love-heart on my left hipbone and the words 'follow your heart' curving round my left side and ending at the bottom of my spine in tiny black cursive letters.

I smiled and looked at the guy, Jay, I think his name was. "Thanks. That's great."

He grunted his acknowledgment and put the mirror that he had been holding up down again. "I have to bandage it up," he told me, not giving me a chance to respond before he started applying a cold, white cream to my tattoo and lecturing me on proper aftercare.

I nodded as I took it all in, watching as he applied various substances to my burning skin and wrapped it in bandages. Having the tattoo done had hurt, but not as much as I had expected. I had heard a lot about it and had gone in expecting to be in absolute agony. But it had been like being continuously pricked with thousands of sharp needles; painful and annoying, but not intense agony.

I thanked Jay again and paid him for the tattoo and then I made my way back to my suite, excited at the prospect of surprising Edward some time. Of course, it wouldn't actually look like a tattoo for another few days at least; more like a bit of raw, scabby skin. But soon… I wondered what he would think. I wondered whether he'd heed the advice written across my hip. Whether he'd be impressed or annoyed with me.

I knew what Emmett would think, though. He'd disapprove, as he did of everything. Well I wasn't going to let him disapprove. I wasn't a child anymore. Okay, so technically I wasn't legally old enough to get a tattoo without parental consent but… well, my Mum was dead and my Dad was miles away. I lived by myself and I had a full-time (and exhausting) job so who was to control me and say that I couldn't have a tattoo or fall in love with a clearly scarred but beautiful man?

I sighed. Edward. What else had he been going to say after Emmett had interrupted him?

As soon as I thought it, I pushed the question out of my head. While I had been sat in the chair having the tattoo done, I had thought over his last words so many times: _A few months later…_

I wasn't stupid. I knew what kinds of crappy things could happen a few months after having a one-night-stand. But… I almost wished that I didn't. I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that Edward could possibly have another family somewhere else.

Even if it would explain everything.

Especially his reluctance to love me. He was always going on about how bad it was for him to love me, and for me to trust him. He was always telling me how untrustworthy he was and how much better I was than him. I had never been able to understand what he had been trying to say… at least, not until now.

I knew what would be the right thing to do. I knew that I should tell him that he was a two-timing bastard who didn't deserve me or the one-night-stand girl. I should tell him that I never loved him or trusted him in the first place. I should fire him and tell him to piss off.

But I knew that I couldn't do that. I loved Edward. And loving someone meant that you loved them despite their faults. Loving someone meant working through these things together.

And even though that wasn't the _right_ thing to do, I knew that I would do it.

Because I would always follow my heart.

**Edward POV**

Carla was waiting for me at the reception desk when I walked into the infant part of the hospital. She smiled at me. "Hello, Edward."

"Hi. Is he okay?" I asked.

She nodded enthusiastically. "He's responding so well. Even the doctors are impressed by his strength, Edward."

I breathed a sigh of relief. This was some of the first good news I had ever received regarding my baby. It was the first sign that made me wonder if everything – all of this fucking shit – would be worth it in the end. For a split second, I had an image of a little boy laughing. He had a mess of copper-coloured hair that glinted in the sun, and wide, sparkling blue eyes. His chin was sharp and defined and his skin was a perfect shade of tan from the sun. He was a right little heartbreaker. And he was my son.

And he _was_ going to live.

I'd be damned if we'd gone through all of this crap for nothing.

I looked back to Carla. "Can I see him?"

"Sure," she replied easily. "You'll have to wear these, though." She handed me a hospital mask and some latex gloves, and then came around the desk and led me along the corridor. We went in a different direction to his old room, down a different corridor and to a white door, with a little handwritten plaque on it, reading:

_Cody Cullen- Tetralogy of Fallot_

Carla hesitated when her hand was on the door handle. "Remember what I said yesterday; he looks a little worse than before. But he looks pretty good for a child in his situation."

I nodded, and she opened the door for me, letting me step inside. The first thing I noticed was that I wouldn't be able to touch him anymore. His incubator no longer had holes in for me to put my hand through and stroke his little palm. But then I got closer and saw the rest of the wires. If I had thought that there were a lot before, then there were tons now. They intertwined everywhere, all around his sleeping body, all different colours. They were attached to his face, his wrists, his chest, his neck… everywhere. I swallowed back the lump that had formed in my throat and went closer to his side. Now, he even had a life-support machine.

"I'll leave you alone," I heard Carla whisper from the doorway.

I looked back. "Wait."

She paused.

"Can he hear me?" I asked quietly.

Carla bit her lip. "Edward, he's in a medically induced coma—don't worry he can be brought out of it—but we don't know whether he can hear us. But we usually suggest talking to people in comas, to see if it brings them back."

"But he can hear through the plastic?"

She nodded, a little smile at her lips. Then she waved her fingers slightly, and left me alone in the room with Cody.

I sighed and moved closer to Cody's side. I watched him through the incubator for a long moment, watched his little chest rise and fall steadily. He was so small. If I could have held him, he would have fit in one of my hands. He had only weighed in at a pound and a half when he was born, and he had only gained half a pound since- and that had been a month and a half ago now. But then… a lot of babies lost weight in the first month so I supposed that half a pound wasn't too bad.

Eventually, I spoke. "Hey there, my little warrior." I snorted at the nickname that had just left my lips. "Sorry, Cody, I have no idea where that came from." I looked over my shoulder and grabbed a chair from the side of the room, pulling it closer to the tiny plastic box.

The beats of Cody's little heart were echoed around the room by the machine, and each one seemed to relax me, like a lullaby.

I licked my lips. "I've been kind of stupid." I stared at Cody's face, watching his puckered lips for a change; an acknowledgment. When nothing happened, I continued anyway. "I nearly told Bella about you. You know, Bella, the… the nice lady. I nearly told her about what I have to do. I'm sure she'd understand – she understands everything – and she'd probably forgive me for everything. She's just so damn nice like that. But… I don't think I could ever forgive myself. Hell, Cody, I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

"I only know that I love her. I do love her. But… I can't tell her. I've tried. Whenever she says it to me, I want to say it back but the words just literally cannot leave my mouth. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I can't bear the thought of telling her that I love her and then… killing her." I whispered the last part. "It would be like lulling her into a false sense of security. But if she knows everything and still _wants_ me to love her… then it would be fine.

"Well, not _fine_ because… that could never be fine." I raked my hand through my hair. "No. Even if she wanted to be loved by someone that was going to do something so monstrous – even if she still loved me back – I couldn't justify loving her. I _can't_ justify loving her.

"I'm scared, Cody. I'm fucki- sorry, freaking terrified." I paused then, thinking of all of the things that I was scared of. "Firstly, I'm scared of losing you. I'm scared that I'll mess up and James will hurt you, or take you away from me. I'm scared of making your Mum's death pointless. That's what I'm most scared of, and that's why I have to do this.

"But then… I'm scared of turning into _him_. He is my father… But I don't want to do that. I don't want to kill the girl I love. He just… did it. Cold-hearted. I hope he's burning in _hell_ for what he did," I spat viciously. "I don't want to be like him… but I'm going to. I'm going to kill her just like he killed Mum.

"And then… I'm scared of me. I'm scared of what I'll be like after all of this. What if I fall apart without her and can't look after you? What if I get caught and you have no one? That's not the worst thing, though. The worst thing would be if everything was fine. What if I killed her and took you to some place nice with all that money? Then we'd have a wonderful life and everything would be great." My fists were clenching furiously with the picture I was painting in my head. "I'd just leave the path of destruction behind me. I'd hurt everyone else and reap the rewards, the benefits." I let my head fall into my hands and I pulled hard on my hair. "I'm a stupid, selfish fuck," I muttered to myself.

And it was true.

**~VTN~**

People always said that sharing your problems made it easier to cope with them. I wondered if that only counted for people that could talk back to you and help you because when I left Cody I just felt worse than I had before.

And that bad mood intensified when I remembered that I had no home to go to.

I stopped the Volvo a few blocks away from the hotel, outside a chip shop. I got out and bought a large portion of chips in a polystyrene box. God, I hadn't had chips in months. I covered them in salt, and tomato sauce and then headed back to my car. I drove a further few blocks away from the hotel, and ended up in the public parking for the public gardens. I remembered the last time that I had been here, with Bella. Valentines Day. When she had first brought up trust.

I thought of how far we had come since then. How much deeper the hole I was digging myself into had gotten. And that had only been in a few short weeks.

I sighed and got out of the car, taking my chips over to a nearby bench and digging in. I tried to eat slowly and make them last but I hadn't had food since… since the Chinese Bella and I had shared the night before and my stomach was impatient; the chips were gone in seconds.

Then I sat back and stared up at the twilight sky. A little sign on a house a few feet away caught my eye and I read it: _to rent_. I wondered what it would be like to live there, even just on a temporary basis. I wished that I had enough money to find out.

Thinking about that was depressing me so I looked over at the rushing stream and wondered what Bella was doing right now. I wondered if she was thinking about me, as I was about her.

But then a pair of hands covered my eyes and a mouth was at my ear. "Guess who?"

I sighed and pushed her hands away with a smirk before tilting my head up. "Oh, I'm sorry, I have no idea since you're not tall enough to see," I teased.

Alice pouted before plonking herself down on the bench next to me. "Hi to you too."

I chuckled quietly. "What are you doing here?"

She shrugged. "Jasper has to work on some kind of dissertation thing so I decided to get some fresh air. What are you doing here?"

I frowned, wondering whether I should just tell Alice the truth about being kicked out of my apartment. But then she'd probably let me stay with her, or make me stay with Bella and I didn't want to live off of their hospitality like some kind of leech. So instead I said, "Yeah. I needed some air too."

"How are things?" Alice asked, kicking her legs off the end of the bench.

I sighed. "Um… same old, I guess." I hesitated. "Cody… Cody had his first operation."

She looked at me. "Really? That's great! Wait, did it go okay? When was it?"

I smiled slightly at the onslaught of questions. "It was… okay. He's worse than he was before but Carla – that's his doctor – said that it was to be expected. She said that he's doing a bit better than they anticipated. It was on Saturday, but I didn't stick around to watch. I… I couldn't."

Alice nodded in understanding. "I don't think I could either." Her hand fell to her stomach.

"How are things with you?" I returned the question, gesturing toward her stomach.

She rolled her eyes. "God. Different. Jasper's coming around to the idea of being a Dad. He said… he said that he was just annoyed with me for not telling him. Not the fact that I was pregnant. We're definitely keeping it." She bit her lip and then said, "Can… can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

She pursed her lips, as though she were thinking about how to word something. "When you knew… about Cody, I mean… did you… did you love him? Did you instantly feel something for him?"

"Honestly?" I knotted my fingers together. "No. Not really. But then… it was kind of thrust upon me. It was a one-night-stand and I barely knew the girl so when she said that she had to give it up for adoption, of course I was fine with it. Besides, I had a career planned and all; and that couldn't take a backseat for a baby of all things. Tanya did have this kind of major attachment to him, though. She told me that she had tried to abort him but she couldn't do it. She told me that she felt so guilty for even trying that she fell in love with the baby. She told me that she wanted to keep him so badly but her life had no room for a family. So we agreed to find people that would love him and that wanted him. People that were ready for a baby."

"But you love him now," Alice stated.

It wasn't a question but I nodded anyway. "Yeah. The second I first saw him I loved him. And when Tanya died, it kind of multiplied. It was like Tanya had pushed her love of him on to me." I looked up and met Alice's sparkly blue eyes. "It was like that." I snapped my fingers. "I knew that I'd never be able to let him go."

"See… I feel like that already," Alice told me quietly.

"Well, you're carrying it so… it's a little bit different." I bent down and plucked a strand of grass from the ground and then started pulling it between two fingers and watching it curl round.

Alice watched me for a moment in silence. Then she crossed her legs and sat back slightly. "How's Bella?"

One side of my mouth twitched up. "How do you know I've seen her?" I replied mysteriously.

Alice hit me round the back of the head. "Hello? Bella is my best friend. I spoke to her Saturday night and she told me you'd been round."

"Oh." I guessed I should have figured that one out.

"Oh indeed," Alice giggled. "So?"

I cleared my throat. "Alice, do you realise that I am a guy? I'm not going to engage in a nice bit of girly gossip with you." _No, because I only did that with my month-old son._

Alice rolled her eyes. "Anyone can engage in a bit of gossip, Eddie-boy. Tell me all about it." She winked at me.

I glared at her. "Fine. Just don't call me that again."

She laughed.

I took a deep breath and blew it out through my teeth. "What do you want to know?"

"What did you do on Saturday?"

"You mean Bella didn't tell you?"

She hit me again.

"Ow! Stop that!" I rubbed the back of my head, feigning injury. Then I sighed and said, "We went swimming in the hotel pool for a while. Then we fell asleep… well, _I_ fell asleep on the sofa and then we ate Chinese. Happy now?"

"Oh come _on_, Edward!" she exclaimed exasperatedly. "You're bad at being an honorary girl."

"I'll take that as a compliment," I muttered.

She scowled. "You shouldn't. Details. Did you kiss her?"

Ridiculously, I felt my cheeks heat up a little. Was I _blushing_? "Yes, Alice."

She grinned. "I knew it. How many times?"

I raised my eyebrows. "Jeez, I dunno! You girls keep tallies?"

"No. Well… not _tallies_…"

"_Jesus_," I murmured. "A fair few, okay? Do you have any idea how weird this is for me?"

Alice laughed. "Yes. Keep going."

"Erm… Rosalie caught us making out in the pool?" My uncertainty of whether this was the kind of thing that Alice wanted to hear made my statement a question. When she nodded enthusiastically, I continued. "Then I sat with her this morning and talked." My brow furrowed at the memory of waking her up from her nightmare. "She… she was having a nightmare when I got there. All screaming in her sleep and shit."

Alice frowned then. "What was she saying?"

I strained to remember. "She said… something about waking up. And then I shook her and told her to wake up and she said… 'Edward don't let him- no'… but I don't know whether that was a response to me being there or whether I was already in her dream."

"Did you ask her about it?"

"Yeah but she just said that… she said… um… oh yeah!" I felt my pulse pick up when I remembered what she had said. My mouth went dry and I stopped talking.

"She said?" Alice prodded.

I swallowed and then answered, "She said that she had been watching herself sleeping and then he came with a knife… but she wouldn't tell me who he was."

Alice frowned. "Odd."

I nodded in agreement, but my mind was in another place altogether now. I remembered Aro telling me on the phone that he 'might have run into her' on the night that I _told_ her not to go out! What had he told her? What had he said? I didn't want to, but I had a feeling that I had to confront either one about it… and I knew which of the two would give me honest answers.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Gosh, Alice :L Ah I love that girl :L**

**So Bella got a tattoo huh? I think that most of you got that one ;) I don't know anything about tattoos and aftercare etc so I've kind of side-stepped around that minefield :L But I do intend on getting a tattoo when I turn 18 ;) Oh and I know that they'd probably ask for ID before giving tattoos but I'm kind of being deliberately vague about this because I think that the age of consent for a tattoo is different in different countries… :S**

**BTW! I have a kind of visual for Bella's tatt! I found a perfect photo of the exact tattoo… but it is on someone's foot :L So you can see that on my website and I will probably put it up on my photobucket account too, and maybe facebook. While you're there, you can check out the pics I made for this story, FOM and PTP ;) Yes, I had writers block and was very, very bored :L**

**Anyways… it's about to get a bit more paced now, this story. At least in my plan it is. I have been known to deviate so… y'know… But! Soon this angst will be moving aside to make room for bigger and better angst and some good ol' drama too :D And, of course, the revelations you've all been waiting for. Well, Bella's already halfway there, isn't she? Even if she HAS got the wrong end of the stick… :L**

**And guys… can I just say a HUGE thank you for getting this story to one thousand reviews! Woo hoo that really made my day :D And 21 is my lucky number so the thousand on 21 was great ;) You know, it took exactly 21 chapters for AMMM to hit the big thou as well ;)**

**Btw PTP readers- I've posted a sneak preview on my facebook page ;)**

**Again, I don't know when the next update will be, but I'll hazard a guess at sometime next week?**

**I guess I'll see you all then!**

**Please review?**

**:) Thank you!**

**Steph**


	24. Chapter 23: Uncharacteristic Badassery

**Previously…**

_I strained to remember. "She said… something about waking up. And then I shook her and told her to wake up and she said… 'Edward don't let him- no'… but I don't know whether that was a response to me being there or whether I was already in her dream."_

"_Did you ask her about it?"_

"_Yeah but she just said that… she said… um… oh yeah!" I felt my pulse pick up when I remembered what she had said. My mouth went dry and I stopped talking._

"_She said?" Alice prodded._

_I swallowed and then answered, "She said that she had been watching herself sleeping and then he came with a knife… but she wouldn't tell me who he was."_

_Alice frowned. "Odd."_

_I nodded in agreement, but my mind was in another place altogether now. I remembered Aro telling me on the phone that he 'might have run into her' on the night that I told her not to go out! What had he told her? What had he said? I didn't want to, but I had a feeling that I had to confront either one about it… and I knew which of the two would give me honest answers._

**~VTN~**

_This time is ours_

_If I could hold this moment in my hands_

_I'd stop the world from moving_

_I'd stop the grass from turning_

_This time is ours_

_Inside a frozen memory of us_

_And we are motionless, motionless_

_**-Ours, The Bravery **_**(So far my favourite song off of the Eclipse soundtrack… but I did only buy it yesterday :L It is pretty fitting to the chapter though so… eh)**

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 23- Uncharacteristic Badassery**

**Bella POV**

_It was dark. Horribly, horribly dark. A pale hand stretched out in front of my vision and pushed open a door that I hadn't seen. Then as the angle that I was watching from spun, I watched as the man approached a bed, a huge blood-covered knife in his left hand._

_It was the same man that I had spoken to two nights before when I had deliberately disobeyed Edward's command to stay inside. But his face was twisted and he looked evil. I felt my heart start to race with panic._

_He got to the bed then and pulled back the sheets, revealing a sleeping girl._

_I waved frantically at the girl, yelling and screaming for her to wake up, though what use that would do I didn't know. But the man didn't turn and the girl didn't wake. He lifted the knife above her chest, and time slowed down as I realised that I was trapped and unable to reach them. At the same time as I realised that she wasn't just a girl… she was me._

_And just as the man's arm whipped down, my eyes snapped open and I watched my death approach with no way to stop it._

"Bella!" a voice pierced my subconscious and I heard my voice, shrieking nonsense.

"Bella, wake up," the first voice repeated, more urgent now. I recognised it. Soft velvet mixed with rough, rugged gravel. And then there was a pressure on my lips.

My eyes lightly fluttered open and I remembered who the voice belonged to. I relaxed slightly under his touch and let him kiss me gently. When he realised that I was awake he pulled back slightly and his arm came around my shoulder. "Are you okay?" he murmured.

I nodded wordlessly, sliding over slightly to let him climb in next to me as he had the day before.

He didn't say anything, just held me close to his side and rubbed my arm soothingly, as you would with a child. I sat in his arms for a moment until I calmed down enough to glance at the clock, which read 8:30am. I groaned quietly and slid across the bed, but Edward's hand tightened on my hip. I ignored him and grabbed a mint off of my bedside desk, popping it into my mouth before he could smell my God-awful morning breath.

"Bella," he whispered in my ear, "talk to me."

I bit my lip and then looked up at his face. "Hi?"

"You know what I mean." He scowled, looking more adorable then he had any right to. He had probably wanted to look intimidating, but he just looked cute.

I giggled. "You look like I've just taken your candy."

He scowled even more and he dragged me back to his side. "Are you honestly okay?"

"Yes!" I said in an exasperated tone. I gestured to the clock. "Edward, I really have to get up. We have to leave at nine to get to that damn office."

"Office?" he asked.

"For some teenage magazine. I can't remember where; there's a sheet in the kitchen. You can check that out while I get changed."

He snorted. "I'd rather check you out while you get changed."

I felt my cheeks redden as I laughed slightly into his shoulder.

"Jokes and nudity aside…" Edward cleared his throat and became serious again. "There is something I want to ask you about…"

His tone made me cautious. I bit my lip. "Yes?"

Edward hesitated before saying, "You went out by yourself."

My brow furrowed slightly and then I remembered a few nights previously, when I had deliberately gone out alone just to disobey him. I frowned, my annoyance coming back. "Yes," I said indignantly.

When he spoke again, it was almost a growl. "Why?" His hold on my waist tightened and he had gone all still; something I had gathered was his reaction to stress. "Why did you do that? Don't you take anything seriously?"

I shrugged out of his embrace and glared at the foot of the bed. "I'm not your belonging, or some robot that you can order around."

Edward frowned. "So you only went out because I told you not to?"

"Yes! You _told_ me! That's all anyone ever does! My record label tells me what songs to sing and my accountant tells me what I can spend my money on. My personal trainer tells me what I can and cannot eat and what exercise I can and cannot do. Photographers tell me what poses to pull and stage managers tell me where to sing, how to act and which dances to do. Emmett tells me which jobs to take, who to listen to and how to live my life- and then Rosalie tells me to listen to Emmett! The only people that _ask_ are interviewers and the paps and they're all energy-draining, well-dressed leeches who would sell their soul for a bit of cash, let alone my secrets." I moved my glare from the end of the bed to his face. "Is it so much to ask for one person who doesn't tell me how to live _my_ life? Is it so bad to want a little bit of control over my own life? Is it selfish to want a boyfriend who understands that I'm a person- not his pet?"

Edward had the decency to look a little guilty. He seemed stumped for something to say for a moment, but then he murmured, "Is that what I am?"

I was confused. "An energy-draining, well-dressed leech?"

He laughed once. "No." His hand came up to cup my face. "Your boyfriend." His voice and his eyes were soft, but there was an edge to both; as though he was afraid of my answer.

My anger slipped away in the face of his uncertainty. I leant into his hand. "Is that what you want to be?"

He pursed his lips for a moment. "I want you to be my girlfriend."

My first instinct would have been to smile at his admission. But then I remembered my suspicions that he had another family. A _real_ family. He wanted me to be his girlfriend, his bit on the side. And that's what I would be. Because I was incapable of saying no to him.

"Then that's what I am," I whispered.

A smile lifted the corners of his lips. And then he leant over me and kissed me, his soft lips pressing against mine in a way that was somehow slow and fast, passionate and needy, hot and heavy all at the same time. I gasped into his mouth and fisted my hands at the bottom of his t-shirt, before running them underneath and up his glorious abs.

Edward pulled his lips away from mine before this could turn into anything more exciting and then he sighed. "You should get changed if you want to get to this thing on time."

I tried to hide my disappointment by nodding and then reluctantly pushed him out of the room before turning to the wardrobe and picking out the clothes Alice had told me to wear to this interview on the phone a few days before.

**Edward POV**

"I _think_ that went okay," Bella said uncertainly as she climbed into the passenger seat of the Volvo. She bit her lip and looked at me. "Did I sound like an obnoxious, spoilt brat?"

I remembered one article about her from a few months back – before I had known her – that had described her as an obnoxious, spoilt brat and wanted to strangle whoever had written that article for making my beautiful Bella doubt herself. "No," I replied, "definitely not." I didn't actually _know_ this for sure because I had spent the whole interview checking her out rather than listening to her answers to the overly personal questions. I mean, I had heard some, but I had sat across the room from her wrapped up in my own thoughts of how incredible she was.

Since when had I turned into such a girl? Oh yeah, since Bella.

She smiled a little at me as she did up her belt. "Thank you," she said quietly. Then she leant across the seat and kissed my lips briefly before settling back into her own seat.

I blinked in surprise and then pulled on my own belt. "What was that for?"

"For… well, for being there. For being you." She shrugged. "Whatever." She glanced at the clock, noticing that it was just past two. "Let's get lunch; I'm buying."

I pouted but started the car anyway, preparing to drive to wherever the hell Bella wanted to go. "Why do you always do the paying?"

"'Cos I'm rich and you're not?" Bella snickered.

My lips twitched. "Touché. Where to then, Miss?" I asked in a fake British accent.

Bella considered for a moment. "Somewhere with crappy junk food. I feel like having a fat day."

I grinned. "I know just the place."

**~VTN~**

An hour later, we sat across from each other, the empty McDonalds boxes scattered across the table in front of us. Bella laughed into her hand, completely drunk on chocolate milkshake if there was such a thing, and then groaned. "_God_, I don't think I've ever eaten so much!" She held her stomach. "I think I'm gonna explode…"

I laughed at her and held out another box of fries. "Want more?"

She looked at them like she was seriously considering it and then glared at me and pushed them away. "No." She sounded angry. "Don't tempt me. Hell, Emmett's gonna kill me!"

I shrugged. "What Emmett doesn't know won't hurt him."

Bella sighed and looked down at the fries again. Then she rolled her eyes and took a handful. "Whatever. When I wake up with spots erupting all over my face tomorrow, we'll tell him it's an infectious disease."

I snorted. "Yeah. Fast-food-itus."

"Har har," Bella said sarcastically.

I helped myself to more chips. We had ordered tons, and hadn't even eaten half of it. When I had seen the price, I had tried to persuade Bella to not order it since we were never going to eat all of it just between the two of us, but she waved me off, telling me that if she wasn't allowed to splurge her money on a house she was at least gonna buy_ some_ crap with her millions.

We agreed to head back to the hotel and do something for the rest of the afternoon and started shoving the leftovers into empty happy meal boxes.

"At least I won't have to food shop for about a week," Bella muttered.

"Mmm…" I murmured vaguely, trying to ignore the voice in my head that said _you might not be alive for about a week_. I wasn't thinking about that. I was going to have fun with Bella now and face… _that_ when it came. I would fall off that bridge when I got to it. Not now. After all, my life was pretty much going to end when hers did anyway. I didn't think I could ever go back to the way I had lived before Bella after knowing her. My life and hers were twisted into a single strand now. Cut one, and you cut both. At least… that's the way it was for me. Without her, I would become an empty shell, functioning only for Cody.

I shuddered, and Bella looked up at me questioningly. I tried to pass it off as nothing by asking, "So what shall we do this afternoon?"

Bella was silent for a moment, packing chicken burgers and beef burgers into boxes with a look of intense concentration on her face. Then, a smile lit her expression. "I know what I want to do!"

"What?" I suppressed a smile; she sounded just like a child.

She smiled coyly at me. "You'll see." She looked across the now pretty-empty table and held up the couple of boxes she had. "Can we ditch these in your car?"

I froze, remembering all of my shit on the backseat. "I'll do it," I said, probably too fast, and then grabbed the boxes from her and darted out to the car before she could ask. The prospect of her finding out that I was living in my car was… too worrying to consider. Because then she'd want to know why I don't live at my flat anymore and I couldn't come up with a reasonable excuse. And I couldn't well say that I had been kicked out for not paying, since she and Emmett paid me more than enough to rent a decent apartment.

I moved all of my crap into the boot and then ditched the food on the backseat in record speed before heading back to McDonald's. When I got back, Bella was stood outside, surrounded by a bunch of about thirteen teenagers even though she had put her giant sunglasses back on. "They stop me being approached every twenty seconds," she had explained to me that morning. "I don't mind being asked for autographs but it gets a bit intrusive after a while. Plus, it keeps the paps away."

I grinned and perched on a nearby wall as I waited for Bella to finish with her fans. I watched as I did so, and watching her interact with these young girls made me love her even more. She was so kind. She asked them all questions as she signed their various things, and actually looked interested in what they were saying. She posed for photos, and laughed and waited patiently when one girl had to go and get new batteries from her parents' car. To an outsider, Bella looked like she could have just been another girl in their friendship group. Well, actually that wasn't true, but if they weren't taking so many pictures, she could easily have been just another girl.

But she wasn't just another girl.

I knew that better than anyone else.

She was smart, and kind, and funny, and beautiful even when she was grouchy. She was caring, and sweet, and innocent, but she didn't take any crap. She didn't get crappy morning breath and she cared about things that were so small that they should go unnoticed. She had her imperfections- she had a short temper and sometimes lost her verbal filter, saying things she didn't want to say, or didn't mean. Plus, she often jumped into things without thinking about consequences or ramifications, she was the clumsiest girl alive, and God knew she was the epitome of stubborn. But even her imperfections were perfect in my eyes. And she made me fall in love with her a little bit more with every breath she took.

She wasn't just another girl.

She was amazing. Brilliant. Wonderful. She was perfect.

When the last girl had stuttered out her last 'thank you', Bella finally looked up and caught my gaze, smiling nervously when she saw me staring. I dropped the intensity instantly, realising that I must have looked like some kind of stalker, and grinned instead. She loped lightly to my side and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry about that."

I couldn't resist; I pulled her into the tightest hug I could. She balked in surprise at first, but then settled herself comfortably into my body, her arms roping around my waist and hugging me back.

"You're amazing," I whispered into her hair.

"Um… thank you?" Her statement sounded like a question.

I laughed and released her from the tight embrace.

She rocked backwards a little and then shook her head, trying to focus. "Um… what was that for?"

I shrugged, and then echoed her words from earlier, "For being you."

Her cheeks tinged pink and she ducked her head, but I had already seen the smile she was trying to hide.

"So are you going to tell me what it was you wanted to do?" I asked after a moment.

"Nope," she replied, popping her lips on the 'p'. "I'm going to _show _you." And then she took my hand and surprised me by pulling me gently toward the shopping plaza across the road.

"Shopping?" I couldn't hide the surprise in my tone.

She made a face. "Ugh, no way. What do you think I am? A girl?" She shook her head. "No, we're shopping with a purpose."

"How is that different to shopping?"

"It means we go in, we buy what we're there for, and then we leave. We don't spend hours trawling through clothes. Alice persuaded me to go clothes shopping with her once and we were there for _eight hours_, no kidding."

I blew out a huge breath. "Wow. I'm never going clothes shopping with Alice. Ever."

Bella nodded. "I made the same promise. Alice is determined to get me there again. But, believe me, it's so not happening."

I laughed and then blanched in surprise when I saw the name of the shop we were headed to. I looked at her. "A gaming store? Since when have you been into computer games?"

She scoffed at me. "We're not getting a computer game." Then she smirked devilishly. "I'm gonna pussy-whip your ass at guitar hero."

I was stunned into silence for a moment. Had Bella just said 'pussy-whip' and 'ass' in the same sentence when she wasn't mad as hell? She was definitely high on milkshake. Then I blinked at her. "Guitar hero?"

She stared at me. "Please don't tell me you've _never heard of guitar hero_?"

I hesitated. "Um… it's got something to do with a guitar?"

Bella looked completely astonished. "Christ, Edward. What kind of childhood did you have? Guitar hero came out when I was twelve and me and Emmett played it all the time until I started working. It's completely awesome." When I didn't respond, Bella's eyes widened. "Oh crap. Edward, I'm sorry. I forgot that your parents…"

I hugged her to my side. "It's fine. Sounds fun." I cocked a brow at her. "You'll have to educate me."

**~VTN~**

Two and a half hours later, we had just finished connecting everything. Who knew it took so long to stick a couple of plugs in the back of a TV? Well, apparently it was a lot more complicated than that…

"Okay, I bagsy guitar for the first song!" Bella cried; she was still a little bit hyper. Her verbal filter had completely vanished and I had been crying with laughter at some of the retarded stuff that had been flying out of her mouth all afternoon. I didn't think I had ever laughed so much.

"Sure, I'll sit this one out," I volunteered graciously, though I was secretly thanking the lord that I didn't have to make a fool out of myself.

Bella rolled her eyes, though. "No! You can do drums or singing. Which one?"

"Um… drums…" I said slowly. I wasn't about to make a fool out of myself by singing in front of a professional. That would be just embarrassing.

Bella set the drums up for me and then started to scroll through the list of songs on Band Hero (she had picked the newest game that they had in stock) and picked 'Dirty Little Secret' by the All-American-Rejects.

As soon as it started I knew that I was crap at this game. I was on beginner and I still couldn't hit the drums in time with the beat. So after a few failed attempts, I sat back and watched Bella rock it up on the guitar. And she kicked ass. Big time. I was really enjoying watching her so I nearly cried when we failed, thanks to my non-existent drumming.

Bella's head snapped to me. "Edward!" she shrieked. "You're not even trying!"

"I did try!" I protested. "I just… I missed every note and… so I gave up."

She rolled her eyes and hooked the guitar off of her shoulders. Then she handed it to me. "Try guitar- it's a little easier for a beginner."

I poked my tongue out at her like a child, but slung it over my neck, trying to hide my happiness when she grabbed the microphone. Unfortunately she caught my grin.

"What?" she demanded, blushing. "I suck at drums too."

"Oh that's not… I didn't mean…" I stuttered and then trailed off, too embarrassed to admit the real reason for my smile.

"What then?" she repeated, sounding a little more relieved this time.

I ducked my head and mumbled, "I may or may not have a small obsession with your brilliant singing voice…"

She blushed, the only way she knew how to react to a compliment, and then said, "Like a screaming fan?"

I chuckled. "Not quite." I hesitated and then added, "I do have all of your albums though…"

She stared at me. "And you haven't told me before?"

I shifted uneasily under her scrutiny. "Um… no. It's embarrassing."

Bella laughed and took my hand, brushing her lips across the back of it, before turning and scrolling through the songs again. Then, unsurprisingly, she picked Taylor Swift's 'Love Story'.

She grinned at me and shrugged her shoulders and we launched into it. Bella was right; the guitar was a lot easier. We made it through the whole song that time, even though I was a little distracted by Bella's singing voice. I had hit just under 70% of the notes, but Bella had got 100%. Surprise, surprise.

"Hmm… what next?" Bella mused to herself as she scrolled through the list. But her musing was interrupted by a knock at the door.

I was instantly tense. I was always tense when there was even the slightest possibility of danger and Bella in the same sentence. Luckily, she didn't notice me follow her to the door.

"Oh," she said when she opened the door, "hey Jake."

"Hey yourself," he replied with a grin. He held up a cardboard tray with three Starbucks frappuccinos on and quirked an eyebrow. "I was in the neighbourhood and decided to drop by."

Bella laughed and hugged him. "Wow, thanks Jake." She took one off of the tray. "Hey, you wanna come in? You'll never guess what we're doing…" She trailed off suggestively, making it sound like an innuendo.

"What?" Jake asked, instantly glancing over her shoulder and seeing me. His eyes widened when he saw the guitar, which I had forgotten to take off. I mentally berated myself for that- fat lot of good I'd have been if it had been someone dangerous at the door. "No way!" Jake said in disbelief. "Oh my God! Guitar hero! I haven't played that game in, like, forever!"

Bella glanced over her shoulder, glaring at me playfully when she realised that I was what had given the game away. "Yeah," she answered Jacob. "Wanna join?"

"Hell yeah! I call drums!"

Bella rolled her eyes and stood aside to let him in, smiling at me as she brushed past after her friend.

I headed back after them, taking my seat on the couch next to Bella. She took one of the frappucinnos off of the tray and handed it to me. I frowned. "Isn't this yours?"

She snorted. "No. Jake usually has two because he's greedy and could probably swallow a cow whole."

Jacob nodded, pretending to be reluctant to admit this. "It's true."

I smirked and took a long drag of the drink through the straw. "Yum." Then I watched and waited for Bella to choose another sweet girly song, like another Taylor Swift, or Joss Stone, or Lily Allen, or maybe even the Spice Girls. I felt my eyes widen in shock when I saw what she did choose.

"Seriously?" I heard myself breathe, because the idea of Bella singing this song was… well… pretty hot.

Jake reached around Bella to lightly hit my shoulder. "Dude. You obviously don't know Bella that well if you don't know about her secret… badassery." He laughed.

I looked at Bella, expecting her to blush, and was even further surprised when she laughed with him. She just smiled at me, and then the opening chords started. I had to fight to keep up with it this time, and I so badly wanted to ditch the guitar and watch Bella. But at least I could hear her sing.

_I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation_

_You're living in the past it's a new generation_

_A girl can do what she wants to do and that's_

_What I'm gonna do_

_An' I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation_

_Oh no not me_

Wow.

Bella was awesome at being badass. Totally and superbly awesome. Was there anything she couldn't do?

The girl found new ways to amaze me every freaking day. And I loved her for it.

When the song finished, Bella collapsed onto the sofa, and I slipped my arm around her. "Can I make a suggestion, sweetheart?"

She looked up at me, looking shocked at the nickname. "Uh… I guess so." How on earth could she go back to being shy, sweet little Bella after doing a performance like _that_?

I leant in and whispered, "I think you should add that as a bonus track to your next album."

She looked at me thoughtfully. And then she shook her head. "Nope."

Jake rolled his eyes at me. "I've been trying to get her to do a track like that for years. She won't have it."

I looked back at Bella and pulled out the pouty face. "Not even for me?"

"Not even for you 'sweetheart'," she teased, sticking her tongue out at me. Then, she turned back to the game and picked 'Pictures of You' by the Last Goodnight. That was much tamer and less surprising and much more beautiful and Bella.

I was almost disappointed.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Okaaaay… where did that come from? I honestly have no idea. But I have been so stuck on this for a few weeks now (well, since I last updated) and couldn't get past the end of the BPOV. And then on the way home from an **_**extremely **_**shitty RS exam this afternoon I was listening to bad reputation on my iPod and was like… hmm… wouldn't it be funny if Bella and Edward played guitar hero and Bella sang that song? So I decided that they needed some lovely little fluff and somehow wrote the longest chapter that I ever have.**

**I'm not entirely sure what to think of the chapter (even though it's the longest one I've ever written…), but hopefully you guys thought that it was okay. Because this is not my usual thing at all, especially not for this story. It's the kind of thing I usually try to avoid because I find fics that are just everyday fluffy things throughout a little… tedious? There has to be a storyline for me- sorry. But hopefully it's not too bad as a one-off :D I quite liked writing it, I guess… so it turned out to be long ;)**

**And, I just have to say here, that I adore Guitar Hero. I don't own it (sadly) but I have played at plenty of my friends houses :D I did research to find songs and you CAN find all of the songs mentioned in this chapter on Band Hero.**

**The song Bella sings at the end is 'Bad Reputation' by Joan Jett. This is partially because of the whole 'wouldn't it be funny…?' thing above, and then, yes, partially because of the Twi-link ;) And also because I love the word 'badass' but I can't say it without sounding like a dork because I'm English :L I will post links to all of the songs mentioned in this chapter on my website ASAP.**

**And, just in case you're wondering, Jacob's spontaneous arrival isn't completely random- it will be explained in the next chapter :)**

**Oh, and voting has started at the AH awards! Go and vote if you want to. You don't have to vote in every category, but you can only vote once.**

**Uh… I think that's all. Did I mention that this is the longest chapter I've ever written? More than 4,000 words just for the chapter and 10 pages! ;)**

**I did mention that? Oh.**

**Well, then… uh… could you please show me some love and review? The most reviews we've ever gotten for one chapter is 55. Do you think we can hit 60? Can we try?**

**Thanks so much! =)**

**-Steph**


	25. Chapter 24: Different First Impressions

**Previously…**

_I leant in and whispered, "I think you should add that as a bonus track to your next album."_

_She looked at me thoughtfully. And then she shook her head. "Nope."_

_Jake rolled his eyes at me. "I've been trying to get her to do a track like that for years. She won't have it."_

_I looked back at Bella and pulled out the pouty face. "Not even for me?"_

"_Not even for you 'sweetheart'," she teased, sticking her tongue out at me. Then, she turned back to the game and picked 'Pictures of You' by the Last Goodnight. That was much tamer and less surprising and much more beautiful and Bella._

_I was almost disappointed._

**~VTN~**

_I've never felt like this before_

_I'm naked around you; does it show?_

_You see right through me and I can't hide_

_I'm naked around you; and it feels so right_

_**-Naked, Avril Lavigne**_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 24- Different First Impressions**

**Bella POV**

Eventually, I excused myself from our Guitar Hero session to go and shower, leaving Edward and Jacob sat next to each other on my sofa, intensely focussed on the game.

When I got back, though, it was a different picture altogether.

The game had been packed away out of sight and Edward had moved to the other side of the room. One of them had made hot drinks and they were glaring at each other over the rims of their mugs. I didn't fail to notice that both of their mugs were empty.

I ran my hand through my damp hair and asked suspiciously, "What's going on?"

Jake's head snapped to me and he forced a smile on to his face. "Nothing," he said instantly.

My eyes narrowed. Jake was pretty good at lying to the press, and I suspected that he'd be able to sneak a lie past me, so I turned to Edward who still hadn't looked up. "Edward?" I prompted.

He shifted his gaze from Jacob's face to mine. "Nothing," he muttered as well, though he looked down into his empty mug and stared at the bottom of it for a while, allowing the three of us to sink into silence.

I shifted awkwardly on my feet, debating what to say to break the silence and, hopefully, the tension too. Luckily, though, Edward's phone broke it for me. Jake and I jumped when it rang, but Edward didn't move and let it keep ringing.

"Edward?" I said again. "Are you gonna get that?"

He sighed and pulled his phone out of his pocket. He grimaced when he glanced at the caller ID, but said, "Excuse me," anyway and left the room.

I bit my lip, but then flopped down in the armchair, not wanting to favour either Jake or Edward by choosing their sofa.

"Bella, I need to talk to you," Jacob said in a hushed voice then, coming and perching on the arm of the chair.

I glanced at the door and then back at Jake. "What is it? What's going on?"

"Nothing's 'going on', as you put it." He wrung his hands together. "It's just… Bella, I don't like him."

I rolled my eyes. "Why not?"

"He doesn't seem… honest."

I scoffed, but didn't comment on how hypocritical that was.

"Seriously!" Jake insisted. "He's up to no good. For instance-" he slid down the arm so that he could whisper in my ear "- you're paying him enough aren't you?"

My mouth popped open and I turned to glare at him. "Of course! Bloody hell, Jacob, why would you ask _that_?"

"Because I saw him the other night – and he was sleeping in his car." Now he had that satisfied look on his face, presuming that he had proven his point to be true.

I scowled. "Jake, that doesn't mean anything. He probably just fell asleep while waiting for something; he's done it before."

"Let me get this straight- he lay across the back seat with a blanket for a ten minute nap while he waited for you… at eleven o'clock at night?" He quirked a brow. "Right."

"I'm sure he had his reasons," I blew it off, thinking of his little apartment; I'd prefer to sleep in a Volvo to that place. But, then again, surely he could afford a new place now?

"Really?" Jacob pressed, taking advantage of the hesitation displayed on my face. He didn't give me a chance to say anything before he continued. "So I came to the conclusion that either you haven't been paying him enough for him to own or even rent an apartment… _or_ he's up to no good."

"Jake," I whined, dragging out his name. "Please." I sighed. "Look, I trust Edward."

Jacob stared into my eyes for what seemed like forever. Then, eventually, he nodded and whispered, "You love him."

I pursed my lips and looked away, unwilling to admit it but determined not to say anything.

He drew in a deep breath and then blew it out through his teeth. "That's it."

"That's what?" I asked hesitantly, instantly defensive.

"That's why you're blind to his faults. You won't accept the fact that he's doing something idiotic with his wages because you think he's so damn perfect!"

I blinked at him, shocked for a moment. Then I regained control of myself and hit his shoulder. Hard. "You…" Lost for words, I just shook my head. "Don't you _dare_ insinuate that my boyfriend is a… a…"

"Druggie?" Jake supplied the word I was searching for.

I hit him again and then crossed my arms over my chest and sunk back into my chair. "You're wrong."

"But… don't you get the feeling that… that he's dangerous?"

My eyes narrowed. Why did everyone come to the conclusion that Edward was dangerous? I thought back to when I had first met him. My first impression hadn't screamed danger; I had fallen into his eyes and melted under his gaze. Like… almost like love at first sight. I hadn't really believed in love at first sight- I had presumed that you'd have to get to know someone before you could fall for them but, in retrospect, I realised that the feelings I had for Edward had snapped inside of me the moment I saw him. It was like… gravity moved, and he was the thing holding me where I was, holding me on the surface of the earth. Without him, I was nothing, even though I barely even knew him. The fact that I had fallen in love with him on the spot probably contributed to me not finding him dangerous. Also, the fact that the first time I met him, he was saving me from possibly never coming back to the hotel- that might have been another possible contribution.

I looked back at Jacob and stared him right in the eye as I said, "No." But, though I said the word firmly, a shiver went down my spine as I remembered another time. When I had come home from the spa day to find that he had let himself into my suite and then proceeded to annoy the shit out of me, and then turned me to mush with a touch and an-almost kiss. It wasn't that bit that I was remembering, though. It was the very second later- when he had shoved me to the floor and started to yell profanities out of the window. In that instant, he had scared me a little. Actually, he had scared me quite a lot.

And then it was like that one memory broke the dam and a barrage of others came flooding into my mind.

The time that he had told me that I shouldn't trust him, down in the public gardens- when he had defended his point with vicious vehemence. The time that he had ranted in the coffee shop about people being upset about things that they shouldn't be. The time that that man had told me to learn to trust Edward if I wanted to stay alive. The things Edward had told me about his parents and the possibility that he had a second family.

Edward was hurt, scarred, and hiding a heap of secrets. I knew that. But was he dangerous? I thought it over for a second and came to the conclusion that Jake's first impression was possibly right. There was every possibility that Edward was dangerous, every possibility that being with him wasn't the smartest thing. But I was in too deep to back out now, and backing out was the very last thing I wanted to do anyway. Besides, I wasn't about to give Jake the satisfaction of being right.

I sighed and lifted my gaze to look him in the eye again. "You're wrong," I said again, but even I could hear how much surer I was of myself this time.

Jacob sighed and pushed off of the sofa, understanding that I wasn't going to accept his suspicions. He took his mug to the sink and I heard running water.

I hesitated, and then went after him. "Jake…"

"And, by the way, have you seen this?" he asked, shutting the tap off and going over to the bag he had brought in with him.

"Seen what?" I followed him and watched as he pulled a magazine out of the carrier bag. I rolled my eyes when I saw the glossy back cover. "Jake. You know as well as I do that gossip magazines are complete rubbish."

"Really?" He turned it over and showed me the cover. "This is an interview, Bells."

"Oh. What's wrong with it?"

He flipped it open and turned to the huge spread of me on it. I cringed at the photos but luckily Jake flicked past the spread to the interview. He pointed to a paragraph and told me to read it, so I did.

"_The next question we put to Bella, as she fiddles unconsciously with her hands and bites on her bottom lip, is about her love life- a topic unavoidable for young stars as she has already realised. When we ask about her rumoured relationship with LA footballer Jacob Black, she laughs and rolls her eyes. "I knew that one was coming," she says, "but I can _honestly _tell you that there is _nothing_ there more than friendship there.""_

I looked at Jacob, confused. "What? It's true."

He waved a hand at me dismissively. "Keep going."

I frowned and looked back, continuing to read.

"_So, of course, we asked her whether there was someone special in her life. As is the case with most celebrities these days, we expected her to do as her agent told her to beforehand and deny, deny, deny. So we here at the editing HQ were astounded when she ducked her head and blushed like the teenager she is as she said, "Yeah, there's… someone. But… it's complicated." She wouldn't say any more about that, but we noticed the way her gaze moved to the man who came in with her- something that had happened numerous times since they entered the room._

"_He's tall, and well-built, and extraordinarily good-looking, and we're unsurprised that Bella Swan has been able to snag herself such a man. Moreover, his eyes do not move from her face during the entire interview and it seems that he is as absorbed by her as she is by him. But there is something about him that intimidates us. We can't read what until Bella reveals him to be her bodyguard: "My agent hired him to scare off anyone who wants to kill me," she laughs, clearly not worried about such a thing. "I think it's all a bit ridiculous but I'm glad Em [my agent] hired him- we get on really well and I can't imagine my life without him." We don't fail to notice the way her eyes light up as she speaks of the unnamed bodyguard. It's very clear that…"_

I stopped reading then, not wanting to read their speculations- however true they were. "What, Jacob? What is wrong with any of that?"

"Nothing's_ wrong_ as such," he replied, but he frowned taking the magazine back from me and said, "But, come on Bells, even the magazine people can tell that there's something about him…"

I decided to toy with him a bit; it was better than taking him seriously and getting into an argument. "So Jake… you think Edward is 'extraordinarily good-looking', huh?"

He glared at me. "You _know_ what I mean- he intimidates them!"

"Yes, I do," I conceded, annoyed, "but I don't know what you're trying to get at."

Jake hesitated and then said, "Do you know what he told me when you were gone?"

"What?"

Jacob quietened his tone. "He said that…"

But Jake was cut off by Edward coming back in, slipping his phone in his pocket. I looked up at his face, noting how different he looked from when he had left the room. He looked tired – worn down – and almost hopeless. He met my gaze with eyes that harboured so much regret and pain that it seemed impossible.

I was instantly at his side. "What's wrong, what happened?"

"Nothing," he assured me, the dark cloud of agony disappearing from his eyes. Though they were still the most gorgeous emerald green colour, his eyes were empty, and it sent a pang of panic through me; I knew that he was lying.

I heard Jacob sigh behind me, but I didn't turn until he said, "I'll be on my way, then, Bella."

I looked over at him and smiled slightly. "Okay, Jake. I'll see you at school."

He nodded, but didn't say anything else as he left. He didn't take the magazine with him and I wondered if that had been intentional until Edward broke into my chain of thoughts.

"I should be going too," he murmured.

I whipped my head back around. "No!" I took his hands in mine and whispered, "Stay, please."

Edward smiled sadly and looked down at our linked hands. "But I've been here all day."

I bit my lip, also staring at our hands. I knew that he had other places to be, other things to be doing, but I couldn't help but want him here with me. I never wanted to let him go, especially not when he seemed as down as he did now.

I was still thinking about what to say, when Edward gave a huge sigh and gave in. "Okay. I'll stay for a little bit more."

The corners of my mouth stretched into a huge smile and I wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my face into the crook of his neck and breathing him in. "Thank you."

He relaxed in my arms and slipped his own around me as well. "You're welcome," he breathed into my hair, and then he muttered "It's the least I can do," so quietly that I wasn't sure that I was supposed to hear.

**Edward POV**

I stayed true to my word and stayed with Bella all evening, until late twilight morphed into pitch black night time. I knew that she knew that I had been lying when I had told me that nothing was going on after that phone call, but she didn't ask again, and I was thankful for that. I mean, what was I supposed to tell her?

_Yeah, that was a work friend – who I'm not actually friends with because he tried to shoot you a couple of weeks back – calling to tell me that he had the poison I asked him to get a few days ago. The poison is actually for killing _you_ to keep my baby son – who you actually think is my nephew – alive because my uncle is a shithead who wants you dead for reasons I can't work out. FML and LOL! But, anyway, what do you want for dinner- Chinese or Indian?_

That would have gone down a storm.

Plus, I had my suspicions that Jacob was stood outside listening to our conversation for a good half an hour after he had left. That could have just been me being paranoid, or it could have had something to do with the conversation we had had whilst Bella was in the shower.

When Bella fell asleep on my lap while we sat on her sofa that night, I picked her up and carried her through to her bedroom, laying her gently on the bed and then going back through to the sitting room to write her a note. I wrote:

_Bella,_

_I have to go home to collect a delivery in the morning. I'll be back by nine am._

_Love,_

_Edward x_

I guessed that that would appease her if she woke, even if it wasn't entirely true, and left it on the pillow beside her before slipping out into the night and getting into my Volvo. I drove a few blocks away to a part of town I doubted I'd be seen in before setting up camp in the backseat for the night. I wasn't stupid; I knew that Jacob would likely drop by to see if I slept in the car again, or get Emmett to watch me from his window. If he wasn't doing that already.

**~VTN~**

He was waiting for me already, as he'd said he would be. My mouth mashed together into a hard line and I took a deep breath before approaching. Aro's back tensed when he heard my approach and he turned in a defensive stance, ready to knock me out if I was a passing police officer. He relaxed when he saw me. "Edward, my man."

I skipped the pleasantries, taking the cash out of my back pocket and tossing it to him. "Two hundred, it's all there."

Aro hesitated, but then tucked it in his front pocket. In return he handed me an envelope. It didn't look too out of place or suspicious, which was a good thing.

I took it off of him and pushed it into the pocket I had just taken the money out of, before turning and heading back in the direction I had come from; I didn't want to stay with him for any longer than was absolutely necessary.

But he stopped me. "Edward, wait."

I briefly debated ignoring him, but I felt like I owed him – despite him taking the money for the medication-slash-poison, even after he had promised that it would be free – so I turned back to face him. "What?" I asked flatly.

He came closer. "There are eight doses in there. You're supposed to take one dose every twenty-four hours, so four would probably do the job. If I were you, though, I'd give her six or seven and leave the rest in one of her cupboards so that it does look like an overdose. BUT, if you do that, make sure that you don't leave _any_ evidence. No fingerprints on the packets, the mug… anything. Got it?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah. Thanks." I turned away again.

"Edward, wait."

I whipped around. "What _now_?"

Aro looked as though he was debating telling me some kind of shit, but then he chickened out and came forward to slap my arm again. "Good luck."

I narrowed my eyes at him, wondering what his bag was. Sometimes he was a bastard to me, but other times it was almost like he was trying to be really fucking nice and I just didn't get what the fuck that was all about.

Aro laughed, as though he could hear my thoughts. "Edward, I know what you're thinking."

"What then?" I challenged.

"You're confused because I'm being nice." He laughed again, to himself this time, though. "You know-" he was serious again then "-just because I work for James doesn't mean I'm a cruel bastard. I care about things too, you know."

I just raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, fine," he said, holding his hands up. Then, he dug into his front pocket and brought out my money. He held it back out to me. "Take it back, then."

Now I was really fucking confused.

"You don't think I can do good," Aro explained, "so I am. Take the money. Your son needs it more than I do, Edward. He deserves it."

I hesitated.

"Just take the fucking money!"

I took it with a sigh. "Why?" was all I could say.

Aro appraised me with his eyes for a second, as though he were sizing me up. But then he shook his head, a sad smile on his face. "One day, I'll tell ya, kid." Before I could ask any questions he nodded his head in the direction I had to go. "Now, fuck off, Edward."

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks." Then I got out.

The moment I got into my Volvo, though, my phone rang. I sighed as I got it out of my pocket, expecting it to be James checking up or something, so I was surprised when 'Carla' flashed across my screen. I frowned and answered, "Hey, Carla, what's up?"

The moment she spoke, I didn't like her tone. "Edward, you need to get here now."

I started the engine immediately, though I didn't end the call. "Why, what's wrong?"

"It's Cody," she said quietly. "He won't come out of his coma."

"_Shit_," I hissed as my heart dropped into my stomach. "I'll be there as soon as I can." I hung up, without waiting for her to reply. Then I tossed my phone and the envelope into the glove compartment and sped off to the hospital.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Sorry, sorry, sorry! :( Sorry about the cliffie! Really, I am.**

**Before anyone asks, the interview in this chapter was (obviously) not the same one that they did the day before. Nothing gets published that quick :L**

**_IMPORTANT- _**_If you check out my profile frequently, then you will know that I'm participating in the FANDOM GIVES BACK auction. I'm auctioning a one-shot, two-shot, three-shot or outtake. Honestly, I'm not expecting anyone to actually pay for anything I write (mostly because I think a lot of you guys are teenagers who, lets face it, can never buy anything online) but, God, I would be majorly happy if one person paid, like, a dollar._

_It can be anything you want and it's written exclusively for you so if you want, say, to hear what really happened with Alice and Jasper when the baby revelation was made back in chapter 14 and how they made up- you can make it happen. I'm even willing to give you a pre-prologue or post-prologue sneak preview: so YOU will be the ONLY ONE to know how Bella dies… if she dies ;)_

_It's for an EXCELLENT cause and anything is really, truly appreciated by me and by the children being helped by this auction. I'm just so proud of the Twilight fandom for doing this and the women in charge are just incredible. So if you can spare a dollar, or maybe a little more, then that would be GREAT. If necessary, I'd be more than happy to put more one-shots up for auction. There are links on my profile if you want them :) Thanks :)_

**OMC GUYS! 5 FRICKIN DAYS TIL I CAN SEE ECLIPSE! I am mega mega mega excited beyond belief :D I know, I know, some of you guys can see it before me but… well, 5 days! :D I'm soo looking forward to the tent scene :) And the proposal. They're my favourite chapters in the whole saga so they better have done them right :S**

**And, I feel like saying this, Kristen Stewart is really impressing me recently. I mean, I've loved her for ages now (not like **_**that**_** you pervs :P) but recently she's really kind of come out of her shell which is brilliant! The Eclipse PR is **_**much**_** better than it was with NM :) And, Lord almighty, Rob actually is starting to be a halfway good Edward *cheers* (judging by trailers and clips- only a few of which I have watched because I don't want to watch the whole goddamn movie in two minute sneak previews like I did with NM :L)**

**And! More exciting stuff! I've finished my exams and broken up from school :D And it's my prom on Wednesday- though that's kinda scary :L**

**Anyways… I'll stop blabbering now. Well, actually, there is one more thing.**

**Thanks so much for all of the wonderful reviews! I was having a conversation with Emily on facebook (there's another mention for ya ;)) and she said that she was surprised that I replied, which really quite shocked me. And I just want you guys to know that I **_**wish**_** I had enough time to reply properly to every review, but then you'd never get updates… :S**

**So I came up with another solution. I will send out a preview to every signed reviewer because that won't take up a lot of time and it's also a kind of reply… you think? Well, whatever, if you review, you get a preview now so yeah :)**

**Plus, the next chapter is where it gets exciting ;)**

**Please review! (But please don't brag about how you get to see Eclipse before me- I **_**will**_** cry)**

**Thanks :)**

**-Steph**


	26. Chapter 25: A Fork in the Road

**Previously…**

_The moment I got into my Volvo, though, my phone rang. I sighed as I got it out of my pocket, expecting it to be James checking up or something, so I was surprised when 'Carla' flashed across my screen. I frowned and answered, "Hey, Carla, what's up?"_

_The moment she spoke, I didn't like her tone. "Edward, you need to get here now."_

_I started the engine immediately, though I didn't end the call. "Why, what's wrong?"_

"_It's Cody," she said quietly. "He won't come out of his coma."_

"Shit_," I hissed as my heart dropped into my stomach. "I'll be there as soon as I can." I hung up, without waiting for her to reply. Then I tossed my phone and the envelope into the glove compartment and sped off to the hospital._

**~VTN~**

_Smile though your heart is aching_

_Smile even though it's breaking_

_When there's a cloud in the sky you'll get by_

_If you smile through your pain and sorrow_

_Smile and maybe tomorrow_

_You'll see the sun come shining through for you_

**-Smile, Charlie Chaplin/Glee Cast**

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 25 – A Fork in the Road**

**Edward POV**

Carla was waiting for me in reception when I got to the hospital of course. She shot me a tight-lipped smile and led me down the corridor toward Cody's room without saying a word. I wrung my hands together nervously.

When we got to Cody's room there were doctors crowded around him. I shut my eyes as one doctor injected him with something; I didn't want to watch them do that to any baby, much less _my_ baby.

"Why did you call me here?" I asked Carla quietly, knowing that she was still stood next to me without opening my eyes; I could smell her perfume. "I don't want to see this."

"You don't have to watch, Edward, you can go back to the waiting room if you want to," she replied, just as quietly.

"Why?" I repeated, not missing her aversion of the topic.

She sighed. "You told me to keep you updated, and that's what I'm doing." Her voice was calm, but I didn't miss the edge in it.

My eyes snapped open and I stared at her until she felt my stare and turned her hazel eyes to me.

She sighed again, but answered this time, in a hushed voice. "They think it's crazy but hear me out- you talk to him, don't you? When you're in here?"

I felt my cheeks warm slightly – huh, must've been picking that shit up off of Bella – but I nodded slowly.

"Well, I think it could help. Maybe…" She hesitated, but then whispered, "maybe you'd help him."

I couldn't understand how others had thought this suggestion crazy. But, then again, they weren't the one with the unconscious son. I nodded. "I'll try anything."

A tear trickled over my cheek as I looked down at Cody in the crook of my arm a while later. He was so small that it was hard to hold on to him, but I did. The wires still ran in and out of him, making it almost impossible to hold him properly, but I made the most of it. Because I hadn't dreamt that I'd be able to do this for a very long time- if ever.

I didn't know what Carla had said to the doctors to persuade them to let me hold him alone, but I was pretty grateful. I could guess, though, and my suspicions made my blood run cold. Maybe Carla thought that Cody wouldn't make it. Maybe they were letting me have the only chance I ever would to hold my son.

I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, not wanting to think like that. But how could you be anything _but_ negative when things looked so bleak?

"I'll do it, Cody," I promised in a rash whisper. "I won't put it off anymore. I swear. And then I can get the money off of Aro and we'll… we'll be fine. I won't even hesitate. Just… please."

I didn't have any more words. I didn't know what I could do to make it better. Some father I was.

I had always thought that parents always knew what they were doing. Most children did, I supposed. Adults had an answer for everything. So why couldn't I get any answers out of anyone? Jacob had been no help the day before whatsoever.

As I sat there wondering what the hell I could do, I thought about my own Dad. Carlisle. I remembered good times, like when he had taught me how to ride a bike when I was little, and when he had helped me with homework, and when he had taken me to special places. I remembered all of the birthday parties he had thrown for me and all of the opportunities he had given me, and all of the advice.

"Edward," he had said once, "one day you're going to meet a beautiful, beautiful girl and you're going to love her with all of your heart. You're going to want to give her everything you possibly can and you won't be able to live without her. When you meet that girl, don't wait for her to catch you when you fall; you just have to be sure that she's falling right beside you. And if she's falling with you, then don't let her fall out of reach because you're going to need her when you hit the ground."

I had pulled a face and told him that he was being silly and that girls were icky and I would never like any girls. But now… now I understood everything that he had said. I also knew that Bella _was_ falling beside me, but she was already out of reach. She had never been within touching distance; our lives were just too different.

Besides, I had hit the ground running long ago.

I looked back down at Cody's tiny round face, his lips slightly parted, his shock of coppery hair sticking in all directions already, and sighed. I wanted the opportunity to do all of the things that Carlisle had done with me- and much, much more.

Up until now, there had been a difficult decision. It was like I had to choose between Bella and Cody. But now I saw that there was really only one way that I could go. Because as much as I loved Bella, as miserable as I'd be without her, I knew that choosing her over the boy in my arms who hadn't even had a chance to live would be the most selfish thing in the world.

I had come to a fork in the road, and I knew which path I had to take.

The hours passed slowly. I knew that I should have been picking Bella up and taking her somewhere, but I couldn't bring myself to leave Cody when he needed me.

After a while, doctors came and took Cody from me. They hooked him up to various machines and pumped different drugs into him. They explained what they were doing as they did it, but nothing really went in. It was like I wasn't really there.

I had to leave him when they took him off to do a brain x-ray or something though. I sat in the cafeteria for ages, waiting for Carla to come and tell me that I could go back.

It wasn't long before a familiar laugh pulled me from my internal panicked thoughts. I looked up across the cafeteria to see Bella's little friend, Alice, hanging off the arm of a tall blonde man. Both of them were smiling hugely, and Alice was giggling like a little girl.

I turned slightly in my chair, trying to hide without drawing attention to myself. It didn't work.

"Edward?" Alice asked a few minutes later.

I looked up from the table to see both her and the man stood opposite me. I smiled wryly. "Oh. Hey Alice."

She frowned. "Aren't you supposed to be taking Bella somewhere today?"

I shrugged. "I was… distracted." It sounded awful, like I didn't care, but maybe that was the best thing for me at the moment. Maybe it was better to kid myself that I didn't give a damn about Bella.

Alice pulled the chair out with a loud squeak as it slid along the hard floor. She sat opposite me and looked up at my face timidly. "What happened?"

I pursed my lips, but didn't say anything. I couldn't look at Alice's hugely sympathetic expression without feeling like I was going to cry so, instead, I looked blonde guy up and down.

"Oh, this is Jasper, my boyfriend. Um… Jasper, this is Edward…" She trailed off, not knowing how to introduce me.

I sighed and held my hand out. "Bella's boyfriend," I offered.

Alice's eyes sparkled as Jasper took my hand. "Are you guys official now then?"

I nodded. "I guess so."

"That's awesome! Congratulations!" Alice was like a little ball of energy. How could she always be so happy?

I sighed, wondering if they had figured out what was wrong with Cody yet.

"Edward?" Alice whispered. "It's Cody, isn't it?"

I smiled sadly. "How did you guess?"

She smiled sadly as well. "It'll be okay. He'll be fine."

"Yeah," I said quietly, though I wasn't at all sure of anything. "He's a fighter." My phone vibrated then and I grabbed it, my pulse increasing when I saw that it was from Carla. "I have to go," I muttered, standing up.

"Edward," Alice stopped me and reached over to squeeze my hand, "it'll be okay. If he's anything like you then he'll be just fine."

I nodded and smiled at them both. "Thank you."

Carla was waiting for me in the reception area. I wondered when I'd stop being surprised by her extraordinary kindness.

"Is he okay?" I asked instantly.

To my intense relief, she smiled and nodded. "Edward, he's fine. He reacted to a different drug and he's awake now."

At that news, my whole body relaxed. "Can I see him?"

She bit her lip. "That's the bad news. They're keeping him in quarantine for twenty-four hours and doing every medical analysis they can to find out why he stopped responding like that."

"Okay," I said, surprisingly relaxed now I knew that he was fine… for now. "I have things to do anyway." I smiled at Carla and thanked her again before heading for my Volvo.

If I drove fast enough I could be at the right place in time to pick Bella up. Then I could take her back to the hotel and get on with it. I would answer all of her questions honestly, and then I would just do it.

I had made my choice; it was too late to back down now.

**Bella POV**

He hammered on the door again. Hard. "Bella." Emmett's voice, coming from the other side of the door, was irritated. "Just let _me_ take you to the damn shoot!"

"No!" I replied angrily. I stared at my reflection and rubbed my eyes again, trying to get rid of the red rims around them. But I had no luck doing that _or_ stopping the tears. It was ridiculous. I shouldn't be this worked up because he was a little late. Okay, forty minutes late, but I was sure that he had his reasons. Edward just wouldn't do that to me… would he?

Emmett sighed from outside the room. I heard his footsteps walking away and then the front door slamming.

I let out a breath of relief and sniffed as I slid down the wall to make a Bella-puddle on the cool tiles of the bathroom floor. I concentrated on my breathing so that thoughts of Edward wouldn't fill my head and get me in a worse state than I was already in. But, of course, that didn't work.

What if I had been too clingy by asking him to stay and he had gotten fed up with me? What if he had quit the job, as he had said he would so many times before? What if he had been in an accident?

My 'what if's were interrupted by another knock at the door. This one was softer than Emmett's incessant hammering, and for a second I wondered if Edward had finally turned up. But then Rosalie said, "Bella? It's me… please open the door?"

I hesitated, and then reached up and clicked the lock open. A moment later, Rosalie pushed the door open and came in. She shut the door behind her and slid down the wall so that she was sat next to me. Neither of us spoke for a while, and the only sounds were our almost-silent breaths and my not-so-silent sniffs and hiccups.

But then Rosalie said, "Bella, I know how you feel."

"No you don't," I replied quietly.

She laughed once, humourlessly. "Yes I do. A few years ago, a while before I met Emmett, I was with a man named Royce, Bella. I thought it was love." She sighed, in a different time now.

I looked at her, wiping my eyes. "Wasn't it?"

"Definitely not." Rose shook her head with a sarcastic smile. "We were engaged, though, and I thought that I was happy with him. Royce was… a little like Edward."

I raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to start describing Edward as the bad guy- dangerous and bad for me.

But she didn't.

"You know, gorgeous, kind and selfless. At least… he appeared to be." Rosalie met my eyes. "I know how you feel about Edward, Bella, I've been there. Royce was a fan of mine – you know that I've modelled for years – and I met him at an after-party. He asked for my autograph and he was so humble and lovely, so I gave him my autograph and he gave me his number in return. We dated for a while and he was so… so… lovely. He acted a little strange from time to time, but still I thought the world of him. No one else did, though. They all told me that he was bad news- that I should stay away from him. But I was young and naive so when he proposed, of course I said yes. When my parents found out they told me that I was being stupid." Rose's eyes were glazed over as she retold her story. She stopped then, though.

"Did you marry him?" I asked in a hushed tone.

"Not in the end."

"What happened?" I prodded when she didn't offer anything else.

She sighed. "I found out that he was with me for the money and the fame. I overheard him telling a friend his plans to divorce me as soon as he could and take me for half of my money. I was distraught. I confronted him a few nights later, but that was a mistake."

"Why?"

Rosalie played with a bit of her gorgeous blonde hair. "Royce had… a bit of a thing for drink. Like I said, I was stupid." She sniffed. "I didn't notice the empty bottles until I had already asked him what the fuck he was doing. He went ballistic, Bella." She reached up pulled her hair round to the left and pulled her top down slightly so that the right side of her collarbone was showing.

I squinted at it and then gasped when I saw the long, raw, red line. I looked up at her. "He did that?"

"Yes. I told him that we were done, that I wanted someone I could trust, not a double-crossing bastard. And he… well he hurt me. Badly. I got this scar from one of the broken bottles."

I flinched; I could see the picture only too well. Rose, bruised and bleeding, having an empty bottle smashed over her head.

Rose sighed again. "The neighbours called the police and Royce was arrested. Thankfully, though, the press didn't get wind of anything. There were rumours – of course there were rumours – but they usually involved one of us cheating. There was no violence, or drunken brawls.

"In some ways, though, I'm glad. Because I wouldn't have met Emmett."

I frowned slightly. "How _did_ you meet Emmett?"

A smile played at her lips. "I took part in a shoot to raise awareness about women in abusive relationships at the same studio where you were recording your first single. I met him in the…"

"No, I remember." I nodded. "In the cafe?"

Rose smiled. "Yes."

I bit my lip nervously and fiddled with my fingers. "Does Emmett… does he know?"

"About Royce you mean?"

I nodded.

"Yes," she answered. She put a finger under my chin and tilted my face up so that she could look into my eyes. "Bella, why else would he be so worried about you? Why else would he presume the worst in every guy that gives you 'the look'?"

I blinked; I hadn't thought of it from that perspective.

"Edward has a lot of things in common with Royce, Bella. I'm not saying that they're the same, or that Edward is bad, but… we just want you to be careful. If my neighbour hadn't heard me scream…" She trailed off and shivered. Then she looked back at me. "We just don't want that to be you."

I nodded slowly. "I get it… kind of."

Rosalie laughed and rolled her eyes. "Just be careful. Always look before you leap, 'kay?"

I smiled at her. "I'll try to remember that."

"Now… photo shoot?"

I glanced at the time on my phone. An hour had passed since Edward should have been here. I felt my heart sink. "Okay," I gave in. "But… Edward will come."

Rosalie didn't respond.

**~VTN~**

"And that should be enough, Miss Swan," the photographer told me after snapping yet another picture of me in a halter-neck top and denim mini shorts.

I shot him a smile to be polite and then shivered before heading quickly to the changing room, eager to get back into my jeans and not-so-revealing blouse.

Once I was back in my ordinary clothes I rejoined Rosalie at the side of the room. "Heard anything?" I asked anxiously for the millionth time that day.

She shook her head. "Bella…"

I waved my hand, cutting her off; I didn't want her sympathy. Just then, my phone started ringing. I answered it eagerly, without looking at caller ID. "Edward?"

"Er, no," a sing-song voice replied with a laugh as Rose and I started to head out of the building. "Alice. Is your caller ID broken or something?"

I sighed. "No. I just… I haven't seen Edward. Or heard from him all day."

"Oh…" was all Alice said.

I noticed her off-tone instantly. "What, Al? What do you know?"

"Um… I went to the hospital today with Jasper for a baby check-up!" she exclaimed happily, changing the subject.

I didn't buy it. "Alice," I growled, "what do you know?"

She sighed. "I can't tell you anything. It's… it's not my secret to share. But… I've seen him. Bella, don't worry about him. He's okay. He's just got more pressing matters on his hands."

"He's at the hospital?" I squeaked, instantly fearing the worst.

"He's _fine_, Bella. It's not what you think."

"Well, what _is_ it then?" I pushed the double doors open and stepped outside.

Alice sighed exasperatedly. "Honestly, Bells, I can't tell you. Ask Edward about… just ask Edward, okay?"

"Ask Edward about wha…?" I stopped talking and moving when I saw the silver Volvo in the car park.

"Bella?" Alice's voice echoed through the phone.

I bit my lip, unsure of what to do. Then I sighed, knowing that he would have seen that I had seen him. "Can I call you back later, Al?"

"I guess so," she said, sounding confused.

"Bye."

"Bella, wait!" Alice stopped me.

"Yeah?"

"Don't do anything… rash."

I snorted. "I won't if he has a reasonable explanation."

"Bella…" Her tone was warning, but I hung up before she could say anything else.

I turned to Rosalie, who was still stood beside me. "I'll see you later, okay?"

She nodded slowly, her brow furrowed slightly. "Is everything okay?"

"It's great," I lied before heading for the shiny silver Volvo a few feet away. I pulled the door to the passenger seat open, prepared to demand to know where he had been all day. But as soon as I saw him, I couldn't. He looked so… different. His eyes were empty like they had been the night before and he just looked so… sad.

I stumbled over words for a moment, but then I whispered, "What happened?"

Edward looked up at me and met my eyes. He stared at me for a long moment and then he said, "Let's go back to the hotel. I'll tell you everything."

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Dun dun duuuun! :O I know I said that this chapter was where it got exciting but I was wrong :S I hadn't bargained on Rose's bit so now next chapter's the exciting one ;) As if you couldn't already tell ;) Well… it's certainly faster paced :L Yes, I already have half of it written ;)**

**Now, 3 friends and I are starting up a fic rec site where we post recommendations for Twilight fics that could do with a bit more loving- but are really brilliant stories and not just chapter after chapter of hardcore sex as so many fics seem to be. So if you're looking for a new fic or just fancy checking it out, the first recs go up on Wednesday :) Link on profile :)**

**Also, 'moonlight studio' is hosting a one-shot contest and she needs more entries. I know that there are a lot of people out there that like to enter these contests but don't hear about them. So if you're interested, that link's also on my profile :)**

*****ECLIPSE SPOILERS*****

**OMC GUYSSSSS. Bestest movie EVER perhaps? :O I've already seen it twice (within 24 hours lol) and it's just… argh. Amazing. Rob finally, finally persuaded me to join his legions of fans in Eclipse- I mean, he ACTED! Like for reals! :L I'm not gonna go on for ages because I'm really starting to repeat myself, but I think my favourite bits are the proposal (I love it when she like jumps at him aw :D), the sex-talk (that's a lol a second :L) and the bit when Jasper's teaching them how to fight. Jackson's awesome in this one too- his **_**accent**_**! There wasn't enough Jalice in the others so that bit was really sweet :)**

**Okay, I'm done ranting about Eclipse :L**

**I'm gonna keep up the preview thing for as long as I can, I've decided. Just let me know if you don't want one otherwise you get a preview for a review ;) For the last chapter I think we got 59 reviews, which was AWESOME! Can we beat that this time? :D**

**Please review! :)**

**Thanks**

**-Steph**


	27. Chapter 26: Burning Evidence

**Previously…**

_I turned to Rosalie, who was still stood beside me. "I'll see you later, okay?"_

_She nodded slowly, her brow furrowed slightly. "Is everything okay?"_

"_It's great," I lied before heading for the shiny silver Volvo a few feet away. I pulled the door to the passenger seat open, prepared to demand to know where he had been all day. But as soon as I saw him, I couldn't. He looked so… different. His eyes were empty like they had been the night before and he just looked so… sad._

_I stumbled over words for a moment, but then I whispered, "What happened?"_

_Edward looked up at me and met my eyes. He stared at me for a long moment and then he said, "Let's go back to the hotel. I'll tell you everything."_

**~VTN~**

_I really need you tonight_

_Forever's gonna start tonight_

_Once upon a time I was falling in love_

_Now I'm only falling apart_

_There's nothing I can do; total eclipse of the heart_

_Once upon a time there was light in my life_

_Now there's only love in the dark_

_Nothing I can say; total eclipse of the heart_

_**-Total Eclipse of the Heart, Bonnie Tyler/ Glee Cast **_**(A/N: very appropriate for this chapter, actually.)**

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 26 – Burning Evidence**

**Bella POV**

The drive back to the hotel was silent. I didn't ask anything and he didn't offer anything in return. I wondered, though. I wondered what had happened to make Edward seem so… distant. He had always seemed distant, but he had been almost within touching distance. Now he was… impossibly far away.

I remembered what Rose had told me earlier, and I couldn't help but wonder if Edward was anything like Royce. My heart came back with a resounding no, but my head… my head told me to be careful. As we pulled into the hotel car park, I gingerly ran my finger along my hipbone where my tattoo was; a constant reminder to follow my heart. Surely it couldn't be wrong?

The silence continued as we got out of the car and headed up to my suite. Edward watched with sad eyes as I unlocked the door and led the way inside, throwing the keys into the key dish as we passed.

"Want a drink?" I offered, breaking the silence.

"I'll make them," he muttered, pushing me gently down onto the sofa and going to the kitchen area.

I shifted in my chair and turned round to watch him as he wandered around, searching for the coffee jar. I snickered into the back of my hand and went over to get it out for him.

"Thanks," he said when I handed it to him. Then he pointed at the sofa. "Sit," he commanded, like I was a little dog.

I rolled my eyes, but did as he said, grabbing up the magazine Jacob had left behind yesterday to read as I waited for him to finish. I flicked past my bits since they made me uncomfortable, and read about which fashions were going to be 'in' this coming month. I made a mental note to ask Alice how accurate they were at school the next day. I only had four more days left before I had a week off to prep for the concerts. I'd take my finals a little later than most people as a result of my heap of concerts, but that was okay.

I stared blankly at the magazine, wondering what to do once I had done my finals. It was true that I didn't need to go to college, but I didn't want to be the media's puppet for the rest of my life. In fact, I wasn't sure that I even wanted to do that for much longer anyway. I wasn't sure what I _did_ want to do, but the whole being famous thing was getting pretty old. I loved singing and dancing, but it wasn't worth some of the rubbish I got because of it.

"Here." Edward's voice brought me out of my reverie as he handed me a mug.

"Thanks," I said, taking it off of him, but he wouldn't let it go. "Edward?"

He bit his lip and then closed his eyes and, with a sigh, let the mug go.

I looked at him warily. "What's wrong, Edward? What's going on?"

He sat in the chair across from me and pinched the bridge of his nose, pushing his own coffee on to the table. "I don't know how I can tell you… everything."

I didn't know what to say to that. "Well… um… maybe you can tell me where you were today? Since you definitely weren't with me."

His lips twitched, but the quick smile disappeared faster than I could blink. "At the hospital."

At least it was an honest answer. "Why?"

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He seemed to be thinking things through too much.

"Alice said that you were dying of some kind of rare foreign disease," I tested him.

Edward just nodded warily. I raised an eyebrow. A second later he blinked at me. "Wait. What?"

I rolled my eyes and crossed the room, coffee in hand, to sit beside him. I took his hand in mine and said, "Edward, just tell me. I don't care what it is; I'll be there for you no matter what."

"It's not anything like what you're expecting," he warned quietly.

"Try me," I insisted.

He sighed.

I waited. After a moment passed, I sighed too. Then, I withdrew my hand from his and cupped my mug in both hands, lifting it to my mouth.

Edward watched me with careful eyes. But then, just as I was about to take a sip, he squeezed his eyes shut and his hand shot out and pushed the mug away from me. Hot coffee spilt over my lap as the mug flew through the air and smashed by my feet.

I jumped up and glared at him. "What the fuck, Edward?"

He got up too, and took my shoulders between his hands. "I can't lose you," he breathed, but before I could respond he had ducked his head and was pressing his lips urgently to mine, kissing the hell out of me.

"What?" I whispered breathlessly against his mouth when he stopped kissing me, confused as hell.

And then he said it. "I love you." His hands trailed down my sides, grabbed at my waist and pulled me closer, so close that I could have sworn that there was no air between our bodies. "Fucking _hell_, Bella, I love you." And he captured my lips again.

All of the questions that I had had moments earlier and all of the answers that I had wanted were forgotten, as was the scalding hot coffee on my leg and the broken china underfoot. All I could think about was the way those words had sounded coming from his mouth. I had lost count of the number of times I had said them to him, but I could never forget that I hadn't yet heard them from him. Until that moment.

I pressed myself closer to him and kissed him with all that I had. "Say it again," I ordered against his lips.

"I love you." He dropped another kiss across my lips.

My heart jumped into my mouth and a huge smile lit up my face. "Mmm, I love you too."

"I love you more." And another one.

"I doubt that."

And then, he bent down and lifted my legs so that he was carrying me bridal style through to the bedroom. He dropped me on the bed and then climbed on to so that he was hovering above me. He smiled down at me. "I don't doubt it one bit." And then he bent his head and started kissing up and down my neck, making me forget my argument.

I groaned and arched my back, knotting my fingers in his hair. "Edward…"

"Bella." He bit down gently on my skin, hard enough to send shots of lust and pleasure through my veins but not hard enough to leave a mark.

I trembled under his touch. "Please," I whispered, though I wasn't entirely sure what I was asking for him to do.

He lifted his head and stared at me for a long moment.

When my head cleared a little, the blood rushed to my cheeks and I ducked my head. "Please?" I whispered again.

Edward sighed and pushed himself back off of me. "That's not a good idea, Bel-"

"Wait!" I stopped him, grabbing his hand and pulling him back to me. Then, I reached for the top of my blouse and started undoing the buttons. He watched as I pushed it off and then reached for my jeans.

"Bella, stop trying to take your clothes off," he said, reaching out to stop me.

I pushed his hand away. "I'm showing you something," I told him. I kicked off my jeans so that I was just sat there in my underwear. Then I hesitantly turned round so that my left side was facing him and pushed the elastic of my underwear down a little, revealing my tattoo.

I heard the small, quick gasp escape his lips, but I didn't respond. After a moment, he reached out and stroked along the ink with the pad of his right thumb. "You got a tattoo," he stated.

I looked over my shoulder at him. "It's… um… a reminder. That your heart is always right."

Edward shook his head slowly. "Not always."

I supposed that I couldn't dispute that after what Rosalie had said that morning, so I said, "Usually."

"Usually," Edward agreed. And then he did something that I had hoped for, but hadn't been expecting. He kissed me, and let me push his jeans off with my feet.

"I love you," he reminded me as he pulled his top over his head.

I beamed at his words and let my eyes wander over his abs until he came and hovered over me again.

"Are you sure about this?"

"I'm sure about you," I whispered.

He frowned slightly. "I know, but… are you sure about… _this_?"

I rolled my eyes. "Edward. It's the twenty-first century. Hell, the hotel leaves me free condoms; it's practically encouraged."

He laughed. "Just checking."

"Are _you_ sure?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

He grinned and kissed me. When he pulled away he murmured, "Fancy telling me where I can find those condoms?"

**~VTN~**

I yawned and snuggled closer into Edward's side a few hours later, intertwining my legs with his. I pressed a kiss to the top of his bare shoulder and sighed contentedly. I knew that there were a ton of questions that I needed to ask him but for now they could wait. I didn't want to interrupt such a perfect moment. It was perhaps the most perfect of my life so far. I would have been lying if I said that I wasn't hoping for many more of those moments to come in the future. Because, in that instant, I felt completely and wholly loved. I felt complete; the piece that had been missing from my life had been recovered and slotted nicely into place.

I looked up at Edward's face to see him staring at the ceiling. I tried to read his expression, but it was impossible.

"What are you thinking?" I whispered.

His eyes drifted down to me. "About how stupid I am."

My happy bubble burst with a pop. I scowled. "Don't."

He mirrored my scowl. "Don't what, Bella?"

"Don't ruin this." I gestured between the two of us. I sighed and lowered my voice to a whisper. "Why does this always happen? Why do you have to be so negative after something so… so… _amazing_?"

Edward ran his hand through his hair, his tattoo seeming to wriggle as his biceps flexed. "There's a very fine line, Bella. A fine line between complicated as hell and fucking insanely incomprehensible. When you're on the complicated as hell side, it's okay, it's not so bad. Well, okay, it _is;_ it's awful. But you can survive, keep at it and so on. But then, three words later you've crossed that line onto the fucking insanely incomprehensible side."

I didn't respond. Even though I didn't really understand what he was talking about, I could take a pretty good guess at which three words he meant.

"So now I'm more than a little screwed." He sighed. "Bella, have you ever tried to choose between two things that you loved?" He didn't give me a chance to answer. "And you pick one of them… but you know that it's the wrong choice. But then you pick the other one… and it… it's almost worse." His eyes darted from side to side as he thought. "I just don't know what to do."

I sat up, not wanting to engage in another round of 'Edward's vague and pointless explanations confuse the heck out of Bella' and slipped out of bed. "I'm going for a shower," I announced. "While you think I mean."

Edward didn't look at me, but he nodded.

In the shower, I stretched out my aching body, breathing in the scent of Edward and sex that lingered on my skin before washing it away. I stood there for ages, just remembering the perfection of the last few hours and praying that Edward hadn't completely outlawed that kind of thing ever again with his angst-driven worries.

Eventually, I shut off the water and towel-dried my hair and my body before wandering back through to the bedroom in just the towel, only to find my bed empty. I frowned and threw on a tank top and a pair of boy shorts before venturing out into my suite to find Edward. But he wasn't anywhere.

I sank onto the sofa with a sigh and dialled his number. I waited through the dial tone until I got an answer phone message that was as impersonal as you could get. I tried calling again but just got more of the same.

So I cleaned up the broken china that was still on the floor and then headed to bed; I wasn't hungry then, and it was eleven pm.

Once I was in bed, I buried my face in my pillow and inhaled deeply, smelling Edward's smell and smiling at the fresh memories that hit me like a battering ram. He was so perfect. Just as I was on the brink of sleep, though, another memory came to me; one from a different day altogether. I heard Edward's voice inside my head again as I remembered him saying, _I don't want to jump you – or vice versa – the first chance we get. If it's special… we'll wait. Sex shouldn't be about getting some. It should be about love._

I rolled back on to my back, wondering what that meant. And, moreover, what it meant that he had disappeared right away afterwards. I wondered if that had been his way of distracting me so that I wouldn't get a chance to ask him the questions he knew were coming. No. If he was going to distract me like that then why hadn't he on our date day when he had told me about his family? I had given him the perfect opportunity then and he had said about sex being about love. Besides, he had asked me a heap of times if I was sure. I could have stopped at any point.

No. He hadn't been using it as a distraction, I was sure.

I thought back to before, trying to pinpoint the reason behind his sudden declaration. The only thing I could remember was him smashing my mug. But what did that have to do with anything?

My mind must have been working in full force right then, though, because I remembered two things in the exact same moment. The first thing was what Edward had said after destroying my coffee: _I can't lose you._

The second was something he had said also on our date day: _What would you say if… if I told you that there was someone out there that wanted you dead? And someone that had to… kill you? _And… when I had asked if it was a metaphor, he had said _not exactly_.

I sat bolt upright, suddenly feeling very, very sick. Had he _put something_ in my coffee? I got out of bed and ran back through to the kitchen, pulling the bin out from under the sink and then sifting through it for the bits of broken mug. But when I took them out, they just looked like bits of a broken mug.

I laughed at myself for being paranoid and slid to the floor, leaning back against the cupboard and shaking my head. I dropped the broken china back in the bin but, being the klutz I am, caught the edge with my hand, knocking the bin over.

"Shit," I cussed as the contents spilled over the floor. I sighed and started to pick up the wrappers and chuck them back in the metal bin, but hesitated when I came to a thick white envelope. I frowned and turned it over in my hand. There was a message on the front. It read:

_Edward,_

_This is it. I trust that you can do this- you know what's right and wrong. And, okay, maybe this is a wrong but it's the lesser of two evils, trust me. Don't deny someone the chance to live._

That was it. There was no other name, no nothing. With a furrowed brow, I lifted the end and tipped out the contents. There were eight boxes with a load of Latin writing on them. I turned one box over and over in my hands, looking for some form of English but finding nothing. But then, one sentence caught my eye: _WARNING: take ONE dose every 24 hours. Overdoses WILL kill._

The nausea instantly returned. One by one I opened all of the boxes, only to find most of them empty. All but one. I got to my feet and leant on my arms, ducking my head and waiting for the dizziness to go. It didn't. I retched into the sink, but there was nothing in my stomach to bring back.

By the time my head was clear enough for me to think, tears were streaming down my face and my head was throbbing painfully. I gathered up the boxes and tossed them into the sink before digging around in the cupboard under the sink for the packet of matches. I lit one and threw that in as well, watching miserably as the evidence burned.

I didn't know what this meant, but even if Edward had tried to… I couldn't even think it. Even if Edward had done what I suspected, I still loved him too much to let him leave evidence lying around.

That was so disgustingly twisted.

As I watched the orange flames flicker and lick along the cardboard, I realised that I finally understood what Edward had been going on about earlier. Because I had just crossed the line myself. He had always been confusing as hell, ever since I had met him. But now… now he was fucking insanely incomprehensible, just like he had said.

And my head laughed at my heart, taunted it for being wrong the whole time.

As fresh tears decorated my cheeks, I glanced up out of the window and the orange glow of the flames were reflected back at me from a shiny car. A shiny _silver_ car. A shiny silver _Volvo_.

Suddenly, I heard my phone buzz in my bedroom. I ran through to get it, unsure how to react when I saw _Edward_ flash across the screen. After a split-second's deliberation, I answered, "Hello?" Even I could hear the uncertainty in my voice.

"Bella, are you okay?" he asked.

That confused me. "Erm… I'm okay. Why?"

"Your house is… um… well, it looks like it's on fire. I'm pretty sure it's your window."

I sighed. "I'm fine. That's just… stuff." I hesitated and then asked in a small voice, "Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you sat outside my apartment in your car?"

He was silent.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Why…?" I swallowed back the lump in my throat so that I could speak. "What did you put in my coffee?"

He was silent again. His silent confirmation made my heart snap in two, and it hurt so badly. I squirmed closer toward the centre of my bed so that I could lie back on my pillow. My breaths ripped in and out of my chest so fast that it was a surprise that my cells were getting any oxygen at all. But, then again, maybe that was why my head was spinning so much.

"Edward?"

"Yes?" He was more reluctant this time.

I let the tears flow freely now. "Do you love me?"

He sighed. "Yes."

I smiled through my tears, huddling in a ball as I shook. "Edward?"

"What?"

"I'm so scared," I whispered.

I heard him hesitate. But then he asked quietly, "Of me?"

I was silent this time.

"I'm so… _sorry_," was all he said. There was a long pause. But then, "Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Do _you_ love _me_?"

"Yes." My voice broke.

"Why?" He sounded almost disappointed.

I sniffed. "I… I… can't stop." I whimpered into my pillow, wrapping one arm around my torso. "It hurts so badly."

He was silent for a very long time then, as I continued to cry to myself. After a while, I whispered, "Edward?"

There was no reply. I glanced at the screen to see that he had hung up seven minutes ago. Then I burst into a fresh flood of tears.

Not a moment later, though, there came a knock at the door. I knew that he could pick the lock if he wanted to. Hell, he had a fucking key! But this was his way of letting me choose whether I wanted him in my life or not.

I whimpered, but got out of bed and padded along the corridor all the same. I hesitated, but then unlocked the door and opened it, falling into his arms. Edward gently pushed me inside and shut the door behind us, but then he just held me and let me sob into his shoulder, stroking my hair and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over.

The ironic thing was that his arms had never felt so safe.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**And, in the words of Shakespeare… thy shit hath hitteth thy fan… or something like that :L**

**So… was that what you were expecting? Or completely different? Tell me your thoughts please :) I personally had a ball writing this chapter but didn't like it so much when I read it back so we'll see…**

**Oh and sorry about the whole 'fade to black' thing but… this is rated 'T' and I promised some people no racy stuff and I don't want to make this story just about sex anyway. Although hopefully you got that they did do it and it is key to the plot, as is Edward's 'I love you' :)**

**I'm also sorry about the third cliffie in a row… I don't think that this one's as bad as the others but still… Edward has a little explaining to do, don't cha think? :L**

**Um… keeping this short because I just got in from visiting relatives and it's pretty late but I said I'd update if I had time on facebook so… here I am :)**

**I really, really hope that you liked the chapter and, again preview for review ;)**

**Please review!**

**Thanks**

**-Steph**

**UPDATE: So since I posted this last night, some questions have come up and I'm going to answer them here so I don't keep repeating myself: First, when Bella says she's in pain, she has NOT actually been physically hurt by Edward, but she did just find out that the guy she loves tried to kill her soo... a little heartache maybe ;)**

**Second, I think I can PROMISE no more babies :L There's Cody and there's Alice's so throwing another into the mix is not gonna happen. Sorry if you're disappointed- but that is why I threw the condom talk in there for emphasis ;)**

**And finally, a lot of people are disappointed that Edward didn't tell Bella about Cody- it's coming, I promise. Let's just say the next chapter's a little more talky than this one ;)**


	28. Chapter 27: Completely Vulnerable

**URGENT A/N: I don't know what the hell is up with this website becase I one hundred percent most definitely posted this last night - hell, I even have reviews for this chapter! So, sorry if you've already read this and sorry if you got an alert but didn't read the chapter :S**

**Previously…**

_He was silent for a very long time then, as I continued to cry to myself. After a while, I whispered, "Edward?"_

_There was no reply. I glanced at the screen to see that he had hung up seven minutes ago. Then I burst into a fresh flood of tears._

_Not a moment later, though, there came a knock at the door. I knew that he could pick the lock if he wanted to. Hell, he had a fucking key! But this was his way of letting me choose whether I wanted him in my life or not._

_I whimpered, but got out of bed and padded along the corridor all the same. I hesitated, but then unlocked the door and opened it, falling into his arms. Edward gently pushed me inside and shut the door behind us, but then he just held me and let me sob into his shoulder, stroking my hair and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over._

_The ironic thing was that his arms had never felt so safe._

**~VTN~**

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn_

_But that's alright because I like the way it hurts_

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry_

_But that's alright because I love the way you lie_

_I love the way you lie_

_**-Love The Way You Lie, Eminem ft Rihanna **_**(A/N: I'm really not a rappy kind of person but I like the chorus to this song and it fits the chapter sooo… yeah :L)**

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 27 – Completely Vulnerable**

**Edward POV**

I held Bella until her tears ran out and she was just crying tearlessly into my chest, gripping me so tight that I worried that she was going to cut off my bloodstream. I wrapped my arms around her, stroking her hair and whispering in her ear. I wondered what was going to happen now. Now that she knew. I wondered why she had let me in. Why she was letting me hold her and whisper apologies.

"Come on," I whispered into her hair, trying to let her go so that we could move.

She just clutched me tighter.

So I gently bent down and picked her up. She held on tight and then said, "What are you going to do to me?"

Her words broke my heart in two. She was scared of me. I should have been thankful that the message I had tried to break to her so many times had finally gotten through. But I wasn't. It just made me love her more. "Nothing," I replied hoarsely, and it was the truth; I doubted I could do anything to her now even if I wanted to.

I had tried. I had nearly done it. I had done as Aro had advised; put seven of them in the coffee and left the other to go in the cupboard so that it looked like she had done it herself. I had even _given _her the fucking coffee! But when she had lifted it to her mouth, it had dawned on me what was about to happen. She would take one sip and that would be it. She'd never come back. I'd never see her smile or blush or laugh ever again. I'd never feel her lips move fluidly against mine, or her body squirm under mine as I tickled her, or run her hair through my fingers ever again.

And I couldn't let that happen. So I had pushed it away from her and fucking kissed her for all she was worth. I hadn't been expecting to go on and make love to her but when she fucking looked at me like that… and the relief that she was alive had knocked down the barriers I had carefully built up. Plus, at that stage, there was nothing more I wanted to do than claim her as mine. And I could hardly marry her on the spot so there was nothing else I could do.

It wasn't until afterwards, when she was in the shower, that I realised what had just happened. I had told her that I loved her; I had led her into that false sense of security. Even if I bloody couldn't kill her if I tried, it was still a false sense of security; there was no doubt about _that_.

So what had I done?

I had gone and disposed of the evidence and then gone and prattled on to Cody for a few hours, telling him what an idiot he had for a father, and how I had let him down. How I could have had the money by then to make him completely better but I hadn't had the guts to go through with it. He had lain there, listening, unmoving and uncritical. I deserved a complete eating out, but all he had been able to do was lie there and listen.

So now I was right back to where I had started. No, that was a lie. I had started on the complicated as hell side of the line. And now I had crossed onto the fucking insanely incomprehensible side. That bloody invisible line had been floating about on the periphery of everything for a while, and now everything had come crashing down and that bloody line had cut through everything like a knife through butter.

"I'm not going to do anything to you," I repeated in a whisper, before carrying Bella back through to her bedroom. I held her in one arm, like a baby, and pulled the sheets back before carefully climbing in and holding her close to my chest.

She was close to sleep now, dangerously close. Teetering right on the edge of unconsciousness and her words were almost incomprehensible when she whispered them. Almost, but not quite. "I wish I had never met you."

I swallowed back the lump in my throat but I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. I nodded in agreement though she was long gone now. "I know," I croaked. "I wish you had never met me too."

I lay there while she slept in my arms, wondering where we would go from here. Suddenly, my phone started vibrating in my pocket. I sighed and gently dislodged Bella from my grasp before leaving the room and answering the phone. "Hello?" My voice was wary.

"Edward." It was Aro. "How'd it go?"

I hesitated. "I couldn't do it."

"What?" He sounded disappointed – but not surprised.

"I did it. I put the pills in, like you said, but…" I raked my hand through my hair. "I can't do it. I couldn't let her… I had to… spill it."

"You love her." Aro's voice was certain.

And what use was denying it anymore? "Yes."

"What's the other thing?"

"What other thing?" I shut my eyes, praying that he wouldn't try too hard to get it out of me. To get me to tell him that Bella knew what I was doing.

"Edward." He laughed slightly. "You're too much like your father for your own good. I could tell when he was hiding something and I can tell when you hide something too."

I felt my mouth fall open. "You knew my father? What…? How…?" Questions came quicker than I could word them.

Aro laughed again. His laughter trailed off into coughing; probably because of the smoking he did. My father had always called it disgusting. _Yeah, well, no more disgusting than murdering your own wife, Dad_. "Edward," Aro said again, "I knew your father better than you did."

"But… how did you know him?" I questioned, baffled. Surely if Aro and Dad had been such great friends then I would have seen him around?

Aro sighed. "I can't… Edward, I can't tell you until you have nothing more to do with your uncle. He's a bad piece of work."

"What the fuck?" I almost-shouted. I had to work to keep my voice down, remembering that Bella was asleep in the next room. "You fucking work for him!"

"So do you. It doesn't make you a bad person does it?"

"Yes it does!" I hissed. "Doing that kind of work for anyone makes you the lowest of the low, the shittiest of the shit!"

"So you think you're a bad person?"

"Fucking hell, of course I do," I admitted. "Anyone who can kill a person is a soulless disgusting… ugh."

"But you can't kill her," Aro pointed out.

"Not killing her will only kill Cody," I returned. "Whatever I do, whichever way I turn, someone gets hurt."

"That happens when you work for James." He sounded upset.

"Well if you don't like it, then why don't you fucking walk away?" I demanded; he was there by choice. I was sure that if he wanted to walk away, James would let him. He wasn't much good for anything now that he was so old.

"Look, you don't work for James through choice. Have you ever considered the fact that maybe I don't either? Edward, I'm with James because I'm fulfilling a promise. I don't break promises, especially not to my best friend."

I laughed once. "What kind of friend would make you promise to do that kind of shit for a shithead like James?"

Aro took a deep breath before saying, "One who lost his son to said shithead because of lack of evidence. Look, Edward, I have to go. But I'll speak to you soon; I'll help you get rid of this Bella girl." Then he was gone.

I stared blankly at my phone. Had he been trying to say that _Carlisle_ had made him promise to work for James? No, that was impossible. Carlisle had barely spoken to James when he was alive; they didn't get on. Ever. But what did he mean by lack of evidence?

Suddenly, I heard a shriek from Bella's room. I pushed the door open hurriedly; worried that someone had broken in through her en-suite bathroom window. But of course she was having a nightmare. After what she had just been through, who wouldn't?

I went to her side, ready to shake her awake, but just then she shrieked, "No! Edward, get away from me!"

I froze. She was dreaming about me.

"No," she whispered, "don't… don't kill her… me…"

I watched sadly as she thrashed about on the bed, and wondered if I'd ever gain her trust again.

**Bella POV**

_It was dark. Horribly, horribly dark. A pale hand stretched out in front of my vision and pushed open a door that I hadn't seen. Then as the angle that I was watching from spun, I watched as the man approached a bed, a huge blood-covered knife in his left hand._

_The man was familiar but unrecognisable, partly masked by the darkness. His face was twisted and he looked evil. I felt my heart start to race with panic._

_He got to the bed then and pulled back the sheets, revealing a sleeping girl._

_I waved frantically at the girl, yelling and screaming for her to wake up, though what use that would do I didn't know. But the man didn't turn and the girl didn't wake. He lifted the knife above her chest, and time slowed down as I realised that I was trapped and unable to reach them. At the same time as I realised that she wasn't just a girl… she was me._

_And just as the man's arm whipped down, the angle spun again and I was inside of the other me in the dream; the one about to be killed. My eyes snapped open and caught a glimpse of a pair of beautiful emerald green orbs, but then I realised what was happening and I watched my death approach without even attempting to prevent it._

I jolted awake, gasping and panicked.

"Hey," a smooth velvet voice murmured beside me, "it's okay." His arm snaked around my waist and pulled me flush against his still-fully-clothed body.

I whimpered into Edward's chest, shaking all over. It was the same dream as the one that had been plaguing me for weeks… only this time the killer was different.

"Bella?" Edward whispered, sensing me freeze in his arms. "What's wrong?"

I pushed myself away from him and looked into his eyes. The exact same shade of green. The killer. I immediately looked away. It was dark, and I presumed the middle of the night since there were no tell-tale signs of a breaking dawn coming through the crack in the curtains.

Edward was silent as I sat there. And, as I sat there, everything slowly came back to me. The coffee, the 'I love you', the sex, the burning, the phone call… and then crying myself to sleep in his arms. Leaving myself completely vulnerable.

And he had the nerve to ask me what was wrong?

I pushed his arms away from me and curled into a ball, suddenly very, very scared that Edward was going to whip out a knife and stick it through my chest, just like he had done in the dream that I had just had.

"Bella…" His voice was laced with pain, and guilt.

"Just…" I sighed. Everything hurt. My head was still spinning, my heart was still aching and my entire frame was still shaking.

"Tell me what's wrong. Please," he begged. He didn't move closer, but I could tell that he wanted to.

I lifted my eyes above my knees to meet his gaze. His eyes smouldered at me through the darkness, expressing things that no words could say: love, regret, pain… self-hatred. I bit my lip and whispered, "What do you _think_ is wrong, Edward?"

He was silent for another long moment, leaving the careful distance I had put between us. But then he shuffled forward slightly, and took my hand, prying it away from where it was wrapped around my knees. "Bella," he whispered while shaking his head, "I _told_ you not to trust me."

I pulled my hand back. "Jesus! You shouldn't 'trust someone' because they're well known for cheating, or because they have another family in another state, or because they're addicted to some kind of illegal something!" I couldn't meet his eyes as mine welled up again. "Not because they…" I bit my lip, unable to finish; we both knew what he had been doing. "That's completely beyond not trusting someone, Edward."

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily. "I'm not… it's not… _like that_. I…"

I interrupted him. "And when you fall in love with someone, you do trust them. I can't help it, Edward."

"But…" He stopped, picking up on what I'd said. He moved closer still, so that he was very in my face. "You _can't_ help it? Not you _couldn't_ help it?" He suddenly looked exasperated. "You mean you _still_ trust me?"

I couldn't lie; not to him. Not even when I knew that telling the truth would make him angry. I took a deep breath, and then nodded. I still trusted him with my life. And now I saw how ironic that was.

"You're so… ugh! Why do you have to make everything so difficult?"

I stared at him. "_I_ make things difficult?"

"Your instincts are completely backwards. You shouldn't have picked up the phone when I called. You shouldn't have opened the door when I knocked. You shouldn't still love me. And you _definitely_ shouldn't still trust me." He raked his fingers through his wonderful hair again, and then looked up at my face. "You make it so difficult to walk away."

"No!" I gasped, my hands automatically flying out to grab his shoulders. I lost my balance and accidentally pushed him over, falling on top of him on the bed. I didn't bother moving. "Don't… God, please don't go anywhere. I can't… you can't…" I shook my head, unable to word my feelings.

Edward sighed and lifted his eyes to the ceiling.

I took a deep breath and whispered, "I'd rather die than stay away from you."

That caught his attention. His eyes whipped back to me. "You don't know what you're saying," he growled.

"Yes," I insisted, "I do." I reached over and pressed my hand over his chest, feeling his heart beat against my palm. "And you do too."

"No I don't. I'm not scared of you."

"And I'm not scared of you," I lied.

Edward sat up and looked down at me. "What did you dream about?"

I blinked. "What?"

"What did you dream about?"

My mouth opened and shut a few times before I said, "How is that relevant?"

"You said my name," he told me icily, looking away again. "You said that I was…" His fists clenched. "You were trying to stop me from killing you, Bella. That seems fucking terrified to me."

I swallowed, hating myself for talking in my sleep for a split-second. Then I pulled myself together again. "You wouldn't do that," I said, trying to sound sure.

Edward smirked sarcastically. "Wouldn't I?" He reached into his back pocket and drew out something I couldn't see in the dim light.

I reached over and flicked on my bedside lamp and then watched as Edward pressed something and the object in his palm became a shiny, sharp blade. I gasped quietly.

"Yeah." Edward's eyes were dark. "That day when you came back here and I was waiting in your bedroom?"

I nodded, panic and bile rising in my throat.

"You have no idea how close you came to meeting this knife."

I shivered and a breath whooshed out of my mouth as my eyes stung. I shook my head. "Why are you telling me this?" I croaked.

He shrugged. "You wanted answers."

I buried my head in my hands, trying to control my breathing so that I wasn't hyperventilating. "Go away," I whispered after a moment.

"What?"

"Just go away!" I yelled, snapping my head up to look at him. "Please. I can't take this."

Edward nodded, finally seeming satisfied. "That's the reaction you should have had ages ago." And then he dropped the knife on the bed and left my bedroom, pulling the door shut behind him.

I sat there, shivering and convulsing, for a moment. I didn't hear him leave the suite and, for some insane reason, I was glad. I still wanted him with me.

Hesitantly, I reached out and took the knife in my hand. It was heavy and it felt red-hot in my grasp. Powerful, even. I cringed away from it and dropped it into one of my top drawers, hiding it. Then, I turned over and shut my eyes, begging sleep to take me so that I wouldn't have to lie awake and panic anymore.

**~VTN~**

I awoke the next morning to see sun seeping in through the gap in the curtains. It was late morning and it was nice to have a lie in for once; I didn't have school until the afternoon.

I lay there for a long moment, just thinking about what I had to do today. But an uneasy feeling hovered over me like a little black cloud that refused to leave. I frowned and wondered why I felt so nervous and edgy. And then I remembered. Edward, the dream, the coffee… I sighed and sat up before pulling my drawer open just to check that it hadn't all been a horrible dream. It hadn't; the knife still sat there, the sharp creases in the metal grinning sadistically at me. I shivered and slammed the drawer shut again.

Then I sighed and pushed my hand through my hair. Why did I feel bad about telling Edward to leave me alone? Why did I regret it? I wondered where he had gone. And then I remembered that I hadn't heard him leave. So I pushed my duvet aside and slid out of bed, pulling my tank top down where it had ridden up. Then I ventured outside of the bedroom.

Edward was sat up on the sofa, watching me as I came out. I was surprised; for the first time in all of the time that I had known him, he hadn't run away.

"Hi," he said, his eyes gauging my reaction to finding him there.

"Hi," I replied. My voice sounded tired and wary. I cleared my throat and hovered in the doorway.

"I didn't think it was… in your best interests to leave you alone," he explained, answering the question I couldn't ask.

I nodded and then made my way over to the kitchen counter. I filled the kettle and flicked it on. "Coffee?" I offered casually, but I couldn't make myself meet his eyes.

He stood up and made to come over. "Sure I'll make it for you."

"No!" The panicked response had left me before I could stop it. I froze, my hand held too tightly around the handle.

Edward watched me for a moment and then groaned when he realised. "Sorry."

I pursed my lips and nodded, turning to make the two coffees myself. Once I had made them – it took a while with shaking hands – I turned and handed one to Edward. His thumb brushed mine as I passed it over and the buzz of electricity flared up at me. We both glanced up simultaneously, him still gauging my reaction. I blushed and went to sit on the sofa. He hesitantly came over and joined me. "So what now?" he asked.

I looked over at him. I stared at him for a long moment, thinking about things and wondering how to proceed. He was leaving it down to me, letting me decide whether I still wanted him with me or not. Call me stupid, but I just couldn't let him go. "So we…" I had been about to say 'forget last night' but it didn't seem the right thing to say. I cut myself off with a sigh.

Edward sighed as well, taking a gulp of his coffee.

"Why were you sat outside my hotel last night?" I asked after a moment's silence.

He turned and looked at me.

"I mean, I pay you enough to have a place of your own. And… Jacob said that he's seen you outside before too, so don't tell me that it was just last night. And… I know that you have an apartment Edward; I've seen it," I explained. "So… why?"

Edward circled the rim of his mug with his index finger. "It's… um… a long story."

I put my coffee down on the table and curled my legs up underneath me, turning to look at him stony-faced. "Edward," I said in my best no-nonsense tone. "I have no idea what the _fuck_ happened last night. All I know is that you tried to put something in my coffee and you carry a knife around in your back pocket. I don't have a clue why and I don't think that I really _want_ to know why. But I do want to know what on earth is going on in your life that makes you seem so miserable all the time. I've tried to get you to tell me so many times, but you always stop yourself just before you get anywhere. I'm not going to let you avoid it this time; it's the least you can do."

He stared at me for a long moment after my little speech. Then his coffee joined mine on the table. "If I asked you to come somewhere with me, would you?"

"Yes," I answered truthfully. "Why?"

He sank back into the sofa. "Then you better get changed. This is something I can really only show you."

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Hmm… so another cliffhanger? Well sorry but that's what happens when the shit hits the fan guys ;) Sorry :P**

**Can you guess what Edward's going to show Bella? I'm sure that most of you can ;) But quite a lot in this chapter, huh? Bella knows quite a lot now, and she's stolen Edward's knife ;) And you got some more info about Aro… quite a lot of info about Aro actually :L That was pretty generous :L Can any of you guess what the deal is there? ;)**

**Now… xXEternallyDazzledXx is running a one-shot contest and I agreed to pimp it ;) You have to write a one-shot based on a song (find the list of songs on her contest profile- link on my profile) and the closing day for entries is the 15th August – extended from 19th July. So, again, if you're a one-shotter then check that out. Also, Sian (xXEternallyDazzledXx) is writing a fic that is just amazing and I'm gonna be rec'ing it this Wednesday on the Twific Tidbit site that I think I've told you about! Please check the site out and let us know your thoughts! :)**

**Also if you're hosting an O/S contest ever, then please feel free to send me a PM and I'll post links to all contests on my profile for you guys :D So if you want to enter one then check out my profile too :)**

**I think that's everything :)**

**Oh, regarding previews – if you haven't been getting a preview then check that you can receive PMs. You can do this by signing in and making sure that 'Personal Messaging (PM)' is on 'enable' :) If that's not enabled then I can't send you a preview :S Oh, and make sure that you're logged in ;)**

**That really is everything :) Oh, I'm getting a Blackberry phone in the next few days if you care about that? :L Laura got one and I got jealous (because **_**my**_** 4YO phone is broken and **_**her **_**practically new one is absolutely fine *scowl*) so I persuaded my parents to let me get one too :D Woo hoo :D**

**Okay so… preview for review! :D**

**Thank you all!**

**-Steph**


	29. Chapter 28: A Chance to Explain

**Previously…**

_I put my coffee down on the table and curled my legs up underneath me, turning to look at him stony-faced. "Edward," I said in my best no-nonsense tone. "I have no idea what the fuck happened last night. All I know is that you tried to put something in my coffee and you carry a knife around in your back pocket. I don't have a clue why and I don't think that I really want to know why. But I do want to know what on earth is going on in your life that makes you seem so miserable all the time. I've tried to get you to tell me so many times, but you always stop yourself just before you get anywhere. I'm not going to let you avoid it this time; it's the least you can do."_

_He stared at me for a long moment after my little speech. Then his coffee joined mine on the table. "If I asked you to come somewhere with me, would you?"_

"_Yes," I answered truthfully. "Why?"_

_He sank back into the sofa. "Then you better get changed. This is something I can really only show you."_

**~VTN~**

_And this love, it's better; it may take me forever._

_But I, I just gotta let you know, oh_

_And this love, it's crazy; it's the one thing that can save me._

_And I, I'm just trying to take it slow, oh_

'_Cos I'm about to fall; you better look out below_

_**-Look Out Below (This Love), Holiday Parade**_

**Victim of a Teenage Nobody**

**Chapter 28 – A Chance to Explain**

**Bella POV**

I did as Edward said, getting changed and then following him out to his Volvo. The drive was silent, completely silent. I was unsurprised when we pulled into the hospital car park, though I had no idea why he was bringing me here.

Edward opened my door wordlessly, and I pulled my hair across my face and fixed my sunglasses into place before getting out and then following him through the squeaky-clean corridors. It smelt like bleach.

"Don't… don't jump to conclusions," Edward said quietly then, and his voice sounded so 'little boy lost' that I reached out and took his hand.

"I promise I'll at least give you a chance to explain," I murmured, squeezing his hand. I must've been mad. Almost my entire being was shying away from Edward, telling me not to do anything that he said. Almost. My heart still needed him like the rest of my body needed air to breathe.

I hadn't been paying any attention to the signs that directed us, and I regretted it when we went through double-doors to a small reception area, wishing that I could at least have some idea of what was ahead of us.

As soon as the doors shut behind us, a woman with auburn hair glanced up, and her hazel eyes lightened with recognition. She smiled. "Edward, I was hoping you'd come in today. He's…" But she trailed off when she saw me. "Oh."

Edward pursed his lips and glanced at me over his shoulder before turning back to the woman: Carla, her name-tag read. "Yeah… um… just dropping by. Can we go through?"

Carla looked straight at me though she directed her question at Edward. "She's with you?"

_Nah, I'm holding his hand because I accidentally super-glued myself to him… but carry on, don't mind me._

"Yes." Edward's voice was stony.

I adjusted my sunglasses and hid even further behind my hair, knowing that she had recognised me.

"Okay. Um… well… go ahead." She didn't seem to know what else to say.

"Thanks." Edward pulled me gently toward a side door.

"She was strange," I commented under my breath when she was out of earshot.

Edward laughed a little, but the sound was strained. "Bella, do you have no idea what just _seeing you_ does to people? She's a lovely woman; she was just a bit star-struck is all."

"You sound like you know her well." I tried, and failed miserably, to sound casual.

He chuckled again. "Jealous, love?"

I blushed.

Edward squeezed my hand. "Don't be. She doesn't compare to even half of you." He paused for a second and then said, "Actually, do be jealous. It's really quite adorable."

I nudged him with my elbow, but I was smiling. "Hey, you. You're walking on a fine line here; don't push it." I instantly regretted bringing that back up. How had we been joking around like that just after something so horrible?

Edward became serious then, whether that was because of my comment or because we had come to a door, I didn't know. He pursed his lips and I looked up at the notice on the door. It read _Cody Cullen_.

I looked at him, my brow furrowed with confusion. "Your nephew?"

He hesitated. "Yeah," he said slowly. "Kind of." And then he pushed the door open and gestured for me to go in ahead of him.

I took a deep breath, almost afraid of what I would see, and then went into the room. There was a little clear plastic incubator in the middle of the room, tons upon tons of wires running in and out. There was even a beeping machine wired up to the little body in the cot, though I had no idea what that was for. I felt my breath catch in my throat and I swallowed gingerly before moving forward another few steps until the baby came into view.

I gasped.

I gasped for many reasons. I gasped because this baby, so tiny, so cute, so… _perfect_, was so imperfect; he looked so tortured wrapped up in so many wires. I gasped because his little eyes opened ever so slightly and he looked right at me when it didn't look like he should be able to even lift his eyelids. But, mostly, I gasped because of his appearance. He had a small mop of dark browny-bronze-coloured hair atop of his round, but still structured face. His nose, chin and cheekbones were like a carbon copy taken from the man standing behind me.

And I knew. I knew that there was no way in hell that this child was Edward's nephew. No nephews looked so very much like their uncles… unless incest was involved. Which I sincerely hoped wasn't.

I tore my gaze away from the helpless little boy to Edward.

But Edward wasn't looking at me. He was staring at the baby, and I had never seen him look so heartbroken and agonised in all of the time that I had known him. If I had thought that I knew what pain was like before this… I had been so, so wrong. It hurt me to look at him.

"Edward," I whispered.

His eyes lifted to my face.

I didn't know what to say so it was silent for a long moment. Eventually I said, "Why didn't you just tell me?"

Edward linked his fingers together and then crossed the room, sitting in one of the horrible red plastic chairs by the incubator. "I don't want pity," he said simply, but quietly.

I shook my head and went to sit beside him. "I don't mean this-" I gestured to the wires and such before us "-I mean…" I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Edward, he's not your nephew."

He was silent.

After a while I peeked up at him. He was still staring at the baby, a wistful expression on his face.

"Edward?" I prodded gently.

"No. No, he's not."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I repeated as my brain exploded into a million questions.

He smiled slightly, and leant back in his chair. "Bella. What was I supposed to say when you found that photo? 'Oh, yeah, that's my baby son but chillax, it's no biggie'?"

I scowled at him. "No. All this time, Edward, you've been so… so… I don't even know what the word is, and this kid is the reason! You could have just… said something and… God. I thought that you had another family somewhere miles away. Not a… a baby with…" I stopped short. "What's wrong with him?"

Edward sighed and sat forward, leaning his elbows on his knees as he fed a hand through the hole in the cot and gently stroked along his son's wrist. He was so gentle, but not hesitant, and seeing him like that made my heartache. "He has Tetralogy of Fallot. It's a congenital heart disease. He has to have three operations to get better."

"How many has he had?"

"One," Edward answered flatly. "And that one nearly killed him." He ran a hand through his hair. "Shit, just yesterday he was…" He squeezed his eyes shut and then turned and looked directly into mine. "This is why my life is so messed up, Bella. I… I have baggage. Tons of it. Shitloads. And it's all crappy."

I nodded. I was quiet for a moment and then I asked the question that was at the forefront of my mind. "Where's his mother?"

Edward sighed. "She died in childbirth."

I tentatively rested my hand over the one that sat on his knee. "I'm sorry."

"I didn't really know her," he admitted. "Remember when I told you about the girl… the girl from Denver?"

"The one with the tattoo?"

He snorted. "Of all of the things you could remember… But, yes, her."

"So… what… who… how…?" There were so many questions in my head that I couldn't choose which one to ask. Eventually I asked quietly, "Does this… does _he_ have anything to do with… the knife?"

Edward sighed. "He has everything to do with it."

I felt relief surge through me. He hadn't even explained himself yet but, somehow, knowing that he had only carried a knife because he had to rather than because he wanted to already had be trusting him implicitly again. "How?"

He pursed his lips, twisting his jaw to the side. "Well… um… it's kind of messed up."

"It's okay. I'll listen before I do any running, I promise."

His lips twitched slightly at my feeble attempt at a joke. "Okay."

And then he told me. I have no idea how long we sat there and he told me things I had never expected to hear. I was entranced as he told me about the costs of Cody's operations, and his uncle, and how he hadn't intended to fall in love with me, but had.

When he had finished telling me, I sat in silence for a while, stunned.

"Say something," Edward begged me after the silence had gone on for what seemed like forever.

My shoulders were hunched over a little in fright. "I…" I didn't know what to say, but then I settled with whispering, "Why does your uncle…?"

Edward came and sat between my legs, taking my face in his hands. He looked into my eyes as he answered me. "I don't know, Bella, but I _promise_ I am going to find out. I promise."

I felt tears trickle down my cheeks. "But… I haven't done anything. He can't… I mean…" I bit my shaking lip. "I'm scared."

Edward's arms came round me and he gently lifted me so that he could sit on the seat I was on and shift me onto his lap. I hid my face in the crook between his shoulder and neck, and I cried. I cried because someone hated me so much that they didn't want me to be alive anymore. I cried for Edward and his crappy, messed up situation. And I cried because I had believed that Edward was the bad guy. Even though he had told me that he was, he had been wrong. So wrong. He was the good guy in this. He was the one who was trying to do the best he could for the baby he hadn't initially wanted. He was the one who hadn't been able to take my life even to save his son's. He was the one who had to live through this shit.

After a while I lifted my head and said, "When is his next operation?"

"A week on Saturday," Edward answered slowly, his brow furrowed slightly in confusion. "Why?"

"How much is it?"

Edward hesitated before saying, "Seventy thousand."

I shook my head. "Why didn't you just _tell _me? I'm rich, Edward. I have more money than I know what to do with. Let me pay. Please."

"But I can't just let you…"

"Is your pride worth more than his life?" I interrupted.

Edward sighed and rubbed his face with his hand.

"Look, I'll let you pay me back. I'll even charge you interest if you want me to… just please. I can't bear to see you suffer like this." I pressed my palm to his stubble-dotted cheek.

After a moment, he nodded against my hand. "Okay. But I want to pay you back. I'm his Dad; I should be able to pay for things like this."

Hearing him say that plucked on my heartstrings. I smiled slightly and bent my head forward to pepper his face with little kisses before kissing his lips.

"What was that for?" he asked, but he was smiling.

"You're a brilliant Dad, Edward," I told him softly. "If he knew what you're doing for him, he'd be completely in love with you. Just like I am."

His smile widened. "Thank you," he said simply.

I skived off of school that afternoon; called in sick. It wasn't like I'd be able to concentrate with these thoughts swirling around my head anyway. Edward drove me back to the hotel and walked me up to my suite. When we stepped inside and shut the door behind us, I turned to face him.

"Please don't leave me alone," I whispered desperately.

He pulled me into his arms, hugging me against his chest. "I'll be here until you order me away," he promised in my ear.

I beamed against him. "You'll be here for an awful long time then."

**Edward POV**

Telling Bella about Cody was like someone had taken a huge weight off of my shoulders. Though, I supposed, in a way, it _had_ taken a weight off of my shoulders; I didn't have to choose any more. I didn't have to pick one over the other.

Bella asked me not to leave her alone, which I completely understood. I had just told her that someone wanted her dead. She had dealt with it pretty well so far, but I guessed that a major breakdown was just around the corner.

So I stayed with her. We didn't do much. Bella decided against TV – she said it was too antisocial – so we worked our way through games of cards instead. She taught me the ones she knew and I taught her those that I did; she knew a lot more than I did. She told me that she and Emmett had played a lot with her Mum when they were younger. When she spoke of her mother, her tone grew wistful and her eyes were unfocused.

I knew how she felt.

We were halfway through a game of cleg when we were interrupted by a knock at the door. Bella's posture became rigid and her frightened eyes met mine. I knew that we were both thinking the same thing: James. Or, at least, I was thinking that. She was probably thinking 'Edward's uncle', since I hadn't told her his name. I hadn't just in case she went to the police. That could be a catastrophe. Since we didn't have any proof whatsoever other than 'he said' 'she said' there was no way that James could be convicted of anything. Besides, he could afford a good enough lawyer to talk himself out of any legal situation, especially if there was no proof. If we reported him and it went to court with no evidence… there was no way that James would let either one of us live long enough to find some kind of proof.

We sat there, frozen, for a while. Then the knock came again.

"It might be Emmett," Bella whispered. She dropped her cards to the floor, and stood up.

I did the same. I slipped her hand into mine and we walked together to the front door. For a moment, I regretted not stealing my knife back; it had given me a sense of security, even if I felt guilty for just carrying it.

Bella hesitated, took a deep breath, and then opened the door.

It was Emmett.

When we saw him there, I exhaled slightly in relief but Bella practically sagged against me.

I analysed her expression. She was very pale and the panic that was written all across her beautiful, beautiful face made me feel sick. Perhaps telling her had been a mistake. Not that I had had much choice.

Emmett narrowed his eyes at us suspiciously. "Am I interrupting something?"

"Cleg," I said flatly.

His eyes narrowed further. "Is that code for something?" He paused. "Actually, I don't want to know." He turned to Bella. "B, I need to talk to you. Just go over and finalise your schedule for the next few weeks, and the concert dates."

Bella sighed, irritated. "Do we have to? I mean, we've been through it a thousand times."

"Yes, we-"

I interrupted Emmett. "Yeah. Bella, it's a good idea. You talk with Emmett; I have to go and grab a few things." I stared into her eyes, trying to tell her through that medium what I couldn't in words with her cousin in earshot: that I had to go out, and, this way, she wouldn't be alone.

"Okay," she said quietly.

"I'll be back real soon," I promised.

She nodded forlornly.

I pulled her into a hug and whispered in her ear, "Don't worry. No one will hurt you with Emmett around."

She hugged me back, pressed her lips to my throat and then let me go; all of me, but a hand. "See you in a bit. What, an hour maximum?"

That was code for her limit of how long she could cope without me, I imagined. I thought about what I had to do. "Forty-five minutes," I told her, squeezing her hand. "Maximum." Then I shot Emmett a quick smile and made my way out of the hotel.

Now I had forty-five minutes to get this shit sorted. Once and for all.

**~VTN~**

A few minutes later, I was sat outside of James' office, waiting to be called in. He was talking to Aro. I wondered what they were talking about in there. I wondered if Aro had told James about my feelings for Bella. I wondered if James even gave a shit.

I wasn't waiting for long. Aro came out, and sat down next to me.

"You okay kid?"

I stared at him for a long moment, trying to figure him out. I still hadn't forgotten the last conversation we had had, when he had hinted that _Carlisle_ had wanted him to work for James. I didn't believe that; my father had hated his brother with the passion of ten thousand suns.

"Yeah," I relied after a while. "I'm okay." I stood up to go into James' office.

"Edward?"

I glanced back. "Yeah?"

"You're not a bad person, you know. No matter what James makes you do, you're not the bad guy here."

His words sent shivers of worry, and panic down my spine. I just nodded, and knocked on the door.

"Enter," James called boredly.

I pushed the door open and stepped inside, closing it behind me.

James looked up. "Ah, Edward, just who I was looking for." He shut a book that was open on his desk and gestured to the seat across from him. Then he turned back to his things on his desk. "Take a seat."

"No," I refused. "I'm not here for a long talk. I'm here to resign. I quit." I slapped my hand down on his desk, pulling his attention back to me.

James laughed. "Edward. We've been over this. You can't quit; I've already paid you tons of money."

"Is it the _money_ that matters to you?" I spat. "Fucking money. Money can't buy you life, or love. Money is the root of all evil, you know that."

James just shrugged. "That is irrelevant. The thing we are talking about is that you cannot quit."

I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my wallet. I opened it up and pulled out some money that I had borrowed from Bella. I threw it down on the desk. "Take it. Take it and let me go. I can't do this any more."

James looked at the money suspiciously. He reached forward and took some, leafing through it.

"It's real," I told him through gritted teeth.

"Indeed it is," James agreed. "Where did you get this?"

"That's not your concern." I stuck my hands back in my pocket. "Please. You said that once I've done this I can go. Well, I'm done."

James' head shot up. "You've done it?"

"No. But I'm done."

James got to his feet then, his fists clenched around the cash. "You're done when I say you're done. Not before. You _will_ get rid of Bella Swan."

"Why?" I roared. "Why do you want this so much?"

James stared at me for a long moment. And then he cracked up laughing. "Oh, Edward." He continued to laugh.

"What?" I asked with a sigh. I was fed up with James and how he found the fucking up of my life hilarious.

"You are so much like your father," he chuckled. "Always fall in love with the wrong girl, don't you?" He laughed again.

I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists. But I didn't deny it. "My mother was not the _wrong girl_."

"She was from a poor family; we were from a rich family. Of course she was the wrong girl."

I scoffed. "Ugh! What century are you living in? Love stopped being separated by class years ago."

"Hmm. I suppose she's not the wrong girl as much as you're the wrong boy…" He pursed his lips and then shook his head. "Nevertheless, I want her dead."

"And if I refuse to kill her? Will you get Aro do it like he killed her mother? Why did you do that? Why do you even _want _this? What kind of _bastard_ actually _wants_ such a kind, beautiful, selfless girl dead, huh?" I was fuming now.

James glanced at his watch, bored. "Look, Edward, I'm sorry, but I have things to do. The simple version of this is that I'll give you four more weeks. And I'll have people shadowing your every move so there's no lying, or running away. If the girl is not dead by then… well, someone will have to pay for that, won't they?"

I narrowed my eyes slightly. "Are you threatening to kill _me_ instead?"

James shrugged. "Or… well, I'm of the understanding that there's an important person at the hospital whose little life is hanging by a thread?"

I glowered at him. "You wouldn't fucking _dare_."

"Wouldn't I?"

His smug face was fucking asking for it. I pulled my fist back and was about to snap it back and hit him in his motherfucking jaw, but someone caught my fist.

"Come on, Edward. Walk away, man." His voice was hushed in my ear.

I hesitated, but Aro pulled on my arm again. I sighed and lowered my arm before letting Aro tug me out of the room.

"Remember, Edward, four weeks!" James called after me.

Four fucking weeks.

The weight that had been lifted was suddenly dropped back on my shoulder, and this time, it was twice as heavy.

**~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~X~**

**Hey guys! Sorry about the looooong time between updates. I have no idea why but this chapter was a real bitch to write, and then I started a new story, and now I'm on holiday… you know how it goes… real life really gets in the way sometimes huh? :L**

*****BTW!*** I have done some editing to the prologue because some bits weren't quite tying in with the little changes I've made since initially planning it. If you're one of the few people who are relying on the prologue to guess the ending then you might want to re-read. They're only very little changes though so it won't matter if you don't go back.**

**And now some self-pimpage ;) I started a new story! :D I have a good feeling about this one :) It's two chapters in and it starts off pretty angsty but I have different plans for the latter half of the story… it'll stay angsty but also a little happy… kind of. Ah you'd see what I mean as soon as you read the first chapter ;) Anyway, it's called 'Taking Chances' and this is the summary:**

_AU/AH When Edward moves to Forks to escape his demons the last thing he expects is to be taken under the wing of impulsive bad girl Bella Swan. But Bella is battling demons of her own and the pair may have more in common than they could have imagined…_

**So yeah :)**

**Next chapter: Edward finds out why James wants Bella dead, and Bella drops a bit of a bombshell… just a little one ;)**

**I don't know when I'll next post… ASAP is all I can say. No previews this time, though, folks. Sorry :(**

**Reviews are appreciated all the same! :)**

**Thank you all!**

**-Steph**

***Added Note* Since a few people have already asked, no, Bella cannot go to the police because LIKE EDWARD SAID they don't have enough proof to have him convicted. He would just get mad and do something really bad.**


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